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Copine Callmeknau
Kangaroos With Frickin Lazerbeams
Ninja Unicorns with Huge Horns
146
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Posted - 2012.05.16 13:15:00 -
[1] - Quote
I promised to look after a friends cat for the week.
My place has a glass atrium that goes through two levels, I have put the cat in there with enough food and water to last the week. I am looking forward to the end of the week. It is just sitting there glaring at me, it doesn't do anything else. I can tell it would like to kill me. If I knew I could get a perfect replacement cat, I would kill this one now and replace it Friday afternoon. As we sit here glaring at each other I have already worked out several ways to kill it.
The simplest would be to drop heavy items on it from the upstairs bedroom though I have enough basic engineering knowledge to assume that I could build some form of 'spear like' projectile device from parts in the downstairs shed. If the atrium was waterproof, the most entertaining would be to flood it with water. It wouldn't have to be that deep, just deeper than the cat.
I don't know how long cats can swim but I doubt it would be for a whole week. If it kept the swimming up for too long I could always try dropping things on it as well. I have read that drowning is one of the most peaceful ways to die so really it would be a win win situation for me and the cat I think.
There should be a rather awesome pic here |
Ituhata Saken
Crimson Cross Destroyers
13
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Posted - 2012.05.16 13:56:00 -
[2] - Quote
Angry Kitty does not approve. |
Tanuki Kittybeta
Sudden Buggery
7
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Posted - 2012.05.17 06:07:00 -
[3] - Quote
Sometimes i carry a cat like a machine gun and point it at people while using as a bayonet too |
Effect One
Selective Hearing
Nearly Feared
2
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Posted - 2012.05.17 08:07:00 -
[4] - Quote
My cats bully my nextdoor neighbour's dog. |
MotherMoon
Blue Republic
RvB - BLUE Republic
667
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Posted - 2012.05.17 22:04:00 -
[5] - Quote
my bunny is bigger than most cats : P |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Hulkageddon Orphanage
1150
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Posted - 2012.05.17 23:14:00 -
[6] - Quote
Actually drowning is one of the most painful ways to go, what with the taking of water into the lungs and then the convulsions.... |
Something Random
The Barrow Boys
143
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Posted - 2012.05.18 18:48:00 -
[7] - Quote
For some reason this whole thread reminded me of this
"caught on fire a little bit, just a little."
"Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangsn++ all here!" |
Grimpak
Midnight Elites
Echelon Rising
455
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Posted - 2012.05.19 06:34:00 -
[8] - Quote
whooo weird part of youtube again.
[img]http://eve-files.com/sig/grimpak[/img]
[quote]The more I know about humans, the more I love animals.[/quote]
ain't that right |
Copine Callmeknau
Kangaroos With Frickin Lazerbeams
Ninja Unicorns with Huge Horns
150
|
Posted - 2012.05.19 06:41:00 -
[9] - Quote
Grimpak wrote:whooo weird part of youtube again.
of course it's dubberyadubberyadubberya fat dash pie dot com
/me goes to watch devvo
There should be a rather awesome pic here |
stoicfaux
1070
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Posted - 2012.05.19 15:16:00 -
[10] - Quote
Copine Callmeknau wrote:If the atrium was waterproof, the most entertaining would be to flood it with water. It wouldn't have to be that deep, just deeper than the cat.
I don't know how long cats can swim but I doubt it would be for a whole week. If it kept the swimming up for too long I could always try dropping things on it as well. I have read that drowning is one of the most peaceful ways to die so really it would be a win win situation for me and the cat I think.
I don't think you understand the "relationship" between cats and water. Cat's don't swim per se, instead it's more of a walking on water thing, but, in much the same way that a hummingbird's wings flap too fast to be seen by the naked eye, a cat's water walking ability is powered by panic driven speed. In other words, there's a reason why you put the unwanted kittens in a bag before throwing bag+kittens into the river.
edit: Also, I take it that you are unaware of a cat's ability to climb walls? Even cinderblock or corrugated metal walls?
You can tell me what is and isn't Truth when you pry the tinfoil from my cold, lifeless head.
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Copine Callmeknau
Kangaroos With Frickin Lazerbeams
Ninja Unicorns with Huge Horns
156
|
Posted - 2012.05.19 15:53:00 -
[11] - Quote
stoicfaux wrote:Copine Callmeknau wrote:If the atrium was waterproof, the most entertaining would be to flood it with water. It wouldn't have to be that deep, just deeper than the cat.
I don't know how long cats can swim but I doubt it would be for a whole week. If it kept the swimming up for too long I could always try dropping things on it as well. I have read that drowning is one of the most peaceful ways to die so really it would be a win win situation for me and the cat I think. I don't think you understand the "relationship" between cats and water. Cat's don't swim per se, instead it's more of a walking on water thing, but, in much the same way that a hummingbird's wings flap too fast to be seen by the naked eye, a cat's water walking ability is powered by panic driven speed. In other words, there's a reason why you put the unwanted kittens in a bag before throwing bag+kittens into the river. edit: Also, I take it that you are unaware of a cat's ability to climb walls? Even cinderblock or corrugated metal walls?
I am relying on the cat running out of energy. Even if it eats the whole weeks supply of food for energy I think it will need sleep at some point. Or it will be too fat to float.
My glass atrium is glass, can cats climb glass? I could also fill the atrium with a small amount of oil after I put the water in. The cats paws would become too slippery to gain purchase.
This is definitely messier though. Oil is difficult to clean off glass atrium walls. Are there suggestion as to what cleaning product I should use? I would like something all natural with a low odour.
I also need a wooden box about 18 inches long 8 inches wide 6 inches deep. The lid must seal well
There should be a rather awesome pic here |
Caleidascope
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
100
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Posted - 2012.05.19 20:39:00 -
[12] - Quote
How it is done now: Washing the cat
Life is short and dinner time is chancy
Eat desert first! |
Rajan Marelona
Hedion University
Amarr Empire
3
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Posted - 2012.05.19 21:43:00 -
[13] - Quote
Copine Callmeknau wrote:I have read that drowning is one of the most peaceful ways to die
Somebody only watched the first half of "The Prestige"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbE_CR8SXqY |
Jayem See
Yulai Guard 1st Fleet
Yulai Federation
33
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Posted - 2012.05.19 22:14:00 -
[14] - Quote
I followed this link and it opened up a whole world of weird, wonderful strangeness on YouTube.
So thanks for that.
I think....
Aaaaaaand relax. |
Abyss Azizora
Viziam
Amarr Empire
36
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Posted - 2012.05.21 02:11:00 -
[15] - Quote
As someone who has actually experienced drowning. I can assure you the process is anything but peaceful. At the very end just before and while your passing out, that's the peaceful part, likely caused by lack of oxygen to the brain. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Hulkageddon Orphanage
1165
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Posted - 2012.05.21 02:33:00 -
[16] - Quote
Mine's better  |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
288
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Posted - 2012.05.21 13:38:00 -
[17] - Quote
Cat's are pretty good at cliff diving, too. No animals were harmed in the making of this Japanese film ("Milo & Otis). Well probably not. |
Louis deGuerre
The Dark Tribe
Against ALL Authorities
295
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Posted - 2012.05.21 13:45:00 -
[18] - Quote
Someone sounds like a natural talent for playing Dwarf Fortress and the endless struggle against cats
FIRE FRIENDSHIP TORPEDOES !
Louis's epic skill guide v1.1 |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Hulkageddon Orphanage
1168
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Posted - 2012.05.21 15:36:00 -
[19] - Quote
Quick! Send in water rescue cat! |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
288
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Posted - 2012.05.21 17:32:00 -
[20] - Quote
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
That's a pretty strange sight to see....  |
Obnoxious Fly
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
0
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Posted - 2012.05.21 17:38:00 -
[21] - Quote
How about just half-killing it?
A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges, and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. |
Copine Callmeknau
Kangaroos With Frickin Lazerbeams
Ninja Unicorns with Huge Horns
166
|
Posted - 2012.05.21 18:03:00 -
[22] - Quote
Obnoxious Fly wrote:How about just half-killing it?
A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges, and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid.
But the cat is in a glass atrium, not a steel atrium
There should be a rather awesome pic here |
Obnoxious Fly
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.05.21 19:38:00 -
[23] - Quote
Copine Callmeknau wrote:Obnoxious Fly wrote:How about just half-killing it?
A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges, and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. But the cat is in a glass atrium, not a steel atrium
If everyone keeps their eyes closed the wave-function won't collapse.
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