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MrMorph
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:03:00 -
[1]
So....
Word has come to me, telling me that ccp is about to swing their nerfbat once more.
This time pulse-lasers will get the nerf, or so is said. Lets take a few moments to reflect on sertain things.
1.) When ccp's nerfbat is laid to rest:
Fleet battles will consist of: (Shortened down a bit ;)
Your Mega Pulse Laser I misses NerfBat from hell [ccp]
Your Mega Pulse Laser I misses NerfBat from hell [ccp]
Your Mega Pulse Laser I misses NerfBat from hell [ccp]
Your Mega Pulse Laser I misses NerfBat from hell [ccp]
Your Mega Pulse Laser I misses NerfBat from hell [ccp]
Your Mega Pulse Laser I lightly hits NerfBat from hell [ccp] doing 5.3 damage.
Your Mega Pulse Laser I misses NerfBat from hell [ccp]
Your Mega Pulse Laser I misses NerfBat from hell [ccp]
Your Mega Pulse Laser I lightly hits NerfBat from hell [ccp] doing 5.3 damage.
and so on...
This applies to more and more gunnery weapons out there.
2.) The close range combat scenario.
Fleet battles will need evasive manuevering lvl 22 + advanced anti-crash lvl 50
This due to the fact that 400 ships will have to be within 5km of eachother due to ccps nerfbat beeing launched at range.
3.) The amazing new tech5 crystals will be added and availible from a
"OMFG LET THE RICH DUDES HAVE THESE TOO" agent near you. (299 jumps)
These will also allow you to fire from 15 km, the downside is that it has a base
damage of 0.2 (Meaning you will have to have 24 gankageddons to take out the bubble
the nublar put at gate)
3.) Torps/cruise has not been significantly nerfed damagewize yet, but as ccp can
affor more bats, they will surely trow their attention to them.
Torps explode miday trough their path (wich is now reduced to 10km at 100m/s)
This is due to the fact that ccp will add some kind of space-friction that inter-
acts with the new hitpoint systems of torps/cruise. Wich means you will have to
train antifriction to lvl5 to avoid torp detonating at launch.
Thenagain, this will mean them having to remove the neat feature, where u fire at
a mwd'ing frig 120km away, just to find that your torps/cruise are 120km behind you
by the time the frig is upon you to tackle you. BUT, have no fear, cause the 6
gankageddons that just warped in, 15km away from you, will have to move 10km at
135m/s before they enter their hitrange at all, you got plenty of time to launch
you drones to get free. Or do you ?
You launch your 10(max) light drones, cause they r the only thing that can hit
frigs.......you wait.....your mom calls you downstairs for dinner.....
You figure, hey, you got time to have a bite before the BS' are even close.
-10 minutes later-
You have finished dinner, and are now at 80% shield. The armageddons that were 15km
away from u, r now at their prime range, and atleast 2 of their now 9000 rounds
have hit you. (Read: <TomB> Tracking divided by 56, what a wonderfull idea Mr Yulai
Miner)
You can now see that your drones have begun to scratch the frigates shields, and
such you calculate that it will be another 17 hours before you damage him so much
that he will run.
There is now about 123 cruise missiles following the frig doing 200m/s, the DOUBLE
of what torps do. What a glorious day.
4.) Miners will now not longer be the "Oh stfu u n00blar" of forums, cause they will
be in on the whining aswell. Roids will now orbit around in the belt at 2000m/s,
and you'll have to mine them while you can. (While in range)
Mininglasers do ligh,well aimed, an perfect hits.
Mr Yulai Miner will brag on forums that his Modulated Stripminer tech4 did 4
perfect hits in a row on the Superglued Incostious Consentrated Veldecroksparochre.
(Yes, they added 45986 new ore roid types)
5.) Cause of the constant whining of people not beeing able to kill the NPCs anymore in
the belt where they mine for minerals, cause they lost a bs after a 56 BS gankfleet
showed up on their gate earlier. (While afk ofcource), ccp decides to do a HUGE NPC
reform (Like the one in castor patch), where they gave npc's 500% resistance and 0.1%
more damage) and they remove 2, TWO, "2", hitpoints from npc's, claiming they now will
be much easier to kill. At the same time, they up the npc bountys 0.0001%, to make
npc'ing a viable profession. Cause you can if you want, make atleast 1/50th of any other
profession bring in isk-wize.
6.) EvE-Online merges with the makers of "Oil Imperium", wich is a Oil-drilling simulator.
The "oil-imperium" guys dont like all the violenze, and wants TomB to dust off the nerf
bat.
Now, return to 1.) and start there again..... just change tha values to the worse.
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Trishys cookies they are !
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TheJay
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:10:00 -
[2]
LMFAO
Nice list of changes dude 
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Kimaya
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:13:00 -
[3]
I've never laughed so hard at 7:11am in the morning. Thank you for taking your time to write that out. What's sad is that I see all that happening in eve...
Organized Chaos...who doesn't love an oxymoron |
Min Davoi
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:18:00 -
[4]
Like kimaya said you made my day :)
Lol so badly cohffe almost came ot my nose :)
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Hans Roaming
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:27:00 -
[5]
You forgot to mention the Megathron that also warped in at 15km, engaged it's MWD until it reached optimal range, fired a massive opening volley from it's electron cannon and then run out of cap.
WTS: Male, 37, single, can fly starships, build rockets and dance Salsa.
WTB: Female, plays eve, lives near London UK |
MrMorph
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:30:00 -
[6]
 Originally by: Hans Roaming
You forgot to mention the Megathron that also warped in at 15km, engaged it's MWD until it reached optimal range, fired a massive opening volley from it's electron cannon and then run out of cap.
Damn, will remember that in my "Nerf Newsletter of the week" :)
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Fogy
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:32:00 -
[7]
Edited by: Fogy on 16/02/2005 12:34:35
L O L!! \o/
STICKY!! HAHAHA :D
Cheers!
Fogy
"From my rotting boddy flowers shall grow and I am in them, and that is eternity"
♥RUBRA♥
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BrerLapin
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:36:00 -
[8]
Did someone die recentley in PvP or something ?
If its that bad you should quit & escrow me all our stuff :D
The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum - O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law |
Kikapu
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:36:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Kikapu on 16/02/2005 12:42:01
wtfleetpwnage.
...and what Hans Roaming said. I'd say give all gallente ships the mwd bonus the Deimos has.
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Making a new char picture will not work on the forums. The payment, however, does. |
MrMorph
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:39:00 -
[10]
Originally by: BrerLapin
Did someone die recentley in PvP or something ?
If its that bad you should quit & escrow me all our stuff :D
I did not die in any pvp.
I mearly wish to blow my mind out on the forums.
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Trishys cookies they are !
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LUKEC
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:49:00 -
[11]
rofl, nice dmg mods there...
but mp-s need some nerfing, and torpedoes too. But i hope they don't ubernerf em... sorry about that, else blasters need some big love. I don't care, but i want to kill MT sometimes :).
I don't care so much about mps, cause i rarely fly bs and mp just don't hit me, but... torpedoes are pain in small ships.
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Nigel
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Posted - 2005.02.16 12:57:00 -
[12]
LOL nice one MrMorph 
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Karistis
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Posted - 2005.02.16 13:02:00 -
[13]
LOL
_________________________________________
2005.01.17 22:04:22 combat Chackle [PUSY] perfectly runs from you, wrecking for 1500 cowardice. |
Shin Ra
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Posted - 2005.02.16 13:19:00 -
[14]
Enter a scorpion with 6 multispecs ala the new EW rules. Instead of 2 hits and 9000 misses, the geddons are getting 2 hits and 8999misses cause one of those times the jamming actually worked.
Later studies revealed that EW sucked so much that it didnt actually work and the extra lag caused by all the stupid calculations caused the player to unlock the target by accident.
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Heinky> Dont mix eve with rl it can be bad for your health |
Tsietisin
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Posted - 2005.02.16 13:39:00 -
[15]
Nice rant dude, v funny
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Fuglife
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Posted - 2005.02.16 13:55:00 -
[16]
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Schroni
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Posted - 2005.02.16 14:26:00 -
[17]
omg
---
SNIGG Forums  my videos |
DrunkenOne
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Posted - 2005.02.16 14:29:00 -
[18]
Rofl 2 hps hahaha.
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splattercat
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Posted - 2005.02.16 15:01:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Shin Ra
Enter a scorpion with 6 multispecs ala the new EW rules. Instead of 2 hits and 9000 misses, the geddons are getting 2 hits and 8999misses cause one of those times the jamming actually worked.
Later studies revealed that EW sucked so much that it didnt actually work and the extra lag caused by all the stupid calculations caused the player to unlock the target by accident.
ROFL,
And brillant work on post,
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Xoria Krint
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Posted - 2005.02.16 15:02:00 -
[20]
Hahaha :D Great one MrMorph
Space Invader | Shadow Of The Ghost | Xoria Krint
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HeLlRaIzA666
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Posted - 2005.02.16 15:05:00 -
[21]
Lol, the only problem is, this is so so true 
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In War There Are No Runners Up...
Image by Denrace |
ParMizaN
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Posted - 2005.02.16 16:41:00 -
[22]
*brings out the autocannons that needed some serious lovin and blasts the geddons with a rof of 0.001and a dmg mod of 1011eleven from off the scanner grid*
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Run and fall or stand in line, in the end what's your's is mine |
myggan
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Posted - 2005.02.16 16:45:00 -
[23]
cool reading mrmorph very true laughed a couple of times
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NAFnist
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Posted - 2005.02.16 16:50:00 -
[24]
Edited by: NAFnist on 16/02/2005 16:50:31
Oil Imperium!! I played that alot ROFL
edit: and i lub'd it
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Vult
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Posted - 2005.02.16 17:24:00 -
[25]
Also of note:
7.) Agent level 1 missions will now have the difficulty of level 4 missions, with a loyalty point multiplier of .01. Agent offers will expire in 15 minutes, but offers will be greatly modified. 36000 loyalty points will net you a 75mm autocannon I. Also of note, agent standings must be at least 9.5 to use a quality -18 level 1 agent.
8.) Hybrid and Projectile weapons will now have capacities of .05, with reload times slightly increased to 60 seconds.
9.) Inertial Stabilizers will still not be fixed.
10.) n00bs like myself will officially be given the ability to train skills at a slightly faster rate while veterans will be victims of the skill training nerfbat. Battleship level 5 will now take 196 days instead of the 2 hours n00bs will require.
Thanks and have a nice day.
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Attiladehun
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Posted - 2005.02.16 18:31:00 -
[26]
hehe i must say very funny to read
And let me say more more more more
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Lagartija Nick
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Posted - 2005.02.16 19:00:00 -
[27]
Hey, don't knock the oil imperium guys. That game at least had a scanner that worked!
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Frank Horrigan
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Posted - 2005.02.16 19:21:00 -
[28]
LOL
Originally by: Oveur
Originally by: Bhaal
What has turned out better than expected?
Everything. Remember, we're from Iceland.
(\_/)
(O.o)
(> <) This i |
Verone
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Posted - 2005.02.16 19:40:00 -
[29]
this will prolly get locked and or deleted soon...
COME AND SOCIALISE WITH US NASTY SNIGG BASTARDS AT : WWW.SNIGG.CJB.NET |
Talyn Draco
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Posted - 2005.02.16 23:33:00 -
[30]
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