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Bretonia
Gallente Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2006.09.12 14:47:00 -
[1]
Extract taken from Captain BretoniaÆs Personal log Star date 09/07/06
ôLocation Egg system 0.4 space. 12:00 hoursö
I had been captain of my own personal fleet for many a decade. Today was a routine trip shuttling wares between stations in my Iteron V with my chief engineer and best friend Dan Polowski. (Location Egg system 0.4 space) We had flown with each other for many a year. As far back as I can recall back to the days of working for my dad on his mining barge class retriever. I suppose you could say brothers for everything we had done.
ôBret for fecks sake mate turn that crap off the damn speakers your making me feel sickö I chuckled darkly and turned the sound system up throughout the ship, Enya and old style music back from my forefathers day blared out of the speakers, ôHay Dan I can always put your favourite onö ôIf you put that god damn West Life on IÆm going to come to the bridge and bust your nose you god damn son of a *****ö my obvious reaction was to turn the sound up more. ôDan you know you love me long time $2? Me sucki sucki you love me long timeö I shouted into the mic. All I could hear was Dan cursing and laughing from engineering. ô Bret when we get back I need to overhàö BEEP BEEP BEEP, DanÆs voice was cut out by the ships noise. ôDan give me more power to the engines we have a Tempest and a fecking Armaggedon locking usö The ships locking systems chimed the warning signals of the two hostile ships locking onto us, ôDan for fecks sake reroute all backup power to shields, these bastards are locking us downàoh my fecking god help usö.
I looked out of the view port on the starboard side watching as the Tempests turrets slowly turned to track us ôDan I need more power those feckers are going to fireö I ran my fingers over power runs rerouting power from life support to the engines. I was thrown from my seat from the first salvo of enemy fire, the sound so deafening I covered my ears, I felt wet sticky substance on my fingers. Another crashing salvo and main shields dropped to 58% Boom 12%. The ship was being thrown from side to side from the devastating firepower of the two ships. I felt two more salvos when I flew forward crashing my head onto the control panelàeverything went black.
ôWarning warning structural integrity at 75%ö, I heard the computer screeching out in monotone. My thoughts came back to me slowly and surely. I tried to stand but I felt myself restricted. Oh my god no donÆt say IÆm paralysedàmy eyes slowly opened to find myself strapped into the ships escape pod. ôDan..Dan where are you? Dan?ö I craned my neck around searching for Dan but couldnÆt see him anywhere. BOOM!! My attention was drawn to the*****pit windowàmy Iteron was under heavy fire from the two ships but why wasnÆt I in the ship?? I can remember the salvo then blank?
ôBret are you there?ö I heard DanÆs voice sound faint from over commÆs coming from my hauler. ôBret are you ok?ö I heard coughing and Dan sounded weak. ôDan what the hells going on? Why are you on that ship?? Dan I should be there with you Danö I shouted into the commÆs ôSorry BretàcanÆt fly damn thingàfeel tiredàsleepyàfound you (I heard Dan coughing badly, a sound of liquid on his chest) unconsciousàyou have to surviveàsomeone need to pilot this ship while you got awayàget the bastards forà.ö I watched as my ship flashed before my eyes, the sound like a thunder ***** of the gods, I watched my ship and friend in their death throes. The light so bright the pods darkened screen came down to protect me. ôDan NOOOO!!!àö I screamed as I watched my friend being atomised. ôGod no you bastards IÆll fecking get you,ö I screamed to nobody in paticularàtears streaming down my face.
ôAutopilot engaging warp driveö I turned to look at the control panel, Dan had set in a course to home system four jumps away, locking me out of the controls to stop being doing something rash or stupid. Typical, he always put me before himself. I resigned myself to the ------------------------------------------------
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
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Bretonia
Gallente Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2006.09.12 14:47:00 -
[2]
Sent this to CCP Stories thingy but never had any reply or anything. Just wondering what you chaps thought is all, will post alot more i have written if you find it any good.
Thanks
Bret
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
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Bretonia
Gallente Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2006.09.12 14:49:00 -
[3]
it boys and girlsö I felt the familiar buzz of the crew as the crunch came, this is what we all trained for. ôCaptain we have a lock..Sir Armaggedon is warping outàRaven is down sirö the voice of my comms officer did him credit, calm and clear. ôScramble the tempestö I watched as weapons control activated the two point strength moduleàthe Tempest was building up speed just about ready to warp when the scram kicked in. I watched with satisfaction as the ship lurched back to normal speed. ôSir they are scramÆdàgate sentry guns are firing on them sirö I watched as my boys cheered, caught in their own trap the ship and not able to move they was now mine. ôFire the Nosferatu..drain the bastards. Main deck relise main drones, get them in thereö I watched as the tempest began to lock us, its weapons turning to fire on us. I felt the ship shudder as 7 Medium Nosferatu activated and sucked the buggers dry, no capacity for power equals no tank. I allowed myself a chuckleàmy dark mood starting to clear as I watched on screen as the Tempest armour started to drop. Drones zipped around the tempest firing thermal damage at the ship. The sentry guns kept blowing holes from the tempest.
ôSir their tank is breakingàthree main forward pontoon mounts disabled. Ship is burningö The crew cheered as the ship started to smoke, fires could be seen on all decks, I imagined the pilots and his crew burning alive, flesh falling from the burnt bodies and I felt satisfaction. ôDamage control reportö I checked and noticed that the enemy had not fired a shot, reports came through of no damage what so ever apart from Jones waking up and falling from his bed the damn fool lol. Boom. I watched the ship blow itself apart from the inside, the whole forward section of the Tempest fell away from the ship, crew members could be seen floating through space. Another boom and the smoldering aft section of the ship floated into space. ôWeapons stand down but remain alert. Navigation get close to that can I want whats inside. Everyone well done you did me proudö I could hear the crew laughing and cheering. Everyone did fine today but next time I want both pilots, I wish to feel them burn under my firepower. Watch as they burn to a crisp. I have the power, we all do. Let the universe burn for pirates.
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
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Bretonia
Gallente Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2006.09.12 14:49:00 -
[4]
to the wait. Nothing I could do now but sit and think. Tears streamed down my face as I tried to think what now? Dan IÆm so sorry to have failed you. Only the sound of my sobbing could be heard now. I was aloneà. very much alone.
ôFour systems away in a safe space. 15:00 hours, Ships computer survalliance systemö
Lieutenant Dredge sat in the captainÆs seat feeling power of the seat. The ability of being able to control a Dominix class Battleship with the touch of a few controls. Power to kill anything he wanted, he knew one day he wanted to be the captain of a ship like this, the Flagship ôWhispering Deathö was a formidable ship, able to house up to 7 heavy weapons and be able to tank just about anything, the ship had the right to the name. If only he couldà
ôHay Mark you know the old man will kick your arse if he finds you sat in his seatàheÆll pwnage you so hard you wont know what hit youö Lieutenant Dredge looked at his friend Lieutenant Marcoutha and smiled. ôHe wont mind heÆs an ok skipper, nice change from mining Veld to go on missions for the Federation Navyö ôYeah thatÆs trueàhay comm. Signal coming throughàö Marcoutha ran over to commÆs panel and entered authorisation code to un-encrypt the messageôItÆs the skipper get out of the seat before he busts you back to privateö. ôHi skipàö ôShut up and listenàö both Lieutenants looked at each other, they could see the captain on the main screen, he looked upset, no his face was red and he was shaking, the captain looked furious ôprepare my flagship for combat, Alpha 43F setup. I shall be docking in 5 minutesàwarp up the reactors we are going hunting some pirating bastardsàthey killed Danö.
I marched on to the command deck bearley able to contain my fury. ôare we ready to move out?ö ôSir yes sirö Lieutenant Dredge looked nervous. ôUndock and set course for Egg system 0.4 space maximum speed as you bear if you pleaseö ôAye aye captain, coordinates set grid 1zeta4foxtrat3ö I noticed the other pilots looking at each other and knew I had to let them know what had happened. ôCommÆs give me mic to the ship.ö Brand moved his hands fast over the controls as I watched. ôThis is the captain. 3 hours ago myself and Chief Polowski where attacked and our ship destroyed, Dan was killed while saving me from two pirates, 1 Tempest and one Armaggedon both close range gankers. Now we take vengenceö The crew looked around nervous at each other ôHave I ever failed you before??? For the Emperor!!!ö The crew cheered for the upcoming action, not feeling the loss like I did but time would come later when it was time to grieve, now was time for war!!!
Whispering death seemed to feel my pain, she responded to my touch like a lady does with her lover, together we had fought many a battle always she came through for me. Now she felt like she was pumping out more power for me in my time of need.
ôSir we are approaching the system, permission to jumpö I hadnÆt even noticed we had arrived, I had to pull myself together or I could get someone else killed.
ôPermission granted. CommÆs full alert as you go please, set course for next gate 15km range, Dan.. I mean engineering give me power to armour, weapons online. Gentlemen this is itö I watched the crew as they went about their business. A good team well trained and ready to die if needed. I felt the comforting lurch as the ship jumped through the warp gate.
ôCaptain this is comms, hostiles showing in systemö the monotone voice came through from targeting making me smile. ôPrepare yourselvesàWarp us in boysö The ship aligned to the next gate, adreniline pumped through my body making me feel the lust for death. I was pushed by in my seat as my baby moved in to warp. ôContact bearing one one five range 5km, second hostile bearing one one three bearing 8km siràThey have us spotted they are firing on a ravenö Lieutenant Dredge stood ready at firing control. ôPut us on a tac of point for bring us around. Lock them down this is ------------------------------------------------
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
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phillip duncan
Gallente Adastral Wolf Pack Industires
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Posted - 2006.09.12 18:03:00 -
[5]
I suggest that you post it on the Eve libary forum as that is were all the storys are kept.
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Iconath
Minmatar
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Posted - 2006.09.12 18:10:00 -
[6]
Sorry to be critical Bret. But many parts of the story do not fit with the prime fiction. The most glaring one is that you are not a ship captain. You are a pod Pilot.
There are no portholes for you to look out of. You are sealed in a windowless pod. Everything you see is via camera drones.
Try checking these stories out.
Short Stories:
The Jovian Wetgrave Forsaken Ruins
EvE Chronicles:
Camera Drones Hands of a Killer
They can be found by clicking Backstory on the upper left hand side of the Eve-O screen.
After you read them, Give it another go. It seems you have the drive and imagination to write well.
Good luck!
Originally by: Oveur And indeed, there will be beer
Inebriation / Rank 1 / SP: 255998 of 256000 |
Bretonia
Gallente Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2006.09.14 07:54:00 -
[7]
Thanks for the response :) ------------------------------------------------
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
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Alliaanna Dalaii
Gallente Does Not Compute
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Posted - 2006.09.14 07:57:00 -
[8]
Actually I have read in backstories that not ALL ship pilots are pod pilots so it can actually fit into the fiction. Ok in-game you are allways a pod pilot. But it is entierely possible for a captain and his crew to fly a ship without
Alliaanna DNC Treasure Hunt !!
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Crumplecorn
Gallente Aerial Boundaries Inc. Interstellar Starbase Syndicate
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Posted - 2006.09.14 07:59:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Bretonia West Life
When the PF says that advanced society was destroyed by the collapse of the EVE gate, this isn't what it meant. ----------
Nerf Caldaro! |
Bretonia
Gallente Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2006.09.19 13:20:00 -
[10]
Edited by: Bretonia on 19/09/2006 13:20:59 Double post
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
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Bretonia
Gallente Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2006.09.19 13:20:00 -
[11]
If i wrote a story about a solo pilot in a pod it would not interest me, it is no fun, where is the community in that? IF people write stories WITH a full crew then it takes you into their mind and developes the story more rather than just talking about me or a single person, where is the fun??.
I have written a few warhammer 40k short stories that have been published which made me really proud, mainly they was good enough due to they make you feel a part of the story rather than reading from the outside.
Just my way of writing :) ------------------------------------------------
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
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Miss Overlord
Gallente Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2006.09.19 13:30:00 -
[12]
ccp does chronicles now but no more free ones u see EON magazine is such a money spinner we havent had any in close on 12 months because CCP likes the $$$$ to much so they may as well close down eve chronicles for lack of new content.
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