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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
NickyYo
StarHug Brotherhood of Starbridge
26
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:27:00 -
[1] - Quote
Without offending her? |
Krios Ahzek
Juvenis Iratus
232
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:29:00 -
[2] - Quote
Just dump her and get one that isn't a fatty.
Alternatively if you've been with her for too long or she has only recently gotten fast, go train with her until her flub is manageable I live, I post, I slay. I am content.
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IIIAsharakIII
GR3Y N0MADS
10
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:32:00 -
[3] - Quote
Hmmm bro thats a tough one.
Maybe tell her you like her that way?
No that one will get you in the doghouse too.
Better just start excersizing some independent reasoning and reassess your ideas of beauty.
Then tell her she's beautiful.....
And bring flowers. |
Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
161
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:33:00 -
[4] - Quote
Next time you are intimate, you gotta be all like "aw **** baby I like your fat ass!" *SLAP*
That way, she won't get offended by your comment since you meant it as a compliment, but will now be self-conscious about the issue enough for it to gnaw at her until she develops an eating disorder. |
Alara IonStorm
RvB - BLUE Republic
564
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:34:00 -
[5] - Quote
Honey I think we should start an exercise program together and cut back on unhealthy foods. It will be good for us.
If that does not work and there seems to be no chance go Nuclear.
Honey I can not stand having sex with you anymore and if you do not try to loose some weight I am gonna dump you and find someone else. Ether that or get a mistress / one night stands / prostitutes and never touch you again. Because honestly I have needs and you just let yourself go. I have worked to keep it so I can look at myself in the mirror and it is not unreasonable to expect the same from you.
If that doesn't work toss the sow like a dirty fast food wrapper and move the hell on there champ. |
Cipher Jones
136
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:35:00 -
[6] - Quote
Tell her you want to have Intercrural sex with her belly button.
See what happens when fat neckbeards try to ride little ponies? The ponies die. |
SkullKid
Not Another One Man Corporation Stainwagon.
2
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:37:00 -
[7] - Quote
You give her a cake, she will tell you that she has a fat ass |
Famble
Three's a Crowd
141
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Posted - 2011.12.07 02:59:00 -
[8] - Quote
Rig the bathroom scale to break next time someone stands on it.
Replace the driver's side springs of her Camry with springs from some miserable little 50 mpg econo-car so when she gets in it for work in the morning it sags terribly.
Shrink a couple pair of her pants a bit.
Fake a back injury next time you carry her somewhere.
This isn't hard champ.
If anyone ever looks at you and says, "Hold my beer, watch this,"-á you're probably going to want to pay attention. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
119
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:03:00 -
[9] - Quote
Alara IonStorm wrote:Honey I think we should start an exercise program together and cut back on unhealthy foods. It will be good for us.
If that does not work and there seems to be no chance go Nuclear.
Honey I can not stand having sex with you anymore and if you do not try to loose some weight I am gonna dump you and find someone else.
That's exactly what I did, then I discovered being single rocks so it's casual sex with no strings attached for me
Also I have my muscles back now as I got my willpower back |
Gogela
Freeport Exploration Loosely Affiliated Pirates Alliance
185
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:04:00 -
[10] - Quote
Comment on the physique of another woman next time you are in the car with your fatty. Mention how "fit" she looks.
The fatty will likely be angry at you, but not offended herself, necessarily. Because she is a fatty, she probably has low self-esteem and will forgive your comment. You can even follow up with an "I'm sorry".
Hopefully now that will be behind you, but sub-consciously the fatty will forever be comparing herself to the woman who you commented on that day in the car. Women never forget. Ever. Your words will haunt her forever and she will ALWAYS think her ass is fat henceforth. Whether or not she does anything about it is anyone's guess... but she'll know. Oh yes... she will always know.
....and if you end up breaking up with her, she'll probably blame herself!
Welp, hope I helped... off to hell for me now...
All GëíGêçGëí Ships | GëíGêçGëí - sñÜpüÅpü«sÑçsªÖpü¬péópéñpâåpâá | <-- Links to ShowInfo in-game
FX7 - No Tax... No Rules... No Problem |
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Lina Alar
Royal Amarr Institute Amarr Empire
18
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:22:00 -
[11] - Quote
"Honey, the jogging pants don't make your butt look big, your butt makes your butt look big."
Seriously, you can't tell her she is fat without offending her. You can, however, invite her to exercise with you, in particular a pair sport like tennis. You're going to have to do the work with her, though.
If she won't join you then you tell her you're honestly worried about her health.
On the downside, if you are a lard butt also, you have no standing to complain about her figure. |
Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
539
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:26:00 -
[12] - Quote
Start Exercising.
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Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
165
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:36:00 -
[13] - Quote
Lina Alar wrote:On the downside, if you are a lard butt also, you have no standing to complain about her figure. Unless you have money. |
Aargolos
Estrale Frontiers Project Wildfire
7
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:38:00 -
[14] - Quote
"You should try this Quafe Zero honey, it takes just like...." |
electrostatus
Center for Advanced Studies Gallente Federation
22
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:55:00 -
[15] - Quote
I can't locate it on youtube, but from the simpsons:
"Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you" PI Profit Calculator: calculates your profits and taxes of any PI product depending on how you built them! |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released HYDRA RELOADED
201
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:56:00 -
[16] - Quote
Dust some flour between her legs and see where the dampness is. Explain to her that if she wasn't so damn fat, you wouldn't need to go to these extremes. I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
Grey Stormshadow
Starwreck Industries
458
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Posted - 2011.12.07 04:16:00 -
[17] - Quote
NickyYo wrote:Without offending her? Buy her a full body mirror - rather narrow one.
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rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
42
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Posted - 2011.12.07 04:37:00 -
[18] - Quote
Lie down next to a cake and when she goes for that dump her and say its her fault. |
Herping yourDerp
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
189
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Posted - 2011.12.07 04:44:00 -
[19] - Quote
tell her she is gaining some weight, but remember sex burns calories so get in there. |
Brock Nelson
76
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Posted - 2011.12.07 04:46:00 -
[20] - Quote
Tell her that you've been going to your chiropractor for the past month for back problems and he has recommended that she needs to leave |
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Serene Repose
Perkone Caldari State
132
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Posted - 2011.12.07 07:21:00 -
[21] - Quote
Girls always keep that pair of jeans they used to look good in. They're always there at the bottom of the pile. You've seen them, and wondered why she's kept them for so long. They're there to remind her that one day "I'll fit into these again."
The question then becomes, "How do I get my GF to fit into her old jeans again?" This is much easier than telling someone they're fat. She obviously knows she's fat or she wouldn't still have that pair of jeans on the shelf. She'd be wearing them and she knows it. Therefore, you don't really need to TELL her she's gotten fat. She knows.
The idea of suddenly being taken by a fit of physical fitness sounds like the best idea. It also covers "we never do anything as a couple." (A couple of what? But, THAT's another story.)
I vote for the "WE'RE gonna exercise" approach. Start out slow, and work your way up. Walk before you run. You get the idea. AND, be ready with those compliments. It's encouraging. But, I'll give you a hint. When the thing is at last up and running at speed, you'll want to quit before she does.
Next thing you know, we'll be answering a post with this title: How can I tell my BF he's lazy without hurting his feelings?
:-)
Smokestack lightnin' shinin' just like gold. |
Zimmy Zeta
Battle Force Industries
144
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Posted - 2011.12.07 08:02:00 -
[22] - Quote
OK, if OP wanted some sane advice, he wouldn't have come here, so I will go along with you and devise you the ultimate plan. You will need some money, though. First thing is take a look at her clothes.. best is to take a photo of every single pant with your mobile phone. With these pictures, go shopping. Buy the same pants she owns, only several sizes smaller and replace them. Next thing is talking to the kids in the neighbourhood. This will come you rather cheap. For a few bucks, they might agree to giggle every time your GF passes them or even make funny faces like blowing up cheeks etc. During all this time it is VERY important that you still comfort her, and tell her that you like her just as she is, and you love every single pound of her. Step three would be to manipulate the scales to show a higher weight as has been mentioned before already. Step four is secretly telling around that she is pregnant, so that people will come up to her and congratulate her. Give her lirne blossom tea every evening before going to bed- this will make her sweat more. Also, place small, hard items under the mattress on her side of the bed- so she will experience increasing back pains.
Last step..if everything before failed (unlikely as it is): talk to her best friend, tell her that she was slagging her off, telling that she thinks she has anorexia and probably takes laxatives and pukes after every meal. If you do it right, her best friend will become infuriated, call her up and tell her that she is a fat b+tch.
Problem solved. -.- |
Alara IonStorm
RvB - BLUE Republic
572
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Posted - 2011.12.07 08:08:00 -
[23] - Quote
The EVE O Forums.
Working to undue the Dove Real Beauty Campaign one post at a time.
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Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
122
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Posted - 2011.12.07 08:13:00 -
[24] - Quote
Alara IonStorm wrote:The EVE O Forums.
Working to undue the Dove Real Beauty Campaign one post at a time.
Look, real beauty doesn't include whales or anything shaped like a hippo |
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CCP Spitfire
C C P C C P Alliance
530
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Posted - 2011.12.07 09:26:00 -
[25] - Quote
Offtopic, thread locked.
CCP Spitfire | Russian Community Coordinator @ccp_spitfire |
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