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Celeritas 5k
Caldari Destry's Lounge Important Internet Spaceship League
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Posted - 2010.05.25 05:26:00 -
[1]
Usually see this thread pop up around patch day, figure I'll do the honors this time.
DO: -Set a long skill training. A couple days should do ya. Hopefully.
-Read the patch notes. You want to know what is changing, so you can be prepared next time you log on.
-If CCP lets you download the update before the servers go live, do it. It's easier on the hamsters...
-Realize that you can in fact live without EVE for a day or two, take a few deep breaths and calm down.
-No really, EVE isn't actually your life. Chill out.
-Poast lolcats to pass the time, discuss the symbolism and metaphor found in Firefly, and rant about how fox was ******ed for canceling that show and you'll never forgive them, and you hope that the guy who made that decision comes home to find nathan fillon in bed his wife, daughter, and morena baccarin at the same time, goes out to his car to leave, runs over his dog, and then gets hit by a garbage truck as he cries over his dead best friend while listening to the impressively audible intercourse going on across the street in his own house. And then has to watch american idol reruns in hell for all eternity.
Anyway...
DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES: -Hop online as soon as the server goes up, change all 15 of your accounts to 20 minute skills, and then go start running level 4's in your pimped out navy raven.
-Disregard the above advice, and then come to the forums to ***** and moan about how CCP won't replace your ship or reimburse your lost training time because the server went down for a 6 hour unplanned downtime. (They won't by the way.)
-***** and moan on the forums about how you should get reimbursed for the lost days you paid for. You're not original. You're not witty. And no, you're not getting your money back.
-***** and moan on the forums when the patch takes a few hours longer than planned. (sh)it happens.
-***** and moan on the forums because you don't like the new features, you won't use the new features, there aren't enough new features, or because CCP didn't give you a blowjob even though you created a petition expressly demanding one.
-***** and moan on the forums about how (Insert any rant that is a poorly disguised attempt at blaming CCP for your pitiful failure at finding any kind of real, meaningful happiness in your life.)
-Spend too much time in the sun at first. You'll burn, and then peel, and then probably go back to being pasty white. You have to wear sunscreen, and do it gradually so you can tan a little bit first.
-Go looking for tritanium IRL. I looked everywhere, they don't have it.
-You don't get killmails IRL either. (Think that's planned for an upcoming patch.)
Think that pretty much covers it. Not that I actually expect the people who most need to to read it... But hey it makes me feel better about myself.
-- Toodles! |
How2FoldSoup
Hull Tanking Elitists
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Posted - 2010.05.25 05:38:00 -
[2]
Gee thanks, never seen one of these before. Not to mention the other ones running around right now too.
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HeliosGal
Caldari
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Posted - 2010.05.25 05:42:00 -
[3]
ill be loading up wow for the day Signature - CCP what this game needs is more variance in PVE aspects and a little bit less PVP focus, more content more varied level 1-4 missions more than just 10 per faction high sec low sec and 00 |
Elyseum
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Posted - 2010.05.25 05:43:00 -
[4]
actually, sunscreen is pretty bad for you
some of the ingredients react with the sun or make it into your bloodstream, CAUSING cancer
i am not making this up
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Celeritas 5k
Caldari Destry's Lounge Important Internet Spaceship League
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Posted - 2010.05.25 05:44:00 -
[5]
Originally by: HeliosGal ill be loading up wow for the day
Oops, forgot something. Thanks for reminding me! - NEVER PVP SOBER. |
robbyx
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Posted - 2010.05.25 05:55:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Celeritas 5k
-You don't get killmails IRL either. (Think that's planned for an upcoming patch.)
Yes you do...they are called court summons though.
Tooth fairy bless you.
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Caia
Gallente The Scope
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Posted - 2010.05.25 06:08:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Elyseum actually, sunscreen is pretty bad for you
some of the ingredients react with the sun or make it into your bloodstream, CAUSING cancer
i am not making this up
No, but the website you're paraphrasing is.
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Ban Doga
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Posted - 2010.05.25 06:13:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Celeritas 5k
-If CCP lets you download the update before the servers go live, do it. It's easier on the hamsters...
A couple of expansions already demonstrated that being the first isn't always better. A lot of people lost a their saved fittings or other files on their computers...
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Tippia
Sunshine and Lollipops
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Posted - 2010.05.25 07:52:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Celeritas 5k -***** and moan on the forums because [à] because CCP didn't give you a blowjob even though you created a petition expressly demanding one.
This is really the true outrage. I mean, why do we even have a petition system if things like this happen?! ——— “If you're not willing to fight for what you have in ≡v≡… you don't deserve it, and you will lose it.” — Karath Piki |
Jo Ka
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Posted - 2010.05.25 08:38:00 -
[10]
Play the game up to the point they switch off to patch then sleep through it.
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thatbloke
Gallente
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Posted - 2010.05.25 08:43:00 -
[11]
hehehehehe nice post, made me chuckle :D The funny thing about this sentence is that by the time you've finished reading it, it's too late for you to realise it doesn't say anything. |
Illwill Bill
House of Tempers
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Posted - 2010.05.25 09:04:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Celeritas 5k Go looking for tritanium IRL. I looked everywhere, they don't have it.
I call BS. There's plenty of Veldspar around... Additionally, it really infuriates me, when people use some pointless rant about signatures as a sig. |
Darth Skorpius
352 Industries
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Posted - 2010.05.25 09:43:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Jo Ka Play the game up to the point they switch off to patch then sleep through it.
this is exactly what ill be doing, having said thast, dt for me is at 11pm anyway, so its my cue to log off and get some sleep ____________________________________________
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Darth Kasbian
Between the lines
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Posted - 2010.05.25 10:02:00 -
[14]
I may just have to copy and paste this to a corp mail.
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vulnevia
The Exploited. Gentlemen's Club
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Posted - 2010.05.25 11:46:00 -
[15]
1. Sleep to 7am 2. Roam the forums 3. Pack your bags 4. Go sit on a train with a laptop w/o internet access for 6 hours. Play some Civ3 5. Wait for BF with key to show up 2h later 6. !!! aka greet your BF 7. Profit, or "Wait, what? Did we have a long Dt today, I didn't notice!"
--------- the EVE Crafting Blog |
Zora'e
Amarr
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Posted - 2010.05.25 12:10:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Celeritas 5k
-No really, EVE isn't actually your life. Chill out.
LIES! I have no life outside of EVE! The 'real world' simulator is broken for me thus my excile into the world of EVE (shhh don't tell me wife I said that, she will so abuse me... oh wait... please tell her... )
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Raeza
Beyond Divinity Inc
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Posted - 2010.05.25 13:01:00 -
[17]
WOAH! someone has too much time on their hands ^^
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Garthmanx
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Posted - 2010.05.25 13:08:00 -
[18]
Nicly said. Me personaly will be heading to the pub the moment there is downtime then drink my way through it.
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