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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Kurren
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Posted - 2005.10.27 22:39:00 -
[181]
 Originally by: Jon Hawkes
For those of you who have been spared reading my in game bio, I thought I'd share it with you all:
Quote:
# At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
'cause mining up in Fountain seemed like suicide.
I should have checked my target lock,
I should have switched to EMP,
If I thought for just one second
They'd be sick of podding me.
OK now go! 'Cause we're at war.
Don't turn around here,
'cause my hold is full of ore.
Was I the one who said I knew which way to fly?
My armour's crumbled.
D'you think I really want to die?
Oh no, not I; Iteron Five.
As long as I still have a clone
I know I'll stay alive.
I've got four more jumps to do,
Looks like I haven't got a clue,
But I'll survive. I will survive....
OMG... that's awesome!! I've caught myself singing it and kinda dancing to the beat in my chair at work!! ROXXORS!
************************************************
I'm not a pirate, I'm a business-extremist... |
Meric Blackwater
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Posted - 2005.10.27 23:44:00 -
[182]
Edited by: Meric Blackwater on 27/10/2005 23:45:49
Heres something inspired by my early mining experiences.
16 Cans
I was born one morninÆ when the sun didnÆt shine.
I fitted my laser and I started to mine.
I loaded 16 Cans with Condensed Scord
And the corp boss said ôWell oh my lordö
You load 16 cans, and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
PVPÆer donÆt pod me cause I canÆt go
I sold my clone to the company store
- - -
Eve Online until it's for real.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.29 13:29:00 -
[183]
How would you describe an EVE character with bad teeth?
You'd probably say that they had Minmatartar.....
*/me hears groans...*
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Tom
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Thomus
|
Posted - 2005.11.02 17:05:00 -
[184]
There was an Amarr on a bridge one night,
his lips were all of a quiver.
He gave a caugh,
His leg fell off,
And floated down the river.
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Tom
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Sobeseki Pawi
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Posted - 2005.11.02 18:01:00 -
[185]
Amarrian Carrier Pics
What's the most dangerous weapon in Eve?
The one that kills you.
~Captain Cutie, HFS Event Horizon
Biomass fears me.
Sovereignty 2.0 |
Lester Mako
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Posted - 2005.11.02 18:29:00 -
[186]
Why would you duct tape a hamster?
So, it doesn't explode when you have s3x with it.
Miner, Seller of Minerals, Father |
Lester Mako
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Posted - 2005.11.03 04:23:00 -
[187]
Guess, you didn't like my joke?
Miner, Seller of Minerals, Father |
Sobeseki Pawi
|
Posted - 2005.11.03 04:33:00 -
[188]
Originally by: Lester Mako
Guess, you didn't like my joke?
*Captain Cutie thanks Captain Obvious for his time.*
~Captain Cutie, HFS Event Horizon
Biomass fears me.
Sovereignty 2.0 |
Mr Adequate
|
Posted - 2005.11.03 06:41:00 -
[189]
I don't find much of your stuff the least bit funny Thomas, but I'll give you 10/10 for effort, at the very least.
My joke:
What's the difference between a Minmatars face and a Waterbed?
...You have to take your shoes off to jump on a waterbed.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.03 10:04:00 -
[190]
you know what i don't think is funny? a select few people who don't like my attempt at bringing more humour into the game that decide to spam it with sick jokes that are not of a clean nature, to try and get the thread locked. if you ask me, i'd say you were spamming. so please, naff off, and leave me and my hard work alone. im trying to make people happy here - why put me down? even if the jokes are awful...
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Tom
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Gloomash
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Posted - 2005.11.03 12:11:00 -
[191]
Edited by: Gloomash on 03/11/2005 12:11:57
Would post here, if I wouldn't know my jokes are very ... uhm ... let's say misantrophic and have a big parental advisor on them.
Anyway Thomus thanks for making the thread has some very nice jokes or funny situation in here.
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Mr Adequate
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Posted - 2005.11.03 12:18:00 -
[192]
I think the operative word is "humour". You seem to lack it. "Effort" on the other hand, you have smackerels of. On the other hand, my think my joke was funny. I wanted to say "ship" instead of "face" but.. I dunno.. No context in it. I dunno about that gerbil/hamster one though, that joke wasn't even Eve related.
If you went for quality, not quantity, I think you'd find yourself copping less flak. Just because you're the brainchild of this particular thread, doesn't mean you should fill it up with boring, trivial, and not the least bit funny crap.... Like your "local chat logs". They aren't funny. At all.
So if you truly are SERIOUS about upholding a funny thread, stop posting meaningless crap that only you find funny. Please. Look, I'm not really trying to flame you, per se. More like offer you constructive critizism. I'm just a little blunt. Please excuse the lack of subtlety.
Oh, and sorry about mis-spelling your name. Thomus, not Thomas.
Heres another attempt from me:
Whats the only thing wrong with an Amarrian Battleship full of 1000 Minmatar slaves blowing up?
..you could have fit 2000 in there.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.03 21:00:00 -
[193]
lol - ur input is funny, and i agree that my humour sucks too - but if it wasn't for the bumps from me, no-one would remember to post their own jokes. :-S
BTW, FYI, this thread has had more tha 10,000 readers! its like everyone online now, all taking a peek at once.
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Tom
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Fornost
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Posted - 2005.11.03 21:06:00 -
[194]
I'd add something if I had some of the funny to share, but I lack; so intstead I shall just steal the funny that is in this thread and pass it off as my own in other situations :)
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Mr Adequate
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Posted - 2005.11.04 00:33:00 -
[195]
What does a Gallente woman say after having sex?
"So are you guys all from the same corp?"
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GinaD
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Posted - 2005.11.04 01:09:00 -
[196]
LOL some great jokes here :)
Hats off to OP and contributers here.
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Ryea Eripmav
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Posted - 2005.11.04 08:29:00 -
[197]
Edited by: Ryea Eripmav on 04/11/2005 08:33:33
Note: My S.O. and I live in the USA.
Another Moment With My S.O. -Driving Home: Because my car is at the mechanic's I have been getting rides from my S.O. (who also plays EVE) given that I pay for gas. Noting the gas gauge he comments to me unflinchingly "I need ISK to get home." I stare at him with a smile as he drives down the main street in the city he resides.
"What?!"
"You need ISK to get home?" I continue to smile. 
"I'm never living this down am I? That and tech 2 parts for your car?" 
This moment brought to you by a combination of my S.O.'s preoccupation with EVE and sleepiness.
-----------------------------------------------
(\_/)
(O.o)
(> <) The Bunny strikes again, on his way to world domination.
"...The bunny, the bunny
Oh! I love the bunny..." |
Dak Hakin
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Posted - 2005.11.04 09:05:00 -
[198]
I find myself thinking in Eve terms a lot... Though I have not gone to AutoZone for tech II parts yet, just because there is not one close to me.
*thinks*
Well, I have nothing funny to share.
_______________________________________________
If you fear the thorn, do not crave the rose |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.05 15:14:00 -
[199]
i have thought about putting an afterburner on my car..... :-S
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Tom
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Ryea Eripmav
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Posted - 2005.11.05 16:55:00 -
[200]
Who needs to make things up when RL is so much funnier?
From the "Girls Only" thread
Originally by: Jon Hawkes
While it's a good idea in theory, wouldn't some of the features of Eve need to be altered for an all-female corp?
The "Production Efficiency" skill could be renamed to "Call Dad for help with assembly"
Instead of calling ships names like "Incursus" or "Armageddon", would they be renamed to "Green Ships" and "Yellow Ships"?
The Autopilot could be given a male voice that asks "Are you sure this is the right way?" every few jumps
The "Repair" facility in stations could lie about how much the ship really costs to fix
*Ducks for cover...
Originally by: Zajo
Originally by: Jon Hawkes
The Autopilot could be given a male voice that asks "Are you sure this is the right way?" every few jumps
The male version to this should be "You sure you dont wanna stop and ask for directions?"
-----------------------------------------------
(\_/)
(O.o)
(> <) The Bunny strikes again, on his way to world domination.
"...The bunny, the bunny
Oh! I love the bunny..." |
Thomus
|
Posted - 2005.11.21 22:59:00 -
[201]
Hey folks, long time no joke - I found my beloved thread on page 20-odd.
To keep in with the upcoming festive season, a really bad EVE-related Xmas joke is in order:
What did Santa say to the three Gallente women standing on a street corner?
"HO, HO, HO!"
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Tom |
Mishima
|
Posted - 2005.11.21 23:35:00 -
[202]
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=250889&page=1
... made me laugh a little - part of me died tho
I love x-mas :D |
Carth Jared
|
Posted - 2005.11.22 00:31:00 -
[203]
Not totally eveish but what the hell
What sound does a 1337 train make.
W00t W00t.
ATUK | The 5
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Vlodec
|
Posted - 2005.11.22 01:53:00 -
[204]
The funniest joke OF ALL TIME has nothing to do with EVE (goes without saying really). It comes from Monty Python's Parrot sketch. I wonder how many of you benighted heathens are even aware of it......
Am I allowed to say that ? |
GinaD
|
Posted - 2005.11.22 02:21:00 -
[205]
Originally by: Ryea Eripmav
Who needs to make things up when RL is so much funnier?
From the "Girls Only" thread
Originally by: Jon Hawkes
While it's a good idea in theory, wouldn't some of the features of Eve need to be altered for an all-female corp?
The "Production Efficiency" skill could be renamed to "Call Dad for help with assembly"
Instead of calling ships names like "Incursus" or "Armageddon", would they be renamed to "Green Ships" and "Yellow Ships"?
The Autopilot could be given a male voice that asks "Are you sure this is the right way?" every few jumps
The "Repair" facility in stations could lie about how much the ship really costs to fix
*Ducks for cover...
Originally by: Zajo
Originally by: Jon Hawkes
The Autopilot could be given a male voice that asks "Are you sure this is the right way?" every few jumps
The male version to this should be "You sure you dont wanna stop and ask for directions?"
LMAO thats too funny! 
"Theres a thousand shades of white and thousand shades of black..no matter what smile pretty and watch your back" |
Thomus
|
Posted - 2005.11.22 13:58:00 -
[206]
Edited by: Thomus on 22/11/2005 13:58:36
Originally by: GinaD
LMAO thats too funny!
Agreed, so far the funniest EVE related joke there has been...
perhaps people would like to donate to the joke fund, (give me money), and whoever has the best joke at the end of each month gets the cash? (i give it to someone funny)
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Tom |
Thomus
|
Posted - 2005.11.22 21:09:00 -
[207]
Possibly the funniest thread i've ever seen:
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=250856&page=1
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Tom |
Thomus
|
Posted - 2005.11.22 21:43:00 -
[208]
Also found this hilarious EVE related humour:
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=215470
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Tom |
PKlavins
|
Posted - 2005.11.22 23:00:00 -
[209]
this thread is my home
loving the idea thomus......here's my contribution:
an amarr, minmatar, jovian and gallente are in a shuttle. the ship is being pwned by ebil rats and the pilot runs into the passenger hold and gets into an escape pod and flies off to safety.
the jovian says, 'im gonna do what any jovian would do' and gets a pod and escapes.
the gallente says 'im gonna do what any gallente would do' and gets a pod and escapes.
the amarr says 'im gonna do what any amarr would do' and grabs the minmatar, chucks him out into space, takes a pod and escapes.
probably too similar to all the other shuttle escape jokes but its my try......im working on some eve lyrics at the mo....will post the lyrics and/or the song if possible 
-----------------------------------------------
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Franken Slammer
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Posted - 2005.11.23 04:17:00 -
[210]
Where's the best place to hide your isk from a Gallentean?
Under the soap
Seen on escrow:
For sale, 2 Gallente rifles. Nearly new. Never fired, dropped once.
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