Federal Defense Union
|Posted - 2016.11.01 09:46:37 -
 - Quote
A 40 something year old MGBGT.
Badly built by a disinterested workforce during an economic disaster, rusts at a speed where I lie in bed at night listening to fizzing sounds as it rusts on the driveway outside. It also suffers from a split bonus - it has two back seats, which are functionally useless unless the passengers are 3 foot tall and have no legs. Even then they don't get seat belts. Its also very slow, but everyone knows that driving old slow cars fast around racetracks is far better than driving fast cars fast around racetracks. Who needs power steering eh...
In the last three months:
Tappet cover casket failed covering the drive in oil- to replace this 45 pence part you need to remover the carbs and the exhaust manifold.
Heater by pass valve blew - The heater by pass valve takes hot water from the block to the heater matrix. It is placed directly over the distributor. If it fails it pours water all over the distributor resulting in a spectacular loss of forward motion.
Choke cable fell off the throttle assembly.
Thermostat plug shattered - resulting in a spectacular overheating, on a busy motorway and the blow warped the alloy cover so that needs replacing now.
I do love it though...
New front wing.
Weld up the inner wing
Replace rusted rear hatch.
Bypass instrument dial rheostat, hopefully illuminating speedo and tach so I can see what speed I am going at night.
Fit fuel pump cut out switch
Fit battery isolater
Plumb in fire extinguisher
Try to resist putting a rover V8 in it.
Minmatar is all about pieces-of-shite-rustbuckets that somehow overperform. In fact, the rustbuckets somehow perform more reliably and just as good as all the shiny other faction vehicles sharing the same highway, if not better.
Therefore, to make it a true Minmatar vehicle, you must definitely put a Rover V8 in it.
After all, what is a Typhoon if not a pile of rusted plates and scrap metal welded together with oversized engines and thrusters bolted on and torpedo launchers and drone bays duct-taped onto her? And is somehow better at Torpedos compared to Ravens.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.