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Deverock
Everlasting Forge
Imperial Ascension
1
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Posted - 2011.09.20 03:00:00 -
[1] - Quote
I wrote this article about EVE and how it kind of forms its own little society. go ahead and give it a read. feel free to tell me it sucks or if you think that it is well done. if you wanna troll, troll away.
http://bryansrandthoughts.blogspot.com/2011/09/eve-online-social-experiment.html |
Foodpimp
Heaven's Harvesters
LEGIO ASTARTES ARCANUM
7
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Posted - 2011.09.20 03:11:00 -
[2] - Quote
It needs more Intergalactic Space Cowbell. |
Dan Aldeland
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
2
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Posted - 2011.09.20 03:31:00 -
[3] - Quote
Well done if you practicing to write reviews for any of the mmo-reporting sites. They always present a utopian picture of whatever game they are focusing the review on.
For an independent blog-spot...not so good. There isn't a single mention of a game flaw. |
Foodpimp
Heaven's Harvesters
LEGIO ASTARTES ARCANUM
7
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Posted - 2011.09.20 03:41:00 -
[4] - Quote
Dan Aldeland wrote: Well done if you practicing to write reviews for any of the mmo-reporting sites. They always present a utopian picture of whatever game they are focusing the review on.
For an independent blog-spot...not so good. There isn't a single mention of a game flaw.
Quiet damn you!!!! There ar no flaws in EVE! Do you want the Overseers to discipline you?!?!? Silence and eat your Soylent Pink! |
Deverock
Everlasting Forge
Imperial Ascension
1
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Posted - 2011.09.20 03:43:00 -
[5] - Quote
Dan Aldeland wrote: Well done if you practicing to write reviews for any of the mmo-reporting sites. They always present a utopian picture of whatever game they are focusing the review on.
For an independent blog-spot...not so good. There isn't a single mention of a game flaw.
its not written as a review... its supposed to be examining the social aspects of EVE and the organization of everything. granted i am more then sure i have left out a few very key things. |
The Apostle
The Black Priests
26
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Posted - 2011.09.20 04:38:00 -
[6] - Quote
As a "young fella" you've summarised Eve reasonably well. Kudos for getting out into 0.0 and having a bash at it (took me 18 months).
As a writer, you might need some errr... practise. I found it disjointed, grammatically incorrect and "under-paragraphed".
Having said all that, I'm an under-employed RL writer trying to make my next meal ticket. I'm playing Eve in between sentences.
Take an aspirin. If pain persists consult your local priest. |
Deverock
Everlasting Forge
Imperial Ascension
1
|
Posted - 2011.09.20 04:51:00 -
[7] - Quote
The Apostle wrote:As a "young fella" you've summarised Eve reasonably well. Kudos for getting out into 0.0 and having a bash at it (took me 18 months). As a writer, you might need some errr... practise. I found it disjointed, grammatically incorrect and "under-paragraphed". Having said all that, I'm an under-employed RL writer trying to make my next meal ticket. I'm playing Eve in between sentences.
under paragraphed? as in their was not enough content in each paragraph? not gonna lie i wrote the article in like 30 mins and did not bother to proofread it or anything so im not at all suprised that you found so many errors xD |
Flamewave
Crimson Moon Society
1
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Posted - 2011.09.20 04:53:00 -
[8] - Quote
He means walls of text. Bite-sized chunks are more easily digestible. 
Some things ISK can't buy. For everything else, there's Jita. |
Deverock
Everlasting Forge
Imperial Ascension
1
|
Posted - 2011.09.20 04:57:00 -
[9] - Quote
Flamewave wrote:He means walls of text. Bite-sized chunks are more easily digestible.
are the paragraphs really that long? they seemed kinda small to me. |
Peri Simone
Steel Dawn Inc.
7
|
Posted - 2011.09.20 12:46:00 -
[10] - Quote
They're not desperately long for a newspaper or magazine article, they are too long for the internet. If you take a look at the BBC News website, for example, they split paragraphs down to two or three lines at a time - five lines at the most.
Do proof read, always. People really do notice this stuff, and poor spelling/punctuation/grammar will quickly undermine everything you're trying to say.
But hey, practice makes perfect, keep it up! |
DeBingJos
T.R.I.A.D
90
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Posted - 2011.09.20 13:13:00 -
[11] - Quote
Deverock wrote:Flamewave wrote:He means walls of text. Bite-sized chunks are more easily digestible. are the paragraphs really that long? they seemed kinda small to me.
I liked the length of you paragraphs. Easy to read and enough info in each paragraph.
Fix FW ! |
Signal11th
33
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Posted - 2011.09.20 14:29:00 -
[12] - Quote
Foodpimp wrote:It needs more Intergalactic Space Cowbell.
:-) Yes don't fear the reaper, one of the btter sketches.
God Said "Come Forth and receive eternal life!"-á I came second and won a toaster. |
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