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Humuhumunukunukuapua'a
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Posted - 2009.08.31 10:19:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Humuhumunukunukuapua''a on 31/08/2009 10:30:22 well, i was bored one day with just hauling ore for my carebear friends. so what did i do? i fit out a maller cruiser, and went looking for people to harass. well, i was in a system call rausumusses or somethuing like that, and found a corp that every time i can flipped them, would send pvp types after me. well, needless to say this was exactly what i was looking for. the first couple days i only killed a couple drakes, a retreiver, couple hauelrs cruisers and frigates, nothing to spectacular. did i meantion i was always outnumbered at least 3 to one, sometimes 7 to one? ya really funny fail fights on their behalf. well, i think it was the third day of harrassing these guy, when i go to their usual belt, find a bunch mining, 2 drakes were guarding, cuz they saw me in local. i rush in, take the can, of course not caring that they have points and webs on the fail drakes, and i saw the apoc, but figured it was a mining bs so wasnt worried.
i grab the can, and the apoc sends drones one me...BIG and welcome surprise to me. i put my point and web on the apoc, and begin orbiting and firing my small lasers. the drakes opened fire on me, but since their damage was minimal, maybe 80 hp a volley, i wasnt too concerned. after about 3 minutes, i finally take down the apoc, sadly i couldnt pod kill. i gave out my "YAARRR" yell and did a quick happy dance.
ok, now i had 2 drakes, pointing me, webbing me, and chasing me faster than i can move. i decide wth, lets go down fighting, so i proceed to attack the drake that had the point and web on me. after about a minute of me firing away, his shields are at around 15%...can some one say failfit? sadly he had a warp stab on as well, apaprently they were all fitting them to get away from me. lame. any ways, he warped off, and i was free to warp...but the evil sadistic self in me decided to stay. by this time i was at around 30% armor, and facing a drake in my T1 cruiser. so what did i do? "YARR!" went in and attacked. i failed, he also had a warp stab on. lame right?
so in warps a cruiser, i think a caracle, cant remember. im thinking "oh crap, im at 20% armor, and this guys gonna pop me. but he didnt think to stay away, and got in too close, web+point+close in damage...he died in about 20 seconds. ok time to warp out.
end of the day, killed a apoc, and a cruiser (i think caracal but dont quote me), and survived/forced to flee, 2x drakes. all in my T1 maller.
after that episode...im seriously considering joining the dark side. oh yes...and the tears were flowing...omg careabear tears and overconfident "PVPers" tears...so delicious. this was a story that i hope some heartless souls can find enjoyment out of. and may some other lucky chap have the evil fun that i did.
P.S. please forgive any spelling errors, im not a good speller or good at grammar. i kill things.
im at work so cant get to the km, i will post it when i get home.
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Captain Pompous
Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It
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Posted - 2009.08.31 10:37:00 -
[2]
Damn you and your name  ---
I was going to run for CSM but life waylaid me :( |

PlexedLive
Gallente Public Embarrasment
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Posted - 2009.08.31 10:47:00 -
[3]
cool story bro
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JemtekTSP
Amarr Active Fusion
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Posted - 2009.08.31 10:49:00 -
[4]
IS THIS GAME? (please confirm!)
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Xenofarion
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.08.31 10:54:00 -
[5]
Originally by: JemtekTSP IS THIS GAME? (please confirm!)
Conforming that this is game  Also confirming that the OP's name causes eye cancer.
fake-edit: Also wondering how a group manages it to lose 7 ships to one Maller  Maybe 17 million will help? -- those who can, do those who can't, complain |

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a
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Posted - 2009.08.31 10:59:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Xenofarion
Originally by: JemtekTSP IS THIS GAME? (please confirm!)
Conforming that this is game  Also confirming that the OP's name causes eye cancer.
fake-edit: Also wondering how a group manages it to lose 7 ships to one Maller  Maybe 17 million will help?
lol my original name was apaprently racist. so i changed it to the state fish of hawaii. so people just call me fish now.
and ya...they failed hard. the funniest part, is that after i was packing up to leave, i was asked who payed me. wth right, payed me for what? turns out some of them thought some one hired me to go wage a one man war against them. EPIC lols.
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Nidhiesk
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Posted - 2009.08.31 11:07:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Xenofarion
Originally by: JemtekTSP IS THIS GAME? (please confirm!)
Conforming that this is game  Also confirming that the OP's name causes eye cancer.
fake-edit: Also wondering how a group manages it to lose 7 ships to one Maller  Maybe 17 million will help?
lots of luck in this one cause these guys have no clue to what pvp is ? if they new..well dont use "big" guns against a cruiser lol. Unless you got a good fit (target painter) or your prepared to hit him correctly. These guys had no clue to their fitting anyway. totally clueless. I love those guys lmao
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Lexa Hellfury
Incura
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Posted - 2009.08.31 11:10:00 -
[8]
Hey, pretty cool story. Reminds me of this one time a bunch of carebears tried to kill me cuz I can-flipped them.
Originally by: RedSplat The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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Lola Fang
Space Assassination Service
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Posted - 2009.08.31 11:12:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Humuhumunukunukuapua'a Edited by: Humuhumunukunukuapua''a on 31/08/2009 10:30:22 well, i was bored one day with just hauling ore for my carebear friends. so what did i do? i fit out a maller cruiser, and went looking for people to harass. well, i was in a system call rausumusses or somethuing like that, and found a corp that every time i can flipped them, would send pvp types after me. well, needless to say this was exactly what i was looking for. the first couple days i only killed a couple drakes, a retreiver, couple hauelrs cruisers and frigates, nothing to spectacular. did i meantion i was always outnumbered at least 3 to one, sometimes 7 to one? ya really funny fail fights on their behalf. well, i think it was the third day of harrassing these guy, when i go to their usual belt, find a bunch mining, 2 drakes were guarding, cuz they saw me in local. i rush in, take the can, of course not caring that they have points and webs on the fail drakes, and i saw the apoc, but figured it was a mining bs so wasnt worried.
i grab the can, and the apoc sends drones one me...BIG and welcome surprise to me. i put my point and web on the apoc, and begin orbiting and firing my small lasers. the drakes opened fire on me, but since their damage was minimal, maybe 80 hp a volley, i wasnt too concerned. after about 3 minutes, i finally take down the apoc, sadly i couldnt pod kill. i gave out my "YAARRR" yell and did a quick happy dance.
ok, now i had 2 drakes, pointing me, webbing me, and chasing me faster than i can move. i decide wth, lets go down fighting, so i proceed to attack the drake that had the point and web on me. after about a minute of me firing away, his shields are at around 15%...can some one say failfit? sadly he had a warp stab on as well, apaprently they were all fitting them to get away from me. lame. any ways, he warped off, and i was free to warp...but the evil sadistic self in me decided to stay. by this time i was at around 30% armor, and facing a drake in my T1 cruiser. so what did i do? "YARR!" went in and attacked. i failed, he also had a warp stab on. lame right?
so in warps a cruiser, i think a caracle, cant remember. im thinking "oh crap, im at 20% armor, and this guys gonna pop me. but he didnt think to stay away, and got in too close, web+point+close in damage...he died in about 20 seconds. ok time to warp out.
end of the day, killed a apoc, and a cruiser (i think caracal but dont quote me), and survived/forced to flee, 2x drakes. all in my T1 maller.
after that episode...im seriously considering joining the dark side. oh yes...and the tears were flowing...omg careabear tears and overconfident "PVPers" tears...so delicious. this was a story that i hope some heartless souls can find enjoyment out of. and may some other lucky chap have the evil fun that i did.
P.S. please forgive any spelling errors, im not a good speller or good at grammar. i kill things.
im at work so cant get to the km, i will post it when i get home.
A bit hard to belive. A drake doi8ng 80 damage a volley to cruiser?
BTW Your kills are in combat log tab of character sheet. ---------------- "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
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Lexa Hellfury
Incura
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Posted - 2009.08.31 11:20:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Lola Fang A bit hard to belive. A drake doing 80 damage a volley to cruiser?
You realize carebears fit 4 SPRs on their Drakes, yes?
Originally by: RedSplat The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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omgdutch2005
Gallente Advanced Planetary Exports Intergalactic Exports Group
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Posted - 2009.08.31 11:21:00 -
[11]
Killmails on BC or FAKE! 
if it aint fake: good going :P 
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Lexa Hellfury
Incura
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Posted - 2009.08.31 12:16:00 -
[12]
Originally by: omgdutch2005 Killmails on BC or FAKE! 
****** 
Ask Lady Spank about her Nyx.
Originally by: RedSplat The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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Lady Spank
Amarr Sekret Kool Klubb
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Posted - 2009.08.31 12:49:00 -
[13]
Pesky rifters.
The quality of my replies is directly related to the QQuality of the opÆs comments |

Blasphemour
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Posted - 2009.08.31 13:46:00 -
[14]
I call bullshait without killmails.
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Psychotic Maniac
Caldari Head Shrinkers
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Posted - 2009.08.31 16:00:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Blasphemour I call bullshait without killmails.
km or not, would you take this guy serious with a name like that. i see any cruiser could take an apoc. get close to him and he can't hit you, it's that simple 
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Grann Thefauto
Spook Division BricK sQuAD.
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Posted - 2009.08.31 16:28:00 -
[16]
Obviously fake unless OP provides video in MKV format with appropriate soundtrack.
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Red zeon
Caldari Circle of Shadows Novus Ordo Mundi
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Posted - 2009.08.31 17:40:00 -
[17]
in the last week, ive solo killed suprisingly many drakes in lowsec thats been fitted with assault missile launcher I
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PostmasterGeneral
Minmatar yo i'm posting
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Posted - 2009.08.31 17:43:00 -
[18]
man i tried to read your post but couldn't get past your name
you will be un-targetable in fleet battles
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Ralnik
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Posted - 2009.08.31 18:34:00 -
[19]
BS's are really not that hard to solo in a cruiser, it's just most people are too scared to try or the BS has back up. It's just a matter of killing the drones orbiting at 500 and having the DPS to break his tank. (AB cruisers FTW)
I play Jita 4-4 docking games, because I use this alt to run the market as he trains. I've made a few BS's dock up flying just a Rupture which does have the killing power to break a passive tank BS.
However, I do question the last part because while a small laser Maller can have a Awesome tank, it just doesn't have the killing power to break a decent tank. The Apoc must of had a horrible fail tank if a small laser Maller could take it down.
Then again maybe the Apoc was set up for fleet sniping and didn't have much of a tank which could explain it.
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Lexa Hellfury
Incura
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Posted - 2009.08.31 20:26:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Lexa Hellfury Hey, pretty cool story. Reminds me of this one time a bunch of carebears tried to kill me cuz I can-flipped them.
I win again 
Originally by: RedSplat The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
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Herty
The Sexy Carebear Boredom Convention
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Posted - 2009.08.31 21:11:00 -
[21]
I almost killed an abbadon in providence in a punisher once but a cva crow came in and ruined my day when he was in 10% structure. So yeah dont doubt that a maller can break a bs tank.
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THE L0CK
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Posted - 2009.08.31 21:19:00 -
[22]
Just a fyi my mains account was perma banned for making a forum breaking name.
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The Mover
The Sexy Carebear Boredom Convention
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Posted - 2009.08.31 23:24:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Herty I almost killed an abbadon in providence in a punisher once but a cva crow came in and ruined my day when he was in 10% structure. So yeah dont doubt that a maller can break a bs tank.
You alive dude? Signature graphics that may only contain your character name, corporation logo, corporation or personal slogan or other text that is directly related to your in-game persona, or content directly related to Eve Online. All content must be in good taste. Applebabe |

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a
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Posted - 2009.08.31 23:32:00 -
[24]
sry for not posting the km earlier. no time. and like i said, they was all carebear failfits. not claiming this was me being super invincilbe or anything. just me having a awesome tear collecting day. its a miner BS like i said.
here is the BS km:
2009.08.10 23:51:00
Victim: Princess Vivika Corp: Barr Heavy Industries Alliance: NONE Faction: NONE Destroyed: Apocalypse System: Raussinen Security: 0.5 Damage Taken: 27965
Involved parties:
Name: Humuhumunukunukuapua'a (laid the final blow) Security: 0.6 Corp: Warring Industrialists Incorporated Alliance: Blood.Bound Faction: NONE Ship: Maller Weapon: Medium Pulse Laser II Damage Done: 27965
Name: Thorn Rocket / Guristas Damage Done: 0
Destroyed items:
Heat Sink I Expanded Cargohold II Medium Capacitor Battery I Co-Processor I Multifrequency L Miner II, Qty: 2 Dual Heavy Afocal Pulse Maser I 800mm Reinforced Nanofiber Plates I Rich Plagioclase, Qty: 2139 (Cargo) Damaged Artificial Neural Network (Cargo) Dual Heavy Beam Laser I
Dropped items:
Heat Sink I Tripped Power Circuit (Cargo) Warp Scrambler II Salvager I Radio L Co-Processor I Miner II, Qty: 2 Stasis Webifier I Small Tractor Beam I Scorched Telemetry Processor, Qty: 2 (Cargo) Rich Plagioclase, Qty: 319 (Cargo) 400mm Reinforced Steel Plates I Large Shield Extender I
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Stuart Price
Caldari The Black Rabbits The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2009.09.01 00:05:00 -
[25]
More evidence of Maller win - he did all the real work, honest! Putting the 'irate' into 'Pirate' |

Thingymawotzit
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Posted - 2009.09.01 03:31:00 -
[26]
Nice work.
You should use blasters on your maller instead though. And a mag stab. I can see you doing some good things.
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Roastedpot
Blutkinder
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Posted - 2009.09.01 05:42:00 -
[27]
<3 your name
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Beardponderer
You're Doing It Wrong
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Posted - 2009.09.01 06:00:00 -
[28]
                                    
                                   
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Roastedpot
Blutkinder
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Posted - 2009.09.01 06:01:00 -
[29]
i wish i could read that.. but it hurts my eyes. looks nice though
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ScrubberNut
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Posted - 2009.09.01 06:16:00 -
[30]
Why havent you posted on your corps killboard??
Infact battleclinic KB doesnt mention it either!
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