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El Muchacha
Minmatar Phathcom Enterprises
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Posted - 2011.04.22 15:23:00 -
[1]
So we it is a Thursday night and there is unrest in the corp. The people currently logged in were: Lewis (StanĘs brother in law), Timmy(StanĘs husband), Stan, Frank, me, and Victor. We are just putting out the vibe having guy talk but there is unrest on team speak due to real life circumstances. Mainly everyone is upset that Timmy will never truly be StanĘs husband due to legal issues.
Anyways, I decide that we need some PvP so scouts are sent out to the static next door. Long range scans show 3 Legions, 4 Geddons, a Chimera, and Devoter and an Archon(all are manned). Scout reports the Archon is not at the POS. Archon is found running a radar site. I make the call and we hop into our RR Ravens decked with amarr racials in the mids and 1 caldari jammer each. We are all low SP players so ECM and RR is our only chance. Especially since we are all Caldari.
So to the WH we go in 6 Torp ravens with ECM. Each of us has 1 large RR and 1 Heavy Neut. We all know quite well that we are all going to die. We jump in warp to the scout and land within 3km of the Archon. Lock him down and start firing. Archon is at 75 Armor when help arrives. In comes 3 Geddons and 1 Legion. I assign Lewis(StanĘs brother in law) and Timmy to start focusing on jamming the Geddons and legions.
RR is holding and the Archon is now at 65% armor. Jams are hit or miss but our RR is holding. Suddently I realize that the only person in our fleet that has a point is our cov ops. He has to warp out so we maneuver to position ourselves in front of the Archon. 4 mins in the battle is commencing and the Archon is about capped out. We have this I tell myself.
In comes a 4th Geddon. I assign Stan to try and Jam BS and the Legions as well. The Archon is now at 30% armor and the fighting is intense. It is hit and miss on the jams but again our tanks are holding and the Archon is falling fast. 21% armor a minute later we have this I keep telling myself. It is clear that our opposition is surprised with the amount of ECM that we have brought to the field and it is working. Morale is high when the Chimera shows up.
I order all caldari racial on the Chimera. Chimera then enters triage and I order all neuts on the Chimera. The first has been going on for 9 minutes now and the Archon is slowly regaining shields and armor. Our tank is still holding. Jamming is called out and we are very precise with who each person is jamming and for the most part the Geddons and Legions are unable to do anything.
Chimera runs out of cap about half way through triage and we start to focus all DPS on the Chimera. 90% shields, 85% shields 3 minutes later the Chimera is at 50% shields and dropping fast. He is out of cap. We have this I tell myself. Again our tank is holding. Chimera is now at 23% shields and probably has 3 mins of triage left. I order 3 guys to focus Neuts on the Archon. Hopefully if we canĘt jam the Archon he will be out of cap and unable to help the Chimera upon coming out of triage.
I tell team speak that we are getting a carrier kill tonight and Timmy lets out some weird sort of high pitched squeal. The Chimera is now in structure 3 mins later upon coming out of triage. Everyone is jammed out. Then my phone rings. I align the fleet to the WH we get out of range and warp away so I can answer my phone.
The End
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Equitorian Jaxx
Caldari Bellum Angelus
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Posted - 2011.04.22 17:12:00 -
[2]
Real men dont have phones
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BuckStrider
Caldari Double-Down Narwhals Ate My Duck
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Posted - 2011.04.22 17:12:00 -
[3]
Man you are so full of crap
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Entrepreuna
Minmatar Beyond The Gates
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Posted - 2011.04.22 17:27:00 -
[4]
Meh battle report seemed really accurate and legit. I'm guessing this is an alt but this actually did happen with their corp(whoever it may be). Just a thought.....
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Vella'Nox
Amarr Apolitical One Power
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Posted - 2011.04.22 17:28:00 -
[5]
Originally by: BuckStrider Man you are so full of crap
LOL
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Spurty
Caldari V0LTA VOLTA Corp
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Posted - 2011.04.22 20:37:00 -
[6]
Originally by: BuckStrider Man you are so full of crap
Its worse than that!
Fizzt!
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Capricorn 0ne
Caldari Heaven's Army Fidelas Constans
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Posted - 2011.04.22 20:46:00 -
[7]
Edited by: Capricorn 0ne on 22/04/2011 20:46:17 I present to you, A tale from my anorexic fast food binge. . .
So we it is a Thursday night and there is unrest in my stomach. The people currently paying attention to me were: Lewis (My Doctor), Timmy(My Therapist), Stan, Frank, me, and Victor. We are just putting out the vibe having guy talk(Not gay) but there is unrest within my stomach due to real life binging and purging . Mainly everyone in my head is upset that Timmy will never truly understand my middle school problems .
Anyways, I decide that we need some fast food so scouts are sent out to the thrifty shopping booklet. Long range scissors cut out 3 Legions (of Mcdonalds meals) , 4 Geddons (KFC Combos), a Chimera( Taco bell coupons), and Devoter (Jack in the box) and an Archon(Burger King). Scout reports the Burger King's drive through is empty. The Burger King is found running a special on Whoppers. I make the call and we hop into our cars decked with extra cup holders in the mids and 1 insulin shot each. We are all really hungry.
So to the Burger King drive through we go in our cars. Each of us has enough money to drop on these meals. We all know quite well that we are all going to die of diabetes. We jump at this chance of binging all night and arrive withing 3 feet from the burger king. Lock him down and start ordering. the Burger King only has three baskets of frieds down before their other shift of workers comes to help. In comes 3 angry teenagers and one shift supervisor. I assign our team to starting ordering the A1 steak house meals.
In comes the night manager. I assign Stan to starting demanding a better deal for his meals. The burger king is now down to 30% of the chicken nuggets they started with and things start to heat up. It is hit and miss on the French fries and onion rings.I start to feel my fingers tingle as I repress into diabetic shock, we have I tell myself. It is clear that our opposition is surprised when we pull out shock tarts to boost our blood surger. Morale is high when the pizza hut we orderd shows up.
I order all the spare hands available to grab at the Chim-bread sticks. Chimera then enters triage and I order all neuts on the Chimera. The fight has been going on for near ten minutes. Our will to live is still holding. We have to keep pacing ourselves as to how much we are eating.
The pizza guy runs out of supreme and starts to panic. 90% cheese, 50% pepperoni and 10% ground beef, he is falling fast as his ingridents to make pizza are growing slim. We have this I tell myself. Again our hunger is holding. However things are going south, and as our intestinal track fills to the brim with the greasy misgivings, I order a full purge.
I tell team speak that we are getting this done tonight and timmy lets out a cry of pain in his side as he succumbs to the diabetic shock. The pizza man retreats back to his geo metro defeated. I open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur. Then ring my phone and call 911 as I jam the insulin shot into my thigh. We have beat them. As my consciousness fades and I look at the try and realize we did. We beat the burger king.
The End
RUST GSBG 2LGT2QT |
buck herrick
Minmatar 101st Space Marine Force Nulli Secunda
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Posted - 2011.04.23 09:15:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Capricorn 0ne .......... I open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur. The End
just this FTW !
poasting like this makes me regret quitting eve (nearly)
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El Muchacha
Minmatar Phathcom Enterprises
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Posted - 2011.04.23 14:39:00 -
[9]
Lewis(Stan's brother in law) does not appreciate you guys making fun of his sexuality. It's quite offensive.
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BuckStrider
Caldari Double-Down Narwhals Ate My Duck
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Posted - 2011.04.23 15:02:00 -
[10]
Originally by: El Muchacha Lewis(Stan's brother in law) does not appreciate you guys making fun of his sexuality. It's quite offensive.
I find your **** posting offensive
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khazak mokl
Amarr Black Viper Nomads
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Posted - 2011.04.24 06:41:00 -
[11]
This actually made me cry with laughter
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limbus
Minmatar Big Shadows Initiative Mercenaries
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Posted - 2011.04.24 07:01:00 -
[12]
I love these storys, more plz
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