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Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
2767
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Posted - 2016.12.26 23:33:51 -
[1] - Quote
As some of you know, I recently got irked with Nauplius' insistence on creepily stalking women and speculating about their bodies. I threatened to smack him with a rolled-up datasheet, in the manner of an errant slaver hound, if he didn't stop.
He didn't stop.
So, irritated, I told him publicly that I was en route to Fovihi to his Grand Temple of the Red God in order to deliver the smack. At first, he refused to show up. He suggested I come to Rama. I told him I would not give him any excuses to run away, and this was going to happen in his hangar, on his citadel, with his security present. After some mockery on the part of third parties (Honorable third parties, no doubt) he agreed. I took a travelceptor to the immediate area, and acquired a shuttle for the final docking, so he wouldn't have to worry about autocannons in the hangar.
I've now been asked to make the external security feed from the shuttle available.
The Footage wrote: **STATIC** **The interior of a standard hangar bay on an Astrahus citadel comes into view, moving slightly as the shuttle makes its final trim adjustments and settles on its landing gear.**
Nauplius grunts.
Arrendis disembarks from the baseliner shuttle and comes into the hangar, looking more or less exactly the same as ever. Knee-length t-shirt, no visible foot- or leg-wear... and a rolled up datasheet.
Nauplius waves over a guard to perform an inspection for weapons.
Arrendis sighs as the guard comes over to inspect her. "Would it make you feel better to have me strip-searched?"
Nauplius grunts as the guard waves a scanner around. He approaches as the guard departs.
Arrendis holds up the datasheet as the guard does his thing, and when he's finished, starts toward Nauplius as well. "Just this. Wanna inspect it, too?"
Nauplius responds, "Very well, yes."
She sighs, and hands over the datasheet. Three pages thick, rolled up, nothing in it. The information appears to be market data on shield boosters.
Nauplius gives it a look, and then hands it back, and prepares himself.
Arrendis looks around. "I have to say, I'm actually surprised at you."
"I'd offer a tour of the ritual areas; however, I am a bit pressed for time at the moment," he replies, "I want to spread around knowledge of the Red God. Even unto the Minmatar, that they may learn of their destruction."
The Sebiestor nods, "I can imagine, still..." She whips around and brings the datasheet across his face hard enough to actually hurt before dropping it with a shrug. "I actually expected you'd let me get this far..."
Nauplius grunts and rubs his cheek a bit.
"Then when I go to leave," she continues, "the guards pop out to detain me. Can't really threaten one of us with death... but a few decades of brutal torture? Anyway. Stop being creepy." With that, she turns to go. She's only halfway to the shuttle's boarding ramp when he shouts out to her.
"I shall continue my creepyness, madam!"
Arrendis stops, and starts back toward him... well, toward the datasheet, actually, and bends down to pick it up.
Nauplius continues as she approaches, "Now please leave this holy place."
She doesn't respond to that 'request' right away. Instead, she pauses for a moment as if considering. Then, she delivers a savage backhand with the datasheet, harder than before. "I did tell you I'd smack you again if you gave me reason to do it."
"Enough." He points to the exit. "So much wrath you heap up for yourself in God's mighty storehouse of Wrath!"
"Mmmhm." She drops the datasheet again and once more starts for the shuttle. "Do yourself a favor and don't give me a reason to turn around again."
Nauplius grunts and waves.
The mics pick up the sound of the shuttle's loading doors closing with a dull boom, and the feed ends.
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Ayallah
Sniggerdly Pandemic Legion
682
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Posted - 2016.12.27 01:33:19 -
[2] - Quote
Meet me like you met her Nauplius.
I promise I will not bring a datasheet.
As strength goes.
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Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
2228
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Posted - 2016.12.27 02:07:48 -
[3] - Quote
I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good...
A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
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Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1812
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Posted - 2016.12.27 02:24:20 -
[4] - Quote
The datasheet's paper, isn't it? Pretty old-fashion of you.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Merchant Rova
Pathway to the Next
163
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Posted - 2016.12.27 03:53:42 -
[5] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1812
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:00:37 -
[6] - Quote
Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro.
At that range? Yes. But I say autocannons are better. They are infernally loud, which will cause many burst eardrums. They shred through the superstructure, leaving behind twisted metal that would be a safety hazard for anyone having to walk through the area to do repairs. The expended ammo casings leave collateral damage and even more mess for the repair crew to deal with. Then there are the wonderful secondary effects of the shells lobbed into the superstructure (massive puddles of melted metal via Fusion or Phased Plasma, fried electronics via EMP, multiple deck breaches via Titanium Sabot, shrapnel via Depleted Uranium).
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
2773
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:03:08 -
[7] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:The datasheet's paper, isn't it? Pretty old-fashion of you.
It was actually a fiber lattice, but... basically, not very different from processed wood pulp, yes. |
Merchant Rova
Pathway to the Next
163
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:09:38 -
[8] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. At that range? Yes. But I say autocannons are better. They are infernally loud, which will cause many burst eardrums. They shred through the superstructure, leaving behind twisted metal that would be a safety hazard for anyone having to walk through the area to do repairs. The expended ammo casings leave collateral damage and even more mess for the repair crew to deal with. Then there are the wonderful secondary effects of the shells lobbed into the superstructure (massive puddles of melted metal via Fusion or Phased Plasma, fried electronics via EMP, multiple deck breaches via Titanium Sabot, shrapnel via Depleted Uranium). Bro, you're literally launching antimatter at someone, how isn't that just the coolest? |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1812
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:10:50 -
[9] - Quote
Arrendis wrote:Elmund Egivand wrote:The datasheet's paper, isn't it? Pretty old-fashion of you. It was actually a fiber lattice, but... basically, not very different from processed wood pulp, yes.
I haven't written on paper or paper-like material for ages now. The only other person, besides yourself, whom I know who writes on paper-like material is currently busying herself with biotechnology in the next room.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1812
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:12:36 -
[10] - Quote
Merchant Rova wrote:Elmund Egivand wrote:Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. At that range? Yes. But I say autocannons are better. They are infernally loud, which will cause many burst eardrums. They shred through the superstructure, leaving behind twisted metal that would be a safety hazard for anyone having to walk through the area to do repairs. The expended ammo casings leave collateral damage and even more mess for the repair crew to deal with. Then there are the wonderful secondary effects of the shells lobbed into the superstructure (massive puddles of melted metal via Fusion or Phased Plasma, fried electronics via EMP, multiple deck breaches via Titanium Sabot, shrapnel via Depleted Uranium). Bro, you're literally launching antimatter at someone, how isn't that just the coolest?
But they aren't as annoying to the hangar manager.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
2228
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:15:40 -
[11] - Quote
Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. You assume I want to get that close?
A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
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Merchant Rova
Pathway to the Next
163
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:18:46 -
[12] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:You assume I want to get that close? You know I do. |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1812
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:21:25 -
[13] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. You assume I want to get that close?
You are *inside* the docking bay though. Everything is within reach of blasters. You can go ahead and launch the drones to wreck more shite if you want.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
2773
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Posted - 2016.12.27 04:25:15 -
[14] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:I haven't written on paper or paper-like material for ages now. The only other person, besides yourself, whom I know who writes on paper-like material is currently busying herself with biotechnology in the next room.
Oh, I don't write on it. I printed it out so I could smack him. |
Pieter Tuulinen
Tyrathlion Interstellar Rote Kapelle
6975
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Posted - 2016.12.27 06:18:51 -
[15] - Quote
Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro.
Blasters are a random weapon, lacking artistry.
Railguns are far more precise.
For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead
in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a
hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.
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Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
2776
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Posted - 2016.12.27 07:16:31 -
[16] - Quote
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Blasters are a random weapon, lacking artistry.
I would just like to say that my data sheet was a very elegant weapon, and not as clumsy or random as a blaster.
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John Revenent
Revenent Defence Corperation 404 Alliance Not Found
546
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Posted - 2016.12.27 07:54:38 -
[17] - Quote
Idiotic. To be expected on the IGS these days.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
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Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1812
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Posted - 2016.12.27 08:22:32 -
[18] - Quote
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. Blasters are a random weapon, lacking artistry. Railguns are far more precise.
If one has to aim carefully for wanton destructive rampage, can it really be called wanton destructive rampage?
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Tamiroth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
359
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Posted - 2016.12.27 09:50:17 -
[19] - Quote
This is just extremely weird on too many levels at once. |
Yarosara Ruil
Haighare Pirates
801
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Posted - 2016.12.27 11:07:24 -
[20] - Quote
Mister Nauplius is like that weird uncle nobody wants to talk to!
So that's why he wanted me to wear that Eternity suit. |
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
1883
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Posted - 2016.12.27 14:18:17 -
[21] - Quote
Well, there's something you don't see every day.
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
2228
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Posted - 2016.12.27 15:10:46 -
[22] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. Blasters are a random weapon, lacking artistry. Railguns are far more precise. If one has to aim carefully for wanton destructive rampage, can it really be called wanton destructive rampage? Or one could just unload their entire magazine into the hanger without concern for careful aim.... multiple times.
A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
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Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1815
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Posted - 2016.12.27 15:17:40 -
[23] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:Elmund Egivand wrote:Pieter Tuulinen wrote:Merchant Rova wrote:Claudia Osyn wrote:I would like to unload my rail guns into that bay, but alas, it wouldn't do any good... Using railguns? Tisk tisk. Blasters are better, bro. Blasters are a random weapon, lacking artistry. Railguns are far more precise. If one has to aim carefully for wanton destructive rampage, can it really be called wanton destructive rampage? Or one could just unload their entire magazine into the hanger without concern for careful aim.... multiple times.
Not nearly fast and messy enough. It just punches neat holes through the superstructure only to blow up into clouds of plasma somewhere.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
1701
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Posted - 2016.12.27 15:40:11 -
[24] - Quote
Three words, Rage. Nova. Rockets. Close range, big target, would be in the docking bay so shields wouldn't be much of a problem. |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
1815
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Posted - 2016.12.27 15:42:03 -
[25] - Quote
Deitra Vess wrote:Three words, Rage. Nova. Rockets. Close range, big target, would be in the docking bay so shields wouldn't be much of a problem.
As much as I love rage rockets, heavy assault missiles and torpedoes, I still think 'piercing then explode into a fusion blast' is much messier and far more of a pain to clean up.
A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
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Natheniel
Mostly Sober The Bastard Cartel
116
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Posted - 2016.12.27 15:47:37 -
[26] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:Deitra Vess wrote:Three words, Rage. Nova. Rockets. Close range, big target, would be in the docking bay so shields wouldn't be much of a problem. As much as I love rage rockets, heavy assault missiles and torpedoes, I still think 'piercing then explode into a fusion blast' is much messier and far more of a pain to clean up.
And Yet its quite a pretty thing to see when it goes off.
"Life is as a storm, one must be prepared for the hardship and scorn. But with in this is a light, one for which we must fight. For hope is our weapon and our dreams are our shield. When fully armed we can not be felled from the field."
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Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
1701
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Posted - 2016.12.27 17:02:30 -
[27] - Quote
I have to agree with both of you.... |
Arrendis
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
2785
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Posted - 2016.12.27 17:17:05 -
[28] - Quote
You guys remember he could see what I was flying, right? There's a reason he denied docking to my interceptor. While I certainly don't disagree with any of the weapons analysis going on, he wasn't going to let me in with anything I could use to mess u the hangar like that. |
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
2806
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Posted - 2016.12.27 17:29:27 -
[29] - Quote
Arrendis wrote:You guys remember he could see what I was flying, right? There's a reason he denied docking to my interceptor. While I certainly don't disagree with any of the weapons analysis going on, he wasn't going to let me in with anything I could use to mess u the hangar like that. Hee.
Yeah, people reacted a little like this when I met with him: "Why didn't you kill him?"
My answer then is the same as it is now: "It wouldn't have done any good." |
Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
889
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Posted - 2016.12.27 17:33:26 -
[30] - Quote
Aria Jenneth wrote:Arrendis wrote:You guys remember he could see what I was flying, right? There's a reason he denied docking to my interceptor. While I certainly don't disagree with any of the weapons analysis going on, he wasn't going to let me in with anything I could use to mess u the hangar like that. Hee. Yeah, people reacted a little like this when I met with him: "Why didn't you kill him?" My answer then is the same as it is now: "It wouldn't have done any good." Not disagreeing with you on the "it wouldn't do any good" bit, but you could have left an old school nuke behind... I mean, the shuttle does have a cargo hold, and you can remote active the thing.
I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
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