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Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 02:46:00 -
[1] - Quote
Descendant of Minmatar. Dangirdas was found on a deflect and abandoned Minmatar cargo ship. Some freelancing scavengers found the ship and entered it for hopes of some good loot, but the only thing they found was a teenage boy in a cryobed. Awoken, Dangirdas didn't remember anything, who he was, where he came from, nor the reason he was on the ship. The only thing he remembered was his first name and some foggy memories of the Minmatar capital. He took the cargo ships code name "Bachir" and used it as his last name. The scavengers took him up and raised him. They became his new family.
While scavenging one day they were ambushed by some greedy Amarr scum, everyone died, but Dangirdas managed to get away to an escaped pod in time before the scavengers ship exploded. The escape pod went straight to the Gallente capital. He shortly after joined the Gallente Federation in hopes of vengeance against the Amarr for what they did to the Minmatar people and his scavengers family. |
Bernie Nator
4U Services Inc. Upholders
718
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Posted - 2013.11.17 02:48:00 -
[2] - Quote
I think I will give 0 cares and am instead far interested in violencing your boat. |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 02:52:00 -
[3] - Quote
Bernie Nator wrote:I think I will give 0 cares and am instead far interested in violencing your boat. find me fgt im mining at algogille 0.9 |
Decian Cor
Disconnected. Moon Warriors
41
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:03:00 -
[4] - Quote
In terms of a verbose, literary masterpiece, I can only equate this drivel to the work of a tenth-grader. There were some grammatical errors that were plainly evident, and the way in which you reveal "everyone died", is so grossly anti-climactic, I didn't even bother to read the last two or so sentences.
For the effort and content, I'll give 5/10. This is simply because I've seen far worse in GD from people who were actually trying to be serious. "There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it."
Unfiltered for the masses. |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:11:00 -
[5] - Quote
Decian Cor wrote:In terms of a verbose, literary masterpiece, I can only equate this drivel to the work of a tenth-grader. There were some grammatical errors that were plainly evident, and the way in which you reveal "everyone died", is so grossly anti-climactic, I didn't even bother to read the last two or so sentences.
For the effort and content, I'll give 5/10. This is simply because I've seen far worse in GD from people who were actually trying to be serious. The 1000 letter limitation is a sad thing. If i had more space i would have made it so seemingly way better, i wanted to add more detail, but i tried my best with what i got. Thanks for the feed back though! |
Sir Spottington
Merchants Trade Consortium The Last Chancers.
56
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:11:00 -
[6] - Quote
shouldnt this be in the rp section? |
TigerXtrm
Black Thorne Corporation Black Thorne Alliance
295
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:16:00 -
[7] - Quote
TL;DR My YouTube Channel - EVE Tutorials & other game related things! |
Mr Epeen
It's All About Me
3336
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:28:00 -
[8] - Quote
I like mine better.
Mr Epeen There are 86,400 seconds in a day. You just saved one of them by typing 'u' instead of 'you'.-á Congratulations, dumbass! |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:31:00 -
[9] - Quote
Sir Spottington wrote:shouldnt this be in the rp section? The RP section is strictly only 100% rp. Anything posted that is ooc is getting moved or removed. You can't ask for people opinions because that's out of character. |
Jim Era
7673
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:52:00 -
[10] - Quote
It doesn't really make sense |
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Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:54:00 -
[11] - Quote
Jim Era wrote:It doesn't really make sense Enlighten me on what doesn't make any sense please. |
Johnny Marzetti
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
1249
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Posted - 2013.11.17 03:55:00 -
[12] - Quote
Just put an NPC damage type table in there like most of the people who even notice that there's a character bio tab. Bonus points if it's wrong. |
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
4432
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Posted - 2013.11.17 04:08:00 -
[13] - Quote
Dangirdas Bachir wrote:Dangirdas was found on a deflect and abandoned Minmatar cargo ship. .
i don't understand the usage of "deflect" in this sentence. |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 04:14:00 -
[14] - Quote
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:Dangirdas Bachir wrote:Dangirdas was found on a deflect and abandoned Minmatar cargo ship. . i don't understand the usage of "deflect" in this sentence. The ship was obviously heading a place because it's a cargo ship, deflect meaning that it's off course of the original waypoint. |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 04:21:00 -
[15] - Quote
doublepostfml |
Anomaly One
32
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Posted - 2013.11.17 05:07:00 -
[16] - Quote
you were born minmatar but somehow became gallente.. *~~*running my own mission and have some class bully run up and blow me up because they think its funny, then give the excuses that I was just firing fireworks at you*~~* |
ACE McFACE
Radical Astronauts Plundering Eve Filthy Bastards
1555
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Posted - 2013.11.17 05:54:00 -
[17] - Quote
Mines better. You should be notified if someone quotes your post so you can continue the argument! |
Daquaris
The Loathsome Lions
63
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Posted - 2013.11.17 07:14:00 -
[18] - Quote
Johnny Marzetti wrote:Just put an NPC damage type table in there like most of the people who even notice that there's a character bio tab. Bonus points if it's wrong.
Doing this first thing tomorrow thanks.
Those sansha will never expect therm/kin! |
Kaiia Gavlas Thessia
Ravens' Nest Outlaw Horizon.
24
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Posted - 2013.11.17 08:19:00 -
[19] - Quote
that's a lot of reading, you truly are asking for a lot. If you and your opponent find each other in a fair match, both of you have f***** up badly. Welcome to EVE. |
Inquisitor Ageri
24th Imperial Crusade Amarr Empire
9
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Posted - 2013.11.17 10:15:00 -
[20] - Quote
I like it. Good creative writing (except for the "greedy Amarr scum" part). |
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Tul Breetai
Impromptu Asset Requisition Insurance Fraud.
343
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Posted - 2013.11.17 10:42:00 -
[21] - Quote
Mine's better. There's nothing worse than an EVE player, generally considered to be top of the food chain in the MMO world, that cannot smacktalk with wit and coherency. |
Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
905
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Posted - 2013.11.17 11:54:00 -
[22] - Quote
The number of scavengers in this Bio
[Insert picture of Minmatar elder]
Is too damn high!
"Also, your boobs " -á CCP Eterne, 2012
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Josef Djugashvilis
Acme Mining Corporation
1553
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Posted - 2013.11.17 12:06:00 -
[23] - Quote
Sir Spottington wrote:shouldnt this be in the rp section?
Nope, it should be in the B.I.N. section. This is not a signature. |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
4
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Posted - 2013.11.17 12:13:00 -
[24] - Quote
Anomaly One wrote:you were born minmatar but somehow became gallente.. I was born a minmatar, ended up on a ship, got into a cryobed, lost all my memory, was picked up by freelancing scavengers who really don't serve any faction. I got away in a pod went straight to the gallente capital, joined them and became a immigrant. |
Kaarous Aldurald
ROC Academy The ROC
1522
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Posted - 2013.11.17 12:34:00 -
[25] - Quote
Dangirdas Bachir wrote:Anomaly One wrote:you were born minmatar but somehow became gallente.. I was born a minmatar, ended up on a ship, got into a cryobed, lost all my memory, was picked up by freelancing scavengers who really don't serve any faction. I got away in a pod went straight to the gallente capital, joined them and became a immigrant.
Yech.. do you sparkle in the sunlight, too? Not posting on my main, and loving it.-á Because free speech.-á |
Rhatar Khurin
Happy Asteroid Ltd
347
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Posted - 2013.11.17 12:43:00 -
[26] - Quote
Bio thread!
Mines awful! |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
4
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Posted - 2013.11.17 12:51:00 -
[27] - Quote
Kaarous Aldurald wrote:Dangirdas Bachir wrote:Anomaly One wrote:you were born minmatar but somehow became gallente.. I was born a minmatar, ended up on a ship, got into a cryobed, lost all my memory, was picked up by freelancing scavengers who really don't serve any faction. I got away in a pod went straight to the gallente capital, joined them and became a immigrant. Yech.. do you sparkle in the sunlight, too? Occasionally |
CETA Elitist
Center for Advanced Studies Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2013.11.17 13:56:00 -
[28] - Quote
my bio's better. |
Dangirdas Bachir
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
4
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Posted - 2013.11.17 14:00:00 -
[29] - Quote
CETA Elitist wrote:my bio's better. i read it, it was quite intense |
Solstice Project
Red Federation RvB - RED Federation
4545
|
Posted - 2013.11.17 16:58:00 -
[30] - Quote
Dangirdas Bachir wrote:Anomaly One wrote:you were born minmatar but somehow became gallente.. I was born a minmatar, ended up on a ship, got into a cryobed, lost all my memory, was picked up by freelancing scavengers who really don't serve any faction. I got away in a pod went straight to the gallente capital, joined them and became a immigrant. That's some bullshit cover-up ... |
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