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Ivy Romanova
All Your Machariel Belong to Ham
Industrial Technonauts
90
   |
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:11:00 -
[1] - Quote
Credit to Herr Wilkus
Sadly , he got his thread nerfed , but here it is for the public the enjoy anyway
**********
"Once upon a time there were three little miners. They ventured into the big wide world to earn their fortunes.
The First Little Miner went to Jita and fit his Hulk with Cargo Expanders.
This way, he could AFK mine with a minimum of effort and fuss. It left the miner plenty of freetime to daydream, jerk off, and watch Japanese Anime while earning ISK.
....Then along came the Big Bad Ganker in a Catalyst, saying "Little miner, little miner, I'm going to ******* do you in."
The first miner, predictably, was tabbed out and said nothing.
So the Ganker loaded and overheated and blew the Hulk in, and splattered the pod, too.
The Second Little Miner went to Jita, bought MLU's and a hauler.
This way, he could mine faster than anyone else - and become quite wealthy in no time. It was a bit more work, of course, but he kept himself entertained chatting in local with his neighbors.
...Then along came the Big Bad Ganker, in a Tornado, saying "Little miner, little miner, I'm going to ******* do you in."
The second miner, said "Not by the hair of my chinny, chin chin," aligns, and turned on his Small Booster II.
So the Ganker loaded and overheated and blew the Hulk in. The frightened miner flees in his pod, broke, but alive.
The Third Little Miner went to Jita and fit his Hulk with a DCII, MSE, Invulnerability Fields, and Shield Extender Rigs. Wisely, he sets his Hulk to orbit a nearby asteroid, and always kept an wary eye on his surroundings.
...Then along came the Big Bad Ganker, in a T2 Talos, saying "Little miner, little miner, I'm going to ******* do you in."
The Third miner chuckles to himself, overheats his Invulnerability Fields and aligns to the nearest station.
So the Ganker loaded, and overheated, and simply CANNOT blow the Hulk in.
Defeated, the ganker slinks off in his pod, and the smart little Miner scoops the Talos wreckage and sells it for a tidy profit."
THE END
********** |
Jim Era
Genco
Fatal Ascension
1396
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:13:00 -
[2] - Quote
fail op
Herr Wilkus is bad |
Ivy Romanova
All Your Machariel Belong to Ham
Industrial Technonauts
91
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:15:00 -
[3] - Quote
Jim Era wrote:fail op
Herr Wilkus is bad
Edit: I had to lol
well its still a fun little story lolol |
Muad 'dib
The Imperial Fedaykin
452
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:17:00 -
[4] - Quote
HULK MINE!
http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4375/mynewsig2.jpg |
Ivy Romanova
All Your Machariel Belong to Ham
Industrial Technonauts
91
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:18:00 -
[5] - Quote
Muad 'dib wrote:HULK MINE!
signature fail |
highonpop
Eve Liberation Force
Fatal Ascension
242
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:25:00 -
[6] - Quote
Why should a miner in highsec put effort and thought into what he is doing? Why should they have to risk anything?
Don't you understand how eve works? Max profit for minimum risk.
If someone else stops you from doing this, proceed to the nearest whine-like-a-baby-girl thread in GD and make your demands until CCP nerfs the Big Bad Gankers abilities, or gives you greater AFK mining abilities....
http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Very%20best%20of%20Makalu%20Zarya |
Metal Icarus
Endless Destruction
263
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:26:00 -
[7] - Quote
Cool story bro!
/srs |
Yokai Mitsuhide
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
861
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:27:00 -
[8] - Quote
I stopped reading after "credit to Herr Wilkus"
That is no way to start a post if you want people to continue to read it. |
Kult Altol
Republican Industries
Epsilon Fleet
60
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:31:00 -
[9] - Quote
Man, title is so misleading. :( |
Hypercake Mix
Magical Rainbow Bakery
18
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:35:00 -
[10] - Quote
*reads post date*
Better late than never, eh? |
Josef Djugashvilis
The Scope
Gallente Federation
483
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:37:00 -
[11] - Quote
highonpop wrote:Why should a miner in highsec put effort and thought into what he is doing? Why should they have to risk anything?
Don't you understand how eve works? Max profit for minimum risk.
If someone else stops you from doing this, proceed to the nearest whine-like-a-baby-girl thread in GD and make your demands until CCP nerfs the Big Bad Gankers abilities, or gives you greater AFK mining abilities....
Maximum profit for mininum risk?
I thought that was the credo of the hi-sec miner gankers, hence all the ganker tears of rage about how CCP is destroying Eve.
You want fries with that? |
Alice Saki
3871
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:46:00 -
[12] - Quote
Hehe that was entertaining ^_^
Scottish Interweb Spaceshippy Person, Very Easily Confused.
I like to show my Love by Smashing people in the face with a big Hammer.
|
Ivy Romanova
All Your Machariel Belong to Ham
Industrial Technonauts
93
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 15:59:00 -
[13] - Quote
huh ? what did Herr Wilkus do? |
Virgil Travis
Non Constructive Self Management
Unified Church of the Unobligated
670
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 16:24:00 -
[14] - Quote
Yokai Mitsuhide wrote:I stopped reading after "credit to Herr Wilkus"
That is no way to start a post if you want people to continue to read it.
Likewise. I've read enough of his drivel on the forums.
Unified Church of the Unobligated - madness in the method
Mamma didn't raise no victims. |
Ivy Romanova
All Your Machariel Belong to Ham
Industrial Technonauts
94
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 17:10:00 -
[15] - Quote
Virgil Travis wrote:Yokai Mitsuhide wrote:I stopped reading after "credit to Herr Wilkus"
That is no way to start a post if you want people to continue to read it. Likewise. I've read enough of his drivel on the forums.
What did he do??
did he spit in your milkshakes or kicked you in your jimmies or what |
highonpop
Eve Liberation Force
Fatal Ascension
242
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 17:15:00 -
[16] - Quote
Josef Djugashvilis wrote:highonpop wrote:Why should a miner in highsec put effort and thought into what he is doing? Why should they have to risk anything?
Don't you understand how eve works? Max profit for minimum risk.
If someone else stops you from doing this, proceed to the nearest whine-like-a-baby-girl thread in GD and make your demands until CCP nerfs the Big Bad Gankers abilities, or gives you greater AFK mining abilities.... Maximum profit for mininum risk? I thought that was the credo of the hi-sec miner gankers, hence all the ganker tears of rage about how CCP is destroying Eve.
soooo going into a situation knowing you are going to die is not a risk?
riiiiiite....
ganker gets loot.
ganker looses gankin ship
ganker looses sec status
http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Very%20best%20of%20Makalu%20Zarya |
Jim Era
Genco
Fatal Ascension
1399
|
Posted - 2012.08.28 17:24:00 -
[17] - Quote
Ivy Romanova wrote:huh ? what did Herr Wilkus do?
hes just one of the forum trolls and generally terrible person sort of like
nickyo, james 315, anyone with forum in their name, tom gerard and more.
(tom gerard's threads have actually been enjoyable recently)
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