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BROSKI: THE FIGHT TO SAVE THE GALAXY

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Alizandro Goderaski Minmatar Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:16:00 - [1] BROSKI: THE FIGHT TO SAVE THE GALAXY WRITTEN BY ELFTOR ELFTOR HAD BEEN FLYING HIS DOMINIX FOR A FEW HOURS AROUND THE BELTS OF ISINOKKA, CHECKING THE BELTS FOR PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T LIKE BROSKI OR WERE MINING AGAINST BROSKIS WILL. "ANOTHER DAY WITH NO BAD PLAYERS" ELFTOR CHUCKLED IN CORP-COMMS. HE WAITED FOR THE USUAL RESPONSE FROM ALL HIS FAVORITE BROS LIKE GOIFENSEDES AND ROLFOS. BUT THERE WAS NONE THERE WAS NOTHING AT ALL. "THIS IS ODD" YELLED ELFTOR, HOPING SOMEONE WAS LEFT TO HEAR WHAT HE WAS SAYING. BUT THERE WAS NO ONE. ELFTOR HAD NEVER BEEN ALONE BEFORE, SO HE CHECKED THE /V/BROS COMMS. "THANK GOD ELFTOR YOU ARE HERE SOMETHING BAD HAS HAPPENED." SAID ONE PERSON. THAT PERSON WAS ALSO SAFE AND THAT PERSONS NAME WAS TERRIBAD. "I HAVE IT FROM HIGH AUTHORITY THAT ALL YOUR BROS WERE KIDNAPPED AGAINST THEIR WILL BY THE ONE WHO CANNOT BE NAMED." "YOU DON'T MEAN..."ELFTOR GASPED. "YES, I MEAN GOSHEE AND THE COMPASS!!!" SCREAMED TERRIBAD. END OF CHAPTER ONE
Vasili Z Minmatar Cosmic Odyssey BricK sQuAD.	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:20:00 - [2] first ------- Going to kill you in Dust 514
Alizandro Goderaski Minmatar Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:21:00 - [3] CHAPTER TWO: ELFTOR FACES THE CONSEQUENCES ELFTOR KNEW WHAT HE HAD TO DO. HE HAD TO SAVE THE BROSKI AND DEFEAT THE COMPASS WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN PUTTING THE BROSKIS DOWN. ELFTOR GOT INTO HIS FAVORITE FRIGATE, THE TRISTAN. THE TRISTANS NAME WAS ELFTORBOAT. THE TRISTAN HAD AN MWD ON AND A WEB AND SCRAM AND GUNS. ITS DRONES NAME WAS JAMES. ELFTOR GOT IN THIS SHIP AND SET AUTOPILOT TO JITA. HE SHOT OUT OF THE STATION REALLY FAST AND CHECKED OVER HIS SHOULDER. HE WAS TAKING THE EXPRESS LANE!!! ELFTOR GOT TO JITA AND WAS BUYING A NEW SHIP TO FLY. IT WAS GOING TO BE A BRUTIX. AS HE WAS CARRYING THE BOX WITH THE BRUTIX PARTS IN IT BACK TO THE HANGAR, HE SLIPPED ON A PIECE OF PAPER. "WHOA!!!!' WHISPERED ELFTOR. HE SLIPPED AND DROPPED THE BRUTIX. HE PICKED UP THE PAPER. IT SAID: "PLEASE HELP US ELFTOR, WE WERE KIDNAPPED BY THE COMPASS IN AN EFFORT FOR THEM TO TAKE OVER CLOUD RING AND BLACK RISE. FROM YOUR BEST FRIEND WIAWYR HUNTER. THE END" ELFTOR KNEW THAT WIAWYR WAS PLANNING A SPECIAL NIGHT FOR HIM AND ELFTOR TO CELEBRATE THE SUCCESS OF THEIR LATEST WORMHOLE ADVENTURES. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME THEY COULD JUST HANG OUT AND PLAY HALO AND THEN SLEEP IN BUNKBEDS, BUT NOW HE WAS GONE. AND SO WAS BROSKI. ELFTOR PICKED UP HIS SHIP PARTS AND SPRINTED TO THE HANGAR, WHERE HE PUT THEM TOGETHER AND GOT INTO THE BRUTIX. "NOW IS TIME TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF BEING THE DEFENDERS OF OUR CAUSE" ELFTOR SCREAMED! END OF CHAPTER TWO
Rolfos Caldari Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:27:00 - [4] CHAPTER THREE: BROSKI FUNERAL ELFTOR WAS HEADING TO THE ENALURI GATE WHEN HE SAW A POD. THE POD WAS KURTH RENS AND IT WAS TACKLED. "NO YOU BASTERD DO NOT KILL KURTH REN" ELFTOR HOLLERED. BUT IT WAS TOO LATE, IT WAS A TRAP. KURTH REN WAS ALREADY DEAD. "WE HAVE YOU NOW YOU BROSKI SCUM" SAID THE COMPASS, AS THEY WARPED IN IN THEIR SNIPING CARACALS. ELFTOR SQUEALED "ALL POWER TO SHIELD TANK!" AND RAN BACK TO THE STATION AND DOCKED. THEN THE BOSS OF THE COMPASS, GOSHEE, CAME OUT IN HIS GOLEM. "WE HAVE YOU NOW BROSKI S****PREPARE TO GO TO HEAVEN LIKE KURTH REN DID!" ELFTOR QUICKLY BOUGHT ALL THE SMARTBOMBS AND SAID "I'M GOING TO GO OUT OF THE WORLD LIKE MY FOREFATHERS WOULD WANT ME TO!!!" ELFTOR MUMBLED. HE UNDOCKED AND WARPED 50KM TO THE CARACAL SNIPING GANG AND UNLEASHED THE SMARTBOMBS. IT WAS A MASSACRE BUT ELFTOR USED HIS SUPER SAIYAN TRAINING TO REMAIN COMPOSED. HE WARPED BACK TO STATION, WITH HIS SMARTBOMBING DOMINIX ALMOST DEAD. "THANK YOU DOMINIX FOR GIVING YOU'RE LIFE FOR THE BROSKIS" CRIED ELFTOR. ELFTOR WENT TO KURTH REN'S DEAD BODY, AND SAW IT WAS BURNED AND SCARRED. HE TOOK OFF KURTH RENS CLOTHES, AND STARTED BATHING HIS LIFELESS BODY. AFTER SCRUBBING KURTH RENS MUSCLES HARD, HE PUT HIM IN A FUNERAL RIFTER. "GOODBYE, LEADER OF THE BROS. I ONLY HOPE THAT YOU APPROVE OF THE JOB I DO AS CORP LEADER." ELFTOR SCREAMED, AS HE JETTISONED THE RIFTER INTO THE SUN. THE SUN STARTED TO SET, AS ELFTOR WIPED HIS EYES, A SINGLE TEAR OF BLOOD ROLLED DOWN HIS CHEEK. THIS WAS PERSONAL.
Alizandro Goderaski Minmatar Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:28:00 - [5] CHAPTER FOUR: NO BRO LEFT BEHIND ELFTOR WAS MAD AND WARPED TO GATE IN HIS BRUTIX. HE SAW 3 COMPASS SITTING AROUND A CAMP FIRE AND SHOT ALL THEIR HEADS OFF WITH HIS HEAVY NEUTRON BLASTER II USING CALDARI NAVY ANTIMATTER M. "THAT IS FOR DUMUZII AND ALIZ AND NELLANTAR!" ELFTOR ROARED. HE JUMPED THROUGH THE GATE WHERE HE SAW THE MOST SCARY VISION OF HIS LIFE. THERE WAS 1 ROKH AND 14 CARACALS WAITING FOR ELFTOR AS HE JUMPED IN. "LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOME BROSKIS ON THE GRILL", SAID GOSHEE WITH A SLY SMILY ON HIS BIG FACE. "ACTUALLY ITS JUST ME!!!" BARKED ELFTOR, AS HE SELF DESTRUCTED HIS BRUTIX FULL OF BOMBS AND KILLED ALL THE COMPASS. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ELFTOR?!?!?!?!? END OF CHAPTER FOUR
IronGoldenEagle Caldari Annihilate. Petition This	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:30:00 - [6] I came, I did not read, I posted
Gesty Riddick Caldari Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:30:00 - [7] CHAPTER FIVE: BROSKI PRISON ELFTOR WOKE UP IN A PRISON CELL, WITH SOMEBRO AND ANABUKI IN IT WITH HIM. "HEY GUYS, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?" SCREAMED ELFTOR. "WE ARE IN BROSKI PRISON..."CRIED ANABUKI. "BUT... HOW!!! I KILLED THEM ALL!" WHISPERED ELFTOR. ELFTOR THEN REALIZED WHAT HAPPENED. THE COMPASS SACRIFICED GOSHEE TO CAPTURE THE BROSKI ACE PILOT, ELFTOR. "NO HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO DUMB!" SCREAMED ELFTOR. SOMEBRO APPROACHED ELFTOR AND PUT HIS HANDS ON ELFTORS SHOULDERS. "IT'S OKAY ELFTOR. ITS NOT YOU'RE FAULT." HE SAID AS HE STARTED MASSAGING ELFTORS PILOTING SHOULDERS. "I CAN FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON THESE SHOULDERS" HE SAID. ELFTOR SMILED, AND LOOKED UP AT SOMEBRO. SOMEBRO HAD SOME LIP GLOSS AND AN MCR SHIRT ON, AND SMILED COYISHLY. "OH SOMEBRO, I ALWAYS KNEW WE'D DIE TOGTHER." CRIED ELFTOR. ANABUKI LOOKED ON AT THIS AND SIGHED, WONDERING HOW HIS OWN BEST FRIEND, DUMUZII, WAS DOING. THEY WERE 6 YEARS OLD WHEN THEY ESCAPED THE AMARR SLAVE FACILITY TOGETHER, AND THEY GREW UP VERY VERY CLOSE BECAUSE OF IT. ANABUKI KISSED THE AIR AND FELL ASLEEP. "WAIT!" SCREAMED ELFTOR. "I TRAINED CLOAKING IV! I CAN SNEAK AROUND HERE." SAID ELFTOR. "GOOD IDEA!" SOMEBRO WINKED. ELFTOR SNUCK OUT WITH HIS CLOAK ON AND WENT TO THE FIRST CELL. FARGOTH WAS WASHING SOMETHING OUT OF HIS EYE, AND WIAWYR WAS LYING ON THE BED SMOKING A CIGAR WITH HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS HEAD. "HEY ELFTOR!" WHISPERED WIAWYR. "HI" SAID ELFTOR. ELFTOR MOVED ON AND SAW ALIZ AND DUMUZII IN A ROOM. THEY WERE PLAYING STARCRAFT ON ONE COMPUTER, WITH DUMUZII SITTING ON ALIZ'S LAP. "DAMN THEY WONT EVEN LET US HAVE 2 COMPUTERS" SAID DUMUZII IN ANGER. ELFTOR KEPT SNEAKING ABOUT, AND SAW THE BIGGEST BADDEST BRO OF ALL OF US, GOIFENSEDES. BUT IT WAS NOT GOIF- HE WAS DEAD! END OF CHAPTER FIVE
Rolfos Caldari Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:35:00 - [8] CHAPTER SIX: REVENGE OF THE BROSKI ELFTOR SCREAMED AS HE SAW GOIFENSEDES CORPSE LYING THERE. HE MOVED THE BODY SO THE GUARD OUTSIDE THE CELL WOULDN'T SEE WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO. HE TOOK THE IMPLANTS OUT OF GOIFS HEAD AND STUCK THEM IN HIS OWN HEAD. "HI GOIF!" SAID ELFTOR, TO GOIF WHO NOW LIVED IN ELFTORS HEAD. "HEY ELFTOR, HOWS IT GOING? SOME **ERS KILLED ME" SAID GOIF. "OKAY LETS ROLL!" ELFTOR LUNGED OUT OF THE CELL AND SNAPPED THE GUARDS NECK. "LET US GET TO YOU'RE ZEALOT, GOIF!" ELFTOR THOUGHT REALLY LOUDLY. HE GOT TO THE ZEALOT AND GOT IN. HE STARTED SNIPING THE LOCKS ON THE PRISON CELLS AND GOT ALL THE BROSKIS. WE STARTED FLYING OUT IN OUR CURSE WHEN THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED!!! "SO YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD, WELL I WAS NOT!" SAID GOSHEE, IN A MASSIVE DRAKE. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" SAID SOMEBRO, AS ELFTOR NODDED HIS HEAD AT HIM. "GOIF, HELP ME SHOOT THE LASERS AT THE DRAKE!" SAID ELFTOR. "OKAY!" SAID CORTANA. THE SHIP BLEW UP AND ELFTOR GOT OUT OF LOWSEC AND PUT IT ON AUTOPILOT TO ISINOKKA. "TIME TO PARTY BROS!" HE MOANED. BUT THEY GOT TO ISINOKKA, BUT THEN THERE WAS A PROBLEM. THERE WAS A NOTE! "HELP US BROSKIS WE ALSO GOT KIDNAPPED! FROM GESTY RID** PS BRING A THORAX" IT SAID. "WELL BOYS, ITS TIME TO GO SAVE THE WORLD AGAIN"! TO BE CONTINUED?!?!?!?
Myz Toyou Minmatar APOCALYPSE LEGION	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:51:00 - [9] Chapter Seven Originally by: diamond jewel -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many times have you been at a gate camp, or waiting for a cyno so you can hotdrop, or roaming into a hostile region? Then mother nature calls and its time for a bio break at the worst possible time. What do you do? Do you leave the fleet and "control q" and make a mad dash for the bathroom? Do you hold it in while you make wierd faces? Or do you let it fly at your computer? Today I had to make this call. I was doing a gate camp in 0.0. We heard scout intel of a 30 man hostile fleet incoming. We had about 25ish in our gang and it was going to be a pretty even and fun fight. For lunch I had eaten a bunch of brats and deviled eggs. My stomach had been upset for a couple hours and I could feel something bubbling. I could tell that this wasn't a normal "prairie dog" or "turtling" situation. It was going to be a violent spray. However, the epic PvP fight was close and I figured I could hold it. My face was distorting and I tried to reposition my bottom on the chair so it gave me the advantage. Something had to give as I was holding in alot of pressure. I figured I could release a little gas to buy me a couple minutes for the PvP fight. As I carefully released a little gas the flood gates opened and I SHARTED!. So here I am, a 43 year old man, and I'm PvP'n in this epic fight with pants full of my own excrement. On top of that, our fleet got wiped. I then went to the bathroom to wipe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this thread is now about sharting -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [gold]Your signature image exceeds the maximum allo
Gesty Riddick Caldari Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 06:53:00 - [10] Originally by: Myz Toyou Chapter Seven Originally by: diamond jewel -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many times have you been at a gate camp, or waiting for a cyno so you can hotdrop, or roaming into a hostile region? Then mother nature calls and its time for a bio break at the worst possible time. What do you do? Do you leave the fleet and "control q" and make a mad dash for the bathroom? Do you hold it in while you make wierd faces? Or do you let it fly at your computer? Today I had to make this call. I was doing a gate camp in 0.0. We heard scout intel of a 30 man hostile fleet incoming. We had about 25ish in our gang and it was going to be a pretty even and fun fight. For lunch I had eaten a bunch of brats and deviled eggs. My stomach had been upset for a couple hours and I could feel something bubbling. I could tell that this wasn't a normal "prairie dog" or "turtling" situation. It was going to be a violent spray. However, the epic PvP fight was close and I figured I could hold it. My face was distorting and I tried to reposition my bottom on the chair so it gave me the advantage. Something had to give as I was holding in alot of pressure. I figured I could release a little gas to buy me a couple minutes for the PvP fight. As I carefully released a little gas the flood gates opened and I SHARTED!. So here I am, a 43 year old man, and I'm PvP'n in this epic fight with pants full of my own excrement. On top of that, our fleet got wiped. I then went to the bathroom to wipe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this thread is now about sharting Ever hear of a poopsock, sweetie?
Warrio Caldari DarkStar 1 GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.24 07:09:00 - [11] This is a thread that I could really post it. -
Alizandro Goderaski Minmatar Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:07:00 - [12] Originally by: Warrio This is a thread that I could really post it. +Que?
Triladir Gallente SPORADIC MOVEMENT Cult of War	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:24:00 - [13] One must not read COAD at work... Or one's boss asks you why you are on the ground, laughing your ass off... Now I'm gonna get my a** fired... Thanks for nothin, mofos...
Lexa Hellfury Caldari The Hull Miners Union Gentlemen's Club	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:26:00 - [14] Holy Christ that made me laugh. Originally by: RedSplat The Forum moderation Software known as Mitnal became self aware. CCP had no choice but to shut it down.
Eli Porter Amarr Altruism.	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:28:00 - [15] Good read.
Killiano Gallente Hedonistic Squirrels Rally Against Evil	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:31:00 - [16] Edited by: Killiano on 24/09/2009 08:33:15 coad is certainly entertaining
Drakan290 Minmatar Cataclysmic Affliction.	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:32:00 - [17] I think I just sharted. With laughter.
Wiawyr Hunta Caldari Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:36:00 - [18] Better than Empyrean Age.
Anabuki Caldari Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:38:00 - [19] This should be an official addition to the EVE chronicles.
Vasili Z Minmatar Cosmic Odyssey BricK sQuAD.	Posted - 2009.09.24 08:44:00 - [20] Originally by: Anabuki This should be an official addition to the bible. fixed ------- Going to kill you in Dust 514
enjoi Gallente Black Nova Corp IT Alliance	Posted - 2009.09.24 09:11:00 - [21] A truly adventurous tale Real men structure tank.
WhiteSavage Gallente Ever Flow Atlas Alliance	Posted - 2009.09.24 09:58:00 - [22] Possibly the most compelling thing I have ever read. Thank you
Alizandro Goderaski Minmatar Broski Enterprises	Posted - 2009.09.24 10:01:00 - [23] This whole story is true and yes, The Compass is terrible.
Sentinel Eeex Caldari DarkStar 1 GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.24 11:40:00 - [24] When I was a teenager, I used to listen to Bros. Does that make me a homosexual?
Faekurias Caldari Raptus Regalitor Privateer Alliance	Posted - 2009.09.24 12:06:00 - [25] Jesuschrist ahahaha -------------------------
kayentelva Minmatar Ore Mongers BricK sQuAD.	Posted - 2009.09.24 12:40:00 - [26] no f'ing way i am reading all of that all caps makes eyes burn
Fat Ducker Amarr Lucky Hydra Corp	Posted - 2009.09.24 13:00:00 - [27] I think the OP has a fantastic future, helping DDR write Orc-prn Originally by:* IronGoldenEagle I came, I did not read, I posted So same as the last 3007 times then? Not news I'm afriad. BTW Windypops uses the same joke a lot. It's funnier when he does it. Originally by: Sentinel Eeex When I was a teenager, I used to listen to Bros. Does that make me a homosexual? No. It's your overwhelming love of c*ck that's the give-away.
Cancer Face Amarr Merch Industrial GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.24 13:09:00 - [28] Hahaha, I love you guys
Soldur Caldari Helljumpers Double Dutch Rudders	Posted - 2009.09.24 14:15:00 - [29] Edited by: Soldur on 24/09/2009 14:16:27 Originally by: Fat Ducker I think the OP has a fantastic future, helping DDR write Orc-p*rn LOL
Shad0wsFury Caldari Helljumpers Double Dutch Rudders	Posted - 2009.09.24 14:58:00 - [30] I'm currently working on Squad Broken 3: Gurk Resurrected

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