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AkJon Ferguson
JC Ferguson and Son Ltd Ferguson Alliance
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:43:00 -
[1]
Here's mine:
Dear EVE Players,
Yesterday an internal CCP document was released that largely exposes our true vision for the future of EVE. Since we can no longer continue to deceive you, we've decided to be completely honest with you.
If you must know:
1. We don't give a rats ass about you. All we want is your money. We don't care if you've been playing 7 hours, 7 days, 7 months or 7 years. We want your money. And you haven't been giving it to us fast enough.
2. We don't care about the game. We think it's kind of stupid that so many grown-ups are captivated by it, but we're glad to take your money and play make believe when you show up at events like Fanfest. We sure have no plans to perfect it, because who tries to perfect a stupid cowboys and indians game in space? What drug dealer makes sure his ****** is 100% pure?
3. Most of you seem to be relying on us having integrity or ethics or some sense of fair play when dealing with you. We don't. Get over it. See point 1.
4. Most of you are addicts. Bend over. Those of you who aren't are replaceable. There's the door.
Fly safe.
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Takishu
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:47:00 -
[2]
And i took the door. No more bending over for blatant "We don't give a ****". However, this is the funniest time i had on those forums. Your post is one of the most creative : can't wait to see submissions. |
Kez Aumer
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:54:00 -
[3]
Rough draft #1:
vision, vision, vision. Fans, community, common vision. Explore, vision, new technology, community, vision. Trust, long haul, fans, vision, give us all your ****ing money.
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Narisa Bithon
Caldari The Motley Crew Reborn
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:55:00 -
[4]
Originally by: AkJon Ferguson Here's mine:
Dear EVE Players,
GET BENT
Fly safe.
tl dr version
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Demure Guise
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:56:00 -
[5]
Both excellent submissions.
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Lynx Amurie
Caldari Rage For Order Nihil-Obstat
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:56:00 -
[6]
What devblog? You mean the one they won't post ever?
Otherwise this is basically what anything they post will come across as unless it has some length and involves some employee 'trimming'.
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Joshua Foiritain
Gallente Coreli Corporation Naraka.
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:58:00 -
[7]
Quote: Viewing this devblog costs 12.000 AUR.
Aww snap
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Deamos
Dev Null Development and Holdings
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:59:00 -
[8]
Dear Eve-O Players,
We at CCP understand that a certain "document" has surfaced about the inclusion of Microtransactions. This document is not true at all and is a fabrication of some individual.
The truth of the matter is we are not planning on charging for obtaining sovereignty, ships, ammo, etc.
While this is a good idea and we will think on the issue more, we ask you to put it out of your mind. To do so, we are releasing the Incarna trailer and giving each player a brand new, limited edition luxury shuttle. This shuttle is powered by monocles and allows players to travel to Jove space. In addition, it can cloak and can fit a doomsday weapon. Each doomsday activation will require 2 pants, a boot, and 5 monocles.
Again, we thank you for your continued playing and hope you fly safe.
Thank you. -
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Moolti
Gallente Gradient Electus Matari
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:00:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Moolti on 24/06/2011 00:01:14 Dear eve players, Electronic Arts declined to buy eve online. Fortunately we have been able to come to agreement with another fantastic company. Beginning July 1 eve online will be brought to you by Sony Online Entertainment.
We believe this will allow for an exceptional game play experience. This will allow Dust514 and eve online to be seamlessly integrated. With a single station pass. This company has brought you such excellent games as Vaguard, the matrix online, and star wars galaxies' new ame experience. We know you'll be in good hands.
. @)}---^----- The Jove are a warning to us all. We must remember to live and Love and feel. Fall in Love, make Love, be beautful and see the beautiful. For we mustn't loose our human spark |
Harrigan VonStudly
Original Sin. PURPLE HELMETED WARRIORS
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:03:00 -
[10]
Dearest ever so loyal fans/players, We didn't want that document anyhow.
Forever ****ing you...
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Saia Tae Arragosa
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:03:00 -
[11]
Edited by: Saia Tae Arragosa on 24/06/2011 00:03:16
All your Incarna, MT, monocle tears belong to us.
"So we're selling them as extra SP/per hr elixirs." Selling for 1,000,000,000,000.00 Aurum in NEX!
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Ira Infernus
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:05:00 -
[12]
Dear EVE Players.
Find another game.
Dear WOW players. Come one and all.
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Black Dranzer
Caldari
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:05:00 -
[13]
Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist
9/11 9/11
God Bless America
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Gwenywell Shumuku
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:08:00 -
[14]
We don't want to be dinos in the industry ...blabla...we know whats best...blahblah...it will be awesome...blabla...you don't have to if you don't want to...blahblah...we care about EVE...blabla...its just the first step...blabla...
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Morgan Polaris
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:10:00 -
[15]
"We must do some soul searching"...
Donations accepted: 1BpQEYT7aSUNM863BV67FPxyv1cpxr74uu | http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1535011 |
Thom Baron
Caldari Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2011.06.24 00:34:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Thom Baron on 24/06/2011 00:37:03 Edited by: Thom Baron on 24/06/2011 00:36:23 We knew you'd all hate it. We're doing it because it will be better for us, and we think we'll be able to get a high enough turnover rate of carebears buying battleships the day they login to make up for all the longterm players..
Think about it - If a longterm player buys a monocle, we sell one monocle. If players get sick of the game after 2 months, but new players can fly titans within a week by paying money, and all buy a monocle, we'll be RICH!
By the way, you asked us about when the other CQ rooms will come - I'm not sure you all understand how difficult it is to design a room in 3D. We will release one new room per year, then when all races have a room, we will release one corridor per race, per major release, and so on.
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Prime
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Posted - 2011.06.24 01:00:00 -
[17]
Dear EVE Peepz,
we, teh, masterful EVE 0v3url0rdz have decided we need m0ar isk. To get teh isk, we need your $, and we are bound by our shareholders to do anything we can to get it.
we are not a super-corp like exxon or bp or haliburton or monsanto, so we do not poison you while we sell you your own resources.
we are a bunch of nerdy programmers that made a game in space, and it iz g00d
we need m0ar isk --BUT-- we will not pollute your air (ic3land has geo-thermal power yo!) we will not poison your water (wtf is up with north america + fluoride anyway?) we will not frighten you into self-divisive fear & rage ( foxnews ) we will not feed you high fructose c0rn syrup ( seriously bad and added to all j00r american food ) we will not then frighten (see above) you into a diet & sugar-free brain-dead bliss ( aspartame )
we WILL convince you to come to ic3land and drink b33r with us
we WILL try to sell you digital j0y in any way you care to take it these are bitz peeples, we are glad j00 like our bitz
they luv our bitz yay!
we 4r3 cccp! we make bitz into RL food !! now you can ch33r
now back to teh regularly scheduled wh1n3rz ( this is what your brain looks like with high-fructose-corn-syrup+aspartame+fear+fluoride )
fight teh p0w3r, st0p teh insanity! use isk instead of bitcoinz or USD$ :P
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