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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
669
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Posted - 2016.02.22 20:12:05 -
[1] - Quote
News reaches Gutter Press about a number of fist fights that have broken out at an astronomical conference in Yulai !
Pugilism !
The ordinarily routine proceedings of the Intergalactic Astronomical Union, normally discussing astronomical phenomena such as gas clouds, asteroid fields, and comet orbits, were disrupted, when a number of capsuleers rushed the podium !
Disorder !
The capsuleers demanded that the IAU declare the "Thera" system, discovered by the Sisters of Eve, to be "Not a real wormhole", which caused a disturbance when a rival group of capsuleers holding a contrary opinion also rushed the stage, and began engaging in fisticuffs.
Riot !
Other capsuleers indulged in vandalism, spraying "Poitot is the only named system in Syndicate", on the conference room's walls.
Station security were quick to react, with stun gas and shock batons being deployed to restore order.
Beatdown !
Due to the capsuleer status of the perpetrators, no criminal charges will be pressed, as prosecutions would be largely futile.
Gutter Press. News that happens, somewhere.
Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
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Gosakumori Noh
Hematology Advancement Program Of Questionable Repute
748
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Posted - 2016.02.22 20:27:27 -
[2] - Quote
Muck Raker wrote:Other capsuleers indulged in vandalism, spraying "Poitot is the only named system in Syndicate", on the conference room's walls.
Station security were quick to react.
I am skeptical. According to my simulations, a Brutor enforcer should be able to beat a Sebbie vandal senseless with his rod in half the time it takes to spray paint "Poitot is the only named system in Syndicate." I concede that this is in part because few Sebiestor know how to spell "Poitot" without looking it up. I further concede that I am not myself certain that "Poitot" has been spelled correctly. |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1030
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Posted - 2016.02.23 01:14:42 -
[3] - Quote
Gosakumori Noh wrote:Muck Raker wrote:Other capsuleers indulged in vandalism, spraying "Poitot is the only named system in Syndicate", on the conference room's walls.
Station security were quick to react.
I am skeptical. According to my simulations, a Brutor enforcer should be able to beat a Sebbie vandal senseless with his rod in half the time it takes to spray paint "Poitot is the only named system in Syndicate." I concede that this is in part because few Sebiestor know how to spell "Poitot" without looking it up. I further concede that I am not myself certain that "Poitot" has been spelled correctly.
You are confusing Sebiestor vagrants with 'Sebiestor as a whole'. Vagrants and malcontents, Sebiestor or no, generally do not have much education.
Sebiestor capsuleers are expected to be educated enough to know how to spell 'Poitot' if they are already aware of the system's existence. 'Expected' is the key word here.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Johanes Beaumonte
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
91
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Posted - 2016.02.23 01:34:15 -
[4] - Quote
But what did the exotic dancers think of all this? |
Gosakumori Noh
Hematology Advancement Program Of Questionable Repute
748
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Posted - 2016.02.23 02:29:33 -
[5] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:You are confusing Sebiestor vagrants with 'Sebiestor as a whole'. Vagrants and malcontents, Sebiestor or no, generally do not have much education.
I simulate with the Sebbies I have, not the Sebbies I want to have.
Well, no, actually, that isn't quite right. I only have the Sebbies I want. It just happens that my wants are dictated by objective external requirements. My Sebbies must fit very exacting genetic profiles to qualify for lycanthromorphic transmutation. It is true that they are not particularly well educated, all things considered. However, they are bright and energetic creatures of unusual physical attractiveness, giving them entitled, almost spoiled personalities balanced remarkably well on the edge of adorableness.
Many rather like it when the Brutor hit them with rods, but I digress....
The point is that security personnel had plenty of time!
Tangentially, I too would be amused by hooded Amarrians vandalizing an astronomy conference. Amarrians pride themselves on their astronomical (and astrological) acumen. Any "astronomy conference" held outside of Amarrian space is essentially a trade show for cheap Gallente personal telescopes (no offense). But this absolves Amarrians of responsibility. Neither I nor any other serious Amarrian scientist would bother to mock "Patootie." Where? What? Inatook space? Are they still part of the Federation? Why does the Federation care? Just let them go, already. |
James Syagrius
Reclamation Technologies
1201
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Posted - 2016.02.23 02:30:20 -
[6] - Quote
Once again Gutter Press has dared to provide us with the news... no one else dares. ~Smirks~
GÇ£Here also are the heralds of his praise."
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
1323
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Posted - 2016.02.23 06:29:55 -
[7] - Quote
Johanes Beaumonte wrote:But what did the exotic dancers think of all this?
Wrong kind of 'heavenly bodies' to get an exotic dancers opinion, maybe.
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Skyweir Kinnison
Coldhammer Harvest LLC
195
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Posted - 2016.02.23 09:27:44 -
[8] - Quote
This kind of physicist on physicist violence is more common than people think.
Some years ago, I was at a conference on planetary anomalies when an astrologer accidentally wandered in from a neighbouring convention. Apparently, she had not been able to predict the carnage that promptly followed.
Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country.
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Yarosara Ruil
Caldari State
121
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Posted - 2016.02.23 09:57:18 -
[9] - Quote
Isn't the scientific method amazing? |
Ibrahim Tash-Murkon
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
385
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Posted - 2016.02.23 14:24:25 -
[10] - Quote
Astronomers want to see stars so bad they get punched in the head.
"I give you the destiny of Faith, and you will bring its message to every planet of every star in the heavens: Go forth, conquer in my Name, and reclaim that which I have given." - Book of Reclaiming 22:13
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Utari Onzo
Pentag Blade Curatores Veritatis Alliance
956
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Posted - 2016.02.23 15:48:01 -
[11] - Quote
I guess you could say the facts just up and hit them in the face.
....
For the record. Thera is a wormhole.
"Face the enemy as a solid wall
For faith is your armor
And through it, the enemy will find no breach
Wrap your arms around the enemy
For faith is your fire
And with it, burn away his evil"
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Persephone Alleile
Nocx Initiative
105
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Posted - 2016.02.23 19:19:42 -
[12] - Quote
Thera is not a wormhole, it's a star system accessible only through wormholes! How is this so hard to understand? |
Utari Onzo
Pentag Blade Curatores Veritatis Alliance
960
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Posted - 2016.02.23 19:30:21 -
[13] - Quote
Persephone Alleile wrote:Thera is not a wormhole, it's a star system accessible only through wormholes! How is this so hard to understand?
It acts like a wormhole, blocks local routers like a wormhole, and has the sleepers of a wormhole. It must, therefore, be a wormhole. If the new Citadels come along for the rest of Anoikis, every damn system out there is going to be more like Thera. Just without the kindness of open and free docking rights.
"Face the enemy as a solid wall
For faith is your armor
And through it, the enemy will find no breach
Wrap your arms around the enemy
For faith is your fire
And with it, burn away his evil"
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Yarosara Ruil
Caldari State
123
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Posted - 2016.02.23 19:33:54 -
[14] - Quote
J-Space (Wormhole space) is not the same thing as a Wormhole!
Doors aren't houses, silly Mister Onzo! |
Utari Onzo
Pentag Blade Curatores Veritatis Alliance
960
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Posted - 2016.02.23 19:36:03 -
[15] - Quote
Yarosara Ruil wrote:J-Space (Wormhole space) is not the same thing as a Wormhole!
Doors aren't houses, silly Mister Onzo!
Forgive me, you're right.
Corrections. wrote:It acts like a Jay-System, blocks local routers like a Jay-System, and has the sleepers of a Jay-System. It must, therefore, be a Jay-System. If the new Citadels come along for the rest of Anoikis, every damn system out there is going to be more like Thera. Just without the kindness of open and free docking rights.
I think a certain Mr Joringer will be smugly satisfied with that one.
"Face the enemy as a solid wall
For faith is your armor
And through it, the enemy will find no breach
Wrap your arms around the enemy
For faith is your fire
And with it, burn away his evil"
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Jay Joringer
13. Enigma Project
469
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Posted - 2016.02.23 19:38:47 -
[16] - Quote
Utari Onzo wrote:Corrections. wrote:It acts like a Jay-System, blocks local routers like a Jay-System, and has the sleepers of a Jay-System. It must, therefore, be a Jay-System. If the new Citadels come along for the rest of Anoikis, every damn system out there is going to be more like Thera. Just without the kindness of open and free docking rights. I think a certain Mr Joringer will be smugly satisfied with that one.
I have no idea what you are talking about.
http://smug-bastard.blogspot.co.uk
13 are recruiting!
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Persephone Alleile
Nocx Initiative
105
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Posted - 2016.02.23 19:42:30 -
[17] - Quote
Utari Onzo wrote:Persephone Alleile wrote:Thera is not a wormhole, it's a star system accessible only through wormholes! How is this so hard to understand? It acts like a wormhole, blocks local routers like a wormhole, and has the sleepers of a wormhole. It must, therefore, be a wormhole. If the new Citadels come along for the rest of Anoikis, every damn system out there is going to be more like Thera. Just without the kindness of open and free docking rights.
I was mostly just being pedantic for fun (a nasty habit of mine) because the conflation of wormholes and wormhole systems is a personal pet peeve of mine and wasn't planning on starting a conversation but something in your post has caught my attention. Namely, if you think Thera is a place of great kindness I suggest you try undocking a ship there. |
Utari Onzo
Pentag Blade Curatores Veritatis Alliance
960
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Posted - 2016.02.23 19:46:43 -
[18] - Quote
Persephone Alleile wrote:Utari Onzo wrote:Persephone Alleile wrote:Thera is not a wormhole, it's a star system accessible only through wormholes! How is this so hard to understand? It acts like a wormhole, blocks local routers like a wormhole, and has the sleepers of a wormhole. It must, therefore, be a wormhole. If the new Citadels come along for the rest of Anoikis, every damn system out there is going to be more like Thera. Just without the kindness of open and free docking rights. I was mostly just being pedantic for fun (a nasty habit of mine) because the conflation of wormholes and wormhole systems is a personal pet peeve of mine and wasn't planning on starting a conversation but something in your post has caught my attention. Namely, if you think Thera is a place of great kindness I suggest you try undocking a ship there.
Could be worse. I could have to pay for the priviledge of docking and undocking, which was my basic point. These conversations where my words keep getting twisted are so delightful!
"Face the enemy as a solid wall
For faith is your armor
And through it, the enemy will find no breach
Wrap your arms around the enemy
For faith is your fire
And with it, burn away his evil"
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Alysanna Kautsuo
Signal Cartel EvE-Scout Enclave
4
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Posted - 2016.02.25 06:11:50 -
[19] - Quote
Congratulations to Gutter News on another informative, and I'm sure exclusive, story. Thera, I would argue, might be the most fascinating, naturally-occurring wormhole system currently known. It is of little surprise that such conflict exists. I would encourage everyone to visit at some point during their life. At the very least, it is an extremely beautiful system. The Sanctuary went so far as to set up research stations to study the local phenomena.
This unexplored potential (pun intended) is what drew the founders of my alliance, EvE-Scout, to the area. Anyone wishing to visit the system can consult this listing of known connections to Thera, maintained by my employers. Thera is as close to "home" our explorers have, and we want to see more people using it to its full potential. Scientific study, tourism, combat, piracy, trade... we don't much care what you do with our intel, though not shooting at us would be a nice, though improbable, start.
EvE-Scout Enclave Thera Scanning Endeavor
Trust Through Neutrality
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Hibbe
Out of Pod Experience
6
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Posted - 2016.02.25 16:01:52 -
[20] - Quote
Gutter Press best press!
I think it was a Brutor **** stirrer as usual... I'm happy to hear he got a beating! |
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