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Gather 'round and hear a tale of glorious battle!

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Lyris Nairn Caldari	Posted - 2009.07.31 04:57:00 - [1] Gather round gentle lads and hear a tale to stir the fear of God's light in your souls! Whilst out and about doing God's work at the Amarrian COSMOS site, Lyris happens upon a miner in an asteroid belt. As the individual is Achura, Lyris bid her welcome and bid that the Light of God shall shine brightly on her as she labored for the State's interest. But she was no loyal citizen of the State, by her claim! Nor did she offer respect to God and His holiness. Apostate! Lyris turned her vessel about--a Gallentean cruiser aptly used to fight enemies of the State with their own weapons. The ill-gotten spoils that the traitorous woman had filched were immediately repossessed in the name of the Holy Amarr Empire, and the challenge to battle was thrown down! Bristling with rage that she had been denounced, the heathen disengaged her mining vessel and returned moments later. She approached the field of battle with a Drake battlecruiser, and began lobbing volleys from a distance; momentarily outclassed in vessel but not in tactics, Lyris executed a tactical withdrawal only to return re-fit: with Armor Kinetic Hardeners to enshroud her vessel like God's own hand against the onslaught of Scourge Heavy Missiles. The ensuing battle was swift and decidedly one-sided; from the cold and lifeless hands of a vile heathen slipped free the mighty vessel of the Caldari State, moments before its destruction; and, as a coward, she fled the battle in a capsule. Lyris bid her never return to the space of the Holy Amarr Empire, for such shall be her fate again--and that of all enemies. Amarr Victor! 07 -- "Quite possibly the nicest person who'd ever want to kill you."
Friggz Dirt Nap Squad	Posted - 2009.07.31 05:18:00 - [2] As a public service to the C&P forum, I've translated the above into a form the regular readers on this forum can understand. Quote: Its vitally Important that I post this. So I was flyin around a COSMOS system, I find this miner and decide to can flip her. I flip the can, she warps off, comes back with a Drake, I'm in a t1 cruiser, they start volleying me at a distance, so I warped off to refit Kinetic resist, then warped back, the noob was still there and I totally owned them, they warp away in a pod. If the noob comes back I'll pwn them again. I'm so awesome. 07 ________________________________________________ Love, Friggz
Lyris Nairn Caldari	Posted - 2009.07.31 05:20:00 - [3] Originally by: Friggz As a public service to the C&P forum, I've translated the above into a form the regular readers on this forum can understand. Quote: Its vitally Important that I post this. So I was flyin around a COSMOS system, I find this miner and decide to can flip her. I flip the can, she warps off, comes back with a Drake, I'm in a t1 cruiser, they start volleying me at a distance, so I warped off to refit Kinetic resist, then warped back, the noob was still there and I totally owned them, they warp away in a pod. If the noob comes back I'll pwn them again. I'm so awesome. 07 You forgot the part about kittys. -- "Quite possibly the nicest person who'd ever want to kill you."
Friggz Dirt Nap Squad	Posted - 2009.07.31 05:44:00 - [4] I see no kittens. ________________________________________________ Love, Friggz
Lyris Nairn Caldari	Posted - 2009.07.31 05:47:00 - [5] Originally by: Friggz I see no kittens. Stealth kittens. RAWR. -- "Quite possibly the nicest person who'd ever want to kill you."
PostmasterGeneral Minmatar yo i'm posting	Posted - 2009.07.31 06:10:00 - [6] i sense much pain in this thread my recommendation is to self destruct your pod repeatedly
B'Oogie Knight Gallente Federal Navy Academy	Posted - 2009.07.31 08:10:00 - [7] Originally by: Lyris Nairn Gather round gentle lads ... Well, I stopped reading here. Sexism has no place in EVE.
Deruug	Posted - 2009.07.31 08:38:00 - [8] Edited by: Deruug on 31/07/2009 08:39:23 Edited by: Deruug on 31/07/2009 08:39:04 Originally by: Friggz As a public service to the C&P forum, I've translated the above into a form the regular readers on this forum can understand. Quote: News flash at 11. RPer flips can. Supposed female(they don't exist on the internets) tries to get retribution. I run away with my tail between my legs, refit. I return to find supposed female afk. I gank the supposed female. If the supposed comes back I'll pwn them again. I'm so awesome. 07 E-peen stroke RP style. Fixed?
Poreuomai Minmatar Mirkur Draug'Tyr Ushra'Khan	Posted - 2009.07.31 12:15:00 - [9] Originally by: Lyris Nairn Lyris happens upon a miner in an asteroid belt. Are you a pirate? You sound like a pirate! Maybe we should take this to IGS. --- *Let My People Go*
Kisumii Chimera Raiders	Posted - 2009.07.31 12:20:00 - [10] Well I liked it.
Misanth Reaper Industries	Posted - 2009.07.31 12:36:00 - [11] Originally by: Lyris Nairn snip +rep - I'd tell you why but then I'll have to kill you. And to kill you I'd have to log in. And to log in I'd have to stop browsing these forums. Both you and me knows that'll never happen.
Saehta Sigillum Militum Xpisti Novus Ordo Mundi	Posted - 2009.07.31 13:00:00 - [12] Originally by: Friggz As a public service to the C&P forum, I've translated the above into a form the regular readers on this forum can understand. Quote: Its vitally Important that I post this. So I was flyin around a COSMOS system, I find this miner and decide to can flip her. I flip the can, she warps off, comes back with a Drake, I'm in a t1 cruiser, they start volleying me at a distance, so I warped off to refit Kinetic resist, then warped back, the noob was still there and I totally owned them, they warp away in a pod. If the noob comes back I'll pwn them again. I'm so awesome. 07 Ninja Kittens There are 14 of them in the quoted post
Misanth Reaper Industries	Posted - 2009.07.31 13:06:00 - [13] Originally by: Saehta Originally by: Friggz As a public service to the C&P forum, I've translated the above into a form the regular readers on this forum can understand. Quote: Its vitally Important that I post this. So I was flyin around a COSMOS system, I find this miner and decide to can flip her. I flip the can, she warps off, comes back with a Drake, I'm in a t1 cruiser, they start volleying me at a distance, so I warped off to refit Kinetic resist, then warped back, the noob was still there and I totally owned them, they warp away in a pod. If the noob comes back I'll pwn them again. I'm so awesome. 07 Ninja Kittens There are 14 of them in the quoted post They're salvaging ma lewtz, dawg. - I'd tell you why but then I'll have to kill you. And to kill you I'd have to log in. And to log in I'd have to stop browsing these forums. Both you and me knows that'll never happen.
War Kitten	Posted - 2009.07.31 13:06:00 - [14] Thread needs moar kittens!
Neacail	Posted - 2009.07.31 13:14:00 - [15] Originally by: War Kitten Thread needs moar kittens!
Jones Bones Beyond Divinity Inc	Posted - 2009.07.31 13:27:00 - [16] Post contains description of a battle. Post is mildly humorous. C&P needs more of this. =================== Go Bucks!
PlexedLive Gallente Public Embarrasment	Posted - 2009.07.31 16:22:00 - [17] Originally by: PostmasterGeneral i sense much pain in this thread my recommendation is to self destruct your pod repeatedly this
Sergiiy Kortos The Really Awesome Players	Posted - 2009.07.31 17:48:00 - [18] Originally by: Lyris Nairn Gather round gentle lads and hear a tale to stir the fear of God's light in your souls! Whilst out and about doing God's work at the Amarrian COSMOS site, Lyris happens upon a miner in an asteroid belt. As the individual is Achura, Lyris bid her welcome and bid that the Light of God shall shine brightly on her as she labored for the State's interest. But she was no loyal citizen of the State, by her claim! Nor did she offer respect to God and His holiness. Apostate! Lyris turned her vessel about--a Gallentean cruiser aptly used to fight enemies of the State with their own weapons. The ill-gotten spoils that the traitorous woman had filched were immediately repossessed in the name of the Holy Amarr Empire, and the challenge to battle was thrown down! Bristling with rage that she had been denounced, the heathen disengaged her mining vessel and returned moments later. She approached the field of battle with a Drake battlecruiser, and began lobbing volleys from a distance; momentarily outclassed in vessel but not in tactics, Lyris executed a tactical withdrawal only to return re-fit: with Armor Kinetic Hardeners to enshroud her vessel like God's own hand against the onslaught of Scourge Heavy Missiles. The ensuing battle was swift and decidedly one-sided; from the cold and lifeless hands of a vile heathen slipped free the mighty vessel of the Caldari State, moments before its destruction; and, as a coward, she fled the battle in a capsule. Lyris bid her never return to the space of the Holy Amarr Empire, for such shall be her fate again--and that of all enemies. Amarr Victor! 07 its okay - the vexor died too.
Lyris Nairn Caldari	Posted - 2009.07.31 18:10:00 - [19] Originally by: Sergiiy Kortos Originally by: Lyris Nairn Gather round gentle lads and hear a tale to stir the fear of God's light in your souls! Whilst out and about doing God's work at the Amarrian COSMOS site, Lyris happens upon a miner in an asteroid belt. As the individual is Achura, Lyris bid her welcome and bid that the Light of God shall shine brightly on her as she labored for the State's interest. But she was no loyal citizen of the State, by her claim! Nor did she offer respect to God and His holiness. Apostate! Lyris turned her vessel about--a Gallentean cruiser aptly used to fight enemies of the State with their own weapons. The ill-gotten spoils that the traitorous woman had filched were immediately repossessed in the name of the Holy Amarr Empire, and the challenge to battle was thrown down! Bristling with rage that she had been denounced, the heathen disengaged her mining vessel and returned moments later. She approached the field of battle with a Drake battlecruiser, and began lobbing volleys from a distance; momentarily outclassed in vessel but not in tactics, Lyris executed a tactical withdrawal only to return re-fit: with Armor Kinetic Hardeners to enshroud her vessel like God's own hand against the onslaught of Scourge Heavy Missiles. The ensuing battle was swift and decidedly one-sided; from the cold and lifeless hands of a vile heathen slipped free the mighty vessel of the Caldari State, moments before its destruction; and, as a coward, she fled the battle in a capsule. Lyris bid her never return to the space of the Holy Amarr Empire, for such shall be her fate again--and that of all enemies. Amarr Victor! 07 its okay - the vexor died too. I tried the same trick on this guy. He threw explosive. S.S. Happy Kitty died quickly. :( -- "Quite possibly the nicest person who'd ever want to kill you."
Xianbei	Posted - 2009.07.31 18:10:00 - [20] another Amarr loyalist pirate using god to justify a crime /yawn. go join S3verance or something and take it to IGS
Lyris Nairn Caldari	Posted - 2009.07.31 18:16:00 - [21] Originally by: Xianbei another Amarr loyalist pirate using god to justify a crime /yawn. go join S3verance or something and take it to IGS Piracy is illegal in the Empire. Lyris is no criminal. -- "Quite possibly the nicest person who'd ever want to kill you."
Davinel Lulinvega	Posted - 2009.07.31 18:32:00 - [22] Originally by: Lyris Nairn Originally by: Xianbei another Amarr loyalist pirate using god to justify a crime /yawn. go join S3verance or something and take it to IGS Piracy is illegal in the Empire. Lyris is no criminal. Speaking in third person is a crime. Originally by: CCP Tuxford Now the op looks like a weirdo that can't read kekekeke! inb4 stealth edit
Hanso Sparxx Deep Penetration Inc.	Posted - 2009.07.31 18:59:00 - [23] Originally by: B'Oogie Knight Originally by: Lyris Nairn Gather round gentle lads ... Well, I stopped reading here. Sexism has no place in EVE. I stopped after I came to "Whilst". I sense much fail. ------------------ Go Deep!
Davinel Lulinvega	Posted - 2009.07.31 19:04:00 - [24] Originally by: Hanso Sparxx Deep Penetration Inc. Originally by: Hanso Sparxx I stopped after I came Originally by: CCP Tuxford Now the op looks like a weirdo that can't read kekekeke! inb4 stealth edit

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