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rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.19 22:32:00 -
[1]
after numerous whine (hereby refered to as "boo-boo"), threads. i deamed C&P ready for an honest and caring AGONY aunt, even tho im a fella, playing a lady! but we are not here to share my issues, no dear reader we are here to talk about you, the general eve populas and your issues. so even though i know very little, that does not stop me from being an expert and dictating how you should resolve your "boo-boo's"! please feel free to share for the AGONY aunt is in.
Sig removed. Needs more EVE-related content. Zymurgist |
rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.19 22:33:00 -
[2]
out to lunch... cookies!
Sig removed. Needs more EVE-related content. Zymurgist |
techzer0
Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2009.08.19 22:35:00 -
[3]
i have 17m can i help?
But really, wat?
------------
 Originally by: Nexus Kinnon
I could outgay you even without my pink tutu. >.>
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rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.19 22:37:00 -
[4]
Edited by: rand0 eastman on 19/08/2009 22:37:54
Originally by: techzer0
i have 17m can i help?
But really, wat?
having 17m is a precarious affair and not one to be trifled with lightly. i suggest you take a warm soapy bath!
Sig removed. Needs more EVE-related content. Zymurgist |
Ran Khanon
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Posted - 2009.08.19 22:46:00 -
[5]
Dear agony aunt,
Tonight, while I was hull repping at my mission station, I noticed two Megathron's slugging it out. It was serious business and I realized one was going to pop. I steered my nublet Harbinger towards the one which was bound to be the victim and prepared for a quick loot and dock. When the looser finally did blow to bits I was the first to open it's can. A whole range of yellow corners and perhaps even better stuff showed up and my heart jumped from excitement. Without a second though I hit CTR+A and dragged it all to my cargo and almost insta docked. At this stage I was yapping like a puppy but a nasty pop up wiped the smile off my face; "You tried to move x amount of cargo but your cargo hold, yada, yada ..."
On closer inspection in station I found that all I got were 4 cap booster 800's and I died a little inside. Of course the can was already empty when I undocked in my Bestower ...
Lesson learned; if you steal, take a little more time to do it ******* properly.
We live, we learn, we /cry.
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rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.19 22:57:00 -
[6]
your tale of woe has brought a tear not just to my eye but i hope to the eye of the whole C&P community. you are a true entrepreneur and oppertunist sir, we all make mistakes, the key is to learn from them. so next time, do it right!
Sig removed. Needs more EVE-related content. Zymurgist |
Ran Khanon
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Posted - 2009.08.19 23:05:00 -
[7]
I will, dear agony aunt. I can't stand the idea of any more **** ups like this. And thank you for your kind words. They are certainly consoling.
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Sergiiy Kortos
The Really Awesome Players
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Posted - 2009.08.19 23:19:00 -
[8]
Dear Agony Aunt(y),
Yesterday I was merrily going around my business in Motsu and stumbled onto a floating acceleration gate in space. It beckoned me and I complied. What i found on the other side was ... El Dorado. Golden triangles filled the deadspace sky, their innards filled with lootz of un-imaginable worth! 2 others were there with me, big white incomplete boxes - but there was enough for everyone... so i thought.
I made haste to rummage through the shiny triangles of loot taking only the most prized of items to conserve my diminishing cargo space. The two white incomplete boxes drew precariously close to my otherwise un-interrupted treasure hunt ... and then they began to FIRE!
Oh Aunty it was horrible! my shileds they were negatively affected by the VILLANOUS action of the rouge boxes and showed a sliver of red. In care-rage i ordered my missiles to fire... nothing happened... then i hit f1-f7 and it worked!
Long and hard did the whiteboxes (now EVIL red) and me do battle, and only 30 seconds later did i manage to cause the RED box to explode.
Oh the WOE - this is why i am saddened. The villanous, now RED boxes, called in multiple other rouges to assist in the looting and they piled into El Dorado. I was unable to perform retrebutionary action on the new rouges because OF FALCON! and had to sit there with remote rep support untill the horde tired.
NERF FALCON AUNTY (TL:DR)
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rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.19 23:37:00 -
[9]
i am happy to hear that taking a course of F1-7 worked for you, as missles refusing to ignite is not an uncommon problem, especially during times of apparent stress, let alone coupled with actions of detestable villany.
alas the triangles of purest loots, i truely wish i could attest to such a sight let alone partake in the pilfering of its bountiful undergirths, so my envy is for you and my sorrow at the rudeness of others, for their gluttony. take heart, these things have a habit of recurring, life in cirlces and other lion king wisdoms, so there will be ample oppertunity to revisit that wonderus land but please take heed on this one piece of advice, bring corp mates, that way you will not have to concern yourself with trival matters of cargo micro management and plunder till your heart beats purest goldblack.
even though it is within my power to nerf the falcon, i feel it would be unjust as one day you may need one and wish you could go back in time to this day and change your mind, plead with me to take it back and let you use one in their original form to pureify the incompitent.
Sig removed. Needs more EVE-related content. Zymurgist |
LisaLove
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Posted - 2009.08.20 15:34:00 -
[10]
what a very sincere service you are offering here
my problem, i am also a man trapped in a female avatar any advice on how i can tell my parents?
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Jaggati Khan
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Posted - 2009.08.20 16:40:00 -
[11]
Dear Aunty,
The other day i purpose to steal *cough* aquire some loots from a suicide ganker in high sec. I had waited in my ity III for around an hour when up popped teh yellow box of loveliness (and a horde of CONCORD)unfortunatley my warping was not so fast and i mr hauler alt got to the can before my warp had disengaged... how could i possibly remedy this??
Yours truly
me
ps. i am a fat man stuck inside a thin mans body - what dio a i dooo?? 
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rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.20 17:20:00 -
[12]
Originally by: LisaLove
what a very sincere service you are offering here
my problem, i am also a man trapped in a female avatar any advice on how i can tell my parents?
in order to talk about and thus open up about one's self, one must first understand ones self. what i mean is that it would do no good telling your parents without understand the route of your boo-boo!
to elaborate. there are, in my awesome experience, two causes of "man trapped playing in female avatar syndrome"(its official name). so i will outline the two to help you understand the nature of your boo-boo!
1. the male ego; this is an ego and control problem that some suffer from. the inability to create a new persona, in which, the fictional counterpart is of a more important or powerful stature than the real life equivalent. as such if given a choice, the role player, will choose a female persona. the reason for this is to further distort the experience and roleplay to accomodate the ego, by allowing it to realize the true fictitious nature of the roleplay experience thus alowing the ego to control the character rather than feel demasculinized by it.
2. generbending; contrary to popular belief this has little to do with physically wanting to be a woman and as such is more freudian in nature. it is baseless scientific fact that there are no women on the internet and thus it is the subconcious desire of the role player to fill that void with a new persona and become the object of sexual desire for an internet hard-on, in order to fill the void of their real life counterparts lackluster sexual dominance. many trolls will try and have you believe that it is their desire to use this in order to troll and that they deserve a third catagory; use for trolling. THIS IS NOT TRUE. this is a psychological subconscious defense mechanisim, produced by the afforementioned ego in order stem their feelings of impotence towards their own sexual dominence, case and point being that more "male" characters would believe that you are in actual fact a "female", if you were to roll a "male" character and double bluff, creating a true trolling persona rather than that of the genderbender in denial.
these two fundamentals are not limited just to the male pshyche, the opposite would be true if women were to role a "male" persona, that is;
1. the female ego. this is the opposite of the male ego condition, in that a female would roll a male persona,to feel empowered by their counterpart rather than the emasulation the "male" ego would feel.
2.fear. this ties closely to the first condition but has less to do with empowerment and much more to do with the opposite of the "males" condition. they desire an easier roleplaying experience and as such fear both sexual descrimination and the internet ***** that awaits them at every corner. thus they hide under the guise of the umbrela of a powerful male persona hoping that it will dissuade a casual observer and allow them a sense of freedom. this is a tried and trusted method, as the male ego will find it difficult to believe off hand that a male fictional persona is being played by non other than a male, it does however testify to a weakness of character on the females side as yarring! holds no sexual discrimination!
on to the point of which of the male conditions you suffer from, only you can answer, it is all too easy to sway to the first point and hide under the defense of the male ego but that is not as common a reason as the second. it is normally self evident within the name of the counterparts persona, the more femanine the name (thus completing the persona rather than making a mockery of it), the more likely you are the later! be honest with yourself and either tell those you care about that you are a control freak and ego maniac, or that you are just in need of sexual attention!
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Avan Sercedos
The Tuskers
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Posted - 2009.08.20 17:30:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Avan Sercedos on 20/08/2009 17:34:54
Edited by: Avan Sercedos on 20/08/2009 17:32:42
Edited by: Avan Sercedos on 20/08/2009 17:31:43
Dear AGONY Aunty,
Just yesterday, I jumped into high sec, when the police announced that criminals would not be tolerated. So of course, I was like COOL! I hate criminals! They deserve to get untolerated! So I started warping my freighter to the next gate when these pirates scrambled me!!!!! and then they killed me!! Why did the police let this happen?!
XOXOXOXO
Avan
edit: my pod too!!
edit: and my pod too
edit: and my edit too |
rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.20 17:31:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Jaggati Khan
Dear Aunty,
The other day i purpose to steal *cough* aquire some loots from a suicide ganker in high sec. I had waited in my ity III for around an hour when up popped teh yellow box of loveliness (and a horde of CONCORD)unfortunatley my warping was not so fast and i mr hauler alt got to the can before my warp had disengaged... how could i possibly remedy this??
Yours truly
me
ps. i am a fat man stuck inside a thin mans body - what dio a i dooo??
i feel the answer to both of these issues is eat less and move more, because you rack disaprin, if you dont prepare and move enough to eat the loots, they are left for those who are. same applies for food if you are prepared and move enough, the foods shall surely be yours. |
rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.20 17:38:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Avan Sercedos
Edited by: Avan Sercedos on 20/08/2009 17:32:42
Edited by: Avan Sercedos on 20/08/2009 17:31:43
Dear AGONY Aunty,
Just yesterday, I jumped into high sec, when the police announced that criminals would not be tolerated. So of course, I was like COOL! I hate criminals! They deserve to get untolerated! So I started warping my freighter to the next gate when these pirates scrambled me!!!!! and then they killed me!! Why did the police let this happen?!
XOXOXOXO
Avan
edit: my pod too!!
edit: and my pod too
one does not become a criminal until one has performed a criminal act, that act just so happened to be you, so take solice in knowing as surely as exploits are banable concord did not tollerate those entrepreneurial "criminals". |
Avan Sercedos
The Tuskers
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Posted - 2009.08.20 17:42:00 -
[16]
Originally by: rand0 eastman
one does not become a criminal until one has performed a criminal act, that act just so happened to be you, so take solice in knowing as surely as exploits are banable concord did not tollerate those entrepreneurial "criminals".
Thankys aunty!
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Dawts
Interstellar Brotherhood of Gravediggers
Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2009.08.20 17:43:00 -
[17]
I came expecting a terrible thread.
I left feeling not too bad about being wrong.
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Speshtard
Amarr
Malevolent Intentions
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Posted - 2009.08.20 17:56:00 -
[18]
Originally by: rand0 eastman
partake in the pilfering of its bountiful undergirths
Best thing I've read in C&P all week.
_________________________________________________
If you're tired of all this 'Paste this into your signature' crap, paste this into your sig.... Oh crap. |
LisaLove
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Posted - 2009.08.20 19:46:00 -
[19]
aunty i am truely enlightened thank you for your time.
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Malcolm Roberts
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Posted - 2009.08.20 23:57:00 -
[20]
Dear Agony Aunt,
I am a native Gallente, but as I became a young man I fell for the ideals of the Caldari (specifically, the Way of the Missile) and fell in love with a Caldari woman.
This woman, named Hartoh Otaranta, was sweet, lovely, and a Caldari patriot. She seduced me into joining the Caldari fight against the Guristas, and then...my former countrymen, the Gallente.
Now the Gallente consider me a traitor and a criminal, and try to kill me at ever turn. And I have just received word that my dear old mum in Dodixie is ill and may not live a fortnight. How may I persuade the Gallente not to kill me so I may see my sweet dear Mum before she passes?
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rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.21 00:07:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Malcolm Roberts
Dear Agony Aunt,
I am a native Gallente, but as I became a young man I fell for the ideals of the Caldari (specifically, the Way of the Missile) and fell in love with a Caldari woman.
This woman, named Hartoh Otaranta, was sweet, lovely, and a Caldari patriot. She seduced me into joining the Caldari fight against the Guristas, and then...my former countrymen, the Gallente.
Now the Gallente consider me a traitor and a criminal, and try to kill me at ever turn. And I have just received word that my dear old mum in Dodixie is ill and may not live a fortnight. How may I persuade the Gallente not to kill me so I may see my sweet dear Mum before she passes?
take solice young one, for all is not lost. return to your roots and you shall pass, for the way of the pod pilot is what you seek. the gallente have not the veracity of a true yar and wont deprive even a traitor such as yourself of their gooey womb.
p.s. make sure her clone is up to date!
Sig removed. Needs more EVE-related content. Zymurgist |
Knuckle Shuffle
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Posted - 2009.08.21 01:17:00 -
[22]
Dear Aunty,
This is boring,get a life
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rand0 eastman
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2009.08.21 01:24:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Knuckle Shuffle
Dear Aunty,
This is boring,get a life
if projected boredom is your boo-boo, then it is time for time out. to recenter oneself in such an extreme case as this, it is my prognosis that without a large dose of hulk smash high sec gankery, the boredom may begin to compress and eventual lead to an eruption in the sphincter. so please as this is serious business, take heed of my advice and begin treatment immediately!
Sig removed. Needs more EVE-related content. Zymurgist |
Knuckle Shuffle
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Posted - 2009.08.21 01:28:00 -
[24]
What words of wisdom!!!
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Yrielle Vandis
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Posted - 2009.08.21 10:43:00 -
[25]
Dear Aunty,
Unfortunately, I have no Boo-Boo to speak of at this moment in my career.
However, I wish to thank you for your highly enlightening words, and I take heart that there are people in this big, bad universe that truly care about us, and who are willing to offer us comforting words, and who show us the way to freedom.
A foe without honour, is a foe already beaten. |
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