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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.07 22:15:00 -
[1]
Deep Space Reporting Service -
Transcript with United Freemen Alliance [UFA]
Gendril (UFA XO / CEO PURIFY)
Posted 3-7-2009
Transcript follows:
Reporter: Mr. Gendril, it's nice to meet you.
Gendril: Yes it is isn't it.
Reporter: Er, let's get down to business. Tell me about you and your alliance.
Gendril: Gladly. I'm UFA XO. Now some people think that means I'm the top dog and commander of a huge big bloated space alliance and there's lots of truth to that, but really XO just means a Kiss and Hug. Would you like one? You look sharp in that suit.
Reporter: Um, I'm quite straight thanks.
Gendril: Well if you are tempted just keep in mind that I have tech 2 pleasure implants.
Reporter: I'll take a note. Let's refocus here. Is that it for your positions?
Gendril: Well aside from being the top dog you mean? Ho ho. Let's see, I'm also the CEO of Purify. It's sort of an actors guild who like to fly spaceships and say ôzap zapö all the time.
Reporter: Zap zap?
Gendril: Yeah, it's so much safer to say zap zap than to actually zap zap.
Reporter: Well about that UFA advertises itself as some sort of force against pirates and aggressors in Eve.
Gendril: Yes.
Reporter: Well doesn't that involve some fighting?
Gendril: I suppose we have to field a force from time to time. But listen, it's so much more important to have a good marketing campaign. Do you think we could become a huge big bloated space alliance without a good PR department? Ha! Come on. We have what, 35 separate corporations. We rock! And I'm top dog.
Reporter: Well let's talk about Pod Liberation Authority. They declared war against you and they have what, like 5 active members and have been in existence for something like a week or two.
Gendril: Exactly. They are tiny and we are huge big and bloated. So we are winning.
Reporter: I don't understand. This small deadly corporation is gutting you folks and serving you up like cold sushi fed to cats and rodents.
Gendril: Whoa whoa! Stop right there. Did I mention that we are big? And they are small?
Reporter: Yes.
Gendril: So we are winning. Ipso facto. Ergo. Matzah ball.
Reporter. Um, ah, never mind. Well look, you say are some defender of trade in Eve but where does the rubber meet the road? Pod Liberation Authority is pulverizing your forces.
Gendril: I don't know anything about that and, if I did, I deny it.
Reporter: Well UFA seems to be in denial. According to UFA's public records, http://www.unitedfreemen.net/ufakb1/ Pod Liberation Authority has had 41 kills and 19 losses. But according to API verified sources, the actual number is far far worse for you. It's more like 80 kills and 19 losses for PODLA. Take a look at http://podla.griefwatch.net/?p=main Does UFA need to lie?
Gendril: You talk about facts and truth like numbers. You need to understand something son, as top kisser and hugger, the XO I mean, I get to make truth. And you know what truth is? It's not some number or true facts, it's belief! If we believe something then it's true.
Reporter: But Pod Liberation Authority is gutting you!
Gendril: You are not listening to me. Look, have you seen our logo? It's polished artwork. It's a fierce lion with sharp claws. What does Pod Liberation Authority have? I laugh at their art department. They suck. When our members come to work, they see the lion and feel good about themselves. Again, it's all about belief.
Reporter: So you are winning the war because you have a better art department?
Gendril: Yes! Look, Pod Liberation Authority might scare us silly, and they might cut us to pieces, but at the end of the day we have our Lion logo and 35 corporations. What do they have? Maybe an accurate kill board. But they will never have XO in their title! I rock.
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Captain Pompous
Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It
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Posted - 2009.03.07 22:23:00 -
[2]
Posts relying on chatlogs, whether real or imagined, are frowned upon 
However that was pretty funny 
Yes, my name is Pompous. Yes, this has been designed for maximum deliberate effect. Sweet disclaimer eh |
Faife
Federation of Freedom Fighters
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Posted - 2009.03.07 22:33:00 -
[3]
moved to recruitment. if we had a slander forum it could go there, but (unfortunately) we don't.
but i should suggest that to the CSM, an entire subforum, that's all devoted to slander. like caod with no battle reports.
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.07 22:42:00 -
[4]
 Originally by: Faife
moved to recruitment. if we had a slander forum it could go there, but (unfortunately) we don't.
but i should suggest that to the CSM, an entire subforum, that's all devoted to slander. like caod with no battle reports.
Slander is spoken. Perhaps the term you are looking for is libel. Regardless, this is a parody of a fictional character in a fictional world. Chill.
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Funky Feeling
Ventis Secundis
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Posted - 2009.03.07 22:48:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Faife
moved to recruitment. if we had a slander forum it could go there, but (unfortunately) we don't.
but i should suggest that to the CSM, an entire subforum, that's all devoted to slander. like caod with no battle reports.
Leave it to an ex executive outcomes to try and pee on the party cake.
UFA is big.. but for the most part.. bloody brutal at doing anything but blobbing.. oh wait.. now I see why this dork is whinging...
UFA are friendly with goons. Goons never tell the truth.. ergo.. UFA feels like they should emulate their big brother.
The PODLA Kb has the kills.. and so does battleclinic. UFA is simply trying to fool their own membership into thinking they are not as mega phail as they are.
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Nexus Kinnon
Genos Occidere
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Posted - 2009.03.07 23:11:00 -
[6]
I'd like to weigh in and confirm that the UFA are really incredibly bad at this game.
Also - this probably should be in C&P.
Originally by: Sol'Kanar
I am the spermicidal cream to your semen of lies.
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.07 23:23:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Nexus Kinnon
I'd like to weigh in and confirm that the UFA are really incredibly bad at this game.
Also - this probably should be in C&P.
I agree that it should be in C&P. Seems a better place for it. I posted it here because, a long time ago, I posted another fake news story and it was moved by the moderators to this area. So in keeping with that decision I plopped it here. Looking back on it I suppose that was not the right decision.
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.07 23:26:00 -
[8]
And if anyone likes the humor here check out the visual humor on our KB poking fun at UFA. A handful are there and I promise to make more in the near future. http://podla.griefwatch.net/?p=gallery#id=images&num=8
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Jercis
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Posted - 2009.03.08 03:21:00 -
[9]
OMG LOL thats a pretty fair representation of UFA
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An Anarchyyt
Gallente
Battlestars
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2009.03.08 03:26:00 -
[10]
I often read posts about irrelevant and otherwise uninteresting alliances.
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
Second, a gentile is a non jewish person
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ALvaChi USA
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Posted - 2009.03.08 04:47:00 -
[11]
Thats funny, I cant believe you made it Nax!
Its been one of the best Empire wars so far. UFA is not that great, but they bring it on all the time.
By the way, Pod Liberators are hiring....convo for an interview if interested.
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.08 17:47:00 -
[12]
Originally by: ALvaChi USA
Thats funny, I cant believe you made it Nax!
Thanks Al.
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.09 01:21:00 -
[13]
And we are recruiting but only if you like pvp and only pvp.
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Khlitouris RegusII
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Posted - 2009.03.09 02:02:00 -
[14]
who?
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.09 03:09:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Khlitouris RegusII
who?
Pod Liberation Authority
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Souvera Corvus
Gallente
SPORADIC MOVEMENT
FOUNDATI0N
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Posted - 2009.03.09 03:17:00 -
[16]
Neither libel or slander or funny.
Essentially a bit of chest-beating with some whining about KB inaccuracies.
And yeah it should be in C&P.
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Novemb3r
Vale Heavy Industries
Molotov Coalition
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Posted - 2009.03.09 03:29:00 -
[17]
some UFA guys killed my vagabond one day.
True story.
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.09 05:27:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Souvera Corvus
Neither libel or slander or funny.
Essentially a bit of chest-beating with some whining about KB inaccuracies.
And yeah it should be in C&P.
"Neither" is properly paired with "nor" and whining is a form of complaining which was not present in the parody above. It's more of a sly recruiting move actually. Thank you for the feedback.
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Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.09 05:29:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Novemb3r
some UFA guys killed my vagabond one day.
True story.
Surely you jest?
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Lance Mineroid
Caldari
Agathon Mining and Logistics Industries
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Posted - 2009.03.09 05:42:00 -
[20]
Originally by: An Anarchyyt
I often read posts about irrelevant and otherwise uninteresting alliances.
so you read about your own irrelevant and uninteresting alliance all the time i take it.
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Souvera Corvus
Gallente
SPORADIC MOVEMENT
FOUNDATI0N
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Posted - 2009.03.09 06:54:00 -
[21]
Edited by: Souvera Corvus on 09/03/2009 06:55:28
Originally by: Naxias
Originally by: Souvera Corvus
Neither libel or slander or funny.
Essentially a bit of chest-beating with some whining about KB inaccuracies.
And yeah it should be in C&P.
"Neither" is properly paired with "nor" and whining is a form of complaining which was not present in the parody above. It's more of a sly recruiting move actually. Thank you for the feedback.
Not very sly either, being rather transparent.
You could also have pointed out that strictly speaking, I shouldn't have used more than two items in conjunction with 'neither'.
As my excuse, I would offer that I was wholly underwhelmed by a parody that hit new literary heights in "Zap, zap" and am unused to such strict grammatical standards here.
The intent of a parody being critical imitation of a slightly humourous (very slight in this case) even ridiculous nature, the charge of 'whining' stands.
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michael weels
Gallente
THE IRIS
United Freemen Alliance
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Posted - 2009.03.09 11:04:00 -
[22]
We put a whole lot of effort into beating you back, didn't we? Hardly
Imho, if pilots are stupid in empire and get killed... Fair enough, as far as KB inaccuracies, alot of our "empire creatures" dont post kills/losses at all, and that can't be helped, we'll get APi verification some day (I want it badly personally).
Oh and funneh comics, I like them =) I'll put you in the art/propaganda department, if your application to join our alliance get's approved, I heard you had been trying =)
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TheSpearOfLight
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Posted - 2009.03.09 11:15:00 -
[23]
I think what your trying to say is size does not matter, I'm afraid I'll have to disagree.
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Gendril
Purify
United Freemen Alliance
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Posted - 2009.03.09 14:12:00 -
[24]
LOL that made me laugh.
Good work keep the smack up and perhaps in the future we will notice you :P
"tech 2 pleasure implants" nice i didnt know i had them 
looking to fight back the pirates?
Website
Proud member of THE UNITED FREEMEN ALLIANCE |
Naxias
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Posted - 2009.03.09 16:18:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Gendril
LOL that made me laugh.
Good work keep the smack up and perhaps in the future we will notice you :P
"tech 2 pleasure implants" nice i didnt know i had them
 Thanks Gendril. Obviously you know it's all in good fun. Some forum rats take this sort of thing all too seriously. Now I know that I've earned payback from you and UFA and I'll take it as gracefully as you have. And enjoy those implants.
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CydonianKnight
THE IRIS
United Freemen Alliance
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Posted - 2009.03.09 18:11:00 -
[26]
Goons are neut to us. 
Check out our killboards for proof.
Also nice interview
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Obsidian Sky
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Posted - 2009.03.11 02:32:00 -
[27]
Hey! I want those implants too. :( I want a hug.
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jakashic
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Posted - 2009.03.16 17:15:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Gendril
LOL that made me laugh.
Good work keep the smack up and perhaps in the future we will notice you :P
you mean you haven't noticed the 7.4 billion isk's worth of pods we've freed?
guess we'll have to work harder
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Kaiber
Gallente
Pod Liberation Authority
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Posted - 2009.03.16 17:16:00 -
[29]
Edited by: Kaiber on 16/03/2009 17:16:08
Originally by: jakashic
Originally by: Gendril
LOL that made me laugh.
Good work keep the smack up and perhaps in the future we will notice you :P
you mean you haven't noticed the 7.4 billion isk's worth of pods we've freed?
guess we'll have to work harder
that shoulda been me
posting with main notsoez
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Eventy One
Magellan Exploration and Survey
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Posted - 2009.03.16 17:27:00 -
[30]
Wow. Nice little bit of ego stoking here; an imaginary conversation designed to convey one side of a private war, few of us actually care about.
Nice work. This should likely be kept in the proper forums CAOD.
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