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Insa Rexion
Minmatar
CTRL-Q
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Posted - 2009.12.07 10:11:00 -
[1]
As the IGS will be aware, the Amarr, or more accurately, the Caldari, have recently taken 6 systems from the Minmatar in a shockingly short space of time. More shocking is the news that a few unarmed caldari took these systems and were met with absolutely no resistance from the Republic Fleet. How was this possible ? What strange events occurred to allow such an unbelievable scenario  Was there corruption ? Cowardice ? SORCERY !!??!!
With this in mind I took it upon myself to interview a Republic Fleet Officer, Capt. Stew-pid McKanick of the SS "suspension of disbelief", a Tempest class battleship involved in the recent events.
IR : Good evening capt. Stew-pid, thank you for taking the time to speak to me.
cpt.SM : Glad to be of service to you and the minmatar ppl at large.
IR : Indeed, one wishes you'd felt the same way earlier, more specifically when engaged by a lone unarmed caldari pilot in Aset.
cpt.SM : Er.. well, hmm yes... *shuffles awkwardly*
IR : Perhaps you would care to explain your and the rest of the Republic fleet's actions, or should I say LACK OF when faced with unarmed Caldari frigates assaulting the systems of Aset, Isbrabata, Egmar et al ?
cpt.SM : Ah..
IR : Did you even fire a single shot in resistance ?
cpt.SM : Well no.
IR : For the love of God why man, why !!??!!
cpt.SM : I honestly am at a loss to explain mr. Rexion, we were... just... UNABLE to respond.
IR : But you are at war with these pilots !
cpt.SM : We responded to emergency radio transmissions when systems were being assaulted only to find that upon entering the combat theatre, we became paralyzed, unable to follow our most basic instincts to respond with force.
IR : That is ridiculous capt. At least tell me something believable, were your ships systems sabotaged ? Have you been bribed ? Are you just a coward who let Caldari kids steal his lunch money at school ?
cpt.SM : All of those would be more believable than the truth mr Rexion. It is as though some unseen omnipotent force just stepped in and prevented our acting in response. I honestly do not know what else to tell you, our actions were COMPLETELY UNBELIEVABLE (get it?)
Interview ends
So there we have it, straight from the horses mouth, but are we any the wiser ? i think not. Many questions remain. Are the entire Republic Fleet corrupt ? Has Damar Rocarion mastered MIND CONTROL ? Do the Caldari have some unknown all powerful immobilzation weapon ? Is the cake a lie ? Are the republic fleet all just cowards who let Caldari kids steal their lunch money at school ?
And really ROFL at the Amarr crowing about a few unarmed Caldari achieving in days, something the entire Amarr militia could not do in months ? Says a lot about ur belief in your own abilities when you desperately piggy back onto the achievements of a couple of Caldari rookies 
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well mannered ****ole |
Eran Mintor
Minmatar
Valklear Guard
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Posted - 2009.12.07 10:34:00 -
[2]
The cake is a lie.
 Quote:
And really ROFL at the Amarr crowing about a few unarmed Caldari achieving in days, something the entire Amarr militia could not do in months ? Says a lot about ur belief in your own abilities when you desperately piggy back onto the achievements of a couple of Caldari rookies
Lawl.
I hear the cream filling really isn't cream...
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Ralnik
Mutineers
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Posted - 2009.12.07 11:05:00 -
[3]
Yes we welcome our new Caldari overloads, they managed to do something that the Amarr could never man up and do in a 100 years. I wonder if we shall be able to go to Jita after this.
Caldari Victory, because I need to sell **** at Jita!
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Wayward Daughter
Swords of the Righteous
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Posted - 2009.12.07 16:53:00 -
[4]
cpt.SM : We responded to emergency radio transmissions when systems were being assaulted only to find that upon entering the combat theatre, we became paralyzed, unable to follow our most basic instincts to respond with force.
cpt.SM : All of those would be more believable than the truth mr Rexion. It is as though some unseen omnipotent force just stepped in and prevented our acting in response. I honestly do not know what else to tell you, our actions were COMPLETELY UNBELIEVABLE (get it?)
Do the Caldari have some unknown all powerful immobilzation weapon ? Is the cake a lie ? Are the republic fleet all just cowards who let Caldari kids steal their lunch money at school?
Let me be the first to confirm the existence of the omnipotent, immobilization force to which cpt.SM refers. His name is God. His wrath cometh in ways that seem strange to us; still, if any man have an ear let him hear: He is coming.
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Theophilas
Amarr
Deus Imperiosus Acies
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Posted - 2009.12.07 17:29:00 -
[5]
The Minners were too busy blobbing up to engage 3 or 4 targets sitting in Kamela or Dal than actually doing the work necessary to secure their systems. Considering that their militia currently outnumbers ours about 3:1, this is not only surprising, it's also pathetic. There's no conspiracy, the minners simply have one, and only one, pilot dedicated to plexing.
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Kloee Napan
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Posted - 2009.12.07 20:22:00 -
[6]
I hear the Amarrians have continued further in their self-gloating that they're now masturbating on the control bunkers instead of firing their lasers. They've declared, "This is the holy space belonging to Amarr, and we shall use our holy water to bring it back under God's reign!"
All fled from system at the sight of the might Amarrian e-peen.
Actually, I think everyone stopped giving a damn when you decided to end FW for the sake of being "winnars". Enjoy your meaningless occupancy and "Amarr victor" at the cost of your own reputations and any real meaning.
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Revan Neferis
Amarr
The Archaeus of Blood
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Posted - 2009.12.07 20:31:00 -
[7]
" Empress Jamyl has developed Psychic extraordinary Powers... including the ability to read people's minds and communicate directly with them, even if they are solar systems away, unless they are near the EVE Gate...."
cpt.SM : I honestly am at a loss to explain mr. Rexion, we were... just... UNABLE to respond.
cpt.SM : We responded to emergency radio transmissions when systems were being assaulted only to find that upon entering the combat theatre, we became paralyzed, unable to follow our most basic instincts to respond with force...
Hummmm...
...every fire needs a little bit help |
Lyn Farel
Lucis TechnoCustodia
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Posted - 2009.12.07 20:39:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Kloee Napan
I hear the Amarrians have continued further in their self-gloating that they're now masturbating on the control bunkers instead of firing their lasers. They've declared, "This is the holy space belonging to Amarr, and we shall use our holy water to bring it back under God's reign!"
All fled from system at the sight of the might Amarrian e-peen.
Actually, I think everyone stopped giving a damn when you decided to end FW for the sake of being "winnars". Enjoy your meaningless occupancy and "Amarr victor" at the cost of your own reputations and any real meaning.
I suggest you to reconsider all the planets and assets, without speaking about tribal anarchists, that will get caught by the new owner of these solar systems. The TLF fools have yet to understand the war does not lie in the meaningless and endless destructions of cloned capsuleers, but in the occupancy the Empire is expanding into their territory for the greatest good of civilization.
I pray for all the innocents that still live there and have never wanted to follow the clueless rule of their bloodthirsty leader. Though I have no doubt they will be well treated. |
Kloee Napan
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Posted - 2009.12.07 20:49:00 -
[9]
Occupancy? Wuts that? Lulz
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Sophie Starsparrow
Minmatar
Starfish Operating Syndicate
Independent Faction
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Posted - 2009.12.07 21:04:00 -
[10]
The main problem is not with the Republic Fleet. It is with CONCORD. The Minmatar people have always held a disadvantage in negotiations with them. The very terms used is antithetical to our Way of Life and the way we think.
Witness this :
All current agreements allow the holding of Minmatar Slaves in the Amarr Empire.
Any Minmatar attempting to free slaves and return them to the Republic is subject to arrest and a fine. The slaves being returned to the Empire presumably. Only the slaves considered free by the Empire and CONCORD can be brought in safely.
The very institution by which our people had to be recognized by CONCORD needed to be based on Gallente model, and defined by the terms of the Amarr, the Gallente and Caldari. Our tribal governance structure is not recognized as such.
The pilots responsible for the recent Caldari successes are actually protected by CONCORD. They are also traitors. These are people who have, according to CONCORD, worked with the Republic. If our Militia attempts to fire on them, they are punished by CONCORD. If the Republic Fleet attempts to fire on them, they are punished by CONCORD.
Why was anyone surprised the Elder Fleet attacked CONCORD?
As long as we remain playing by their rules, accepting their definitions, we can't expect to be on equal terms.
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Gabriel Darkefyre
Minmatar
Shadows Of The Federation
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Posted - 2009.12.07 22:01:00 -
[11]
You may be corect in your assessment, Miss Sparsparrow, but for a different reason than you may think.
This malady isn't within the Members of the Fleet, wierd and wonderful explanations as to remote psychic powers or super weapons affecting the Minds of Republic Pilots would seem to be mere conspiracy theories.
Likewise, the idea that so many of the Pilots of the Fleet could have turend Traitor simultaneuosly is laughable at best.
No, the reason for why this is occuring lies on a piece of CONCORD Designed Circuitry less than the size of my little finger. A Fundamental Design Flaw that would appear to affect the Navy Vessels of all 4 Nations. Whether this Flaw is accidental, or by deliberate design remains to be seen.
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Image from Crumplecorn's DesuSigs |
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