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Le Skunk
Low Sec Liberators
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Posted - 2008.04.10 21:53:00 -
[1]
So, im sat spinning my ship, perfecting the double twist underhand zoom technique. And TS sparks into life.
"150 dudes incoming - one system out - dock up quick" 150 man fleet coming in!!!
I couldnt believe it....
I Couldnt believe not ONE of them buggers had paid me the toll for coming through system
This wasnt on. 150 freeloaders in my system. A stand had to be made. Wives were kissed goodbye. Small children were patted on the head. P0rno stashes were burned. Wills were written. Undocks were clicked.
I undocked in my hyperion "the nerd or herd". Little did I know when I named it many months ago that its name was prophetic. One nerd (me) vs a Herd of enemys (them). Thinking back to the time i named it, I vaguely remember entering a trance state as soon as i clicked the rename button - perhaps I was tranpsorted to a hellish future when 150 man fleets blobs ruled eve - and were allowed to roam freely with nobody stopping them. Perhaps it was fates way of telling me to make a stand.
But I digress. Where was I.... oh yes.. the "nerd or herd"
A ship responsible for around 200 suprise poddings. Fit with shiny T2 smartbombs I invented myself. I crafted them smartbombs with me bare hands. I caressed their bulges lovingly, and I am not afraid to admit I found myself turned on.
Imminent death and homemade smartbombs are a potent aphrodisical mix for a young man.
"noobmercs, its the noobmercs, lots of frigates..."
nice
"cruisers, battleships"
not so nice. I clicked warp
"oh and REPO industrys are with them in all sorts of ships"
I was shocked. Repo with the noobs? What an unholy alliance. Surely there had never been such a mix of quality pilots and noobs since RA and Goonswarm allied.
Then I remembered that their latest war dec was against the Goons, in response to their policy of annhilating poor innocent miners in highsec (shame on them) with a Jihadic sucide gank campaign. REPO had been contracted for some time previous to attack the goons. It seemed some sort of co-operation had been formed.
I landed on the gate. Just as the enemy were landing. I tried desperatly to manouver into position. More enemy landed and locked me up. Would I die an ignominous death without firing a shot in anger?
I squeeked out of range of the gate and initiated the smartbomb cycles. Most of the enemy were already out of range. My window for total carnage had been missed.
If only I hadnt patted them small children on the head before undocking.
Hammered by the REPO and Noobmerc Battleships. I soon went down. I spammed warp out as I was dieing. My client hung. I relogged - fearing the worst.
Relief my bounty was still on my head. My pod wasnt yet crushed. Blackscreened, I wondered if they had it scrammed and webbed but were not shooting in some sadistic game. But they hadnt
I logged back In to see that an equaly enraged fellow peace keeper - USA4 had warped in on a sucide mission in his raven. Had his sudden appearance and subsequent hail of FOF missiles been the distraction which saved my pod? One can only guess. I think perhaps it migh
I docked and checked my kill mails.
Fully two frigates succumed to my smartbombs. And one too my collegue USA4's raven.
We lost - 1 Hyperion, 1 Raven. They lost - 1 Incursus, 1 Kestral, 1 Sentinel.
Consulting my book "100 ways to claim victory" I noted that we had killed more ships then them. So I claimed victory.
The moral of this tale. Well. I like to think perhaps some might find it an inspiration. An inspiration for the little man - making a stand against blobs. An inspiration for those few romantics left in the game - who arnt afriad to put it all on the line for what you belive in. And I belive... oh yes i believe.
I belive eveyone who passes thorugh my system should be paying the bloody toll!!
I havent podded 700 people for fun you know. What sort of idiot would find camping a gate fun!
SKUNK
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Anaalys Fluuterby
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.04.10 21:57:00 -
[2]
Originally by: Audri Fisher On the other, the emo tears being cryed in this thread tell me that just because you shoot somebody for a living, does not mean you aren't a carebear
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Everyone Dies
Caldari Lucky Tampon
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Posted - 2008.04.10 22:04:00 -
[3]
why do you consider yourselves HEROES?
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Burnharder
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Posted - 2008.04.10 22:16:00 -
[4]
Haha nice one, well written.
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Tarminic
Forsaken Resistance The Last Stand
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Posted - 2008.04.10 22:17:00 -
[5]
Awesome. ---------------- Tarminic - 34 Million SP in Forum Warfare Play EVE: Downtime Madness v0.81 (Updated 4/8) |
Corduroy Rab
Digital Fury Corporation Digital Renegades
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Posted - 2008.04.10 22:30:00 -
[6]
Very nice read, definitely a breath of fresh air from the normal drivel that is on these forums.
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SoftRevolution
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Posted - 2008.04.10 22:34:00 -
[7]
Epic. They will sing songs of this day. EVE RELATED CONTENT |
Franga
NQX Innovations
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Posted - 2008.04.10 22:37:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Le Skunk Consulting my book "100 ways to claim victory" I noted that we had killed more ships then them. So I claimed victory.
You consult for the big 0.0 alliances, don't you?
Good battle report, btw. Inspiring.
Originally by: Rachel Vend ... with 100% reliability in most cases ...
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Waukesha
Amarr Extreme Addiction Atrum Tempestas Foedus
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Posted - 2008.04.10 23:59:00 -
[9]
Nice! :) Write some more!
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Dianeces
Minmatar The Illuminati.
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Posted - 2008.04.11 00:04:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Everyone Dies why do you consider yourselves HEROES?
Because he actually plays the game, instead of forum warrioring all the time.
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Chainsaw Plankton
IDLE GUNS
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Posted - 2008.04.11 00:08:00 -
[11]
congratz on the victory!
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Podee
Something Squishy
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Posted - 2008.04.11 00:19:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Chainsaw Plankton congratz on the victory!
Nothing happened |
Nitro G
Gallente C.R.I.M.E
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Posted - 2008.04.11 00:52:00 -
[13]
LIBERATION!!!!!
I felt like I was beside my brother as he told this wonderful, classic tale.
Let us rejoice at the top station!!! |
Farrqua
Minmatar Turbo Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2008.04.11 01:03:00 -
[14]
Burned the P0rno!!
I would have taken it with me and died with it. |
S'uck
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Posted - 2008.04.11 01:29:00 -
[15]
Edited by: S''uck on 11/04/2008 01:30:18
Originally by: Le Skunk I logged back In to see that an equaly enraged fellow peace keeper - USA4 had warped in on a sucide mission in his raven. Had his sudden appearance and subsequent hail of FOF missiles been the distraction which saved my pod? One can only guess.
i tried to lock your pod and it warped off before it could even start the locking cycle. dunno what happened there, i just thought "bugger, that forum ***** knows how to save his pod."
BIG props for bringin it with such a blob of us incoming, that was pure style.
oh, and btw, when i dropped out of warp i saw your hype smartbombing and i already thought i was royally fooqued, going straight through the blast. but either it was bad timing or i just missed the border of the smartbomb by a few metres, i dont care, i was saved.... from there it was only "Orbit Current", F1-F6, wait.
oh and then your buddy in the raven showed up ... i seriously expected him to pop more frigs in the tackle approach, but wth.
in the end you really won this fight, just by not staying docked. we bow to you.
but were noobs
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Erotic Irony
0bsession
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Posted - 2008.04.11 01:33:00 -
[16]
that'll do pig, that'll do ___ Eve Players are not very smart. Support Killmail Overhaul
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Acies Invictus
Minmatar Republic Military School
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Posted - 2008.04.11 03:23:00 -
[17]
Epic. |
Ikasu
Gallente Scrutari The Cyrene Initiative
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Posted - 2008.04.11 03:26:00 -
[18]
Congrats, you are an hero. |
Hank Soral
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Posted - 2008.04.11 03:32:00 -
[19]
That was the worst story I've ever read in my entire life. |
Dianeces
Minmatar The Illuminati.
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Posted - 2008.04.11 04:08:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Hank Soral That was the worst story I've ever read in my entire life.
It's better than the drivel you try to pass off as a :srspoast:. |
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motomysz
Brotherhood of the Phoenix Free Trade Zone.
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Posted - 2008.04.11 04:26:00 -
[21]
Thank you, Skunk. |
ceyriot
Crimson Rebellion Cold Star Alliance
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Posted - 2008.04.11 04:38:00 -
[22]
An appropriate battlecry for this situation would be...
THIS!! IS!!! MY!!! SYSTEM!!!! |
Siriyana
Astrum Contract Services Group
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Posted - 2008.04.11 04:44:00 -
[23]
You should have re-thought your ship fit.
See, a 250m ISK nitro-smartbombathron would have zoomed up through their crowd at 3km/s, initiating carnage left and right. You would have only lasted about 90 seconds, and you would have to cap-inject to keep the bombs and MWD running for those 90 seconds, but by god you would have slain hordes of frigates!
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The Icefox
Gallente Under the Wings of Fury Atrocitas
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Posted - 2008.04.11 05:08:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Le Skunk ...TOTAL WIN...
/salute I shed a tear with pride. |
Zeoliter
Reikoku Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.04.11 10:54:00 -
[25]
Having heard of your demise BoB rallied a fleet together to intercept the hostile and deal out some retribution. With a battle-cry of "Le Skunk FOREVER!!!" the BoB pilots set upon the toll dodgers and exacted several pounds of flesh.
Fleet Battle Report
Yes, you are reading it correctly. 96 of the 98 were sent back to empire for just two losses.
REPO and Noob Mercs, while we appreciate the gesture we just can't allow outsiders to come in and shoot our Goons. These are Goons many of whom we have nurtured since birth and we feel quite strongly about non-GBC pilots pilots shooting them after all the effort it took to get them back into being camped into an NPC station after 2 years.
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Siigari Kitawa
Gallente The Aduro Protocol
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Posted - 2008.04.11 10:58:00 -
[26]
lol
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Sorted
Low Sec Liberators
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Posted - 2008.04.11 11:08:00 -
[27]
LMAO!
nice one man lol
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hedfunk
Caldari Low Sec Liberators
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Posted - 2008.04.11 11:13:00 -
[28]
I saulute you Skunky baby <3
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Fink Angel
Caldari The Merry Men
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Posted - 2008.04.11 12:22:00 -
[29]
LOL, best bit of writing since Innominate Nightmare disappeared. You have a talent for it.
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Fink Angel
Caldari The Merry Men
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Posted - 2008.04.11 12:22:00 -
[30]
Edited by: Fink Angel on 11/04/2008 12:23:23 Dual post.
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