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Magnus Nordir Caldari	Posted - 2009.03.26 23:39:00 - [1] Seriously, it downright scares me. Sometimes when someone tries to talk to me in the street, I'll look the other way, pretend I don't hear them, twitch and generally act like an idiot. Talking to shop clerks (pretty much the only social interaction I participate in on a regular basis) is torture, even if I reduce it to grunts and keep eye contact to a minimum. Does anyone else have similar problems and what should I do? (and no, this isn't an emo thread, I'm not sulking about my problems and I'm not going to commit suicide because someone on the internet said I should. Just sharing my thoughts)
Irida Mershkov Gallente Shadowsun Syndicate	Posted - 2009.03.27 00:11:00 - [2] No I have no problems speaking to people, sometimes I get nervous before heading into a shop, not sure why though, I always worry they'll say something to me, it's wierd. Didn't you make a thread like this not so long ago?
Dmian Gallente Gallenterrorisme	Posted - 2009.03.27 00:15:00 - [3] That's called Social Phobia. You should look for professional help. ---- Originally by: Anne M. Lindbergh There is no sin punished more implacably by nature than the sin of resistance to change
Merin Ryskin Peregrine Industries	Posted - 2009.03.27 00:16:00 - [4] Originally by: Dmian That's called Social Phobia. You should look for professional help. This. Seek professional help, you'll get far more out of it than asking random strangers (most of which are either trolls or don't know anything) on the internet. -----------
Cipher7	Posted - 2009.03.27 01:13:00 - [5] Social phobia usually related in some way to low confidence or fear of rejection. You can make your own affirmation. Sounds like this : I am a normal person. I am worthy to be accepted by others. I am capable of being fun to be around. I am capable of enjoying the company of others. Read the words. Internalize them. Believe them. Because they are true. Recite as necessary to remind yourself. ---
Abrazzar	Posted - 2009.03.27 01:20:00 - [6] Originally by: Cipher7 Social phobia usually related in some way to low confidence or fear of rejection. You can make your own affirmation. Sounds like this : I am a normal person. I am worthy to be accepted by others. I am capable of being fun to be around. I am capable of enjoying the company of others. Read the words. Internalize them. Believe them. Because they are true. Recite as necessary to remind yourself. Yeah, lying to yourself until you belief it works. It might make you twisted, rotten and distorted inside and latently volatile but if no pressure gets on you you can live that lie happily in ignorance. Better approach is to confront the sources of your fears and tackle them, destroy them, rip them to pieces and set yourself free. Deluding yourself into functioning might be easier but you'll be the weaker person for it. -------- Ideas for: Mining
ceaon Gallente	Posted - 2009.03.27 01:22:00 - [7] hmmmm interesting can this social phobia be faked ? i mean lol is a good excuse to stay hope and play eve
Kaeten Hybrid Syndicate	Posted - 2009.03.27 01:45:00 - [8] Originally by: ceaon hmmmm interesting can this social phobia be faked ? i mean lol is a good excuse to stay hope and play eve dude, the entire world is out ther adn you wanan play some more eve :/ Can't blame you was liek that before, now I hardly even play eve. So much to do, so many things to see and so many people to meet.
Cipher7	Posted - 2009.03.27 02:01:00 - [9] Originally by: Abrazzar Originally by: Cipher7 Social phobia usually related in some way to low confidence or fear of rejection. You can make your own affirmation. Sounds like this : I am a normal person. I am worthy to be accepted by others. I am capable of being fun to be around. I am capable of enjoying the company of others. Read the words. Internalize them. Believe them. Because they are true. Recite as necessary to remind yourself. Yeah, lying to yourself until you belief it works. It might make you twisted, rotten and distorted inside and latently volatile but if no pressure gets on you you can live that lie happily in ignorance. Better approach is to confront the sources of your fears and tackle them, destroy them, rip them to pieces and set yourself free. Deluding yourself into functioning might be easier but you'll be the weaker person for it. That's the beauty of it, you're not lying to yourself, just the opposite, you're telling yourself the truth for a change. Think about this for a minute. Coolio, 50 Cent and Danny Devito are ugly and have millions of fans across the globe. You're telling me that you're such an ugly, disgusting person that you're afraid of being rejected by the deli clerk? THAT's the lie. Unless you're an axe murderer or a pedophile, you ARE normal. Unless you look like the monster from Predator, nobody's gonna faint from seeing your face. And that's God's honest truth. ---
Crumplecorn Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations	Posted - 2009.03.27 02:48:00 - [10] Originally by: Cipher7 Originally by: Abrazzar Originally by: Cipher7 Social phobia usually related in some way to low confidence or fear of rejection. You can make your own affirmation. Sounds like this : I am a normal person. I am worthy to be accepted by others. I am capable of being fun to be around. I am capable of enjoying the company of others. Read the words. Internalize them. Believe them. Because they are true. Recite as necessary to remind yourself. Yeah, lying to yourself until you belief it works. It might make you twisted, rotten and distorted inside and latently volatile but if no pressure gets on you you can live that lie happily in ignorance. Better approach is to confront the sources of your fears and tackle them, destroy them, rip them to pieces and set yourself free. Deluding yourself into functioning might be easier but you'll be the weaker person for it. That's the beauty of it, you're not lying to yourself, just the opposite, you're telling yourself the truth for a change. Think about this for a minute. Coolio, 50 Cent and Danny Devito are ugly and have millions of fans across the globe. You're telling me that you're such an ugly, disgusting person that you're afraid of being rejected by the deli clerk? THAT's the lie. Unless you're an axe murderer or a pedophile, you ARE normal. Unless you look like the monster from Predator, nobody's gonna faint from seeing your face. And that's God's honest truth. I'd go with Abby on this one. While I agree that people are only going to react to you based on physical appearance and behaviour, and that it is unlikely the OP stands out in either of these regards, I agree with what you originally said Cipher in that this kind of thing is caused by 'low confidence or fear of rejection', and I submit that this lack of confidence can come from more internal, more general, or more trivial things. Since the issue in practice is the lack of confidence, and this comes from these imperceptible things, convincing yourself (correctly) that other people perceive you as normal may alleviate the day to day problems, but the issues at the core will remain unaddressed. Issues like this are caused by what you think of yourself. Realising that others do not think of you the same way makes interaction easier, but does not necessarily alter how you think of yourself. - DesuSigs
Micheal Dietrich Caldari	Posted - 2009.03.27 03:33:00 - [11] I'm the same way but really, it doesn't bother me. I talk more to my animals than I do to people, mainly because unlike people they actually listen (really they just like to just be brush but I know they listen). If I try to add into a conversation I'm usually either drowned out by another or just ignored completely. Now that I think about it I have probably typed more on this forum than I've talked to people IRL in the past year. But like I said I've been like this for over 20 years. I was a nobody in school, and I'm a nobody now. The only difference now is that I'm used to this way of life and its not so bad. I remember though back in my punk days when I was actually trying to be a part of something I would do well for a while, being semi social after several drinks and even hitting up a mosh pit or 2 but after a certain amount of time I would suddenly get hit by a massive panic attack and would think of nothing else but getting the hell out of the crowded area. But all in all though I do a lot of the same things like avert my eyes at the last instance, take several steps away from a group or find something else to pay attention to while people talk.
Cyprus Black Caldari Elitist Jerks Dara Cothrom	Posted - 2009.03.27 03:58:00 - [12] I can't talk to people in RL either. Most people are incredibly shallow and they never pass up the opportunity to show it. What would you say to someone who's entire life revolves around food, sex, and gratifying primal impulses? ______________ Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
HankMurphy Minmatar Pelennor Enterprises	Posted - 2009.03.27 04:05:00 - [13] I don't seem to have much problem talking to people however some situations (work/home/out and about) i do get some crazy social anxiety from time to time. my old man had it many times worse when he was younger. his brother flat out ended up as a hermit eventually because of his social issues. it's nothing you can't overcome with a little coaching. this is why you should get help. don't think of seeing a shrink as 'oh god they will think i'm crazy, i better just forget about it and not bother'... that's the wrong answer. if you want my opinion the best way to break a bad habit is to smash it completely. if you ask a doctor see if they agree and sign up for a public speaking course / local theatre / etc.... something that will force you to face your fear in a supportive environment (everyone else is going through the same thing you are in those settings to some degree) it sounds cripplingly difficult now (and it will take some work) but it's worth it when you kick that anxiety. like the difference between freedom and slavery. ---------- Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherf***er.
Atomos Darksun Damage Incorporated.	Posted - 2009.03.27 04:30:00 - [14] I used to be somewhat of the same before I had that all smashed through by someone I met a few years ago. Crazy fun to be around. Hot, too. I never do well in a group of friends, though, simply because I chose my friends carefully, I don't need to "fit in." I've met two or three people who have restored some of my hope for humanity. The problem being is that's two or three out of two or three thousand. Originally by: Amoxin My vent is talking to me in a devil voice... CONVERT TO LINKIFICATION! http://myeve.eve-online.com/ingameb
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins	Posted - 2009.03.27 05:18:00 - [15] I have those issues from time to time myself and I'm in a band but I have found tho that ever since I started playing gigs and being on stage it's really helped my social issues, still feel kinda awkward at times but it has gotten better.
Calvin Firenze Minmatar Firenze Heavy Industries	Posted - 2009.03.27 07:34:00 - [16] I wouldn't say I'm the same, but I am one of those people who gets highly annoyed when a random stranger just starts talking to me, I hate people for the most part. For example, I was on a smoke break at work the other day and some woman I've never met before started telling me about her cat without even introducing herself...ruined my smoke break. As for advice, find something that you can talk to, be it yourself in the mirror, an animal, your computer screen, yourself in general..etc etc and then go start a conversation with a person, but visualize whatever it is that you can talk to or just pretend they're not there. I don't know if the source of your problem is making eye contact or just general socialization, but you could give it a try. If that doesn't work, try again using the self-affirmation ritual someone else posted above me before you go out in public and talk to people.
kor anon Amarr Seerauber-Vereinigung	Posted - 2009.03.27 08:56:00 - [17] Join a club of some kind, a non threatening environment where you focus on the hobby rather than socialising. Trust me when your focusing on something else talking to people becomes really easy. Too bad most people ****ing bore me
Doomed Predator The Graduates Morsus Mihi	Posted - 2009.03.27 12:26:00 - [18] Well,I have the same problem with talking to people as well. I just freak out,start stutter and try to get whatever I wanted over with. I do have a fair amount of friends but in stores and other public places the require social interaction I try to keep it to a minimum. Just takes me a few months to get either used and friends with people or start hating them more each day. Depends on the people and amount of time I spend with them. The 'Fendahlian Collective' strikes again
Highwind Cid	Posted - 2009.03.27 18:17:00 - [19] Originally by: Doomed Predator Just takes me a few months to get either used and friends with people or start hating them more each day. . Man I feel for this one. I have a girlfriend who has this really smart ass annoying 'best' friend. (oh ya, one of 'those')She was fine for the most part in the beginning, mostly because they all are anti-social and don't talk much. Then as each day passed and every time we all hang out, she grew more, and more, and more annoying. It's to the point now where I would consider it a blessing if I never saw her face again. Basically she has these really terrible inside jokes, like reiterating sentences someone just said so it sounds funny (stupid imo). She'll correct you if you say/spell anything wrong etc. So ya, more on this later maybe, gotta go for now.
Magnus Nordir Caldari	Posted - 2009.03.27 18:38:00 - [20] That's it, I can't stand this any more. I ran screaming out of a grocery store today when a **ing **ed clerk asked if I needed help with anything (I was staring at a shelf comparing prices for **'s sake). Then I noticed everyone staring at me, and I ran back home. I know I'll never have the guts to step into that store again, the fourth one in the neighbourhood this has happened to me in.
Intense Thinker Minmatar	Posted - 2009.03.27 18:59:00 - [21] Edited by: Intense Thinker on 27/03/2009 19:00:23 Beer.... the cure is lots of beer though you might want to see a shrink, probably a strong sedative should stop you from freaking out and you can ween yourself off it slowly Pomp FTW!!!
Kaeten Hybrid Syndicate	Posted - 2009.03.27 19:12:00 - [22] getting drunk at a party opens my mouth up alot more, during the day I'm normally calm and collective. DRINK ZE BEER
Magnus Nordir Caldari	Posted - 2009.03.27 19:17:00 - [23] Edited by: Magnus Nordir on 27/03/2009 19:18:14 Originally by: Intense Thinker Edited by: Intense Thinker on 27/03/2009 19:00:23 Beer.... the cure is lots of beer though you might want to see a shrink, probably a strong sedative should stop you from freaking out and you can ween yourself off it slowly I somehow don't think drugs should be used as a solution to this. And I'm counting alcohol as a drug. I've had a serious drug problem a few years back, I'm glad that's over and I don't want to touch it with a ten-foot pole ever again. The theology professor at my university suggested this is God abandoning me because I've stopped going to church, but then again, I think this started earlier and I stopped going to church as a result. Besides, I still pray and do my Bible studies at home and carry my Bible with me at all times.
Thuranni B and D	Posted - 2009.03.27 19:19:00 - [24] Originally by: Magnus Nordir The theology professor at my university suggested this is God abandoning me because I've stopped going to church Your theology professor is a evil bastard and you should stop listening to him. Just go to a psychiatrist. He will be able to help you.
Magnus Nordir Caldari	Posted - 2009.03.27 19:35:00 - [25] Originally by: Thuranni Your theology professor is a evil bastard and you should stop listening to him. Just go to a psychiatrist. He will be able to help you. Yes, I think I'll do what some guy on the internet said instead of listening to a qualified, educated figure of authority (whose opinion I have already mentioned I didn't consider accurate). Besides, you know what they say about professors - never argue with one until you're sure you'll never need to pass another one of his exams in your life. Anyway, this was intended to be a discussion thread for people with similar problems, not a thread for our internet psychologists to show off. And the only thing a psychiatrist would to to "help" is spelling out a list of mental disorders in Latin, and hand me more drugs.
Thuranni B and D	Posted - 2009.03.27 19:42:00 - [26] Originally by: Magnus Nordir Originally by: Thuranni Your theology professor is a evil bastard and you should stop listening to him. Just go to a psychiatrist. He will be able to help you. Yes, I think I'll do what some guy on the internet said instead of listening to a qualified, educated figure of authority (whose opinion I have already mentioned I didn't consider accurate). Besides, you know what they say about professors - never argue with one until you're sure you'll never need to pass another one of his exams in your life. Anyway, this was intended to be a discussion thread for people with similar problems, not a thread for our internet psychologists to show off. And the only thing a psychiatrist would to to "help" is spelling out a list of mental disorders in Latin, and hand me more drugs. I think you have some misconceptions about psychiatrists. As far as I am aware, social phobia is generally not treated with drugs. In regards to your prof, I don't give a rats ass what degrees he may or may not have. He's a vulture feeding on your insecurities to push his own beliefs on you.
Doomed Predator The Graduates Morsus Mihi	Posted - 2009.03.27 20:11:00 - [27] Originally by: Highwind Cid Originally by: Doomed Predator Just takes me a few months to get either used and friends with people or start hating them more each day. . Man I feel for this one. I have a girlfriend who has this really smart ass annoying 'best' friend. (oh ya, one of 'those')She was fine for the most part in the beginning, mostly because they all are anti-social and don't talk much. Then as each day passed and every time we all hang out, she grew more, and more, and more annoying. It's to the point now where I would consider it a blessing if I never saw her face again. Basically she has these really terrible inside jokes, like reiterating sentences someone just said so it sounds funny (stupid imo). She'll correct you if you say/spell anything wrong etc. So ya, more on this later maybe, gotta go for now. Well,hate might be a bit strong word,but it goes from discomforted to annoyed and then to hate. Can't help it and I'm just glad i don't see the people I dislike at all,ever. Usually those who laugh at everything,even stuff that isn't meant to be a joke and people who are drunk most of the time. The 'Fendahlian Collective' strikes again
Nebulous Minmatar Thukker Zoku	Posted - 2009.03.27 20:36:00 - [28] Edited by: Nebulous on 27/03/2009 20:36:41 Originally by: Magnus Nordir Seriously, it downright scares me. Sometimes when someone tries to talk to me in the street, I'll look the other way, pretend I don't hear them, twitch and generally act like an idiot. Talking to shop clerks (pretty much the only social interaction I participate in on a regular basis) is torture, even if I reduce it to grunts and keep eye contact to a minimum. Does anyone else have similar problems and what should I do? (and no, this isn't an emo thread, I'm not sulking about my problems and I'm not going to commit suicide because someone on the internet said I should. Just sharing my thoughts) A psychiatrist should be your last resort really, you should try a "reliable" Hypnotherapist, ask your doctor if he knows of one near you, it won't be cheap (a psychiatrist wont be either) but has a good chance of working for most people, what you have is basically a phobia and hynotherapy works really well for that kind of thing. -------------------------------------------------------
Dmian Gallente Gallenterrorisme	Posted - 2009.03.27 20:46:00 - [29] Originally by: Magnus Nordir I somehow don't think drugs should be used as a solution to this. And I'm counting alcohol as a drug. I've had a serious drug problem a few years back, I'm glad that's over and I don't want to touch it with a ten-foot pole ever again. The theology professor at my university suggested this is God abandoning me because I've stopped going to church, but then again, I think this started earlier and I stopped going to church as a result. Besides, I still pray and do my Bible studies at home and carry my Bible with me at all times. Well, the only way to overcome a phobia is facing it. Phobias are basically (and simplifying a lot) a form of fear of death. If you face your phobia and realize you won't "die" on your social interaction, you'll solve your problem. Religion won't help you here, unless your theology professor is willing to confort you as you face your problem and are forced to interact with strangers. Psychology is a good solution, but it will only work if you trust it. Or have some friend or relative to accompany you to help you with this. They can help you if you suffer a panic attack on a store. But I doubt that you will be able to solve this problem alone. You'll most probably need help. And seeking professional help is still my best advice. Good luck. ---- Originally by: Anne M. Lindbergh There is no sin punished more implacably by nature than the sin of resistance to change
Terianna Eri Amarr Scrutari	Posted - 2009.03.27 22:16:00 - [30] Originally by: Magnus Nordir The theology professor at my university suggested this is God abandoning me because I've stopped going to church i'll just leave this here I would honestly go to a psychiatrist / psychologist (i keep getting them mixed up), that's what they're there for. __________________________________ Originally by: CCP Whisper Boo hoo. Cry some more.

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