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A downview shot of a corridor onboard a Caldari starship is shown. Suddenly, an explosion rocks the camera, and a guitar riff starts playing as Federal marines appear near view, while Provist soldiers enter from afar. As a firefight ensues in the background, Seriphyn Inhonores steps in front of the camera, dressed in a combat hardsuit, with a holographic viewfinder over one eye

"Day-by-day, me and my fellow capsuleers, along with the servicemen and women of the Federal Defence Union below me, fight against Heth's scumbags. It's a hard, brutal war, but now, we don't have to do it alone! So can you!"

He points at the camera in emphasis, to which it spiral zooms into his finger. The shot fast zooms out to reveal several consumer products all based around Seriphyn Inhonores, including action figures, clothing, cans of Quafe, and even model starships. An overly intense commentator announces...

"New! Exclusive merchandise and paraphernalia from Quafe Company, sponsored by one of the Federation's foremost war heroes, Luminaire General Seriphyn Inhonores!"

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A young Gallentean woman in a university corridor turns to face the camera, wearing a tight tanktop with the face of Seriphyn in a dramatic expression, images of Federal starships battling Caldari vessels blended in. She opens her mouth to speak in a slow, seductive voice

"Now I can show support for Our Boys everyday of the week...especially, mmm...General Inhonores..."

Stock images of the various female clothing based around the capsuleer fade in around her pouting face as it turns to a bright grin. It switches to a group of young Jin-Mei girls in school uniform surrounding a holographic projection of Inhonores, all giggling as the projection speaks

"Remember, ladies, just say no to boosters. A true Gallentean doesn't need narcotics to have a good time!"

As he clenches his fist to emphasize with a cheer from the girls, the overly intense commentator speaks again

"New! General Inhonores portable intelligences, available for download to your datapad today!"

The shot changes to an older man driving his car down a suburban street. The electronic voice of Inhonores is heard speaking from the navigation system, before the driver looks at the camera

"Turn left at traffic lights, into Paravelle Way"
"Now, I can have the man himself who defends this Federation guide me to work each day, or anywhere else I need to be!"

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The shot is a beach on the Intaki homeworld, a topless and oily Seriphyn with a self-asserting smirk at the camera. He holds up a can of Quafe, flavoured in green and black camouflage colours

"Need that extra boost to get through your daily routine? Then use what I use! Quafe Navy Issue!

Seriphyn lifts his head up to down the beverage, loud swallows emanating as the logo of the limited edition drink appears explosively, while a swarm of Intaki women in microbikinis surround the man, hands exploring his bare torso with purrs of admiration. He lets out a satisfied gasp as he looks back to the camera, winking before he crushes the can in his hands and throws it away.

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"New! Starship toys flown by General Inhonores himself, along with lifelike action figures! Uses authentic voice clips!"

A young boy is shown assembling a Proteus with modular toy parts, running around his garden with it, along with another boy holding a different variant. A close-up shows the boy pressing a button on the side of the model, playing Inhonores' voice

"Primary that Caracal!"
"Warp in at zero, go go!"
"I'm jammed!"
"They don't pay me enough for this ****. Wait, they don't ****ing pay me anything at all"

A pair of different boys are seen crouched by a small figure of General Inhonores in battle gear. It whips out two blaster pistols in a fluid fashion, aiming it at the camera

"Suck it, Heth!"

It starts firing, decimating a figure of the State Executor that becomes a mangled pile of liqui-plastic. The boys raise their arms in ecstatic cheer, the price tag flashing onto the screen as they do.

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The final shot is of Seriphyn in an extravagant, Gallentean military uniform on top of a mound holding the flag of the Federation on a flagpole, camera looking up from below as his cape blows in the wind.

"Now I don't have to be alone in the fight against the corporate tyranny of the State! Choose your weapon, and join me in the fight for Justice and Freedom! Liberty and Victory, friends!"

There is a cheer of older children as their fists appear in the air from below the shot, Inhonores raising the pole and impaling it on the mound, a cacaphony of lightning exploding from the insertion. A wing of fighters screech overhead, dragging the camerashot upwards to face the sky completely, before the Quafe Company logo fades in to end the scene

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Originally by: Seriphyn Inhonores

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Quote:

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A young Gallentean woman in a university corridor turns to face the camera, wearing a tight tanktop with the face of Seriphyn in a dramatic expression, images of Federal starships battling Caldari vessels blended in. She opens her mouth to speak in a slow, seductive voice

"Now I can show support for Our Boys everyday of the week...especially, mmm...General Inhonores..."

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The shot is a beach on the Intaki homeworld, a topless and oily Seriphyn with a self-asserting smirk at the camera. He holds up a can of Quafe, flavoured in green and black camouflage colours

"Need that extra boost to get through your daily routine? Then use what I use! Quafe Navy Issue!

Seriphyn lifts his head up to down the beverage, loud swallows emanating as the logo of the limited edition drink appears explosively, while a swarm of Intaki women in microbikinis surround the man, hands exploring his bare torso with purrs of admiration. He lets out a satisfied gasp as he looks back to the camera, winking before he crushes the can in his hands and throws it away.

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Originally by: Kiam Arreiz

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While General Inhonores might be controversial amongst capsuleers, he appears to be otherwise loved by the Federation.

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Originally by: Ans Blix

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I won't mind the outside sponsorship, but now my agent has me travelling to pick up Quafe for him, ended in a ambush by the Blood Raiders!

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Quote:

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The shot is a beach on the Intaki homeworld, a topless and oily Seriphyn with a self-asserting smirk at the camera. He holds up a can of Quafe, flavoured in green and black camouflage colours

"Need that extra boost to get through your daily routine? Then use what I use! Quafe Navy Issue!

Seriphyn lifts his head up to down the beverage, loud swallows emanating as the logo of the limited edition drink appears explosively, while a swarm of Intaki women in microbikinis surround the man, hands exploring his bare torso with purrs of admiration. He lets out a satisfied gasp as he looks back to the camera, winking before he crushes the can in his hands and throws it away.

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