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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.17 04:57:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Omber Zombie on 17/02/2004 05:06:01
- Do you name your drones and cry when they get blown up?
- Do you feel the pain of the asteroids and actively seek to comfort them through song?
- Are you a man trapped in the body of a woman who thinks they are a woman trapped in the body of a man?
- Do you speak in wierd languages (no Icelandic doesn't count) and continually compose your messages as poetry?
If you answered yes (or even just thought about answering yes) to any of the above questions, or if you suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Mad Scientist Disease (not to be confused with Mad Cow Disease - which is also ok in our books), or just consider yourself insane - we might be what you have been looking for
Yes, The Jovian Strain Labs [NUTS] is looking for some hard working gophers to expand our ever growing research and development corporation. We offer a wonderful medical benefits scheme (Omber Zombie gets to play with your clone while it's not in use), some awesome corp mates (except vyperpit, she's a moody *****), and a lifetime supply of industrial grade drugs.
What Are we looking for? We have multiple positions open in our research, hauling, and combat divisions and all experienced pilots are welcome to apply.
Application Process Please send an evemail to our corp recruiters Vyperpit, Omber Zombie, or Major Domani and they will contact you for further information. However be prepared, we may send in a ***** commando team into your pod to abduct you if we feel like interrogating someone (hey, it's fun), or we may just send telepathic commands into your brain and read your mind (nah, we can't really do that, but it would be cool if we could)
/OOC The Jovian Strain [NUTS] is a roleplaying corporation and a member of the Fountain Alliance. We don't require you to actively roleplay in game, but it would be nice. Please do not apply if you are a corp thief/scammer, or just interested in getting gear - we have no corp hangers for you to loot, and no corp wallet for you to steal. Do not just apply to the corp without notifying us first - we will reject you. Entertaining or funny Bio's will gain points towards getting you into the corp - CCP gave us the ability to be funny - so do so :)
We have a very loose corp structure - i.e. do what ever you like as long as it doesn't start a war or **** off our allies, and the corp won't ask you for anything (unless absolutely needed), everything you own is yours, but we do have a few corp prints for things that you may want built. Corp members can do things with other corp members, but you will not be required to do x amount of this, or spend x hours doing things - effectively we are freelancers with some shared goals and insane minds.
Please note, some contents of our corp discusisons are adult in nature and if you are easily offended or a minor, it is probably best you don't read it. ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Lianhaun
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Posted - 2004.02.17 09:17:00 -
[2]
you guys rock, although sometimes you freak me out as well
concider it a compliment though
This is not a hijack
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Miso
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Posted - 2004.02.17 09:27:00 -
[3]
I am soooo tempted to join you guys when I return... but I can't. But you're my reserve choice.
For Mad Scientists
Insane in the membrane
Miso x
-------------------------------------------- Dead
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.17 10:10:00 -
[4]
thanks lian
and miso, you are always welcome :)
as for "Insane in the membrane" I lasted about 10 seconds ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Judicator
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Posted - 2004.02.17 11:59:00 -
[5]
I'm rather tempted too. -------------------------
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Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.02.17 13:32:00 -
[6]
damn, im legally insane!!!
"We brake for nobody"
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.18 03:19:00 -
[7]
I always knew it Iceblock, there was no other explanation
As for some questions I have been asked:
How big are you? Well, I don't like to brag but... Oh, the corp, well I'd classify us as pretty small to small in member count, but 90% of the members are active every day.
What Timezone's do you play in? Most of the corp are UK/Europe based, tho we do have an aussie (me), and 1 or 2 peeps from canada/us (can't remember where exactly). Someone is usually on at any given time, and the overlaps in timezones mean we do get entire corp get-togethers happening every so often.
What Do I get for joining? Part of the initiation is to spend an hour in the hot tub with Vyperpit - if that's not a joining bonus, I don't know what is. Otherwise - nothing other than the company of like minded lunatics (is that possible?), and lovely sig made by vyperpit.
Do you use Teamspeak/Ventrillo? yes, we have a teamspeak server, but it's mostly used to tell dirty jokes and abuse one another.
Any more questions? ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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LLeBRing
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Posted - 2004.02.18 03:37:00 -
[8]
rofl, this is by far the best recruitment piece I have ever set my eyes on. Goodluck in the future and the recruitment process
lol.. oh gods that was some funny stuff :)
Nuttin but corn bread en chicken for this fella |
nails
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Posted - 2004.02.18 04:17:00 -
[9]
Wouldn't it be easier to just call it Futanari Corp? ------------------
http://ota-corps.otaku.jp -- Anime l33t level
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.18 04:41:00 -
[10]
Edited by: Omber Zombie on 18/02/2004 04:45:14 cheers LLeBRing, glad you like it.
And nails.. Futanari? I don't think we are hermaphrodites... At least I know I'm not ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Ly'sol
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Posted - 2004.02.18 05:47:00 -
[11]
Omber,
We need more fun corps like this...
Hmmm..Your insaneity training....nah must be seeing things. -------------------------- Vist the Jericho Fraction Forums
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Inoculator
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Posted - 2004.02.18 14:36:00 -
[12]
Come hither and join our merry family, to roll around in warm pancakes. Reality is a staircase leading nowhere. shake shake shake shake shake dog shake. ---------------------------------------------
Insanity Level Help! For I am one with the Strain. my feeble grin drips like a blood-streak down my chin. As the flesh ripped from my hand i knew pain heads, tails, flip o' the coin. |
Maud Dib
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Posted - 2004.02.18 15:17:00 -
[13]
Quote: I am soooo tempted to join you guys when I return... but I can't. But you're my reserve choice.
For Mad Scientists
Insane in the membrane
Miso x
Miso get back to work. Beside you know they are our shadow corp.
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Miso
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Posted - 2004.02.18 15:36:00 -
[14]
Show me your NUTS Maud. -------------------------------------------- Dead
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.18 17:08:00 -
[15]
Quote: Miso get back to work. Beside you know they are our shadow corp
Shadow corp? not bloody likely. maybe the little intellectually disabled brother sitting in the corner, but definately not a shadow. ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Maud Dib
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Posted - 2004.02.18 17:14:00 -
[16]
Quote: Show me your NUTS Maud.
Sorry only Lianhaun gets to see them now.
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vyperpit
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Posted - 2004.02.18 18:04:00 -
[17]
Quote:
What Do I get for joining? Part of the initiation is to spend an hour in the hot tub with Vyperpit - if that's not a joining bonus, I don't know what is. Otherwise - nothing other than the company of like minded lunatics (is that possible?), and lovely sig made by vyperpit.
Oh really well nice for you to let me know omber. well althouh i am used to you using me i will spend my utmost time trying to make you welcome.
the hot tub is used all the time but i do warn you never to use it after omber zombie the amount of dirt that man can clean off him self every night is just scary. it takes 4 hour just to clean the tub after him. well that is what you get from somone who hugs roids all day long oh well.
/emote wonders off to get a brilo pad to start cleaning. ----
Fair Fighting Quote stolen from Waagaa Ktlehr who borrowed it from ??? "If you end up in a fair fight, you planned it wrong." (Ehm yeah, or CCP ****ed with the scanner again..) |
Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.19 02:39:00 -
[18]
More Questions that have Been Asked (TM)
I'd like to join your corp to steal everything from your corp hanger - is that ok? Well, if you bothered to read everything in my original post you will notice that I specifically said we have nothing to steal - why would I lie to you?
I'm a homicidal maniac that wants to kill all things that are not like me - is that ok? Ummm, no. If you feel the urge to slaughter aimlessly, we have space mice that can be used to shoot out of our hybrid cannons. It usually satisfies the homicidal tendancies.
1M 4N UB3R PIR43T 1 WANT 2 PWN U & UR FR31NDS SO C4N I JOIN UR CORP 2 DO IT SO T4HT CONCORD DO3SNT K1K M4H 455?!!?? errr - well it is in a wierd language, not sure it's poetry tho... ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.20 18:37:00 -
[19]
I'd like to thank the few people that have applied so far, it's been entertaining. Recruitment is still open and we have a new entrance exam, so get studying.
NUTS Entrance Exam:
1. 10 lines of freeform poetry - subject of poetry will be announced at time of exam.
2. Please sing the 1st verse of "She's Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts"
3. Answer the following questions: a: If you were a fruit, what would you be? explain b: If a shuttle travelling at 600m/s left Yulai heading towards Aurohunen at 9am and a megathron with 2xmwd's left Luminaire heading towards Aurohunen at 9:20am, which one of the two ships would be ganked by Tank CEO first? c: If she sells sea shells by the sea shore, does that mean she is a corp thief who stole from Beach Inc. [BeInc]?
----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Charity Regard
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Posted - 2004.02.20 20:14:00 -
[20]
You have no idea how much you make me smile OZ.
xoxo
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Foomanshoe
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Posted - 2004.02.21 00:09:00 -
[21]
You smell of gollondor the unmanned... Bastard.
I am not so sane as to join the likes of you! Nuttars!
Har arg!
_______________________________________________
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.21 06:22:00 -
[22]
Foo, I think you really need to come by the labs.
Charity - I'm glad I can make you smile :) ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Propehcy
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Posted - 2004.02.21 09:32:00 -
[23]
Hark!
Quote: The Jovian Strain Labs [NUTS]
so... how do you get N-U-T-S out of The Jovian Strain labs... shouldnt it be JSL or, TJSL?
Btw, i'm insane, didnt even think of smiling
Also, what happend to your last corp OZ? :), free omber roids getting to tough?
Prophecy ** Ex-CA Rep and Ex-CA Member **
http://www.designegrafix.com/eve/prop5.jpg
Props Chop Shop: Ships, Arms, and Armaments producer for Northern Eve! Located at Torrinos 5 - 6 - Home Guard Assembley.
The Prop And Notferr Chronicles
Notferr> Propehcy Owns me! Yet I feel so much Fear in his Evil Presence! Propehcy> Bow Down, You know who your Master is. Notferr> Only Prop is King!! Only Prop!! I Am nothing! Propehcy> I think Stav would be Proud.
Propehcy> I Need a Tool... Where is that Notferr...
[ 2004.09.11 28:63:98 ] Propehcy 2004.09.11 29:05:33.3 combat Your Miner II perfectly strikes Notferr, wrecking for WTFPWNAGE. |
Inoculator
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Posted - 2004.02.21 10:58:00 -
[24]
Ode to Omber, Master and Supreme NUTS of the casket.
Is this [NUTS], that I'm feeling? I bask in your glory o Omber. sometimes his touch makes my stomache sing, It's a damn good thing I wasnt sober.
But a listenable rhyme contributes a smile, Or sever the knot while drowning in gin. and Amarr space is a lonely place, full of drug rats and imbeciles, he was [NUTS] to have fought with no sin.
All hail to you Omber, God of Drook, King of the Dipsticks, your drugs contaminates my soul. i didn't inhale the firey rubber! slow burning disease that shrouds my goals. ---------------------------------------------
Insanity Level Help! For I am one with the Strain. my feeble grin drips like a blood-streak down my chin. As the flesh ripped from my hand i knew pain heads, tails, flip o' the coin. |
Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.21 14:32:00 -
[25]
Ahh prophecy, I was wondering why you hadn't posted here yet.
Quote: so... how do you get N-U-T-S out of The Jovian Strain labs... shouldnt it be JSL or, TJSL?
Why? NUTS is far more interesting.
Quote: Also, what happend to your last corp OZ? :), free omber roids getting to tough?
Umm proph, I left CME 5 months ago.
Anyway thank you inoc for that stirring ode, and to everyone else, now you know what I deal with on a daily basis ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.23 17:08:00 -
[26]
arrrggh, vyper blew up my lab, so we need more hired goons, err, corp members to help rebuild. Please contact us if you wish to be one (or if you want to donate another person to us for scientific research) :) ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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vyperpit
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Posted - 2004.02.24 12:17:00 -
[27]
Quote: vyper blew up my lab
And you make it all seem like you had nothing to do with this MR. the fact you left me for that tart Charity Regard has nothing to do with it.
/emote calms down
yes well if you want to join this friendly and caring corp then don't speak to omber speak to me. i won't rip your heart out and leave you screaming i will anwser you when you ask for help. I will be there for you and give you tender luving care.
and i will be that sholder to cry on when omber abuses his power and corrupts your clone.
/ooc come join us we want you all, we are one big angry family and we do all get along even if i have to make you like us :P
----
Fair Fighting Quote stolen from Waagaa Ktlehr who borrowed it from ??? "If you end up in a fair fight, you planned it wrong." (Ehm yeah, or CCP ****ed with the scanner again..) |
Miso
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Posted - 2004.02.24 12:24:00 -
[28]
Vyperpit is without doubt the sexiest little creature I've met so far. I've come over all hot and bothered now.
Anyway, enough of such musings... how is recruitment going? (See, I can post on topic) -------------------------------------------- Dead
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.02.24 13:11:00 -
[29]
Quote: and i will be that sholder to cry on when omber abuses his power and corrupts your clone
mmuuuwhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa
Oh ,sorry.
Miso, the recruitment is a little slow, we have plenty of people applying, not many of them are suitable tho. If you wished to join our merry band of misfits I'm sure you wouldn't have to fill out our entrance exam, but I think vyper may want to initiate you. ----------- "Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!" Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Maud Dib
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Posted - 2004.02.24 13:50:00 -
[30]
Quote:
Quote: vyper blew up my lab
And you make it all seem like you had nothing to do with this MR. the fact you left me for that tart Charity Regard has nothing to do with it.
/emote calms down
yes well if you want to join this friendly and caring corp then don't speak to omber speak to me. i won't rip your heart out and leave you screaming i will anwser you when you ask for help. I will be there for you and give you tender luving care.
and i will be that sholder to cry on when omber abuses his power and corrupts your clone.
/ooc come join us we want you all, we are one big angry family and we do all get along even if i have to make you like us :P
You could come join Jericho vyper. We are also crazy but we don't mess up your clone.
PS This is not a pass, flirt or an attempt to pull. PPS That last bit was added to keep my eyes from getting poked out.
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