Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:It was just another typical Wednesday when we went to visit Alex. The staff greeted us with bright smiling faces, and Larry the security guard, who usually escorted us around when we visited, seemed to be in an especially good mood as he waved hello. The sun shone with a jeweled hue through the polarized glass of the medical stationGÇÖs psychiatric module, making the whole place seem almost surreal.
Larry lead us through the waiting area, past the security doors and down the familiar whitewashed hallway towards AlexGÇÖs room at the end of the long hall. He chatted with us about how our family was doing as he always did, and we asked about his lovely daughter, who had to be at least 13 by now. Finally we arrived outside the familiar door of AlexGÇÖs room.
GÇ£You know the drill by now, but I have to say it anyways, Lawyer stuff amirite?GÇ¥ Larry chortled with his thick Ammatar accent. GÇ£No flash photography and please donGÇÖt feed the animals!GÇ¥. LarryGÇÖs belly laugh echoed down the hallway. He was a crack up. Larry slid his palm over the pad next to the door, and the access chip chirped from under the skin of his hand. The door hissed slightly as it slid open. GÇ£Ill leave you folks now. It appears hes having one of his good days, but if you need me, press the button on the visitors pass, anGÇÖ ill be right here.GÇ¥ We thanked him, and he joyfully walked away.
It took us a minute to adjust to the dimly lit room beyond, and another to find Alex, who was laying on the floor behind the bed cabinet. We cautiously entered, and the door hissed shut behind us. My wife gripped my arm tightly as she saw him, laying naked on the floor, scribbling on his chest with a piece of his own excrement, and humming to himself while staring at the ceiling with those cold, empty eyes. The sight wasnGÇÖt as jarring to me anymore, as over the years I had grown accustomed to things like this on our visits.
It took a bit for Alex to even realize we were even in the room with him. He slowly sat up, and smiled. It was a bit creepy, as the expression in his eyes remained empty. The medications sometimes had that effect on him. The doctors all claimed that it was for his own good, but there were times when it just seemed like they wanted to keep him quiet. It was understandable. Alex was prone to uncontrollable outbursts, and eventhough the staff here was prepared for it, it was still a disruption to the rest of the residents.
The wife helped Alex to his feet, and sat him on the edge of his bed. GÇ£Let me help get you cleaned up.GÇ¥ She said soothingly as she walked over to the sink and dampened a cloth. Alex stared at her while she wiped the filth from his body. His gaze remained unbroken as afterwards she found some of the clean white linen clothes in the drawer and helped him get dressed.
She always had a soft spot for Alex. It was the main reason that we decided to pay for his care when we found out that his mind had been broken by one too many clonejumps from unregistered and unregulated facilities. Alex couldnGÇÖt cope with normal society anymore, and it broke her heart when we finally had to place him here in the Long Term Psychiatric Care ward of the Sisters Of Eve station. It was for his own good, at least that what I tried to tell her. Mostly I said that in order to convince myself that it wasnGÇÖt for our own protection. There had been at least three incidents where Alex had gone of his meds, and flooded local nets with nonsense and paranoid delusions, causing the authorities to become involved. The last time, he had angered some people, and those people traced his net access back to our residence and attempted to break in. Luckily I had some pull with the medical board, and had Alex committed the next day.
Now, with Alex cleaned and dressed, my wife sat next to him. She would always attempt to talk to him, about how he was doing, if he liked it here, if he had made any friends. Alex would hardly ever answer. He would either stare at her blankly, or his eyes would wander off and look at the ceiling. Sometimes, on really good days, he would answer, and almost seem normal, but eventually he would trail off into nonsensical rambling. If we allowed his rambling to continue for too long, it would turn increasingly bizarre. I would always try to stop him before he got to that point, but it rarely seemed to help. To tell you the awful truth, I preferred him this way, medicated and numb.
Anyways, that was how most of our visits would go. Little did we know that the man who sat in front of us wasnGÇÖt Alex at all, at least a major portion of him wasnGÇÖt. You see, we would eventually find out that AlexGÇÖs consciousness had been split during his last transference, and what little that made it back to his body wasnGÇÖt able to cope with reality. The majority of him was still out there, adrift in the nets. A formless soul, looking for an outlet anyway it couldGǪ.