Originally by: Zax Anzyx

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10. Somehow got my ship lodged in the beams of a space station. I could see the spacestation manager thru the plexisteel glass of the observation deck mouthing the words to me, "TRY REVERSE"

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Originally by: Zax Anzyx

---

10. Somehow got my ship lodged in the beams of a space station. I could see the spacestation manager thru the plexisteel glass of the observation deck mouthing the words to me, "TRY REVERSE"

---

Originally by: Zax Anzyx

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A big Space Howdy, all!

Wel, it's my first weeks anniversary on Eve, and I gotta say, I love the game so much I've disowned my family, spurned my friends, and had my pet goldfish put down just so I can play non-stop!

I consider myself a good all-around Player, but in any game one plays for the first time, Mistakes Are Gonna Be Made. So, for everyone's eduficational humour, here are ten (10) of the Newbie Mistakes I, Zax Anzyx, Future Space Big Rig Hauler (savin' my isks!), shall now impart to you all, My New Friends (except the Caladari...they're kinda weaselly..)

10. Somehow got my ship lodged in the beams of a space station. I could see the spacestation manager thru the plexisteel glass of the observation deck mouthing the words to me, "TRY REVERSE"

9. Asked a Gallente Industrial Ship captain why his ship was so "phallic" in shape

8. Approached a space station for the first time, saw another ship get "disintegrated" by it, and frantically warped away until I realized that's how one "jumps".

7. Momentarily distracted with thoughts of becoming a pirate, I approached some Silaris Mercenaries & Guards to ask if I could be in their "fun club". They didn't like me. They did like my ship, however, or to be more specific, the pretty colors it made while BLOWING UP.

6. Thought the caution signs on my new ship's guns meant, "Be Careful When Cleaning..Don't Point Towards Head" instead of meaning, "Out Of Ammo, Moron".

5. Asked DJMoz of Eve-Radio to play Polka Music from my Lawrence Welk 8-Track tape. His head exploded.

4. Kept trying to drag "Adult Holo-Vids" onto my in-game browser.

3. Sent in a suggestion to the Developers asking if "space" could be less "big".

2. Realized, with the exact settings, one could get their character to look like Gary Coleman, former child actor of "Diff'rent Strokes". Shared knowledge with world. Made CNN.

1. Did a big ol' 17-jump mission inventory haul, then realized I had forgotten to pick up the actual cargo from the departure station. Rammed forehead repeatedly against monitor until both screen and skull developed tiny fractures.

Well, there ya have it! Hopefully, the second week will be a little kinder to me! HA! RIGHT!

Hope I Brought A Smile,
Zax Anzyx


9.
9.

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Originally by: Zax Anzyx

---

A big Space Howdy, all!

Wel, it's my first weeks anniversary on Eve, and I gotta say, I love the game so much I've disowned my family, spurned my friends, and had my pet goldfish put down just so I can play non-stop!

I consider myself a good all-around Player, but in any game one plays for the first time, Mistakes Are Gonna Be Made. So, for everyone's eduficational humour, here are ten (10) of the Newbie Mistakes I, Zax Anzyx, Future Space Big Rig Hauler (savin' my isks!), shall now impart to you all, My New Friends (except the Caladari...they're kinda weaselly..)

10. Somehow got my ship lodged in the beams of a space station. I could see the spacestation manager thru the plexisteel glass of the observation deck mouthing the words to me, "TRY REVERSE"

9. Asked a Gallente Industrial Ship captain why his ship was so "phallic" in shape

8. Approached a space station for the first time, saw another ship get "disintegrated" by it, and frantically warped away until I realized that's how one "jumps".

7. Momentarily distracted with thoughts of becoming a pirate, I approached some Silaris Mercenaries & Guards to ask if I could be in their "fun club". They didn't like me. They did like my ship, however, or to be more specific, the pretty colors it made while BLOWING UP.

6. Thought the caution signs on my new ship's guns meant, "Be Careful When Cleaning..Don't Point Towards Head" instead of meaning, "Out Of Ammo, Moron".

5. Asked DJMoz of Eve-Radio to play Polka Music from my Lawrence Welk 8-Track tape. His head exploded.

4. Kept trying to drag "Adult Holo-Vids" onto my in-game browser.

3. Sent in a suggestion to the Developers asking if "space" could be less "big".

2. Realized, with the exact settings, one could get their character to look like Gary Coleman, former child actor of "Diff'rent Strokes". Shared knowledge with world. Made CNN.

1. Did a big ol' 17-jump mission inventory haul, then realized I had forgotten to pick up the actual cargo from the departure station. Rammed forehead repeatedly against monitor until both screen and skull developed tiny fractures.

Well, there ya have it! Hopefully, the second week will be a little kinder to me! HA! RIGHT!

Hope I Brought A Smile,
Zax Anzyx


9.
9.

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