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Robert Sawyer
Deep Core Mining Inc. Caldari State
113
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Posted - 2016.08.18 07:13:58 -
[1] - Quote
Ah, budget carriers. Unless your father is an arab prince that fills his bath tub with crude oil every night, or your dad is America's #1 plastic surgeon, many of us will have difficulties flying. Or maybe that's just my parents being cheap - a kid like me could never know the truth behind that. So, like a thirsty man shuffling through a barren desert, we stumble upon the oasis of low-budget airlines (it's actually a mirage, there's no pleasant water to drink).
In practice, it sounds almost too good to be true - inter-European tickets for only 20 euros? Yes, please - sign me up! When my parents bought the ticket and didn't listen to my pleas to pay a little bit extra to fly Lufthansa, little did they know that this was the first step in Dark Lord Ryan's plan to ensnare unwary customers and steal their money. So, my mummy helps me to the airport, picking up my girlfriend on the way. This is when the reason communists hate capitalism starts to become very clear.
Looks like I forgot my boarding pass. No big deal, we can just ask the clerk to print it out. Sure, he can do that, for only the small fee of 50 pounds. Having no choice, really, I have to cough up and we finally proceed forward. That is when a clerk tells me that my girl's carry-on needs to be verified by the same guy that let us pass unhindered, and we have to go back. There was a pretty long queue, so I told the man that if we step out now, we lose the flight. I didn't raise any scandal, but we had to go when he threatened me that he will call security and have them "beat my head in".
Of course, we had to pay another fee - 10 euros for the carry-on. And another one - we missed our flight because of Mr. Hard@ss, so we need to buy more tickets. Another 40 euros gone. We spend the day in the airport, and 2 hours after midnight, the flight starts boarding (after 6 hours of delay). The inside looks like one big, screaming, cheap ad. The seats and bins are coated in this yellow plastic that is covered in advertisements for snacks and scratch cards. Wherever I looked, I saw signs demanding that I hand over the 2D version of Her Majesty to the crew. You had to pay for absolutely everything - a glass of water, a napkin, hell, even the toilet cost me money (1 pound). And the seats are terrible - they feel like they're made out of concrete, have no reclining function whatsoever, and for the entire flight you are stuck looking at the terrible yellow plastic that makes your eyes bleed. And on the back of the seat in front of you there is a safety guide printed out there, and you just have to effing stare at it. And all of that because of the lack of SEAT POCKETS!!!
The crew was toxic, too. Remember the water cup that I mentioned? I only got that after 3 hours - I didn't make a huge scandal, but the flight attendant was clearly unfit for her job - rolling her eyes, making annoyed grunts and patronizing me over the intercom (i.e. saying my seat number and telling me in a sarcastic voice that "my water has arrived" or making fun of my accent). That was embarrassing and unnecessary - if I'd wish for somebody to die, it would be that b#tch.
Just don't fly with this bad airliner. It takes the definition of "frugal" to the extreme and charges enormous prices for everything - in the end, you will end up paying more than five times your flight, because these greedy wankers tax you for every little eff-up that you make. DO NOT FLY - I'd rather give my one pound to Lebanese terrorists than to Ryanair (not serious, but just trying to show you how much I hate them).
"And when, at last, the moment is yours, that agony will become your greatest triumph."
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Ralph King-Griffin
Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance
17502
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Posted - 2016.08.18 11:22:29 -
[2] - Quote
well lade daa mister money bags, a seat, staff, a toilet.
you youngins weren't there when O'leary started out with a big Trebuchet to England , you had to pay extra if you wanted it aimed broadly in the direction of london , extra again for a landing pad , extra again for enough padding to survive the landing.
=]|[=
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Xtreem
Knockaround Guys Inc. Sin City Coalition
456
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Posted - 2016.08.18 11:51:57 -
[3] - Quote
they are not well known for being a good company, I don't think I have even heard anyone say something good about them! |
Kala Azur
Royal Amarr Institute Amarr Empire
19
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Posted - 2016.08.18 13:46:20 -
[4] - Quote
Ryanair is barely a step up from being packed in a sardine tin and slingshot in the broad direction of your destination. |
Gneeznow
Ship spinners inc
148
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Posted - 2016.08.18 16:30:47 -
[5] - Quote
I flew with them a bunch of times, they're terrible but they get you there. They don't obey speed limits and coming in to land they pretty much drop from the sky so your stomach is in your mouth, and back in the day when Cork airport didn't have a proper terminal they would land and make you run across the runway to the terminal while chucking your bags at you before another plane landed and killed you all. Good times. |
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
4606
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Posted - 2016.08.19 04:52:56 -
[6] - Quote
The "beat your head in" part was a new dimension for me. Sounds like a bouncer for The Stranglers. That could never happen here in the U.S., they'd get sued for that. Equivalent budget airline trip here is the cabin attendants pay no notice about the cattle going through the chute, hustling spots to put their carry-ons, and seating themselves. It's all good, if you don't cause trouble and get informed by a cabin attendant about "Sir, I am pregnant, I cannot lift anything or open anything." If that happens, yer pretty much screwed. Not only got your own wife, kids, and baggage to deal with, but a needy expectant cabin attendant too.
Start the bubble machine!
-Lawrence Welk
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Jacques d'Orleans
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
2816
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Posted - 2016.08.19 07:08:47 -
[7] - Quote
Gneeznow wrote:I flew with them a bunch of times, they're terrible but they get you there.
Yeah, that's true, but I still would rather choose a flight with a C-130 if I had the choice to do so.
The beginning of the End
Never drink anything that only gets a lukewarm recommendation from an Australian infantryman!
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baltec1
Bat Country Pandemic Legion
17965
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Posted - 2016.08.20 11:51:09 -
[8] - Quote
They went ahead with the -ú1 toilet charge? I thought they dropped the idea... |
Nerath Naaris
Pink Winged Unicorns for Peace Love and Anarchy
1069
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Posted - 2016.08.21 12:47:51 -
[9] - Quote
Don-¦t ever drink water that is not out of a bottle on an airplane! According to people in the know those water containers hardly ever get cleaned and I doubt this gets better for a budget airline. Also don-¦t ever even touch that plastic tray in front of you, they at best get some rudimentary swipe which likely will NOT entirely remove whatever substances passengers before you - or their children that got their diapers changed on exactly that tray - left there.
Now with DAILY add-ons!
Je suis Paris // Je suis Köln // Je suis Brüssel // Je suis Orlando // Je suis Nice // Je suis Würzburg, München, Ansbach // Je suis Saint-Étienne-du-Rouvray
Je suis [?]
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Vortexo VonBrenner
Raumfahrer Spiff Rakett Piloot Anslutning
2436
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Posted - 2016.08.24 08:59:21 -
[10] - Quote
builds character
EvE security zones in pictures
EvE quick reference pdf
A wise man sums up EvE
Smoke me a Kipper...
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Toobo
Project Fruit House Solyaris Chtonium
77
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Posted - 2016.08.25 12:47:43 -
[11] - Quote
But these flights are perfect for people like me. I tend to prepare myself to sleep on a flight, e.g. Sleeping pills, (prescription) tranquilisers, staying up all night the night before, etc. Basically what happens is as soon as I get on my seat I fall asleep (usually before the plane even starts moving), and I wake up only when I arrive, usually only because flight attendant has to shake me to wake me up.
I don't need water, loo, meals, or anything. Basically I'm like in coma during the whole flight, so these budget airlines suit me perfectly lol
I do fly with decent airlines for work or for holiday with my family, but I used to fly around a lot before and when I fly alone I always bought the cheapest possible flights heh.
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Nana Skalski
Poseidaon
14826
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Posted - 2016.08.25 13:41:01 -
[12] - Quote
They should have put Toobo prescription on every flight card.
Every part of a game helps to tell a story. =ƒôò
Where is Angry CONCORD guy when you need him.
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