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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.07.14 09:06:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Sephy''Ra on 14/07/2009 09:17:00
Who we are:
- ASSTI is a medium sized, casual corp operating in and around the Domain region
- Our members are mostly from US and EU timezones, but anyone is welcome -- especially aussies/kiwis!!
- We engage in mission running, PvP, a bit of industry and occasionally some mining to keep the industry branch going
We offer:
- Safe access to some of the best agents New Eden's lowsec areas have to offer, and they aren't even L5s yet!
- Plenty of targets to shoot at and mates to fly with you -- mainly in Providence, Curse and lowsec Domain
- Corporate shop for any T1 ships and T2 mods on demand
- PvP-Op ship replacement scheme for those unlucky losses.
- POSs in 0.0 to provide shelter for when you just want to "rat it up"
- A relaxed athmosphere with hardly any obligations, unless you choose to take responsibility!
- A twisted sense of humor, for those familiar with the british type
Out-of-game services include:
Who we are looking for:
- Basically anyone -- notorious
 are excluded. - Semi-PvP/PvE focused people would be best
It would be great if you had at least a month of experience with the game yet as we don't consider ourselves a pitstop for those who are "just trying". Know what you want -- if we aren't for you, be realistic and don't waste your time and ours.
We require:
- A mature attitude, regardless of your actual age. Fooling around is fine and encouranged, but know when it gets silly and childish
- The limited API key information from any account you want to join with
- Be true to our cause, respect all members regardless of their age or position and follow the rules of engagement. Remember, we are not pirates, just PvP'ers!
For further info you should join our public channel "The_Trinity" or contact me via evemail. You may also file an application expressing your desire to get in contact with us and you should be served.
Finally, say hello to our very own deity:
For the Ascendant Strategies Inc. recruitment team,
Sephy'Ra
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Cavazos
Caldari
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2009.07.15 01:13:00 -
[2]
please send corp name corp pilot count and basics of corp so i can remember you and your corp....mail this to Cavazos in-game
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.07.18 16:45:00 -
[3]
We are "...making it happenÖ since 2006" so recruitment is (and will remain) open! Don't be shy, give it a try (they say) 
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.07.20 08:46:00 -
[4]
I hate to reveal this secret but ... it's not over yet! 
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.07.23 08:57:00 -
[5]
The war with MCrew is over - good fight(s) guys!
This also means there is no more waiting included for new recruits. Happy times! \ /
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.07.25 08:24:00 -
[6]
Recruitment still open. Now with extra cleavage!
Enjoy!
...
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.07.27 08:00:00 -
[7]
They say, if you sacrifice a worm to the Spiderchicken, she'll grant you a wish. Unfortunately only members of the cult may offer sacrifices to her poultry glory - so get in contact today!
Sephy
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.07.29 06:12:00 -
[8]
I heard someone really tried sacrificing a toad to the mighty Spiderchicken -- He crashed and burned miserably, enduring her wrath for multiple seconds!
No, we are not actually a roleplaying corp. Recruitment is open!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.01 07:42:00 -
[9]
There once was a spaceship of ice,
It was cool - but not very nice.
When it tried to blow up the sun,
And the cycle of melting begun,
It paid the ultimate price.
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.03 11:18:00 -
[10]
*doo-dee-dee-doo-dee-doh-dee-doo-doh-doh*
....
....
After the next tone it will be 11:16am and 40 seconds. *beep*
After the next tone it will be 11:16am and 50 seconds. *beep*
After the next tone it is finally time to inquire about this great corporation. *beep*
....
....
*klok*
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.06 12:38:00 -
[11]
So this is internet spaceships. Let's compare!
An Orca can go 13 m/s in water and 60 m/s in space. Awesome!
A Falcon can go 80 m/s in air and 159 m/s in space. Not quite as awesome, but still...
Oh yes, and we are still recruiting of course.
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.10 07:48:00 -
[12]
Could someone remove rogue drones from the spawntable please...?
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.11 18:52:00 -
[13]
On the train to Bakersfield are now 86 people.
Half of them leave at the next station and 33 people get on the train.
On the next station only 12 people exit the train, but 57 enter it.
Then there is an emergency and the last 2 wagons are removed. A third of the passengers have to wait for the next train.
On the 2nd-last station half of the remaining passengers exit the train and 25 people get on.
Question: What is the final destination of our train?
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.17 15:36:00 -
[14]
Edited to better reflect that we will NOT consider trial accounts.
Now whoever sends in those armies of 4 day olds ... no.
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.19 11:04:00 -
[15]
Remember: The enemy of your enemy is your enemy's enemy, not your friend!
Also: The friend of your friend is your friend's friend and maybe your enemy.
Now that you are a little wiser, how about you join The_Trinity and see if there is more for you to learn?
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.23 14:11:00 -
[16]
Some days there just isn't anything to report on and you don't feel witty enough to post something interesting or entertaining.
Today is such a day and I'll use it to do what I'm actually supposed to do in this thread...
BUMP!
Wow ... that was easy.
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.08.30 16:29:00 -
[17]
Do you think your agent is looking funny at you; your guns always seem to point at the ****pit (yea yea, ...); there is no corp out there that you think you'll fit into or that THE CAKE IS A LIE?!?
Well, you seem to be having multiple problems then, but I'll solve them ALL!!
a) Ask for a paperbag (100% recycled material) at your local discounter and wear it whenever talking to your agents.
b) Use a target painter. Paint ****pits on all hostile ships! This willg reatly increase your gun's accuracy!
c) What about us...?
d) The recipe for the world's most famous cake! No, it's not a lie!
1 (18.25 oz) chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut pecan frosting
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 cups all purpose flower
donÆt forget garnishes such as:
fish-shaped crackers
fish-shaped candies
fish-shaped solid waste
fish-shaped dirt
fish-shaped Ethel benzine
pull nÆ peel licorice
fish-shaped volatile organic compounds
and sediment shaped sediment
candy coated peanut butter pieces; shaped like fish
1 cup lemon juice
alpha resins
unsaturated polyester resin
fiberglass surface resins
volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yokes
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
1 cup granulated sugar
an entry called: ôHow To Kill Someone With Your Bare-Handsö
2 cups rhubarb; sliced
2/3 granulated rhubarb
1 Tbsp all-purpose rhubarb
1 tsp grated orange rhubarb
3 Tbsp rhubarb; on fire
1 Large rhubarb
1 cross bore-hole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 Tbsp rhubarb juice
adjustable aluminum head positioned
slaughter electric needle injector
cordless electric needle injector
injector needle driver
injector needle gun
cranial caps
and it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and oder control chemicalÆs that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
Enjoy!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.09.01 12:55:00 -
[18]
Every week hundreds of people found their own corps. Hoping to one day rule New Eden they put all their effort in beating goonswarm with a handful of people ... OMG! Silly people!
Fact is: Joining an existing corp with a rich history and people who actually know what they are doing is a lot less hassle than founding your own, struggling to convince some 3-day olds to join you on your epic quest.
Fact is: ASSTI will never rule New Eden either, but maybe we will at least claim a piece of space for our own, somewhere far away from the "the big evil".
Catch my drift; Join the ride! Stop queueing up for the coaster when you can just hop onto one that's already going!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.09.03 14:57:00 -
[19]
Every day, millions of people throw their 2 cents on comments in forums around the world.
Please consider spending these 2 cents on fighting poverty in India next time. Thank you!
(Please don't take me serious; I'm just bumping my recruitment thread.)
Sephy
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.09.05 08:19:00 -
[20]
/me waves * ...apparently you aren't allowed to waves on these boards.
/me breathes * ...or breathe.
/me gets out * ...or get out. *gasp* I-- I'm ...
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.09.07 15:18:00 -
[21]
King of the Hill dot dot dot dubble-u tee eff questionmark exclamationmark
So much for a random bump without abbreviations or puctuation bracket-open and I liked it bracket-close
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.09.09 14:58:00 -
[22]
What's first? Chicken or egg?
The fish of course! It had a ****** offspring which couldn't breath underwater, swim underwater and it grew feathers instead of flakes. THAT was the chicken, hatched from a fish's egg.
PS. The Spiderchicken is not an offpring of a ****** fish. It did not hatch from an egg, it was not born alive. It simply is and always will be.
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.09.12 07:47:00 -
[23]
I once met a guy and he was like:
And I was like:  
Then there was gatefires and we both were like:  
And the new ones were like:
And the first guy was like:
And I was like:
And we both warped off and they were like:
Then me and the first guy had a chat and he was like: 
And I was like: 
Then he was like: 
The he was blown up by the other guys and was all like:
...while they were like:
And I was like: 
And then I said: R E C R U I T M E N T _ I S _ O P E N !!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.09.16 15:03:00 -
[24]
*This space is for rent.*
...no actually it isn't as I don't own these boards. ASSTI owns though so so maybe you should quite Perkone already and check us out!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.10.01 15:13:00 -
[25]
I'm wondering if there are people reading my bumps solely for their personal entertainment ...
Either way; We were wardec'ed so recruitment was on hold - feel free to drop me a line again if you need information about us and/or our cause/'religion'.
Sephy
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.10.06 17:03:00 -
[26]
Oh yea, B.U.M.P.-erstickers are cool!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.10.09 15:34:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Sephy''Ra on 09/10/2009 15:35:05
Bumpdy Dumpdy was posted on the boards,
Bumpdy Dumpdy made many rum-ours.
All the empress' Slicers, and all the empress' men,
couldn't resist ASSTI ever again!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.10.10 08:31:00 -
[28]
Goose-bumps! To the top wit'ya ol' landlover. [/random]
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.10.31 11:14:00 -
[29]
Up, up and away!
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Sephy'Ra
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Transcendent
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Posted - 2009.11.11 16:12:00 -
[30]
It's been a while again, but we are still recruiting - in fact, we never reject applications without having a chat with the person, except maybe in times of war.
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