I really did. I said it over and over again. In fact, I said it so much, my wife jumped up and down and gave me the longest embrace of our marriage.

And yet, there was something. An itch I suppose. The faintest, slightest feeling I should check the forums after 7 months. And then, some market news. And then, and most importantly, the battleclinic stats.

There have been many explosions in recent months. There has been rage, quitting, rage quitting, destruction, mayhem, the death of solo, the rebirth of solo, Goonswarm. All the things I missed so dearly and have loved since 2003, all in their infamous glory and for all to see.

And thus, here I am. My accounts have been reactivated. My wife will likely divorce me, but thats okay. I have all of these beautiful, masterful explosions to look forward to in the coming months. What the f*** was I thinking?

But then, I heard that wonderful sound of our favorite female robot telling me that I am "connecting." All my fears vanish, and all of my hope restored. I am back and look forward to seeing all of you shortly.

-V

And when you are divorced and alone you will on occasion regret it -- especially late at night when the rest of the world is asleep and you are thinking about the years that stretch out in front of you and glance at that end we all share but must face alone. It's at that moment you will feel an emptiness so profound some call terrifying. In your panic you will call out to God who you may have never in your life believed in. Then, a few minutes later it will end and you will be asleep with the thoughts that tomorrow will be a different day, tomorrow you will make things right, tomorrow you will change. But you don't change. You wake up to the same routine -- last night a distant memory, tucked away and silenced by the vice that holds you warmly as long as you hold it.

And when I say you, I really mean me. But we all know it really means us.