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Jessica Ripli
E-x7 Network
2
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Posted - 2014.12.22 18:20:40 -
[1] - Quote
Dear Santa
Please bring me Machariel, because this year i have been extremely good. I haven`t ganked everybody and ... oh wait, scratch that. I only shoot war targets - no, that`s not it either. Hmm, let me see. Oh, I only shoot people who deserve it. How about that? Well you probably know, that it`s also a lie. What else? I haven`t used any alcohol or narcotics this year...sh*t, no. Ah f*ck it. Bring me that damn Macha or i will gank your sorry *peep*, you little *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* and *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* or you will *peep* *peep* *peep* carrot *peep*.
Merry Christmas! Jess |
Sol Project
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym
823
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Posted - 2014.12.22 18:23:32 -
[2] - Quote
Hahaha I like it!
"Babies scream all the time, for no good reason" post
"This is hilarious. Watch it" post https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9yugcNW_xI ("Fuck EVE!")
-- Sabriz Adoud
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Ralph King-Griffin
Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance
7745
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Posted - 2014.12.22 18:24:46 -
[3] - Quote
Dear Santa
I was naughty, and i loved it.
Feck you and your list you fat judgemental arse.
o7 Ralph
ps. feck your elves too.
"I'm also quite confident that you are laughing
and it's the kind of laugh that gives normal people shivers."
=]I[=
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War Kitten
Panda McLegion
5660
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Posted - 2014.12.22 18:28:49 -
[4] - Quote
Dear Santa,
Same arrangement as last year I presume?
Your take will be under the plate of "Milk and Cookies"
-WK
I find that without a good mob to provide one for them, most people would have no mentality at all.
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ISD Ezwal
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
3077
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Posted - 2014.12.22 19:59:59 -
[5] - Quote
Jessica Ripli wrote:Dear Santa ... Bring me that damn Macha or i will gank your sorry *peep*, you little *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* and *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* or you will *peep* *peep* *peep* carrot *peep*. Ganking Santa has been done before. Let's say it did not end very well for the gankers......
ISD Ezwal
Vice Admiral
Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)
Interstellar Services Department
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Pix Severus
Mew Age Outpaws
1314
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:01:18 -
[6] - Quote
Dear Santa,
I hope you tanked your sleigh.
If not, I have a Minmatar Sleigh you can borrow.
Lots of love, Pix.
My lord.
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Darren Airtex
Born Imperialism Defiant Legacy
8
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:06:46 -
[7] - Quote
Dear Santa.....
Well......CRACKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never mind. |
Zimmy Zeta
Lisa Needs Braces.
51882
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:06:59 -
[8] - Quote
Dear Santa,
OK, OK, I know I haven't been very nice all of the time last year, but I did my best to try.
So here is a deal for you:
Give me any amount of presents and I will give you twice as many presents back.
Please check my bio for details.
I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it.
Yes, I do feel bad about it.
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ISD Dorrim Barstorlode
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
3726
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:10:40 -
[9] - Quote
Dear Santa, please bring me some isk. Just a few.
Maybe a hurricane.
ISD Dorrim Barstorlode
Captain
Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)
Interstellar Services Department
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Anslo
Scope Works Psychotic Tendencies.
27304
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:12:41 -
[10] - Quote
ISD Dorrim Barstorlode wrote:Dear Santa, please bring me some isk. Just a few.
Maybe a hurricane. K.
[center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]
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Zimmy Zeta
Lisa Needs Braces.
51882
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:13:40 -
[11] - Quote
ISD Dorrim Barstorlode wrote:Dear Santa, please bring me some isk. Just a few.
Maybe a hurricane.
I'd been willing to trade a Hurricane for your monocle if you want one so dearly... I'll even throw some exotic dancers in..
I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it.
Yes, I do feel bad about it.
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Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
18757
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:19:33 -
[12] - Quote
Dear Santa,
I don't want anything. If something were to be given to me, I wouldn't turn it down though. I am concerned about you Santa. The last few times I remember seeing you, you smelled of alcohol. I hope that you aren't self medicating with Rum. That's not the way to go through life. You should be jolly, like all the songs say. Not drunk. Don't get me wrong, I understand. Id probably get drunk too if I worked 1 whole night a year, and got peed on by innumerable crying children. I go home and take a few drinks every now and then after work. Mostly because im management now, and my life didn't turn out the way I wanted. So I understand a little more than I used to. I haven't been peed on yet though. Id probably get angry if that happened. Maybe you get drunk to suppress that anger reflex, I don't know. It does make a little sense if that's your reasoning. I cant drink on the job, so I use sarcasm to get through the day. Maybe you should try that. Its cheaper than drinking. As far as I know, sarcasm is free. Unless you have someone write your sarcasm for you, in which case you may need to pay that person, in money, not in candy canes or elf poo or whatever you extreme northerners use as currency. People gotta live, and unfortunately, you cant pay the power bill with candy. I tried once. They didn't accept a bag of Skittles. I gotta know, why do you eat nothing but cookies and milk? Do you think that may contribute to your rotundness? You know, you only get a momentary sugar boost on that diet.. not long lasting energy. Plus, you gotta eat something with substance when drinking. Many Subways are open 24 hours.. you may want to grab a sandwich through the Drive-thru. Yes, many have drive thrus now! Well Santa, its been real. I gotta get back to work now. Im still learning some of these peoples names.. and they are learning my unique style of 'Me'ness..icity..ism. So anyways, think about the stuff I said. At very least, your liver will thank me.
o7 Santa.
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Vote Sabriz Adoudel for CSM 10!
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ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors Snuffed Out
6878
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:23:27 -
[13] - Quote
Dear Santa,
I have ganked... trolled... griefed... sperged... flamed... gouged... stolen... insulted... pontificated... lusted... coveted... greedily consumed... been drunk more times than I care to count... suicided... raged... undermined... farted at... mentally mutilated... and well... you get the picture.
But I have been HONEST about those things.
Surely that deserves something... right?
Sincerely, ~ShahFluffers
ps: ken ah git sumtin to keel peeps dat no b honesty? I wud leik mutch. Pls plox? :3
Change isn't bad, but it isn't always good. Sometimes, the oldest and most simple of things can be the most elegant and effective.
"How did you veterans start?"
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Jean Luc Lemmont
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
483
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:35:23 -
[14] - Quote
Dear Santa,
I rescued a kitten from the fedo in my hangar bay. Give me a present or I give the kitten back to the fedo.
With humility and affection, Jean Luc.
Will I get banned for boxing!?!?!
This thread has degenerated to the point it's become like two bald men fighting over a comb. -- Doc Fury
It's bonuses, not boni, you cretins.
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Wendrika Hydreiga
193
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:40:28 -
[15] - Quote
Dear Santa,
I want Guristas Edition Everything, for everyone! Please make this Xmas a Guristas Xmas.
Yours truly;
Wendy "The Hydra" Hydreiga |
Tear Jar
Emolgranlan Code Enforcement Branch
235
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Posted - 2014.12.22 20:47:27 -
[16] - Quote
Dear Santa,
Make sure to purchase a mining permit before your next hauling operation. We wouldn't want you featured on minerbumpings kills of the week.
Best regards, Agent Tear Jar |
Ned Thomas
Hellbound Turkeys Alliance of Abandoned Cybernetic Rejects
531
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Posted - 2014.12.22 21:39:55 -
[17] - Quote
Dear Santa,
Can I have your stuff?
Love,
Ned
Vote Sabriz!
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Aladar Dangerface
Parallax Shift The Periphery
52
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Posted - 2014.12.22 22:05:03 -
[18] - Quote
Dear Santa
I hear the elves are planning to awox you.
Just heads up
Al o7
Ps. I may wh#re on your sleighs loss mail.
I don't need twitter.
I'm already following you.
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Serene Repose
1843
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Posted - 2014.12.22 23:22:15 -
[19] - Quote
Smack talkin' Santa. Let me know how that works out. *pets her new pony*
Treason never prospers. What is the reason?
Why, if it prospers, none dare call it "treason."
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Pok Nibin
Filial Pariahs
440
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Posted - 2014.12.22 23:45:00 -
[20] - Quote
Santa I'm so sorry about the sleigh. It looked like a Coercer that was trying to get away.
Sure, you had that huge bag on the back. It woulda been so easy to see were it not for Johnny Walker Black.
I swear I'll get a new one for you soon. Just let your mechanic know I'll be over one coming afternoon.
And try your best to see your way clear, to give me that Vindicator I've been begging for all year.
Dont fight it; Rejoin your Amarrian patriarchs; You know you want to.
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Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
18772
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Posted - 2014.12.23 00:16:37 -
[21] - Quote
Dear Santa,
I R WANT COMPLETE SAFETY IN HIGHSEC!!!11!!! I WANT AL FRAYTER GANKRS 2 B BANNED 4 LYF!!!!1! I DEMAND SP REIMBURSMENTS FRUM CRIUS FAILPATCHSPANSION!!!!!1!111one!!!! I DEMAND DAT DOWNTIME B REMUVED!!!1111!1!!11eleventyone!!!! REMUV AL PVP FRUM HIGHSEC N MAIK HIGHSEC MOAR PROFITABIL!!!! I DEMAND THERA B PVE ONLY SYSTEM WITH CONCORD AND POLICE AND NOBUDY WITH NEG SEC CAN ENTER!!!11!! I R DEMAND CCP BUFF MINING BARGES AND GIEV SIEGE MODULES WITH TORNADO ALPHA AND 1MIL EHP TANK WITH 200% RESISTS AND A PONY HOOD ORNAMENT WITH SPRAKLE RAINBOW THRUSTER TRAILS AND ICECREAM AND PUPPIES AND FREE SUBS AND PANCAKE SYRUP AND EVERYTHING IM ENTITLED TO BECAUSE I HAVE PAID MY SUB WITH RL MONIES FOR NUMBER OF YEARS AND I DEMAND ALL THE ABOVE OR ELSE I WILL UNSUBALL THE ACCOUNTS AND BADMOUTH YOU ON FACEBOOK AND OTHER RANDOM THINGS!!!11111!!!1!!!!!!!
KTHXBYE SANTA.
I guess this is more of a Forum style Santa letter..
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Vote Sabriz Adoudel for CSM 10!
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Sabriz Adoudel
Glorious Revolutionary Armed Forces of Highsec CODE.
4189
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Posted - 2014.12.23 00:25:50 -
[22] - Quote
Sadly, the freighter carrying your Xmas Machariel was involved in an incident in Uedama.
Please accept these Tripped Power Circuits instead, they are all that remain of the once majestic pirate battleship.
Chaos. Opportunity. Destruction. Excitement... Vote #1 Sabriz Adoudel for CSM 10
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Jessica Ripli
E-x7 Network
11
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Posted - 2014.12.23 00:30:39 -
[23] - Quote
Sabriz Adoudel wrote:Sadly, the freighter carrying your Xmas Machariel was involved in an incident in Uedama.
Please accept these Tripped Power Circuits instead, they are all that remain of the once majestic pirate battleship.
Nooo... :) Damn |
45thtiger 0109
AL3XAND3R.
133
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Posted - 2014.12.23 00:36:18 -
[24] - Quote
Jessica Ripli wrote:Dear Santa
Please bring me Machariel, because this year i have been extremely good. I haven`t ganked anybody and ... oh wait, scratch that. I only shoot war targets - no, that`s not it either. Hmm, let me see. Oh, I only shoot people who deserve it. How about that? Well you probably know, that it`s also a lie. What else is there? I haven`t used any alcohol or narcotics this year...sh*t, no. Ah f*ck it. Bring me that damn Macha or i will gank your sorry *peep*, you little *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* and *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* or you will *peep* *peep* *peep* carrot *peep*.
Merry Christmas! Jess
Merry Funny Christmas
Really enjoyed that comment
**You Have to take the good with the bad
and the bad with the good.
Welcome to EvE OnLiNe**
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Jessica Ripli
E-x7 Network
14
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Posted - 2014.12.24 15:55:22 -
[25] - Quote
45thtiger 0109 wrote:Jessica Ripli wrote:Dear Santa
Please bring me Machariel, because this year i have been extremely good. I haven`t ganked anybody and ... oh wait, scratch that. I only shoot war targets - no, that`s not it either. Hmm, let me see. Oh, I only shoot people who deserve it. How about that? Well you probably know, that it`s also a lie. What else is there? I haven`t used any alcohol or narcotics this year...sh*t, no. Ah f*ck it. Bring me that damn Macha or i will gank your sorry *peep*, you little *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* and *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* or you will *peep* *peep* *peep* carrot *peep*.
Merry Christmas! Jess Merry Funny Christmas Really enjoyed that comment
Well, thank you and Merry Fu*king Cristmas to you, good Sir :) |
Hicksimus
Volatile Instability Resonance.
496
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Posted - 2014.12.24 19:07:03 -
[26] - Quote
Dear Santa
I know you saw what I did to that 300 person alliance. I know you saw my alt awox a 50 man corp into closure in the most glorious Hurricane action to have occurred since its nerf. I know you saw what I was doing with my other hand while I did those things. (High-fiving my friends) I know those were naughty things to do.
But if you bring me dat Sarum Revelation I promise to never again: Sell "safe" passage to a freighter Give an alliance-mate a lowsec bookmark to a profitable site that is really just a deep safe where I gank them. Have any "accidents" in which I engage offensive modules instead of assistance modules
Or just don't bring me anything because everyday is like Christmas when I do these things.
Recruitment Officer: What type of a pilot are you?
Me: I've been described as a Ray Charles with Parkinsons and a drinking problem.
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