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Mixed Feelings [fairly long post]

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Dumus	Posted - 2006.05.02 10:48:00 - [1] Edited by: Dumus on 02/05/2006 11:04:20 drones are really starting to bite now. I make a snap decision to order the hounds to attack the Covetor. They respond well, and go to work. The Covetor didnÆt last long and exploded in an impressive display. I can see the Megathron is aligning to warp. I point my ship strait at him and fly toward him trying to cut off the escape as I am only a few km from him at this point. I activate the Scrambler and heÆs locked down. The Hounds quickly see the new target and get to work. It seems to take an age to get through that armour but eventually they do and the structure didnÆt last long at all. The firework display was frankly awesome as my ship, now touching the hull of the Megathron, is showered in debris. I did not try to lock the pod as, to be honest I was exhausted. I start collecting the loot and am whooping with joy as each tech II item is revealed when in warps an Enyo class Assault ship! He locked me and started to fire. Slight panic set in, as he started into my armour. Come on get a grip on yourself! I lock him and activate all my modules, the drones are doing the business, but then the Megathron and Covetor pilots arrive to join the party, in an Ishkur and a Hawk! Oh my goodness thinks I. I am so screwed. I now activate one NOS onto each target. The drones kill the Enyo first and head toward the Hawk. I am now in trouble as the cap is not holding and slowly but surly the Ishkur drones are into my structure. I engaged the warp drive just as the Hawk exploded. I escaped with 36% structure remaining! The Ishkur followed me to the belt I had warped to in my panic but I immediately turned tail to my safe spot and cloaked. I repaired the armour, whilst scanning the belts to see where the Ishkur had gone and warped back to the belt he was in. I engaged but I think he knew he would lose so warped out. I collected as many cans as I could fit and flew to my safe spot. Needless to say I was buzzing with adrenalin, soaked in sweat and had a thumping headache after the fight, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. But now I have the problem of the guilt, hence the title of this post. The first fight felt like I was being a bully. The second fight felt better as the odds were stacked in my favour but not entirely so. They had 10 drones to defend themselves, but they should have taken more precautions in 0.4 space. The third fight I feel was fairly balanced. They defended themselves admirably and I almost lost my ship to them; if the Ishkur had had a scrambler fitted I would have gone pop. So is this just a game or is there more to it? I have very mixed feelings about my actions. Do these feelings mean I can never be a real pirate? What needs to change within me to help me to take the game less seriously? These are some of the many questions I have to somehow find an answer too. One thing I do know is that I have learnt a little bit more about myself and hopefully will grow from it. I am sure some of you will feel the need to flame this post. Your free to do so, all I would ask is that you think before you post. edited grammar -------------------------- Lasers are my friends
Dumus	Posted - 2006.05.02 10:48:00 - [2] Edited by: Dumus on 02/05/2006 10:57:11 So I am out in a belt mining away...... Good grief I am bored. Shall do some trading? nah cant be bothered. Oh I know I will open up the character sheet for the millionth time and plan my next training schedule....ZZZzzzzzz. I donÆt know, I have done many many things in EVE from mining to trading to POS running in 0.0, but I am getting tired and fed up of it all. So what to do next? I decided to have a go at being a pirate just for one might. I fit out my Pilgrim for PvP as best I know how, and head to a system I remember being ganked in by pirates a long time ago. I read, a few weeks ago, Malka's excellent guide to using the scanner and set myself up some safe spots in order to find some prey. I went to one of my spots and cloaked. There was no one in system so I sat back and read the paper with one eye on local. Sure enough a while ticked by and four or five pilots entered the system. I waited a while to see if they were going to stay or just pass through. Hmmm three of them are staying. One was Goonfleet. So I thought about it as I started scanning. Bing there he is in belt 2 in an Incursus. So I warped in at 60km to take a peek. The guilt of what I was about to do already started to swell in the pit of my stomach, but I let it slide. So he is ripping into a single cruiser double frig spawn. I start my ship toward him, as he pops the last frig I am not close enough to engage, and he collected the loot and warped to the next belt. I decide to warp in closer this time. Its a double cruiser double frig spawn and this guy is having a merry time. So I decide to approach one of the rat cans and wait. Sure enough he approaches the can and I uncloak and let my Corpums do the business for me, he's webbed scrambled and jammed. By this time I am sweating and shaking with adrenalin. I release the EM hounds and he explodes way faster than was comfortable to view. Now I am feeling bad but hey he only lost a little tech one ship with tech one gear, I tell myself, trying to push down the bile rising from my gut. ...whispers in the ear....You bully!!!... So now I broke my cherry whoÆs the other two and where are they? Back to safe spot and scan for them. Hmmm belt six I wonder whatÆs there? Aha! a Covetor class vessel....Ahhh crap a Megathron too. Lets take a look anyway they cant see me so no harm in looking. I warped in at a safe distance, and do a look at on the Megathron. He's got miner II's fitted! Hmm but this is a very expensive ship with double the ship value in modules, what If I lose. Back to safe spot. My mind is now twisting and reeling, its a hell of a risk.... ohhhh what to do! light switches on in headhang on a minute I have mined and traded and done many things to accumulate all this wealth and its a GAME for Christ's sake. Take a chance, the world wont stop bloody turning if you lose it! Right lets go, engage warp drive, "make it so number one" (how the hell do you guys keep a hold of the mouse when the sweat runs of your palms?) I warped in at 40 km and went down underneath them. They were both line astern about 3km apart. I uncloak and wait for 5 seconds for the counter to go down whilst activating all the modules. Hold down control and .........CLICK..."your security status has been lowered" oooooerrr! the targets lock and I put the NOS on the Megathron along with the jammer and web. I scram the Covetor. The medium hounds start to go to work on the Megathron. They both then seemed to wake up and ten drones are attacking me, I am ok though, as my shields go my repper activates and the cap stay nicely at the 100% mark. I now realise my mistake! The Megathron is taking too long to go down heÆs at 75% armour and their -------------------------- Lasers are my friends
Logan Xerxes	Posted - 2006.05.02 10:57:00 - [3] It would appear sir, that you have found out the main part of this game, fight on! All for the good of many!
Xeaon	Posted - 2006.05.02 10:59:00 - [4] Nice story, some good fights you had. It's cool to see more people giving PVP a go. Personally I think the feeling of guilt dissapears after a short while, with all the smack talk and flaming anti-pirates throw your way, you won't care for too long. Don't forget if you turn to piracy they certainly wouldn't consider how you feel when being chased by an angry mob of 10 or so people
Zarithas	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:01:00 - [5] You just inspired me to get some sort of cloaking ship. Maybe...when I can afford it...and get enough skills... -------------------------------- Joria Klex > it's sad really cuz i know for a fact i would utterly destroy u all in RL combat
Kerc Kasha	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:12:00 - [6] The first couple of kills are always like that mate, the more you kill the more insensitive you get towards it. And yes the feeling kicks ass :D
Izo Azlion	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:12:00 - [7] Thats awesome man. Keep going! If it aint blue, and all that. Hehehe Izo Azlion, Clan Wolf. ---
Hunters Presence	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:19:00 - [8] Quote: Right lets go, engage warp drive, "make it so number one" (how the hell do you guys keep a hold of the mouse when the sweat runs of your palms?) The whole process becomes second nature after a while. The shakes and sweating are majorly reduced (though never non-existant). Quote: Do these feelings mean I can never be a real pirate? What needs to change within me to help me to take the game less seriously? Don't change a thing, just keep it up. ----- Lead Games Programmer @ Quasit-Rushyo Games \| Me!
Perrin Aybara	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:20:00 - [9] Very nice story, seems as you enjoyed yourself loads. Don't feel too guilty for blowing up the the goon frigate as you had to start somewhere and gain alittle experiance yourself without putting yourself in too much risk. I know afew pirates that only engage above cruiser class ships. As most of the time they tend drop better loot and your more likly not to be killing noobs. But at the end of the day its up to you and hopefully you'll find yourself going down the pirate route now that you have the bug for pvp.
Guillaume Yu	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:21:00 - [10] Why would anyone flame an execellent post like that? The rush you felt is the same rush I feel when I warp into a gate camp and there are four flashing BS's. I've gone the other way and hunt people in your line of work and I feel the same rush. Mmmm, I wonder if you would like hunting flashing red ships? All the rush none of the guilt.

Dark Whisper	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:23:00 - [11] just 1 question, Do you feel guilty when killin someone in CS?, Then why should you in eve. Oh, and welcome to the club, That adrenalin gets adictive after time..................
Jenny Spitfire	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:29:00 - [12] There is no such thing as fair fights in EvE. It is just about killing. Today you are the killer, tomorrow day you are the victim. Also all PvPers were once miners... /me hides. ---------------- May 1st - We love Khatred day. RecruitMe@NOINT!
Adoro	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:31:00 - [13] Oooh what a awesome story, really enjoyed reading it! Myself I get a big time adrenaline rush when I come into a fair fight. After 5 months of pirating and PVP I still get that my heart beats out of me chest. I really know the feeling you had during these battles, and now I realise a cloacking device could be very handy for me aswell. Way to go mate! ---------
sgt spike	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:32:00 - [14] class m8 ..... god dammit i need a cloaker can you put a price on peace?
loony zoon	Posted - 2006.05.02 11:58:00 - [15] "I warped in at 40 km and went down underneath them. They were both line astern about 3km apart." Theme music from 'Das Boot' started playing at that point :)
Jin Jemai	Posted - 2006.05.02 12:23:00 - [16] Originally by: Dark Whisper just 1 question, Do you feel guilty when killin someone in CS?, Then why should you in eve. Oh, and welcome to the club, That adrenalin gets adictive after time.................. EVE and CS are totally different games, in EVE people put in a ton of time and effort aquiring things, which can be quickly taken away from other players. In CS, you lose nothing but a bit of pride. You can't compare losing millions of isk worth of ships/equipment which takes time and effort to aquire, to that of having to wait to respawn in an FPS. And to the OP, damned good post, makes me want to be ebil ----- Lighten up a little bit. It's only the end of the world.
Ayame Mishima	Posted - 2006.05.02 12:26:00 - [17] Originally by: Jin Jemai And to the OP, damned good post, makes me want to be ebil Bear in mind that these 36% struc could well have been 0%. ;)
Jin Jemai	Posted - 2006.05.02 12:29:00 - [18] Originally by: Ayame Mishima Originally by: Jin Jemai And to the OP, damned good post, makes me want to be ebil Bear in mind that these 36% struc could well have been 0%. ;) The very first non tutorial thing I learned in this game was, I will lose ships, many times, be podded, and generally had my day turned into a bad one, so that thought doesnt bother me much :) ----- Lighten up a little bit. It's only the end of the world.
Evil Sulu	Posted - 2006.05.02 12:35:00 - [19] Cool story, Hansel. Entertaining read. That battle-pump is a crazy feeling that you can't really describe unless you've experienced it yourself, or are a habitual cr@ck user. The other thing I love is that nasty mixed feeling of 'no-turning-back' as you're speeding through the warp tunnel to land on top of hostiles at a belt or gate (it always seems like that hop takes 5x longer than it really does). ----------
Ayame Mishima	Posted - 2006.05.02 12:40:00 - [20] Originally by: Jin Jemai Originally by: Ayame Mishima Originally by: Jin Jemai And to the OP, damned good post, makes me want to be ebil Bear in mind that these 36% struc could well have been 0%. ;) The very first non tutorial thing I learned in this game was, I will lose ships, many times, be podded, and generally had my day turned into a bad one, so that thought doesnt bother me much :) I didn't mean that. Just think about it won't always go that way. Often enough you see the big ugly blob incoming and have to withdraw. ;)

mamolian	Posted - 2006.05.02 12:57:00 - [21] Most enjoyable story Dumus, and your not far behind my current mindset in this game.. Ive had a few similar experiences over the last few months pvping against pirates and people who just happened to be there begging to be shot :P I will say one thing tho.. shooting carebear miners is no fun.. and you'll hardly get any excitment out of that.. if your after some real pvp.. just hop in a few expendable cruisers with a few buddies and of course in a body with no implants, and just go out looking to get yourself killed.. myself and my corpmates had some ball last week.. about 18 of us in tech 1 cruisers with tech 1 equipment, went out in a gank fleet, managed to pick off 1 Scorpion 1 Megathron 1 Dominix 1 Tempest 2 Cruisers, in a big fleet battle with local pirates.. before our fleet was cut to shreds hehe.. Few mistakes on primary, and switching primary.. in any case the point im trying to make is.. try not to get your enjoyment out of pvp taking on people who are inexperienced, or have no interest in fighing.. instead go for those that do.. and dont beafraid to loose.. after learning that lession, whether i win or loose a fight i always have fun. -------------------------------
Farjung	Posted - 2006.05.02 13:50:00 - [22] Nice story. The bad news is, you'll probably never get the same buzz from pvp as you did from those first kills, but the good news is that the feelings of guilt diminish quickly as well. It is only a game, and they knew the rules of it (or if they didn't, I bet they do now) when they made themselves targets. --- Reckless Wave of Mutilation
K'reemy G'udness	Posted - 2006.05.02 13:53:00 - [23] Originally by: Jenny Spitfire Also all PvPers were once miners... /me hides. I'm proud to say that since I started playing in Decemeber, I have spent maybe an hour mining. It's just too boring. On the other hand, in my first 2 weeks I studied the markets while my char did learning skills, I wrote a PHP/Postgres app to find systems where an item was being sold and bought, and now I've got an alt that lives in one magic system only and so far has made close to half a billion just moving that one type of item. And I did it without talking like Yoda! /self-congrats --- Stolen from Malka: ♥
Ithaca	Posted - 2006.05.02 14:08:00 - [24] I think you can always keep that rush of adrenaline if you continually push yourself to make yourself better at pvp. Going aroung ganking easy targets is no better than npcing, but does pass the time and can offer a little enjoyment. Finding someone, stalking them and then engaging in a tactical fight on both sides will always give you that rush. Loved the OP and reminded me of my first kill.
Nyabinghi	Posted - 2006.05.02 14:14:00 - [25] Dumus...this is your conscience speaking... I make cool banners for ISK.
Ayame Mishima	Posted - 2006.05.02 14:15:00 - [26] Originally by: Nyabinghi Dumus...this is your conscience speaking... You hear a blaster shot Silence... finally.
Farjung	Posted - 2006.05.02 14:15:00 - [27] Originally by: Ithaca I think you can always keep that rush of adrenaline if you continually push yourself to make yourself better at pvp. Going aroung ganking easy targets is no better than npcing, but does pass the time and can offer a little enjoyment. Finding someone, stalking them and then engaging in a tactical fight on both sides will always give you that rush. Loved the OP and reminded me of my first kill. Meh, I try hard to find ways to replicate that buzz (my latest buzzes stemmed from getting a rather expensive vindicator out from a couple of recent fights in 80% hull and 20% armor) but nothing gives me the same sweaty palms as my first few fights did. --- Reckless Wave of Mutilation
pumpdonut	Posted - 2006.05.02 14:32:00 - [28] Nice post indeed... I had the same rush helping take down a pirate the other day. The thought does cross my mind just ripping into some poor sap rat hunting in a belt. So maybe my alt will join a pirate corp, who knows :P
TheKoolEagle	Posted - 2006.05.02 14:39:00 - [29] Edited by: TheKoolEagle on 02/05/2006 14:39:37 the last real heart pounding fight i got into was my gang of 5 bcs vs a raven, a typhoon, 3 thoraxes, a muninn, and some other ships that warped in during the fight, one being a domi, i forgot what the others were, we killed the thoraxes, the raven, and the phoon before everyone but me got blown up, i got out in structure
Disco dancer	Posted - 2006.05.02 19:10:00 - [30] Very well written story ! You dont have to feel guilty at all, anybody who operates regularly in low sec knows ( or should know )the inherent risk of it. Your opponent will have no remorse to send you back to your cloning station so do the same to them everytime you can Happy hunting



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