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Melek D'Ivri
JSR1 AND GOLDEN GUARDIAN PRODUCTIONS SpaceMonkey's Alliance
11
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Posted - 2013.04.23 15:32:00 -
[1] - Quote
Quote:MY GAWD! A wishless person! Stand back, I'll handle this!
>> hijack romvex.exe // loading personality files // rebooting
You wish for a Cuban Cigar. Your wish was granted, but there was a very high concentration of powdered Aluminum and Iron Oxide for some unexplainable reason. When you light your cigar, it incinerates your mouth at temperatures higher than that of Molten Magma.
---
My next wish? Surprise me.
You are surprised. So very very surprised in fact your face freezes in the largest form of surprise it can possibly handle. You find love and she overcomes your surprise at anything and everything she does, but eventually becomes fearful and bored of your surprise and goes out in search of other surprise. SURPRISE. The day she decides to tell you about her on-going affair you are scheduled for emergency face reconstruction, and the doctors fearing you may relapse in to your surprise-frozen state instead give you the largest smile they possibly can. You wake up in this state to the voice of your one true love telling you she's leaving.
You smile.
I wish I was her new surprise.
[Welcome back Amaroq.]
Rules for new people to this:
"If any of you remember the original Corrupt-a-Wish thread, then you don't need me to explain it. But I will explain it for those who haven't heard of it yet.
Basically, you grant the wish of the poster above you, but you corrupt it in some minor way. Then, you make your own wish." |
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
1393
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Posted - 2013.04.23 15:39:00 -
[2] - Quote
Your wish is granted - and the thread gets corrupted by a three page Goons hijack.
I wish for peace. Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc |
Zimmy Zeta
Red Federation RvB - RED Federation
16306
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Posted - 2013.04.23 16:01:00 -
[3] - Quote
silens vesica wrote: I wish for peace.
The wish is granted. Peace in EVE. CCP completely removes pvp from the game, but adds more exciting mining and hauling missions.
I wish for bacon.
Just think of how bad an average post by me is, and then realize half of them are even worse |
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
1394
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 16:08:00 -
[4] - Quote
Zimmy Zeta wrote:silens vesica wrote: I wish for peace.
The wish is granted. Peace in EVE. CCP completely removes pvp from the game, but adds more exciting mining and hauling missions.
Bacon! You've got Bacon! Do-it-yourself bacon. In your kitchen, a fresh-from-the-sty hog, all for your breakfast delight!
I want beer.
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc |
Melek D'Ivri
JSR1 AND GOLDEN GUARDIAN PRODUCTIONS SpaceMonkey's Alliance
12
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Posted - 2013.04.23 16:12:00 -
[5] - Quote
[/quote] Bacon! You've got Bacon! Do-it-yourself bacon. In your kitchen, a fresh-from-the-sty hog, all for your breakfast delight!
I want beer. [/quote]
You get beer. A horrible degenerative disease makes you small and you pretty much fall into a vat of beer, then spill through the escape hatch into a frying pan.
You are now beer battered shrimp.
I want something yummy to eat. |
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
1394
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 16:17:00 -
[6] - Quote
Melek D'Ivri wrote:Quote: Bacon! You've got Bacon! Do-it-yourself bacon. In your kitchen, a fresh-from-the-sty hog, all for your breakfast delight!
I want beer.
You get beer. A horrible degenerative disease makes you small and you pretty much fall into a vat of beer, then spill through the escape hatch into a frying pan. You are now beer battered shrimp. I want something yummy to eat.
And you do. Beer-Battered Shrimp.
I wish for spaceflight.
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc |
Matthew97
Pro Synergy
160
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 16:27:00 -
[7] - Quote
silens vesica wrote:Melek D'Ivri wrote:Quote: Bacon! You've got Bacon! Do-it-yourself bacon. In your kitchen, a fresh-from-the-sty hog, all for your breakfast delight!
I want beer.
You get beer. A horrible degenerative disease makes you small and you pretty much fall into a vat of beer, then spill through the escape hatch into a frying pan. You are now beer battered shrimp. I want something yummy to eat. And you do. Beer-Battered Shrimp. I wish for spaceflight.
Your wish is granted, you get space flight however noone bothered to invent a way to keep you alive during the flight in the rush to fulfill your wish. Upon entering space you suffer a slow and painful death.
I wish for a triple bacon pizza :D
Run level 4 missions? Don't want to salvage? Let us salvage for you, and then pay you for it! -áJoin our Channel: Pro Synergy
Now open in Waskisen ! |
Melek D'Ivri
JSR1 AND GOLDEN GUARDIAN PRODUCTIONS SpaceMonkey's Alliance
13
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Posted - 2013.04.23 16:30:00 -
[8] - Quote
[/quote]
Your wish is granted, you get space flight however noone bothered to invent a way to keep you alive during the flight in the rush to fulfill your wish. Upon entering space you suffer a slow and painful death.
I wish for a triple bacon pizza :D [/quote]
Wish granted. Your pizza is burnt.
I wish for the fastest ship in EVE. |
Matthew97
Pro Synergy
160
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 16:40:00 -
[9] - Quote
Melek D'Ivri wrote:
Wish granted. Your pizza is burnt.
I wish for the fastest ship in EVE.
Wish Granted, the fastest ship in EvE is yours. However the engines are very un-reliable causing you fall out of warp several times before failing completely stranding you.
I wish for super PVP Skills Run level 4 missions? Don't want to salvage? Let us salvage for you, and then pay you for it! -áJoin our Channel: Pro Synergy
Now open in Waskisen ! |
Khergit Deserters
961
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 16:45:00 -
[10] - Quote
Matthew97 wrote:Melek D'Ivri wrote:
Wish granted. Your pizza is burnt.
I wish for the fastest ship in EVE.
Wish Granted, the fastest ship in EvE is yours. However the engines are very un-reliable causing you fall out of warp several times before failing completely stranding you. I wish for super PVP Skills
Your wish is granted. You are the most skilled at suffering Post-Vasectomy Pain in all the universe.
I wish for some rest & relaxation.
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Niko Lorenzio
United Eve Directorate
247
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Posted - 2013.04.23 17:02:00 -
[11] - Quote
Khergit Deserters wrote: Your wish is granted. You are the most skilled at suffering Post-Vasectomy Pain in all the universe.
I wish for some rest & relaxation.
Your wish is granted. You are shipwrecked on a deserted island. The ship and the island have a lifetime easy supply of food and shelter, so without working a day in your life you grow old and die there alone.
I wish that no one would grant my wish so that this thread would die.
|
Matthew97
Pro Synergy
161
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 17:06:00 -
[12] - Quote
Niko Lorenzio wrote:Khergit Deserters wrote: Your wish is granted. You are the most skilled at suffering Post-Vasectomy Pain in all the universe.
I wish for some rest & relaxation.
Your wish is granted. You are shipwrecked on a deserted island. The ship and the island have a lifetime easy supply of food and shelter, so without working a day in your life you grow old and die there alone. I wish that no one would grant my wish so that this thread would die.
Your wish to not be granted is granted in the form of this thread becoming the most popular thread ever.
I wish that CQ was finished. Run level 4 missions? Don't want to salvage? Let us salvage for you, and then pay you for it! -áJoin our Channel: Pro Synergy
Now open in Waskisen ! |
Melek D'Ivri
JSR1 AND GOLDEN GUARDIAN PRODUCTIONS SpaceMonkey's Alliance
14
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Posted - 2013.04.23 17:37:00 -
[13] - Quote
[/quote]
Your wish to not be granted is granted in the form of this thread becoming the most popular thread ever.
I wish that CQ was finished.[/quote]
CQ is finished, but they decided on only dancing males. No girls allowed.
I wish I had a mint condition L'Benito acoustic guitar |
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
1396
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 17:43:00 -
[14] - Quote
Melek D'Ivri wrote:
I wish I had a mint condition L'Benito acoustic guitar
Thy wish be granted: The lovely guitar is all yours... Inside an impenetrable vault for which you have neither key nor combination.
I wish for bread. Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc |
Khergit Deserters
962
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 17:46:00 -
[15] - Quote
I wish I had a mint condition L'Benito acoustic guitar[/quote]
Here comes your mint condition L'Benito acoustic guitar. Too bad you accidentally bang the headstock on the wall, drop a pair of pliers on it while changing the strings, and alternately store it in your roasting hot attic and damp basement, thereby warping the neck in two different directions.
Ninja'ed Edit: And you accidentally lock it up in an inaccessible vault.
@Silens Oh, you get your bread alright. For some reason it appears to be crawling with black specks. You like don't mind a few weevils do you? They're rich in digestible protein. And these are already gut-loaded with tasty bread matter.
I wish people would just grow up and be reasonable. |
Zimmy Zeta
Red Federation RvB - RED Federation
16342
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Posted - 2013.04.23 18:04:00 -
[16] - Quote
Khergit Deserters wrote: I wish people would just grow up and be reasonable.
Mankind evolves into giants, 60 ft warmachines of pure pwnage. That is- except you, Khergit, you'll stay at your normal size. It doesn't take long until you are considered a creepy vermin by the giants an one of them just steps on you. All the giants agree that this was a reasonable step.
I wish you a merry christmas Just think of how bad an average post by me is, and then realize half of them are even worse |
Melek D'Ivri
JSR1 AND GOLDEN GUARDIAN PRODUCTIONS SpaceMonkey's Alliance
14
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 18:55:00 -
[17] - Quote
Zimmy Zeta wrote:
I wish you a merry christmas
Wish granted. My Christmas is filled with doom and despair however. Just the way I like it.
I wish you have an equally merry Christmas. |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
3262
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 19:55:00 -
[18] - Quote
Zimmy Zeta wrote: I wish for bacon.
silens vesica wrote: I wish for bread.
I wish for Lettuce and tomato.
BLTs for ERRRRRRRVRYBODY!
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
1401
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 20:13:00 -
[19] - Quote
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:Zimmy Zeta wrote: I wish for bacon.
silens vesica wrote: I wish for bread.
I wish for Lettuce and tomato. BLTs for ERRRRRRRVRYBODY! With weevils.
Swingset! Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc |
Melek D'Ivri
JSR1 AND GOLDEN GUARDIAN PRODUCTIONS SpaceMonkey's Alliance
15
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 21:08:00 -
[20] - Quote
Quote:With weevils. Swingset!
Your swingset waits until you in the air before spontaneously combusting, then collapsing.
I wish for a jetski |
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Kirjava
Deep Core Mining Inc. Caldari State
2871
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 22:52:00 -
[21] - Quote
Melek D'Ivri wrote:Quote:With weevils. Swingset! Your swingset waits until you in the air before spontaneously combusting, then collapsing. I wish for a jetski You receive a jetski. It is however a shark with Duck tape, good luck.
I wish for a faster internet connection.
Haruhiists - Overloading Out of Pod discussions since 2007. Cardinal Kirjava - Redeclaring the Crusade in the name of the Goddess since 2012. |
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
1410
|
Posted - 2013.04.23 23:53:00 -
[22] - Quote
Kirjava wrote:Melek D'Ivri wrote:Quote:With weevils. Swingset! Your swingset waits until you in the air before spontaneously combusting, then collapsing. I wish for a jetski You receive a jetski. It is however a shark with Duck tape, good luck. I wish for a faster internet connection. You get your speedy connection. And a corresponding increase in spam, pop-ups, pop-unders and malicious sites posing as adverts.
I wish for the end of all spam.
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc |
Melek D'Ivri
JSR1 AND GOLDEN GUARDIAN PRODUCTIONS SpaceMonkey's Alliance
16
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 00:39:00 -
[23] - Quote
Quote: You receive a jetski. It is however a shark with Duck tape, good luck.
I wish for a faster internet connection.
You get your speedy connection. And a corresponding increase in spam, pop-ups, pop-unders and malicious sites posing as adverts.
I wish for the end of all spam. [/quote]
Congratulations! Processed and canned meat no longer exists. (SPAM)
Unfortunately your selfish wish caused many of earths poverty stricken to go hungry, so they start calling, emailing, and writing letters to you. Also they camp your home.
You can't leave, but are going crazy because the phone never stops.
I wish for a giant snake |
Khergit Deserters
965
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 14:58:00 -
[24] - Quote
You get your giant snake, and man is it a good one. That's you chained to it. A great granted wish, too bad you didn't get to enjoy it long.
I wish I had a good analog reverb pedal for my guitar. |
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
1425
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 15:05:00 -
[25] - Quote
Khergit Deserters wrote: I wish I had a good analog reverb pedal for my guitar.
You recieve a vintage Maxon AD-900 in pristine condition. But your amp blew.
I wish for a top-quality banjo.
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc |
Matthew97
Pro Synergy
161
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 15:27:00 -
[26] - Quote
silens vesica wrote:Khergit Deserters wrote: I wish I had a good analog reverb pedal for my guitar.
You recieve a vintage Maxon AD-900 in pristine condition. But your amp blew. I wish for a top-quality banjo.
You have been sent the best quality banjo in the world, however you are unable to ever play it as the delivery guy stole it.
I wish for lots o' money :D Run level 4 missions? Don't want to salvage? Let us salvage for you, and then pay you for it! -áJoin our Channel: Pro Synergy
Now open in Waskisen ! |
Dimitri Falco
Smoothe Around The Edges
2
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 17:41:00 -
[27] - Quote
Granted. Now, where should I put your fifty tonnes of Zimbabwean dollars
I wish for whisky.... |
Commissar Kate
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
1276
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 18:06:00 -
[28] - Quote
Dimitri Falco wrote:Granted. Now, where should I put your fifty tonnes of Zimbabwean dollars I wish for whisky....
You get the bottom shelf, no name, gut rot whiskey.
I wish for a new TV. Set Lasers for Fun!!! |
Mizhir
Red Federation RvB - RED Federation
14838
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 18:11:00 -
[29] - Quote
Commissar Kate wrote:
I wish for a new TV.
TV Granted. It's just a shame that it only displays brown colours.
I wish for a trip to the moon
We will never forget you Saede!
I bet you dont see things like this so often in EVE |
Commissar Kate
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
1284
|
Posted - 2013.04.24 18:27:00 -
[30] - Quote
Mizhir wrote:Commissar Kate wrote:
I wish for a new TV.
TV Granted. It's just a shame that it only displays brown colours. I wish for a trip to the moon
Unfortunately, your rocket is designed by Kerbals and this happens.
I wish for more wishes Set Lasers for Fun!!! |
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