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Cassandra Beckinsale
   |
Posted - 2008.05.02 17:08:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Cassandra Beckinsale on 02/05/2008 17:07:47
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can dodge the wind! |
Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
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Posted - 2008.05.02 17:12:00 -
[2]
Chuck Norris is 68 years old and will die soon 
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goodby4u
Logistic Technologies Incorporated
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Posted - 2008.05.02 17:25:00 -
[3]
 Originally by: Akita T
Chuck Norris is 68 years old and will die soon
No he would make death his *****. |
Opertone
Caldari
Simtech Productions
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Posted - 2008.05.02 17:43:00 -
[4]
seriously? why do americans so love Chuck Norris? us know so little of him, we don't consider him a super star
i always thought that Arnold Swarzenneger is american national hero...
the question remains open still ... why Chuck Norris? |
P'uck
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Posted - 2008.05.02 18:05:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Opertone
seriously? why do americans so love Chuck Norris?
i bet a lot of people see that differently, but they dont really "love" him in an admiring way. they love him like you would love a clown.
all this "chuck is ubar" jokes actually started with "walker, texas ranger" iirc, which was like 200 years ago.
oh and btw... when chuck norris goes swimmingl, he doesnt get wet.
the water gets chuck norris'd. |
goodby4u
Logistic Technologies Incorporated
|
Posted - 2008.05.02 18:25:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Opertone
seriously? why do americans so love Chuck Norris? us know so little of him, we don't consider him a super star
i always thought that Arnold Swarzenneger is american national hero...
the question remains open still ... why Chuck Norris?
Think of it through our perspective, we like to be the biggest and the best...But martial arts usually sit in the asian corner.
But here comes chuck norris kicking ars in movies...The least we can do is spread his name in an awesome way. |
Opertone
Caldari
Simtech Productions
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Posted - 2008.05.02 18:26:00 -
[7]
Originally by: P'uck
Originally by: Opertone
seriously? why do americans so love Chuck Norris?
i bet a lot of people see that differently, but they dont really "love" him in an admiring way. they love him like you would love a clown.
all this "chuck is ubar" jokes actually started with "walker, texas ranger" iirc, which was like 200 years ago.
oh and btw... when chuck norris goes swimmingl, he doesnt get wet.
the water gets chuck norris'd.
do people perceive Chuck Norris stunts as a joke, a parody to his superiority? Or do they really admire him and his ultimate skills?
that people make jokes about Chuck Norris is absolutely new to me, but i am glad to learn |
Imperator Jora'h
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Posted - 2008.05.02 18:37:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Opertone
do people perceive Chuck Norris stunts as a joke, a parody to his superiority? Or do they really admire him and his ultimate skills?
that people make jokes about Chuck Norris is absolutely new to me, but i am glad to learn
Just one of those odd internet meme things that took on a life of its own. Saying Americans are in love with him somehow because of this is like saying we love Rick Astley from all the RickRolls (yes that is a real Rickroll) flying about.
Americans don't particularly think of him favorably or unfavorably. Just a movie semi-star who produced a ton of mediocre karate movies is all.
And there are millions of those Chuck Norris bits. Some of my favorites:
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Rialtor
Amarr
Yarrrateers
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Posted - 2008.05.02 20:07:00 -
[9]
I must say, Akita had the best one :). But here goes...
Chuck Norris can eat just 1 lays potato chip. |
Micheal Dietrich
Caldari
Cynical Cartel
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Posted - 2008.05.02 20:29:00 -
[10]
When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't actually push up but rather push's the world down. |
Nerogk Shorn
Caldari
Royal Hiigaran Navy
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Posted - 2008.05.02 20:30:00 -
[11]
Edited by: Nerogk Shorn on 02/05/2008 20:29:47
All this Chuck Norris stuff started kind of as a joke because of movies like Invasion U.S.A.
Here is the plot summary:
"Taking place during the Cold War, Soviet operative Mikhail Rostov (Richard Lynch) leads a band of Latin American communist guerrillas in a landing in Florida. The invasion force spreads out into the South and causes havoc by firing bazookas into suburban homes, inciting race riots, impersonating the police, attacking ethnic events, devastating a county fair, and planting bombs in churches, malls and on school buses. With terror spreading everywhere, martial law is declared. Only former CIA agent Matt Hunter (Norris), who has had previous encounters with Rostov, can take him on."
BTW, Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Poppy Star
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
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Posted - 2008.05.02 20:33:00 -
[12]
Edited by: Poppy Star on 02/05/2008 20:33:11
My favourite Norrisisms....
Chuck Norris put the "laughter" in manslaughter
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his spare time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris can build snowmen out of rain.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista Premium on his etch-a-sketch.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are c0.ckroaches and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
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Jacob Mei
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Posted - 2008.05.02 21:19:00 -
[13]
Chuck Norris is so tough that there is no chin under his beard, there is only another fist. |
Blane Xero
Amarr
The Firestorm Cartel
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Posted - 2008.05.02 21:42:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Blane Xero on 02/05/2008 21:42:31
Chuck Norris doesnt have cancer, cancer has chuck norris.
Chuck norris doesnt need a nightlight, the dark needs a nightlight for chuck norris.
Chuck norris once kicked a man so hard he devolved back into the stoneage, this is how George Bush was born.
The CIA once consulted Chuck Norris on where UFO's come from, he simply replied "I was throwing discus" |
Orion Eridanus
Dark Nova Crisis
Chain of Chaos
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Posted - 2008.05.03 02:34:00 -
[15]
My friends mom has Chuck Norris for the dead pool. Sucks for her because he is immortal. |
GhostXile
Black Screen of Death
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Posted - 2008.05.03 06:40:00 -
[16]
Chuck Norris doesn't have sex on his back because chuck Norris doesn't **** up!!
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Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
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Posted - 2008.05.03 15:10:00 -
[17]
they wanted to carve chuck's face in to mount rushmore but couldn't find any material hard enough for his beard.
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Lyn Quan
Caldari
State War Academy
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Posted - 2008.05.03 15:12:00 -
[18]
NO! This dies now. The last time it went on for months. 
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Jacob Mei
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Posted - 2008.05.03 15:13:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Lyn Quan
NO! This dies now. The last time it went on for months.
Chuck Norris is so tough that stuff that has his name shares his toughness and so cant die. |
ReaperOfSly
Gallente
Lyrus Associates
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Posted - 2008.05.03 15:38:00 -
[20]
Chuck Norris never actually moves. When he wants to go somewhere, the universe moves around him. |
Kyrall
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2008.05.03 16:14:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Lyn Quan
NO! This dies now. The last time it went on for months.
Chuck Norris is such a legend that even Chuck Norris couldn't stop this meme... |
Amastat
Caldari
Omegatech
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Posted - 2008.05.03 17:15:00 -
[22]
Edited by: Amastat on 03/05/2008 17:16:24
Chuck Norris does not step into the house, the house is built around Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not run, the Earth moves while he powerwalks - making it appear as if he is running.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, Chuck Norris came first.
When Chuck Norris jumps, he does not go up; the heavens come down to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not reach for his gun, the gun comes to Chuck Norris.
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Lord Zoran
House of Tempers
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Posted - 2008.05.03 18:59:00 -
[23]
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door |
Batwigg
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Posted - 2008.05.03 19:13:00 -
[24]
Please just let this stupid meme die. |
Kirjava
Royal Hiigaran Navy
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Posted - 2008.05.03 19:14:00 -
[25]
Chuck Norris was once called before the Old Baily charged with attempted murder.
The case was thrown out in contempt from the Judge, Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder. |
Wendat Huron
Stellar Solutions
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Posted - 2008.05.03 19:15:00 -
[26]
Fact, few supposed actors are this overrated and subject to a cult of manlove, fact. |
Machinegun Lenny
Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2008.05.03 20:31:00 -
[27]
"Brokeback Mountain" is the name of a movie about g ay cowboys.... it's also the name of the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris' backyard. |
Adonis 4174
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Posted - 2008.05.03 21:54:00 -
[28]
Somewhere there is a website where Chuck Norris replies to individual 'facts' with christian doctrine. It is quite depressing.
Seriously, he's been superceded by Rick Astley. Let him go. |
Nadija
House of Tempers
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Posted - 2008.05.04 01:13:00 -
[29]
Edited by: Nadija on 04/05/2008 01:13:57
also some brits love chuck.... like my dad loves watching Chuck Norris Texas Ranger AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! help me! |
Steakkbone
Helios Incorporated
Insurgency
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Posted - 2008.05.04 08:43:00 -
[30]
Chuck Norris was sent back in time to prevent the JFK assassination. He successfully deflected all three bullets with his beard. JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement. |
Kyanzes
Amarr
Utopian Research I.E.L.
The ENTITY.
|
Posted - 2008.05.04 09:04:00 -
[31]
Originally by: Steakkbone
Chuck Norris was sent back in time to prevent the JFK assassination. He successfully deflected all three bullets with his beard. JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement.
 |
Corphus
The NewOrder
Black-Out
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Posted - 2008.05.04 11:19:00 -
[32]
if chuck norris ganks you in empire concord looks the other way. |
B5spectre
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Posted - 2008.05.04 12:11:00 -
[33]
Chuck Norris never pulls the trigger on a gun, he simply breaths on it and the bullet shoots out from the wind preasure |
Heated Don
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Posted - 2008.05.04 16:18:00 -
[34]
Edited by: Heated Don on 04/05/2008 16:18:25
hmmm Chuck Norris getting a lesson of the Master |
Raymond Sterns
Utopian Research I.E.L.
The ENTITY.
|
Posted - 2008.05.04 18:11:00 -
[35]
Edited by: Raymond Sterns on 04/05/2008 18:11:02
Everyone do this.
- Go to google.com.
Type in, "find Chuck Norris".
Press, "I'm feeling lucky".
?????
PROFIT!
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Sothis Antares
PBA Corporation
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Posted - 2008.05.04 18:27:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Raymond Sterns
Edited by: Raymond Sterns on 04/05/2008 18:11:02
Everyone do this.
- Go to google.com.
Type in, "find Chuck Norris".
Press, "I'm feeling lucky".
?????
PROFIT!
|
Havok Dryke
Golden Gavel Enterprises
The Cooperative
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Posted - 2008.05.04 18:28:00 -
[37]
Originally by: Raymond Sterns
Edited by: Raymond Sterns on 04/05/2008 18:11:02
Everyone do this.
- Go to google.com.
Type in, "find Chuck Norris".
Press, "I'm feeling lucky".
?????
PROFIT!
 |
HankMurphy
Minmatar
Pelennor Enterprises
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Posted - 2008.05.04 19:01:00 -
[38]
CHUCK NORRIS CAN DIVIDE BY ZERO |
Xonkra
Gallente
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Posted - 2008.05.04 20:03:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Raymond Sterns
Edited by: Raymond Sterns on 04/05/2008 18:11:02
Everyone do this.
- Go to google.com.
Type in, "find Chuck Norris".
Press, "I'm feeling lucky".
?????
PROFIT!
/thread tbqfh |
Rhatar Khurin
Minmatar
Sten Industries
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Posted - 2008.05.04 23:37:00 -
[40]
hehe, the interview with Chuck norris about his own "facts" was funny.
Linkage |
Candice Bormardin
Caldari
Jouvulen Enterprises Inc.
|
Posted - 2008.05.05 00:55:00 -
[41]
I think one of the things about Chuck Norris - is that he actually is a pretty tough guy.
The first time I heard of him was watching one of, if not his last competitive karate match and the guy was really, really good. I only saw him fight that one time - but it left a lasting impression.
He's also a simple, straight forward person and thus fairly well liked by a lot of simple, straight forward people.
Another factor is ... John Wayne's been gone for a good long time and I think there are a lot of people who wanted someone to fill that cultural role.
They aren't the same though, John Wayne was actually, when given the opportunity, a fairly good actor where as ... Chuck isn't. The thing is while John Wayne had a reputation for being tough ... Chuck Norris really is tough.
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Schuyler Haussumann
PROGENITOR CORPORATION
Intrepid Crossing
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Posted - 2008.05.05 03:21:00 -
[42]
a chuck norris administered roundhouse kick is the preferred method of execution in 32 U.S states.
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Lucia Vedette
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Posted - 2008.05.05 06:01:00 -
[43]
Chuck Norris is so tough he clogs the toliet when he takes a leak.
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Bigeasy
Caldari
Ad Astra Vexillum
Brutally Clever Empire
|
Posted - 2008.05.05 08:00:00 -
[44]
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with an erection.
There were no survivors...
Let them hate, so long as they fear-Caligula |
Spaztick
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Posted - 2008.05.05 15:25:00 -
[45]
Chuck Norris is suing NBC because their show Law & Order is the trademarked names of Chuck's left and right fists.
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Raymond Sterns
Utopian Research I.E.L.
The ENTITY.
|
Posted - 2008.05.05 20:31:00 -
[46]
Chuck Norris DID expect the Spanish Inquisition.
_
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Epegi Givo
Amarr
New Eden Manufacturing and Missions
|
Posted - 2008.05.05 22:05:00 -
[47]
Originally by: Raymond Sterns
Chuck Norris DID expect the Spanish Inquisition.
win!
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who got Chuck Norris mad at them and those who are still alive
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Originally by: DroneCommander
Originally by: Isiskhan
My mother's name is Rolricka. Yes, I'm being 100% serious.
Dude! Your mum got RolRick'd!
|
Dirtee Girl
Omega Enterprises
Mostly Harmless
|
Posted - 2008.05.06 06:11:00 -
[48]
chuck norris' name is so powerful that simply typing it in forums rips the fabric of space and time transporting you back 5 years in time to when it was still funny .
*
* |
Toshiro GreyHawk
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Posted - 2008.05.06 06:21:00 -
[49]
Edited by: Toshiro GreyHawk on 06/05/2008 06:24:18
Chuck Norris is so tough that when he goes surfing - the sharks head for the beach.
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Triksterism
Gallente
Image Not Found
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Posted - 2008.05.08 09:10:00 -
[50]
Here's one:
Chuck Norris is a ****in' fundie.
CHUCK SUCKS!
-----------------------------------
CCP Please update my portrait on the website/forums :D
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Raymond Sterns
Utopian Research I.E.L.
The ENTITY.
|
Posted - 2008.05.08 14:25:00 -
[51]
Every time a troll tries to put down Chuck Norris, they get 3 giant pimples on their ass so they can't sit for a week and play EvE.
_
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Mordred Ottomo
Terran Resurrection
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Posted - 2008.05.08 17:47:00 -
[52]
If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you!
If you can't see Chuck Norris, it's because he's behind you breaking your neck.
Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy fighter by pointing at it and shouting "BANG".
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for his incredible good looks and invincible martial arts abilities. Chuck then round-housed the Devil and took his soul back. The Devil admitted he should have saw that coming.
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Amastat
Caldari
Omegatech
|
Posted - 2008.05.08 18:03:00 -
[53]
Originally by: Raymond Sterns
Every time a troll tries to put down Chuck Norris, they get 3 giant pimples on their ass so they can't sit for a week and play EvE.
OWNED ><
____________________
"All warfare is based on deception... we must seem unable...seem inactive...and crush him " - Sun Tzu, the |
Triksterism
Gallente
Image Not Found
|
Posted - 2008.05.08 19:09:00 -
[54]
Originally by: Amastat
Originally by: Raymond Sterns
Every time a troll tries to put down Chuck Norris, they get 3 giant pimples on their ass so they can't sit for a week and play EvE.
OWNED ><
Yes, giant pimples. Welcome to 7th grade again folks.
-----------------------------------
CCP Please update my portrait on the website/forums :D
|
Spaztick
|
Posted - 2008.05.08 19:31:00 -
[55]
1) Chuck Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma, the son of Wilma and Carlos Ray Norris.
2) In 1993, Chuck Norris began shooting the series Walker, Texas Ranger, which lasted eight years on CBS and continued in heavy syndication on other channels.
3) In late 2005, Norris became the object of an internet phenomenon known as Chuck Norris Facts, which document fictional, often absurdly heroic feats and characteristics about Norris himself.
But seriously, more people should have some type of spacer in their sigs to show it's not part of the post. |
Raymond Sterns
Utopian Research I.E.L.
The ENTITY.
|
Posted - 2008.05.08 19:53:00 -
[56]
Originally by: Triksterism
Originally by: Amastat
Originally by: Raymond Sterns
Every time a troll tries to put down Chuck Norris, they get 3 giant pimples on their ass so they can't sit for a week and play EvE.
OWNED ><
Yes, giant pimples. Welcome to 7th grade again folks.
It's a thread about fictitious Chuck Norris facts, stop being a tight ass
_
|
Xtreem
Gallente
Knockaround Guys Inc.
Exxxotic
|
Posted - 2008.05.08 20:02:00 -
[57]
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Cassandra Beckinsale
|
Posted - 2008.05.16 13:55:00 -
[58]
Chuck norris eat depleted uranium... and defecate it enriched!
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Ren Surkova
Down In Flames
|
Posted - 2008.05.16 18:04:00 -
[59]
Chuck Norris (born Carlos Ray Norris Jr.; March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, action star and television and film actor who is known for action roles such as Cordell "Cord" Walker on Walker, Texas Ranger, his training with Bruce Lee and for his iconically tough image.
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Thorliaron
Brutor tribe
|
Posted - 2008.05.16 18:07:00 -
[60]
Chuck Norris is a idoit - FACT
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Faekurias
Cash Money Brothers
R0ADKILL
|
Posted - 2008.05.16 20:36:00 -
[61]
Originally by: Thorliaron
Chuck Norris is a idoit - FACT
Quoted so he can't fix it.
Sig locked, abuse of use - for more information mail [email protected] |
Captain Hudson
Caldari
Royal Hiigaran Navy
|
Posted - 2008.05.16 21:02:00 -
[62]
Originally by: Faekurias
Originally by: Thorliaron
Chuck Norris is a idoit - FACT
Quoted so he can't fix it.
wow, u must have been really offended by that statement to bring out the old 'spelling noob!' tactic
The Real Eve FanFest |
Faekurias
Cash Money Brothers
R0ADKILL
|
Posted - 2008.05.16 23:30:00 -
[63]
Edited by: Faekurias on 16/05/2008 23:30:06
Not really, I just found it humerous. 
Edit: Ok you got me, I'm Chuck Norris.
Sig locked, abuse of use - for more information mail [email protected] |
Atomos Darksun
Infortunatus Eventus
|
Posted - 2008.05.16 23:41:00 -
[64]
Only the Southern (or northern for that matter) hic's and hillbillies like Chuck Norris.
I personally prefer the GOVERNATOR!!!
Originally by: Amoxin
My vent is talking to me in a devil voice...
Atomos' Guide to Forum Flaming |
Faekurias
Cash Money Brothers
R0ADKILL
|
Posted - 2008.05.17 00:59:00 -
[65]
Pensi = Superhero, C/D?
Sig locked, abuse of use - for more information mail [email protected] |
Captain Hudson
Caldari
Royal Hiigaran Navy
|
Posted - 2008.05.17 02:38:00 -
[66]
Originally by: Faekurias
Edited by: Faekurias on 16/05/2008 23:30:06
Not really, I just found it humerous.
Edit: Ok you got me, I'm Chuck Norris.
i knew it!
The Real Eve FanFest |
Cipher7
Sebiestor tribe
|
Posted - 2008.05.17 10:50:00 -
[67]
Charmin once hired Chuck Norris to design a new line of toilet paper.
The plan failed, because the toilet paper wouldn't take crap from anybody.
|
P'uck
|
Posted - 2008.05.17 16:59:00 -
[68]
In soviet russia, chuck norris collects stupid memes about YOU.
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Sakura Nihil
Stimulus
|
Posted - 2008.05.18 03:07:00 -
[69]
I don't feel the love in this room for the man.
Give him some credit .
Goal Line Blitz, an American Football MMO
Vote Jade for CSM. |
Jacob Mei
|
Posted - 2008.05.18 07:13:00 -
[70]
The Roman empire wasnĘt destroyed by the Visigoths, Chuck Norris went back in time by sheer will power to fight as a gladiator in the coliseum and got carried away after defeating every opponent that faced him.
Chuck Norris doesnt live in fear of a zombie attack, zombies live in fear of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris reads these forums and goes WTF at some of the things hes credited with doing.
--------------------------------
To borrow a phrase:
Players who post are like stars, there are bright ones and those who are dim.
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April Wall
|
Posted - 2008.05.18 22:39:00 -
[71]
A rattlesnake once bit Chuck Norris. After suffering for 5 days - it died.
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Tobias Xiaosen
Gallente
The Perfect Storm
|
Posted - 2008.05.19 07:40:00 -
[72]
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
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THE AWARD FOR MOST RIDICULOUS DREAM EVER GOES TO... |
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