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JABBIE
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.17 17:24:00 -
[1]
Alcatraz Inc has numerous immediate openings for female Inspirational Fleet Commanders working out of our Dekklein offices. This is your chance to step up to the table in an ancient 0.0 corporation and meet influential high ranking characters throughout the Tactical Narcotics Team alliance and our Northern Coalition allies. The IFC position is responsible for enhancing alliance teamwork and building on our existing structure and reputation as + assed PVPers who never quit and are always mad. Alcatraz Inc is commited to equal opportunity employment and encourages our pilots to leverage any and all assets that they can share with the team.
Duties:
Jump from channel to channel on teamspeak flirting with everyone during Calls To Arms
Scout and report targets in appropriate Regional intel channels
Manipulate horney old men into destroying enemy internet spaceships
Adhere to all applicable health and safety regulations.
Maintain a minimum of participation on 30 killmails each month
Qualifications:
18+ years old.
Minimum 20m skillpoints preferably focused on combat.
Ability to manipulate men in large groups in a timely and efficient manner
Knowledge of game mechanics and how they can be leveraged in a PVP environment.
Ability to lift heavy epeen equipment and knowledge of memes would be an asset.
Please send cover letters to:
JABBIE or Wibla
Preferances will be given to:
Call Center workers with hot voices.
Chicks who like webcams.
Training and Compensation:
1 Billion Isk per month û performance based salary. (this is the ONLY salary position in TNT)
You will be given ample opportunity to learn dirty tricks from some of the best in the business.
Men will constantly chat you up and try to get in your pants.
We opperate in a "haz lotz of iskz and will give you stuff if u make us feel good" environment.
Jabbie
Director of "Alliance Needs Moar Chicks"
Alcatraz Inc
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Yakoff
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.17 17:31:00 -
[2]
Oh, this can not possibly end well.
What is our harassment policy anyway?
___
It deosnt mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat leettr be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef. |
Rastino
Minmatar
Cryptonym Sleepers
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.17 17:32:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Rastino on 17/05/2010 17:34:32
I can still post pictures of hot ladies in fleet chat right?
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JABBIE
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.17 17:37:00 -
[4]
 Originally by: Yakoff
Oh, this can not possibly end well.
What is our harassment policy anyway?
""Must be open to and expectant of sexual harassment.""
Updated.
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JABBIE
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.17 17:46:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Rastino
Edited by: Rastino on 17/05/2010 17:34:32
I can still post pictures of hot ladies in fleet chat right?
This kinda goes without saying....
Preferance will also be given to chicks who think other chicks are hot.
*Updated*
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Securitas Protector
Yaoi Corp
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Posted - 2010.05.17 18:07:00 -
[6]
I suppose the NC isn't gay enough that gay guys would be considered? 
Proud to be shaych |
Tallaran Kouros
Caldari
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.17 18:29:00 -
[7]
What if you cross-dress, does that count?
I mean for 1 bil isk a month...
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Yakoff
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.17 21:28:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Securitas Protector
I suppose the NC isn't gay enough that gay guys would be considered?
I wouldn't say that. We are open, as long as you are open to what we are open too.
There is no discrimination in our alliance. Well, except for that Swedish Chef Denpositive guy.
___
It deosnt mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat leettr be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef. |
JABBIE
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
|
Posted - 2010.05.18 02:37:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Securitas Protector
I suppose the NC isn't gay enough that gay guys would be considered?
There are a number of corporations that specialize in the needs of the gay community. We can put you in contact with many former Goons who would be more than willing to accept your application and sponsorship fees and possibly even help you create a cool gay sig.
Jabbie
Director of We Already Have Too Much Sausage - Need Moar Buns
Alcatraz inc
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Ayden Messura
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.18 02:47:00 -
[10]
As a senior FC to the corp and alliance I would like to include a free crate of quafe ultra or exotic ddancers upon successful completion of getting the whole fleet blowed up. Thank you, that is all.
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Trav0
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Posted - 2010.05.18 02:55:00 -
[11]
i wish i was a chick, i would be so hot
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Rastino
Minmatar
Cryptonym Sleepers
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.18 14:05:00 -
[12]
I do believe I have to warn you all in this friendly and mildly sexist bump.
IÆm crazyà consider yourself warned
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Lilan Kahn
Amarr
The Littlest Hobos
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2010.05.18 14:22:00 -
[13]
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"Bringing Content to you 1 round of ammo at a time" |
JABBIE
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
|
Posted - 2010.05.18 14:24:00 -
[14]
We've had 2 job seekers so far but only 1 potential candidate. (Norway 4tw!)
For any of you gals who were wondering if this offer is legitimate - it is.
It's your time to shine ladies. Undock and let's have a look at ya.
Jabbie
Director of Putting His Isk Where His e-Mouth Should Be
Alcatraz Inc |
Max Wilson
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Posted - 2010.05.18 14:27:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Yakoff
Originally by: Securitas Protector
I suppose the NC isn't gay enough that gay guys would be considered?
I wouldn't say that. We are open, as long as you are open to what we are open too.
There is no discrimination in our alliance. Well, except for that Swedish Chef Denpositive guy.
Denpo is danish.. Just saying.
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JABBIE
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.18 17:06:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Max Wilson
Originally by: Yakoff
Originally by: Securitas Protector
I suppose the NC isn't gay enough that gay guys would be considered?
I wouldn't say that. We are open, as long as you are open to what we are open too.
There is no discrimination in our alliance. Well, except for that Swedish Chef Denpositive guy.
Denpo is danish.. Just saying.
We know this m8....but if u call him the sweedish chef on TS he gets all rowdy and offended. Hillarious...
Jabbie
Director of Those are some mighty perky 1400mm Howitzers you have there miss.
Alcatraz Inc
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JABBIE
Gallente
Alcatraz Inc.
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.18 20:07:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Ayden Messura
As a senior FC to the corp and alliance I would like to include a free crate of quafe ultra or exotic ddancers upon successful completion of getting the whole fleet blowed up. Thank you, that is all.
You're not getting off that easily.
I expect some deadspace loot donations to help keep our girls in the finest of fashion.
Jabbie
Director of Zydrine Lace Silk Thong Production
Alcatraz Inc
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Tsia
Atrocity.
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Posted - 2010.05.18 20:52:00 -
[18]
This is as witty as it is original.
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CCP Adida
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Posted - 2010.05.18 21:06:00 -
[19]
Removed inappropriate art. Locked because no further discussion of this is needed. The message is out.
Adida
Community Rep
CCP Hf, EVE Online
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