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Xornicon Altair
Woopatang The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 02:08:00 -
[1]
So, we all play EVE. We all accept the risks of scammers and corp thieves. This post is not about them as I accept them as a part of the game. This post is about how ******ed and/or idiotic one such corp thief can be.
It all started a few days ago when it was decided that the corp roles and titles are outdated and need to be updated. So, the Director in charge of this goes about adjusting the varied roles and titles so that hangar accesses and whatnot are in proper order.
And this is where our incompetent corp thief enters the story...
Korrey is his name, and he noticed that he suddenly had hangar accesses that he didn't have a couple of days before. This was a mistake on our Director's part while he was reorganizing everything, and we fully take responsibility for this mistake. Korrey, being an oppertunist, started clearing out the hangars one by one.
He reprocessed everything that wasn't tech 2 and held on to the rest of the tech 2 modules. He sold all the minerals that he got except for the Tritanium and the Mexallon. The rest he put into General Freight Containers in preparation to be moved out of 0.0 and up to high sec.
At this point, he seems like a standard fare corp thief. Nothing special about this story. But, this is also where our little story turns and shows how ******ed, idiotic, and straight up incompetent our corp thief really is.
You see, this is where he contacts the person in our corporation who owns a Jump Freighter and asks him to move the stuff to high sec for him. He even offers to pay for the service. He has also been bragging to a "friend" of his who is a good friend of ours who clued us in to the fact that he has the accesses. When it was realized that everything was gone and that Korrey was the prime suspect, the one who has the Jump Freighter accepted the contract to move everything to high sec, including a payment of about 22 million ISK. The contract was Item Exchange, not Courier, so, the containers could be snooped through without any issues.
Lo and Behold, there's all of our missing Tech 2 stuff and a huge pile of Tritanium and Mexallon! It has not been moved to high sec.
So, not only is Korrey a Corp Thief, but he's also an idiot. If one can fail at being a Corp Thief, Darwinism should step in and see about removing him.
As I said, it's not the corp thievery that I have the issues with, it's the fact that after stealing everything, he then contracted it all back to us!
So, the moral of the story is: Always eat corn flakes for breakfast.
The Red Skull: http://www.eve-syndicate.com/index.php |
Nerodon
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Posted - 2008.07.23 02:15:00 -
[2]
This is possibly the most hilarious story of wrong-gone thievery ever.
I wonder what you guys are planning to do with him.
In any case, that's awesome that you got the stuff back... and whats left of the T1 stuff :P.
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goatplasma
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2008.07.23 02:18:00 -
[3]
Edited by: goatplasma on 23/07/2008 02:17:48
A director giving a week old member unrestricted hangar access, now that is a sign of idiotic incompetance, even by accident.
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Dirk Magnum
Spearhead Endeavors
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Posted - 2008.07.23 02:19:00 -
[4]
This thread made me go into the kitchen to see if the cereal I've been having for breakfast was corn flakes. It was Special K so I think it is corn flakes actually. Well done.
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Xornicon Altair
Woopatang The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 02:20:00 -
[5]
Originally by: goatplasma Edited by: goatplasma on 23/07/2008 02:17:48
A director giving a week old member unrestricted hangar access, now that is a sign of idiotic incompetance, even by accident.
Originally by: Xornicon Altair This was a mistake on our Director's part while he was reorganizing everything, and we fully take responsibility for this mistake.
'nuff said.
The Red Skull: http://www.eve-syndicate.com/index.php |
goatplasma
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2008.07.23 02:21:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Xornicon Altair
Originally by: goatplasma Edited by: goatplasma on 23/07/2008 02:17:48
A director giving a week old member unrestricted hangar access, now that is a sign of idiotic incompetance, even by accident.
Originally by: Xornicon Altair This was a mistake on our Director's part while he was reorganizing everything, and we fully take responsibility for this mistake.
'nuff said.
I don't see how this makes him any more competant.
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Guru
Woopatang The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 02:50:00 -
[7]
Originally by: goatplasma
Originally by: Xornicon Altair
Originally by: goatplasma Edited by: goatplasma on 23/07/2008 02:17:48
A director giving a week old member unrestricted hangar access, now that is a sign of idiotic incompetance, even by accident.
Originally by: Xornicon Altair This was a mistake on our Director's part while he was reorganizing everything, and we fully take responsibility for this mistake.
'nuff said.
I don't see how this makes him any more competant.
The point of this is its hilarious..lol I even laughed and convoed the guy. He didnt have blueprint access or anything like that, but man what sort of thief contracts the stuff back to a director!! Maybe we lost a 100mil or so due to minerals being sold.. almost worth the laugh!
Mind Over Matter: If I dont mind it dont matter.
http://www.woopatang.com |
Yatta I
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Posted - 2008.07.23 03:01:00 -
[8]
can i have your hanger access?
ill make sure your BPs are in highsec somewhere safe! ---
hey whiner, can i has your stuffs? Desusig |
Xornicon Altair
Woopatang The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 03:08:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Yatta I can i have your hanger access?
I don't know. "Can" you?
The Red Skull: http://www.eve-syndicate.com/index.php |
Yatta I
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Posted - 2008.07.23 03:15:00 -
[10]
Edited by: Yatta I on 23/07/2008 03:15:41
Originally by: Xornicon Altair
Originally by: Yatta I can i have your hanger access?
I don't know. "Can" you?
idk...
noob forum poaster from a noob corp with a noob director who gave a noob thief hanger access giving a noob english speaker engrish advice.
the world sure is a strange place.
"may" i... right
heres your cookie.
naw wheres my hanger access? ---
hey whiner, can i has your stuffs? Desusig |
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Marikhen
Zero Divide The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 03:24:00 -
[11]
Heh, stupid is as commonly done and while I gotta give the guy props for being attentive and quick on the uptake I gotta give him a two siege cannon triggers down for contracting the stuff to his "own" corp. mates and using an item exchange contract for it. Especially since, so far as I know, that's against SOP.
As for the director and title issues, yeah, not a good situation to be in. Shortly after I became CEO of my corporation I set up the title system specifically to prevent these issues and I informed the corp. that anything put into specific hangars should be considered lost. To me this sort of stuff should be taken care of ASAP and room should be left for future modifications. Of course I can also get quite Machiavellian and paranoid, when I'm thinking about the subject, so....
Oh, and screw corn flakes, I prefer Frosted Flakes, and if I really want a sugar rush I'll use generic Frosted Flakes and replace the milk with chocolate ice cream. Yee gods that is powerful juju.
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Xornicon Altair
Woopatang The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 03:29:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Yatta I "may" i
No.
The Red Skull: http://www.eve-syndicate.com/index.php |
Eternal Error
Exitus Acta Probant
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Posted - 2008.07.23 04:20:00 -
[13]
Wow.
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Kiki Arnolds
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.07.23 04:35:00 -
[14]
-Subject line 10/10 -OP 5/10
After how awsome the subject line was, I wanted the post to be in song form and was sadly disappointed...
Also, your jump frieghtor pilot should have contracted back the empty frieght containers in highsec, for 500M ç¦ |
Robert Rosenberg
Amarr Imperial Academy
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Posted - 2008.07.23 04:36:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Kiki Arnolds -Subject line 10/10 -OP 5/10
After how awsome the subject line was, I wanted the post to be in song form and was sadly disappointed...
Also, your jump frieghtor pilot should have contracted back the empty frieght containers in highsec, for 500M
I am equally disappointed. This is more like a long story about how a corp run by idiots has idiots as members.
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Guru
Woopatang The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 04:45:00 -
[16]
Quote: I am equally disappointed. This is more like a long story about how a corp run by idiots has idiots as members.
Im looking for more idiots.. you would fit right in..
Quote:
Also, your jump frieghtor pilot should have contracted back the empty frieght containers in highsec, for 500M [/
thats a good idea..
Mind Over Matter: If I dont mind it dont matter.
http://www.woopatang.com |
Dihania
Gallente SniggWaffe
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Posted - 2008.07.23 07:29:00 -
[17]
fail director, fail corp thief. I spot fail in there......
/funny story
[hr]
Sniggwaffe is recruiting
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Orogaldeo
Amarr Viziam
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Posted - 2008.07.23 08:38:00 -
[18]
Quote: I see you bolded the funny parts
_________________________________
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Rhak Amharr
Minmatar Metafarmers
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Posted - 2008.07.23 08:44:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Orogaldeo
Quote: I see you bolded the funny parts
You know, some stuff is extremely funny the first time you read it. This isn't the first time I read it though, so **** off and quote some other formerly-good stuff.
To the OP: Nicely done getting your stuff back, now kick that director of yours out for being a noob.
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Nexus Kinnon
SniggWaffe
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Posted - 2008.07.23 08:49:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Rhak Amharr To the OP: Nicely done getting your stuff back, now kick that director of yours out for being a noob.
This.
And Orogaldeo, that doesn't really work there, not to mention the fact that you didn't even give me credit for it.
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Father Dibbles
Drunks And Addicts Combined
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Posted - 2008.07.23 11:41:00 -
[21]
This thread delivers! Glad that the original mistake by your corp had a happy ending. Nice read compared to the usual filth that plagues these lands; excluding the dribbling cretinous comments ofc.
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MenanceWhite
Amarr Red Light Navy
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Posted - 2008.07.23 14:00:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Dirk Magnum This thread made me go into the kitchen to see if the cereal I've been having for breakfast was corn flakes. It was Special K so I think it is corn flakes actually. Well done.
K - special is good stuff. ---
Originally by: Torfi There's alot. That can be done. With.. corpses
Originally by: Oveur
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Lily Cole
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Posted - 2008.07.23 14:53:00 -
[23]
All we need now is the promised Corporate UI upgrades, and this thread will be complete |
Cogswin Iannyen
Caldari Minmatar Mafia
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Posted - 2008.07.23 16:04:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Dirk Magnum This thread made me go into the kitchen to see if the cereal I've been having for breakfast was corn flakes. It was Special K so I think it is corn flakes actually. Well done.
Special K is rice based, iirc.
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Nexus Kinnon
SniggWaffe
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Posted - 2008.07.23 16:23:00 -
[25]
Crunchy Nut clusters all the way.
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Xornicon Altair
Woopatang The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 17:38:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Kiki Arnolds After how awsome the subject line was, I wanted the post to be in song form and was sadly disappointed...
I apologize for the lack of song format. My talents simply do not run that direction. If you'd like to convert it to song format, by all means, have at it!
The Red Skull: http://www.eve-syndicate.com/index.php |
Ambrosious Martin
Son of Man
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Posted - 2008.07.23 18:41:00 -
[27]
Originally by: MenanceWhite
Originally by: Dirk Magnum This thread made me go into the kitchen to see if the cereal I've been having for breakfast was corn flakes. It was Special K so I think it is corn flakes actually. Well done.
K - special is good stuff.
K-holes suck big nuts... I hate falling in a K-Hole
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Xorth Adimus
Caldari Zero Divide The Red Skull
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Posted - 2008.07.23 18:55:00 -
[28]
The Ballad of Korrey, The Incompetent Corp Thief
Oh there was a pilot named Korrey, Although that may be a lie. He flew a ship, like a dipstick, and never harmed a fly.
The most he killed was a catalyst, from which he took much joy. only it fitted only for salvaging, and the pilot was flying p*ssed.
Now he wanted an Abolution. But Oh! He had no cash, and so came up with a solution. He'd steal it from his corp!
The hanger was left unlocked one day, When the red skull where on a kill spree. and korrey made his move, and cackled in his glee.
He stole all the hanger, He stole too much you see. he needed a jump frieghter used by a corpy to move it for a fee. Well now.. TRS had heard some rumours, his mouth had been running free. From checking on the contents, his scheme really was plain to see. he really was a wally, suffering with cronic stupidity, Oh and his name was Korrey.
Now he wanted an Abolution. But Oh! He had no cash, and so came up with a solution. He'd steal it from his corp!
Now the red skull are mean pirates, not to be trifled with you see. they will rip you a new hole, and eat all your family tea. So not only did he get caught by em, he got caught in 0.zee. He pleaded and he screamed he browned his cr*ppy pants, there was a stain in that pod. that could only be cleaned out with faction EMP.
Now he wanted an Abolution. But Oh! He had no cash. and so came up with a solution. he'd steal it from his corp! Be he was utterly incompitent and now he is a frozen corpse! YArr!
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Orar Ironfist
Capital Produce
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Posted - 2008.07.23 18:57:00 -
[29]
<3 to the guys in woopatang but meh on the story....needed more explosions tbh.
Pirate for Life(no matter my sec)
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Wyliee
Taurus Inc
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Posted - 2008.07.24 18:23:00 -
[30]
/me shakes head
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