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Lady Spank
Amarr In Praise Of Shadows
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Posted - 2011.08.06 18:35:00 -
[1]
this is a patrol report.
due to recent issues with my pilot license i am forced to reinstall the neural space pilot client and log in to my transloquational respondermajobs with all settings reset to TERRIBLE GON GET ME KILLED LIKE THIS mode. this happens while I am on partol in ANTI-VIOLENCE THRASHER vessel at the sun in fliet danger security system with BAD pirats around. quickly i set up my directional scanner to go more than 5000m and to filter out peaceful stations and POS. Immediately I spot and pinpoint a HERETICAL SENTINEL trying to gain contol of system from the caldari sov owners.
during warp I attempt to wrestle the overview into some sort of order. exiting warp i land 30km away and make boost speeds towards the target immediately. this arrogant criminal defies the law and remains to claim sovereignty. quickly i vanquish him despite his ENERGY NEUTRALISING efforts.
i have been on patrol for 5 minutes. this is an auspicious start to crimebusting proceedings.
a couple systems over another gallente crimer attempts to fly under the radar by employing a CORMORANT caldari unit against the very people that designed her. this was dealt with.
sometimes anti-baddie combat incurs a security countdown since CONCORD cannot be everywhere at once and often mistakes my efforts as pirate acts themselves. during my GCC naughty box I see a PETULANT PURIFIER attempt what the cormorant could not. one short warp and within seconds he was purged and i returned to GCC class situations. thankfully my teapot was still operational.
old man star is known for its history of villany and upon investigating this system i discover a foul beast camping a celestial in his rifter unit. once more crimers were punished. it has been a good day for JUSTICE.
what happens next is most regrettable but leads to some interesting JUSTICE MAKING TECHNIQUES
feeling pleased with my LAWMAKING thus far i engage another criminal flagged rifter but this one is PREPARED and shortly gets under my guns and makes a mockery of my attempts to punish BAD PEOPLE. defeated i turn tail and head back for another THRASHER peace making unit.
upon entering HEVRICE i am challenged by KNOWN CRIMINAL Suleiman Shouaa. an opportunitly like this comes rarely so i square down to show this MEAN BUTT whats what. well that failed but ONLY JUST. strangely this outlaw showed rare generosity and offered me an escape vessel he had relinquished from naughty russian baiting nasty faces. a quick fefit of this RETRIBUTION gets me ready to head off to AMAMAKE to deal with the organised criminal event FRIGAT FRIDAY. i am never to make it to my destination.
awaiting my arrival in LERMIREVE is a frigate gatecamp with Thorax mothership. these heretics DEFY THE LAW by firing upon me as I attempt to coast safely out of their range. SWIFT justice is dealt to the kitsune JAM BOAT before I can even react myself. it is nice to be on the right side of the law. SWITFTLY i lock up the remaining bads but have been on patrol too long and make the error of engaging the one frigate that did not actually shoot me. now the LAW mistakenly identify ME as a criminal and quickly attempt to bring retribution to my retribution. how can i be a criminal without a warp scrambling device? regardless i am able to administer divine payback to the neer-do well NEMESIS boat before the accidental destruction of my ship. IF I HADNT DERPED ON THE FIRST DAMN TARGET I COULD HAVE KILLED SOME MORE OF THEM, REGARDLESS THEY DIED
relieved of ship yet again i return to headquarters. tommorrow is another day and there are many more nasty faces to punish.
CRIMERS GONNA B CRIMINATED
~~~
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Feligast
Minmatar GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
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Posted - 2011.08.06 19:02:00 -
[2]
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Kumq uat
Gallente Guiding Hand Social Club Dystopia Alliance
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Posted - 2011.08.06 19:02:00 -
[3]
OGOD SPANK IS GONNA CRIMINATE ME/10 --------------------------------------- www.eve-pirate.com original author |
Xenuria
Gallente Genos Occidere HYDRA RELOADED
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Posted - 2011.08.06 19:03:00 -
[4]
She was the only thing standing between me and real darkness. Now that she is gone I am terrified. Not because of being alone... No..
As the darkness and wrath consumes me, and as evil misanthropic thoughts steam and fog my mind I am terrified.
Terrified not by what I have become but because I am starting to like it. I am terrified because I have never felt better.
I have become the evil I fight against. The Human Condition personified. "Sweet Jesus, It's an Anti-AT field!"
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Lykouleon
Wildly Inappropriate Goonswarm Federation
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Posted - 2011.08.06 19:07:00 -
[5]
11/10, a riveting tale of space-combat, romance, and adventure. Would read again. Lykouleon > CYNO ME CLOSER SO THAT I CAN HIT THEM WITH MY SWORD |
Panda Name
Amarr Imperial Academy
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Posted - 2011.08.06 23:28:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Xenuria She was the only thing standing between me and real darkness. Now that she is gone I am terrified. Not because of being alone... No..
As the darkness and wrath consumes me, and as evil misanthropic thoughts steam and fog my mind I am terrified.
Terrified not by what I have become but because I am starting to like it. I am terrified because I have never felt better.
I have become the evil I fight against. The Human Condition personified.
shut the frack up, xenuria. your hair looks better, though.
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EVERYONE JUMPJUMP
Fearless Bandits
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Posted - 2011.08.07 00:30:00 -
[7]
Sounds like a fun night.
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Cartheron Crust
Matari Exodus
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Posted - 2011.08.07 02:20:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Lady Spank Thorax mothership.
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daddys helper
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Posted - 2011.08.07 02:26:00 -
[9]
CRMINATED AT ME BRO
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XxSpankGirlxX
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Posted - 2011.08.08 18:46:00 -
[10]
spanktastic story....moar please..
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Tierie
Caldari Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2011.08.08 19:48:00 -
[11]
I missed you, Spank.
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Barakkus
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Posted - 2011.08.08 20:48:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Lykouleon 11/10, a riveting tale of space-combat, bromance, and adventure.
Fix'd. - [SERVICE] Corp Standings For POS anchoring |
Cable Udan
Caldari
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Posted - 2011.08.08 21:27:00 -
[13]
What an incredible tale of space justice. I look forward to the hardback release! - Chasing the Blue Flash - My PvP Blog! |
fgft Athonille
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Posted - 2011.08.08 23:21:00 -
[14]
0/10
easily the worst poster in the universe
Originally by: Skippermonkey keep trying and you can be an hero just like fgft Athonille
Originally by: Singeaboot Raj Tbh i am beginning to see the win - it's the haircut, makes people take notice.
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Lady Spank
Amarr In Praise Of Shadows
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Posted - 2011.08.09 01:49:00 -
[15]
Thanks everyone for the 100% nice comments. I'll try to do more if there is a night worthy of reporting on.
~~~
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Dirk Magnum
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
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Posted - 2011.08.09 01:59:00 -
[16]
---Battle Report Begins--- Dirk Magnum uses fusion rounds against Hawk. Loses Jaguar. ---Battle Report Ends---
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Dirk Magnum
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
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Posted - 2011.08.09 02:01:00 -
[17]
^^ how you report glorius battal v0v
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Lady Spank
Amarr In Praise Of Shadows
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Posted - 2011.08.09 02:12:00 -
[18]
Probably going to lose to a Hawk every time regardless of ammo tbh. ~~~
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FunzzeR
Legion of the Scottish Fold
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Posted - 2011.08.09 04:13:00 -
[19]
THE SCOTTISH FOLD WILL PROVAIL!!
PRAISE THE SCOTTISH FOLD!! PRAISE THE SCOTTISH FOLD!!
THEIR WILL SHALL BE DONE!! |
Lady Spank
Amarr In Praise Of Shadows
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Posted - 2011.08.09 05:21:00 -
[20]
Originally by: FunzzeR THE SCOTTISH FOLD WILL PROVAIL!!
PRAISE THE SCOTTISH FOLD!!
Quote: I am happy
. /l、 ゙(゚、 。 7 l、゙ ~ヽ じしf_, )ノ
This thread has been FunzzeRed
~~~
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Jack Hellbender
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Posted - 2011.08.09 06:25:00 -
[21]
nice read
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Diesel47
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Posted - 2011.08.09 09:54:00 -
[22]
Combat was lacking, try to add more than just "his sentinel was wtfpwned even thou he used neuts."
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Shantie en'Lewarx
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Posted - 2011.08.09 09:55:00 -
[23]
Feh, not likely.
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Sydious
Amarr Suburban Tea Party
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Posted - 2011.08.09 09:58:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Lady Spank this was dealt with.
Glad to see somebody finally dealing with all this stuff, keep up the great work.
Quote: CCP Zymurgist> They are all noobs Lana, they are all noobs
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Beat General
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Posted - 2011.08.09 10:21:00 -
[25]
fake and gay
-general levy
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Meridith Akesia
Stimulus
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Posted - 2011.08.09 10:31:00 -
[26]
ANTIPIRAT 4 LYFE
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P0TAT0
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Posted - 2011.08.09 11:06:00 -
[27]
M0N0CLE
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Lady Spank
Amarr In Praise Of Shadows
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Posted - 2011.08.09 11:45:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Diesel47 Combat was lacking, try to add more than just "his sentinel was wtfpwned even thou he used neuts."
[ 2011.08.05 21:37:56 ] (combat) <color=0xffbbbb00>Your group of 250mm Light Artillery Cannon II barely scratches (Sentinel), causing 304.0 damage. [ 2011.08.05 21:38:04 ] (combat) <color=0xffbbbb00>Your group of 250mm Light Artillery Cannon II lightly hits (Sentinel), doing 574.9 damage. [ 2011.08.05 21:38:08 ] (combat) <color=0xffbbbb00>Your group of 250mm Light Artillery Cannon II barely scratches (Sentinel), causing 310.4 damage. [ 2011.08.05 21:38:09 ] (notify) Approaching GF Wreck
There wasn't much to write about on that one. I do note the default keep at range was still on (500m), like I said I'd just logged into a new client install. Why are the default settings so godawful? Poor noobs ~~~
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Luvvin McHunt
Caldari State War Academy
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Posted - 2011.08.09 11:51:00 -
[29]
Best thread in ages.
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War Kitten
Panda McLegion
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Posted - 2011.08.09 12:44:00 -
[30]
Good read :)
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