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DubanFP
Caldari Four Rings Souls of Vengeance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:10:00 -
[1]
Hmm, IÆm in a bit of a situation and quite frankly EVE OOTP has a lot of intelligent people. Some of you even have children of their own.
I have a friend and both of us are in our early 20s. My friend has a 13-14 year old brother. His little bro, Anthony (Ant), is the kind of kid that's always getting into trouble, and picking fights he can't win. After knowing him for 10 years I don't think he's a bad kid. The thing is he has a tendency to get into trouble a lot, and fall to peer pressure. This past year or so he's been trying extra hard, and has actually been pretty good after getting into 2-3 pretty bad "incidents".
However yesterday we were asked to pick him up. I thought I saw smoke when I saw him but passed it off as me being mistaken. My friend asked ant to "go pick up some napkins". While ant was away he got to the ground, looked at a fresh cigarette butt, and asked me "Was it just me or was he smoking?". To which I had to agree that I saw the smoke.
My friend confronted Ant and mentioned "Look, I won't tell mom. Just tell me if you were or were not smoking". Ant confessed to it. My friend made it clear he did not approve, but kept his promise.
Now on one hand I feel compelled to keep it too as it was told in confidence even though it wasn't my promise. On the other hand I may have had my troubles with ant, but I don't hate him. So I don't want to see him screw himself up later in life because of it mistakes he made so young. So what do I do now?
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ReiAyanami> We bring you tidings of AARRRRRRRRR |
DubanFP
Caldari Four Rings Souls of Vengeance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:10:00 -
[2]
Hmm, IÆm in a bit of a situation and quite frankly EVE OOTP has a lot of intelligent people. Some of you even have children of their own.
I have a friend and both of us are in our early 20s. My friend has a 13-14 year old brother. His little bro, Anthony (Ant), is the kind of kid that's always getting into trouble, and picking fights he can't win. After knowing him for 10 years I don't think he's a bad kid. The thing is he has a tendency to get into trouble a lot, and fall to peer pressure. This past year or so he's been trying extra hard, and has actually been pretty good after getting into 2-3 pretty bad "incidents".
However yesterday we were asked to pick him up. I thought I saw smoke when I saw him but passed it off as me being mistaken. My friend asked ant to "go pick up some napkins". While ant was away he got to the ground, looked at a fresh cigarette butt, and asked me "Was it just me or was he smoking?". To which I had to agree that I saw the smoke.
My friend confronted Ant and mentioned "Look, I won't tell mom. Just tell me if you were or were not smoking". Ant confessed to it. My friend made it clear he did not approve, but kept his promise.
Now on one hand I feel compelled to keep it too as it was told in confidence even though it wasn't my promise. On the other hand I may have had my troubles with ant, but I don't hate him. So I don't want to see him screw himself up later in life because of it mistakes he made so young. So what do I do now?
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ReiAyanami> We bring you tidings of AARRRRRRRRR |
pwnedgato
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:12:00 -
[3]
Edited by: pwnedgato on 28/06/2008 00:12:10 Edit: unpopular belief removed.
Originally by: Crumplecorn These is a forum for this.
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pwnedgato
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:12:00 -
[4]
Edited by: pwnedgato on 28/06/2008 00:12:10 Edit: unpopular belief removed.
Originally by: Crumplecorn These is a forum for this.
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DubanFP
Caldari Four Rings Souls of Vengeance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:14:00 -
[5]
Edited by: DubanFP on 28/06/2008 00:17:51
Originally by: pwnedgato Edited by: pwnedgato on 28/06/2008 00:12:10 Edit: unpopular belief removed.
I saw that belief. I'm not going to cause problems. He does spend a good bit of time with us, and he's been pretty good this last year. Just know that I don't consider him "JUST that little kid brother of my friend". I am a bit personally involved in this. Even if I am mainly there for my friend. _______________
ReiAyanami> We bring you tidings of AARRRRRRRRR |
DubanFP
Caldari Four Rings Souls of Vengeance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:14:00 -
[6]
Edited by: DubanFP on 28/06/2008 00:17:51
Originally by: pwnedgato Edited by: pwnedgato on 28/06/2008 00:12:10 Edit: unpopular belief removed.
I saw that belief. I'm not going to cause problems. He does spend a good bit of time with us, and he's been pretty good this last year. Just know that I don't consider him "JUST that little kid brother of my friend". I am a bit personally involved in this. Even if I am mainly there for my friend. _______________
ReiAyanami> We bring you tidings of AARRRRRRRRR |
pwnedgato
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:19:00 -
[7]
Then it is simple. The kid is too young to realize that it is for his own good, but it is still best to tell his parents. That isn't guaranteed to work of course.
Originally by: Crumplecorn These is a forum for this.
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pwnedgato
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:19:00 -
[8]
Then it is simple. The kid is too young to realize that it is for his own good, but it is still best to tell his parents. That isn't guaranteed to work of course.
Originally by: Crumplecorn These is a forum for this.
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oDDiTy V2
Black Nova Corp Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:28:00 -
[9]
Punch him in the balls every time he pulls out a smoke. He'll catch on.
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Daedalus DuGalle
Gallente Federal Defence Union
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Posted - 2008.06.28 00:33:00 -
[10]
Depends on the kid. If you can trust him to listen to you/your friend if you/he tells him no smoking, then don't tell his parents. Keeping the secret can also help with blackmailing the kid in case he tries something similar in the future. Lets face it, fear works, especially with overimaginative 13 year olds. "Think about what dad'll do if I tell him..."
The problem with telling is he'll obviously find out, and when he does he'll stop trusting you. Thus you lose all credability if you need to guide him in the future if he does something really bad..say..you know, play WoW.
- What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? |
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Schani Kratnorr
x13
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Posted - 2008.06.28 01:09:00 -
[11]
Quote: Smoking is cool, and makes you attractive to the opposite sex.
This is what we have been told for years. The last couple of decades however, smoking has gone from cool to uncool status.
In my experience, you cannot simply tell people to stop smoking. You can only give them access to the scinetific information available on the subject. The actual information, not the after school special pamplets since those will only make him tear of the filter, in order to kill himself faster...
I used to smoke. I quit. I am glad I did because now I dont have to run around like an addict trying to get my nicotine-fix.
Having said that. If the kid is generally making poor choices, perhaps smoking will remove him from the genepool faster, thus reducing the possibility of him leaving his faulty offspring for the future to take care off.
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Remata Lakira
Terran Coalition
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Posted - 2008.06.28 01:40:00 -
[12]
If he is susceptible to peer pressure then he is doomed anyway. Let him take up smoking so that he doesn't become a *****head later.
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Akiba Penrose
Minmatar PAK
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:15:00 -
[13]
Mind your own business. This was between your friend and his brother.
If your worried about him have a chat with him, dont go behind his back. - - Falcons |
Liang Nuren
Perkone
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:20:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Liang Nuren on 28/06/2008 02:20:26 Well, peer pressure gets people into trouble, but the best thing for him is to realize that smoking makes most modern girls not like you.
I can't count the number of times I've heard girls say that smoking is "so gross" or similar... even the smoking hotties. I never picked up smoking (partially) because my girlfriends never liked it.
Sex has a great appeal to young boys. And to men in general.
-Liang
Ed: I would not tell his parents, because it was mentioned in confidence. You could work on him to fess up himself though. -- It was an honor to participate in the Insurgency campaign in Branch. o7 to all involved. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Minmatar Metafarmers
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:24:00 -
[15]
All the cool kids are doing it, you don't want him to fit in?
You're not afraid of the dark, are you? |
DubanFP
Caldari Four Rings Souls of Vengeance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:26:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Surfin's PlunderBunny All the cool kids are doing it, you don't want him to fit in?
As much as i normally enjoy your jokes I don't think this is really the place/time. _______________
ReiAyanami> We bring you tidings of AARRRRRRRRR |
brocksamson316
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:27:00 -
[17]
Originally by: DubanFP Hmm, IÆm in a bit of a situation and quite frankly EVE OOTP has a lot of intelligent people. Some of you even have children of their own.
I have a friend and both of us are in our early 20s. My friend has a 13-14 year old brother. His little bro, Anthony (Ant), is the kind of kid that's always getting into trouble, and picking fights he can't win. After knowing him for 10 years I don't think he's a bad kid. The thing is he has a tendency to get into trouble a lot, and fall to peer pressure. This past year or so he's been trying extra hard, and has actually been pretty good after getting into 2-3 pretty bad "incidents".
However yesterday we were asked to pick him up. I thought I saw smoke when I saw him but passed it off as me being mistaken. My friend asked ant to "go pick up some napkins". While ant was away he got to the ground, looked at a fresh cigarette butt, and asked me "Was it just me or was he smoking?". To which I had to agree that I saw the smoke.
My friend confronted Ant and mentioned "Look, I won't tell mom. Just tell me if you were or were not smoking". Ant confessed to it. My friend made it clear he did not approve, but kept his promise.
Now on one hand I feel compelled to keep it too as it was told in confidence even though it wasn't my promise. On the other hand I may have had my troubles with ant, but I don't hate him. So I don't want to see him screw himself up later in life because of it mistakes he made so young. So what do I do now?
The last thing you do you stupid man is ask for advice on a forum of an internet spaceship game, do you really think theres many people on here in any worthwhile position to offer advice on such a subject.
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DubanFP
Caldari Four Rings Souls of Vengeance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:30:00 -
[18]
Originally by: brocksamson316
The last thing you do you stupid man is ask for advice on a forum of an internet spaceship game, do you really think theres many people on here in any worthwhile position to offer advice on such a subject.
EVE forums, especially OOTP, has a lot of really intelligent and knowledgeable people. It's not like I can talk to anyone in person about this without risking it getting around. Now look at the responses. Are you going to tell me I didn't get exactly what I was looking for? _______________
ReiAyanami> We bring you tidings of AARRRRRRRRR |
brocksamson316
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:31:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Schani Kratnorr
Quote: Smoking is cool, and makes you attractive to the opposite sex.
This is what we have been told for years. The last couple of decades however, smoking has gone from cool to uncool status.
In my experience, you cannot simply tell people to stop smoking. You can only give them access to the scinetific information available on the subject. The actual information, not the after school special pamplets since those will only make him tear of the filter, in order to kill himself faster...
I used to smoke. I quit. I am glad I did because now I dont have to run around like an addict trying to get my nicotine-fix.
Having said that. If the kid is generally making poor choices, perhaps smoking will remove him from the genepool faster, thus reducing the possibility of him leaving his faulty offspring for the future to take care off.
i would have agreed entirely with this if only you had spelled a few of the words correctly, roughly how many classes at school did you skip?
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brocksamson316
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:33:00 -
[20]
Originally by: DubanFP
Originally by: brocksamson316
The last thing you do you stupid man is ask for advice on a forum of an internet spaceship game, do you really think theres many people on here in any worthwhile position to offer advice on such a subject.
EVE forums, especially OOTP, has a lot of really intelligent and knowledgeable people. It's not like I can talk to anyone in person about this without risking it getting around. Now look at the responses. Are you going to tell me I didn't get exactly what I was looking for?
so are you telling me you have nobody in real life you can confide in? no real friends? if so i feel bad mate and i apologise for being mean.
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DubanFP
Caldari Four Rings Souls of Vengeance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 02:38:00 -
[21]
Edited by: DubanFP on 28/06/2008 02:39:32
Originally by: brocksamson316 so are you telling me you have nobody in real life you can confide in? no real friends? if so i feel bad mate and i apologise for being mean.
Or I don't want to start blabbing around a secret to people who will know exactly who I'm talking about? Especially when it may not even be my secret to keep/tell. I know the OOTP are generally good for advice and got exactly what I asked for from it. _______________
ReiAyanami> We bring you tidings of AARRRRRRRRR |
corporal hicks
Gallente Imperium Technologies
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Posted - 2008.06.28 04:10:00 -
[22]
Well as a smoker for the last 18 years or so I can understand the problem.
choices are hard here but tbh telling his parents would be a good idea, it might not stop him smoking, but at least he might get some information or education on the do'd or dont's as regards it. Telling him its unhealthy and will cause cancer blah blah blah wont be very effective, however pointing out the fact he may be spending ú10 a week at the moment on smokes at the moment but eventually he will be spending ú60-ú100 a week to fuel his addiction might be make him pause.
However the fact he seems to get into serious trouble now and succube to peer presure does paint the picture he will rebel againest his parents no matter what is said and will most continue anyway.
Anyway its not your place to tell his parents it should be his brothers, if your so concerned you should confront your friend and suggest telling there mom might be a good idea, tbh the kid sounds like he has some chip on his shoulder anyway and it can only get worse without intervention.
However his real problem is not smoking anyway from your post, the fights and peer presure ect are far more likly to lead to serious consequences down the road for the kid, If he was my son I would be more worried about that rather than the smoking.
" Stay Frosty "
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Micheal Dietrich
Caldari Terradyne Networks
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Posted - 2008.06.28 05:39:00 -
[23]
Tell him that in ten years he'll be like me. Coughing all the time, waiting for that next break for a smoke, coughing up lovely stuff every morning, increasing my chances for cancer, having a vehicle that smells like an ashtray, smelling like one myself although I don't notice it.
My father also likes to point out the monetary value too. With my pack a day habit I can afford a cruise each year.
Maybe I'll grow up to be like my grandmother who chain smoked for the better part of her life and later suffered several devastating strokes and heart attacks. In the last month of her life we learned that she had formed a clot in her leg and it was essentially dieing.
Yeah, I was one of those guys that said I can quit at anytime too and I wish I had.
Hell show him the thread.
Originally by: El'tar I WOULD WARRIOR FOR WOMAN BELONG TO ME!
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annoing
Amarr MisFunk Inc. Daisho Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.06.28 07:47:00 -
[24]
Want him to give up smoking with the knowledge that hes NEVER likely to smoke again? Want it to cost less than ú10 for the cure? Then read on dear boy .....
Go to the store, buy 2 packs of one of the really good, strong brands. You and your friend take Ant to a nice secluded spot and give him a cigerette, then another, then another and another and so on. Make sure he smokes them almost continuously. By the end of the first pack (if he makes it that far) hes gonna be really pukey, light headed beyond belief and feeling like death ('turning green' used to be the expression in the old days). But make sure you try to get him to keep smoking. He wont get much further before hes violently sick. After he pukes, make him smoke again if you can. He'll be sick again. I doubt he'll make it through pack 2, i'll bet he'll promise with his life that he wont smoke again and i'll bet he doesnt either. The next time one of his 'friends' offers him a cigerette he'll say no and even if he feels under peer pressure to accept, if he does smoke it he'll puke almost instantly. His body (not necessarily his mind) has learnt to associate smoking with puking, so it will puke every time he tries to smoke. True, this is not a nice thing to do but there again, its a effective way of driving home a hard message ... "Smoking is bad for you".
Dwi Cymraig
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Surfin's PlunderBunny
Minmatar Metafarmers
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Posted - 2008.06.28 08:00:00 -
[25]
Originally by: annoing Want him to give up smoking with the knowledge that hes NEVER likely to smoke again? Want it to cost less than ú10 for the cure? Then read on dear boy .....
Go to the store, buy 2 packs of one of the really good, strong brands. You and your friend take Ant to a nice secluded spot and give him a cigerette, then another, then another and another and so on. Make sure he smokes them almost continuously. By the end of the first pack (if he makes it that far) hes gonna be really pukey, light headed beyond belief and feeling like death ('turning green' used to be the expression in the old days). But make sure you try to get him to keep smoking. He wont get much further before hes violently sick. After he pukes, make him smoke again if you can. He'll be sick again. I doubt he'll make it through pack 2, i'll bet he'll promise with his life that he wont smoke again and i'll bet he doesnt either. The next time one of his 'friends' offers him a cigerette he'll say no and even if he feels under peer pressure to accept, if he does smoke it he'll puke almost instantly. His body (not necessarily his mind) has learnt to associate smoking with puking, so it will puke every time he tries to smoke. True, this is not a nice thing to do but there again, its a effective way of driving home a hard message ... "Smoking is bad for you".
the same effect can be reached by giving him a huge pinch of copenhagen dip... and it'll happen a hell of a lot faster
I remember my first time.... I was stumbling around, gagging, puking, my squad leader was laughing at me....
You're not afraid of the dark, are you? |
Ryysa
Paisti Paisti Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.06.28 08:22:00 -
[26]
Well... another evil thing is to put a single fingernail in the cigarette, hiding it, so it is not noticeable.
It is one of the oldest tricks in the book, and is guaranteed to make the person NOT want to smoke again for a long time.
Oh, also, you should tell him that sex > smoking :P
EW Guide - KB Tool - My Music |
Kappas.
Galaxy Punks Black Core Alliance
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Posted - 2008.06.28 15:59:00 -
[27]
I wouldn't tell the parents.
You can now, however, blackmail him to your hearts content __________________
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Mankirks Wife
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Posted - 2008.06.28 16:34:00 -
[28]
If you tell his parents after you said you wouldn't all you do is prove (to him) that you're untrustworthy, and he's obviously the kind of kid that isn't going to listen to you or anyone else, except maybe his friends.
So I would tell his parents to look into what kinds of people he's hanging out with. Honestly by the time the problem has gotten this far it's way too late to really be able to do much about it.
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Sidus Isaacs
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Posted - 2008.06.28 17:02:00 -
[29]
Originally by: DubanFP Now on one hand I feel compelled to keep it too as it was told in confidence even though it wasn't my promise. On the other hand I may have had my troubles with ant, but I don't hate him. So I don't want to see him screw himself up later in life because of it mistakes he made so young. So what do I do now?
Smoking is not that big of a deal. Sure it costs a buch and will shave some years of your life expecancy. The best way is to try and convey the real facts about smoking to him personaly. Telling his motehr and then let her scream at hin abput it will only worsen the situation. |
Bom Bast
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Posted - 2008.06.28 17:30:00 -
[30]
Cigarettes may be killing me... but they save the lives of everyone I meet on a daily basis.
DO it the sneaky way. Engineer an event that leads to them finding out. If that fails... well, smoke a pack yourself and then take the butts and put it in the kids clothes/backpack/you get it. :D Trickery for the win! |
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