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Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.06 22:34:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Cathy McSales on 06/05/2010 23:07:14 Ingame auction
Erebus start bid: 9b Buyout: 11b
Avatar start bid: 8b Buyout: 8.6b
also a small competition: The best joke posted in this thread will win an Archon BPC ME:2. Winner will be announced 1 week from now.
Cathy |

Tyler
Caldari D00M. RED.OverLord
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Posted - 2010.05.06 23:24:00 -
[2]
6 on the erebus.
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Kendar
Gallente 4S Corporation Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2010.05.07 07:00:00 -
[3]
My joke and bump 
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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XxmeangirlxX
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Posted - 2010.05.07 07:08:00 -
[4]
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Free bump
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inza onoa
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Posted - 2010.05.07 07:16:00 -
[5]
rofl at your joke meangirl
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Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.07 11:07:00 -
[6]
lol, good ones :)
Keep'em coming |

Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.08 13:14:00 -
[7]
I got one too (I can of course not win).
Electric Train A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b.itches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b.itches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are p.issed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b.itch in the kitchen."
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Lorkin Desal
Caldari Lone Star Partners
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Posted - 2010.05.08 13:56:00 -
[8]
One morning, a man approached the first tee, only to find another guy approaching from the other side. They began talking and decided to play 9 holes together. After teeing off, they sat off down the fairway, continuing their chat.
"What do you do?" the first man asked.
"I'm a salesman. What about you?"
"I'm a hitman" replied the second man.
The hitman noticed that the 1st guy started getting a little nervous and continued. "Yeah. I'm the highest paid guy in the business. I'm the best." He stopped, sat down his bag of clubs, and pulled out a fancy, high powered rifle that was loaded with all types of scopes and sights. He than asked the man where he lived.
Still nervous the man replied, "In the suburbs, just a mile west of here."
The hitman placed the gun against his shoulder, faced west, peered into a scope and asked "What color roof ya' got?"
"Gray."
Then he asked "What color siding?"
"Yellow."
"You got a silver Toyota?"
"Yeah," replied the first man who was now completely amazed by the accuracy of the hitman's equipment. "That's my wife's car."
"That your red pickup next to it?"
Looking baffled the man asked if he could look through the scope.
Looking through the sights, he said "Hell. That's my buddy Jeff's truck. What the hell is he doing there if I'm..?"
The hitman looked through the scope once more. "Your wife a blond?"
"Yeah."
"Your buddy got black hair?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, I don't know how to tell you, but I think you've got a problem. They're going at it like a couple of teenagers in there." said the hitman.
"Problem??! THEY'VE got the problem! I want you to shoot both of them! Right now!"
The hitman paused and said, "Sure. But it'll cost you. Like I said, I'm the best. I get paid $5,000 per shot."
"I don't care! Just do it! I want you to shoot her right in the head, then shoot him right in the groin!"
The hitman agreed, turned, and took firing position. He carefully stared into the sights, taking careful aim.
All was silent for minutes as the shot was lined up..
"What's taking so long?", the furious husband replied..
"You know what buddy. This is your lucky day. I think I can save you $5,000!"
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Sepi
Gamma Draconis Industries Eternus Imperium Alliance
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Posted - 2010.05.08 15:12:00 -
[9]
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "HereÆs a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed.
Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
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Quazal Atreides
Gallente The Final Sanctuary
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Posted - 2010.05.08 15:19:00 -
[10]
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what heÆd like to eat. ôIÆll have some f*ckinÆ French toast,ö he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. ôWell, I guess that leaves more f*ckinÆ French toast for me,ö he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. ôI donÆt know,ö he says meekly, ôbut I definitely donÆt want the f*ckinÆ French toast.ö
Gotta be worth it just to get banned
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Aviator Girl
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Posted - 2010.05.08 15:57:00 -
[11]
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ôThat's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!ö The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ôThe driver just insulted me!ö
The man says: ôYou go right up there and tell him off û go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.ö
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Grace Malley
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Posted - 2010.05.08 16:01:00 -
[12]
Nice idea to put a joke contets inhere for the free bumpage! ;)
Joke: Whats the last thing that pass's thru a flies mind as it hits the windshield? - - - - - - - - - -
Its ass.
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Thago Avori
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Posted - 2010.05.08 16:51:00 -
[13]
CCP will fix lag soon.
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Dethmourne Silvermane
Gallente Silvermane Enterprises
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Posted - 2010.05.08 20:14:00 -
[14]
Okay here's my joke...
walking in stations is coming out next patch.
Regarding high-sec mining:
Originally by: AmarrettoDiAmarr 3-4 million ISK/hr is perhaps .15 0r .20 US$/hr; not quite prison wages and you are around less honest people.
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Ursalati
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Posted - 2010.05.08 21:49:00 -
[15]
Two Hydrogen Atoms are walking into a bar. As they get closer one says.." Whoa, whoa, whoa!!! Stop, I think I lost an electron!!! The other atom says " Are you sure?" The First then replies" Yes, I'm positive." :)
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Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.09 13:01:00 -
[16]
rofl, I got a few favorites already. |

Pessimist
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Posted - 2010.05.09 13:17:00 -
[17]
I picked up some Jamie Oliver sausages when I was in sainsbury's this morning.
On the back of the pack it says "prick with a fork".
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Lani Sun
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Posted - 2010.05.10 02:54:00 -
[18]
Edited by: Lani Sun on 10/05/2010 02:54:17
I was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.10 22:52:00 -
[19]
Up for more |

Cimilkar
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Posted - 2010.05.10 23:32:00 -
[20]
What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor?
Where the hell is my tractor? >.>
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Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.11 23:11:00 -
[21]
Bids on the Titan BPCs are also welcome :) |

Tia Xoth
Amarr pyROmaniacs
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Posted - 2010.05.11 23:51:00 -
[22]
5b on the Avatar BPC
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Nadarius Chrome
Celestial Horizon Corp.
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Posted - 2010.05.12 04:53:00 -
[23]
An elderly lady visits the doctor. As she enters the examination room the doctor says "Just a moment, finishing up some paperwork. Be right with you.". A few minutes later he turns around and asks "So what can I help you with?".
The elderly lady says "Well doctor, it's a bit odd, but I've been having these gas attacks recently. They're silent and don't smell at all so at least they're not too embarrasing, but it's still very disturbing to me. In fact, while I've been waiting for you I've passed wind several times, though you probably couldn't tell."
The doctor responds "Ok, first we'll check on your hearing, and then we'll see what we can do about your lack of a sense of smell." |

Alleria Moonshine
Snake Hive Technologies Valor Empire
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Posted - 2010.05.12 12:01:00 -
[24]
An American reporter went to take an interview of an old Texan who was past his 80's. At one moment, the reporter asked: - Sir, did you know that for the first time in history, America has a black president ? - Come on man, that is just not possible. - Really ... - Cut the bull****, we're living in America and for us to have a black president is impossible. - Look at the newspapers: New York Times - "Barack Obama - first black president at the white house", Washington post - "For the first time a black man reaches president-hood" ... - Extraordinary, it's incredible, his master must be so proud.
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Headerman
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Posted - 2010.05.12 13:06:00 -
[25]
Whats orange and looks good on a hippie?
Fire.
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5torm5
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Posted - 2010.05.12 13:43:00 -
[26]
Walked into a pub the other day and there was a massive fight in progress.
Just as I was about to do a runner two huge guys shouted "YOU, OUTSIDE NOW!"
Feck, I went out into the road where these two guys grabbed me to dish out a beating.
There was only one thing to do, quick as a flash I knocked one out
On reflection probably not the best time to have a w**k...
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Pisi puss
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Posted - 2010.05.12 14:31:00 -
[27]
A crazy dude was hiting his fingers with a hammer. A doctor comes and asks .. : Do you enjoy yourself doing that? CD: Only when i miss.
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Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.13 00:03:00 -
[28]
I had some good laughs. It'll not be easy to pick the winner. |

Lord Zengin
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Posted - 2010.05.13 01:49:00 -
[29]
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick. |

Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.13 12:57:00 -
[30]
Less than 24h on the auctions |
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offcopy
Caldari OffBeat Creations
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Posted - 2010.05.13 16:15:00 -
[31]
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
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Cathy McSales
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Posted - 2010.05.15 03:34:00 -
[32]
Alright, here is the winner of the joke competition. It was not an easy pick as there are several good jokes.
The following 4 made it to the top on my list:
[4] [9] [10] [23]
and the winner is ....
Nadarius Chrome with nummber 23. I have made a contract to you with the Archon BPC, congratulation.
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Nadarius Chrome
Celestial Horizon Corp.
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Posted - 2010.05.15 04:01:00 -
[33]
Accepted, thanks Cathy.  |
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