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Xenuria
Gallente Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.06.23 14:43:00 -
[1]
I would like to take a moment to make a serious non-troll thread on the forums because I think raising awareness and promoting education is important.
As most of you know I have autism, however many of my peers and those close to me would argue that I have educated and trained myself so well that it is almost impossible to detect unless I deliberately relax my internal control mechanism. I mention this because the norm is that people with ASDs have serious problems with social skills and appropriate communication. This arguably is not the case with me because since I was 14 I was going to collage and taking classes on psychology and social skills.
Now we come to the focal point of this thread. Last night I was spending some time in the ingame channel C&P where I Was told by Spank that as long as I did not troll that I would be allowed to stay. Being the person I am I like rules and following them. This sort of structure is what keeps me sane.
After 2 days of being in the channel and having some meaningful conversations and discussions with the channel at large there was one individual who seemingly out of nowhere told me to shut up for 5 mins. This was somebody I had never seen in the channel before and as I was in a conversation with a few other people in channel I was not about to be rude to them and suddenly cut them off because this guy was getting upset.
Then Next thing I know I am banned from the channel and I ask Spank to find out what this guys problem is and he comes back and says that I have been "voted out".
This brings me to my next and most important point. Communication is key! If you do what these people did and you bottle up all your emotions instead of politely and appropriately expressing yourself to others then this is the sort of thing that happens.
Obviously I was confused as at no point did anybody tell me that I was upsetting them except for this one guy who decided to interrupt me and act like the channel was his personal world that other people were not allowed to have discussions in. So I asked spank to tell them to send me eve mails explaining to me what it was that upset them so much and why they only came forward when I was not present.
The mails I received were full of trolling and as such the only thing I actually learned from this is that there are evidently people in this community that are socially immature or incapable of using their Big boy words and expressing themselves.
This is why I made this thread, so that hopefully I can help educate the community at large.
If somebody is doing something that upsets you then instead of holding it in and letting rage fester and cloud your judgement, you should say "Hey I don't like when you do X"
This is called using "I Language" and it is key to mature and adult social interaction.
If any of the people that had trouble with this (you know who you are)Want some help, I have no problem taking time out of my day to tutor you or recommend some reading material.
It has always been my goal to educate even through trolling and subterfuge. "Sorry, Your Sov Options are Unavailable due to a PSN Outage."
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Xenuria
Gallente Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.06.23 14:54:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Xenuria on 23/06/2011 15:00:53 I also know some of you that complained about me were just trolling for the sake of trolling and causing drama.. In that case you did very well. 8/10 you managed to troll spank into banning me from the channel.
Those of you who were not obviously have some issues with appropriate communication skills and thats fine.. There is nothing wrong with that and it is not really your fault as far as I am concerned. It only becomes your fault when you refuse to try and learn better ways of expressing yourself.
As always there IS a BLOCK feature that allows you to squelch a user, but I would prefer that instead of hideing from the problem you face it head on and try to learn how to express yourself in a mature way.
For those of you that have problems so serious that the idea of having me tutor you is frightening or upsetting then allow me to lay out some basic concepts in this thread. You can take it or leave it. At this point after making the thread I have done my moral duty to try and help the less fortunate.
Consider the following Scenarios Scenario 1: Jim really dose not like cats and hates when people talk about them. But Jim has problems with social skills so he dose not know how to express himself appropriately
Tom: I really like cats! June: Me too my cat sleeps on my pillow with me 6 mins go by talking about cats Jim explodes with rage because instead of expressing himself he has decided to bottle up his emotions inside.
Jim: Can you shut up please for 5 mins!
-------- In the above scenario The users of the channel are talking about cats and dialog is mutually enjoyable for those involved. Jim however does not like cats. Instead of muting the offending individuals or expressing himself in a polite way he has decided to become enraged.
What Jim should have done is say "Jim: hey guys can we please not talk about cats I find the discussion offensive" Alternatively he could just block or mute the people discussing the topic that offends him.
The point I am trying to make is that if I or anybody else is doing something that offends you, then you need to express yourself with I language. Rumors regarding my ability to read minds over standard TCP/IP are greatly exaggerated. No matter the situation, unless you express yourself I or anybody else for that matter will be ignorant of how you feel.
Let me give you another example which is closer to what actually transpired.
Jake and 5 other users are having a discussion. James and an unknown number of other people are deeply frustrated and offended by the conversation but instead of saying so they complain to the person in charge of the channel.
This is an example of a Failure to Communicate. James and his friends should have use block or simply stated that they were upset with the conversation taking place even though the conversation taking place dose not violate any rules, somebody like me has no problem with catering to those who have issues.
I can not stress this enough, Use your words! If you can not use your words and be constructive in your criticism then there is no place for you in the new world I am building. "Sorry, Your Sov Options are Unavailable due to a PSN Outage."
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Malaclypse Muscaria
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Posted - 2011.06.23 15:46:00 -
[3]
Ok, now I'm curious: what exactly was that conversation about, causing those people to get so upset?
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Capdown Jakuard
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Posted - 2011.06.23 15:54:00 -
[4]
Quote: Scenario 1: Jim really dose not like cats and hates when people talk about them. But Jim has problems with social skills so he dose not know how to express himself appropriately
Tom: I really like cats! June: Me too my cat sleeps on my pillow with me 6 mins go by talking about cats Jim explodes with rage because instead of expressing himself he has decided to bottle up his emotions inside.
Jim: Can you shut up please for 5 mins!
Possibly it had nothing to do with Tom liking cats at all. Jim had no personal dislike for Tom because of the discussion on cats, however he quickly grew a dislike after Toms reaction to be being told to stop talking about cats
This was because Tom did not realize that, as sad as it is, not everyone can be friends and sometimes it is best to try not to fix something that is impossible to fix. Toms instant assumption that it had nothing to do with a personality clash but a fault with Jim himself angered not only Jim, but other friends too. ...
Jim learned that he should not have been so rude
Tom learned that personality's can not change and he should have only focused only on his relationship with June ...
Both now going there own ways and taking back something with them, there was sure to be a happy ending just over the horizon :)
... I was not there, but is my guess to what happened close?
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Xenuria
Gallente Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.06.23 16:00:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Capdown Jakuard
Quote: Scenario 1: Jim really dose not like cats and hates when people talk about them. But Jim has problems with social skills so he dose not know how to express himself appropriately
Tom: I really like cats! June: Me too my cat sleeps on my pillow with me 6 mins go by talking about cats Jim explodes with rage because instead of expressing himself he has decided to bottle up his emotions inside.
Jim: Can you shut up please for 5 mins!
Possibly it had nothing to do with Tom liking cats at all. Jim had no personal dislike for Tom because of the discussion on cats, however he quickly grew a dislike after Toms reaction to be being told to stop talking about cats
This was because Tom did not realize that, as sad as it is, not everyone can be friends and sometimes it is best to try not to fix something that is impossible to fix. Toms instant assumption that it had nothing to do with a personality clash but a fault with Jim himself angered not only Jim, but other friends too. ...
Jim learned that he should not have been so rude
Tom learned that personality's can not change and he should have only focused only on his relationship with June ...
Both now going there own ways and taking back something with them, there was sure to be a happy ending just over the horizon :)
... I was not there, but is my guess to what happened close?
Nope.jpg
It just so happens that some of the people in C&P eve channel are socially incompetent and get asshurt when they don't have everybodies full attention.
It's really just children being children or more likely but also more depressing it's grown adults showing a blatant disregard for civility and proper social skills.
It is of no consequence at this point. Being banned from that channel was a blessing in disguise because at least now I know that those people are just not worth my time unless they approach me and are actually willing to learn and better themselves. I plan to make my own channel were this sort of childish behavior is not tolerated. "Sorry, Your Sov Options are Unavailable due to a PSN Outage."
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Miso Hawnee
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Posted - 2011.06.23 16:25:00 -
[6]
Edited by: Miso Hawnee on 23/06/2011 16:25:56 You got booted from a den of brainwipes. They did you a favor by excluding you from their ***gotry.
Just be glad that as an adult with a disciplined mind, you are better off than 90% of humanity. Enjoy your successful career and life. The kind of guys that voted you out probably have rage issues about being 20 something and still working a scrub job and McDonalds or some other random retail entry level ****** job.
Your intelligence and discipline is both a gift and a curse. It is a gift because you are faster and more focused than most others. It is a curse because that means you will find very few like minds to groove with. Either start smoking pot and binge drinking to slow your mind down to the state of the others or accept the fact that you are mostly alone on this planet.
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Slade Trillgon
Endless Possibilities Inc.
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Posted - 2011.06.23 16:34:00 -
[7]
A troll let you into their chat channel and then told you to behave yourself, and then you got banned. Sounds like you got trolled honestly and the only miscommunication was that you felt that Spank was not troll to begin with.
Slade
:Signature Temporarily Disabled: |
Capdown Jakuard
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Posted - 2011.06.23 16:34:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Capdown Jakuard on 23/06/2011 16:39:42
Originally by: Xenuria
Originally by: Capdown Jakuard
Quote: Scenario 1: Jim really dose not like cats and hates when people talk about them. But Jim has problems with social skills so he dose not know how to express himself appropriately
Tom: I really like cats! June: Me too my cat sleeps on my pillow with me 6 mins go by talking about cats Jim explodes with rage because instead of expressing himself he has decided to bottle up his emotions inside.
Jim: Can you shut up please for 5 mins!
Possibly it had nothing to do with Tom liking cats at all. Jim had no personal dislike for Tom because of the discussion on cats, however he quickly grew a dislike after Toms reaction to be being told to stop talking about cats
This was because Tom did not realize that, as sad as it is, not everyone can be friends and sometimes it is best to try not to fix something that is impossible to fix. Toms instant assumption that it had nothing to do with a personality clash but a fault with Jim himself angered not only Jim, but other friends too. ...
Jim learned that he should not have been so rude
Tom learned that personality's can not change and he should have only focused only on his relationship with June ...
Both now going there own ways and taking back something with them, there was sure to be a happy ending just over the horizon :)
... I was not there, but is my guess to what happened close?
Nope.jpg
It just so happens that some of the people in C&P eve channel are socially incompetent and get asshurt when they don't have everybodies full attention.
It's really just children being children or more likely but also more depressing it's grown adults showing a blatant disregard for civility and proper social skills.
It is of no consequence at this point. Being banned from that channel was a blessing in disguise because at least now I know that those people are just not worth my time unless they approach me and are actually willing to learn and better themselves. I plan to make my own channel were this sort of childish behavior is not tolerated.
Ok, I'll stop being smug... But there was a chance that all it was :P I've no doubt it's just that there was no communication and that you made Jim feel insecure because your convosation with June was too hard for Jim to be a part of... Like you say, wanted attention drawn away from it and on to him... Happens all the time.
It's pretty hard to understand the tone something is typed in, or how to trust the person thats typing it... Throw one or two immature people in the mix and you get a hell of a lot of confusion, we've all been there :P (EDIT: I know you already know that, but jus' sayin) As far as online, I used to always be very reserved to avoid upsetting people, but I've decided now it's actually more fun to just be as obnoxious as everyone else I guess this is pretty much the definition of a troll, purposely lower yourself to other peoples levels whilst enjoying yourself at the same time...
Or maybe some people think the definition of a troll is someone who get kicks out of annoying people because your secretly ****ed off about something... There should be two different words for it... Maybe there is
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Vogue
Short Bus Pole Dancers
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Posted - 2011.06.23 16:45:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Vogue on 23/06/2011 16:55:57 Edited by: Vogue on 23/06/2011 16:50:15 Everyone should love thyself. This seed of well being will flow to giving yourself a good starting point for inquiry\advocate positions on issues. It is a rough and tumble world though. As people mature most of us has a chip on the shoulder over some part of their past where they was wronged. Myself I try not to indiscriminately afflict others will ills that have been cast to myself. But then I am at an entropic position in life where I have had RL nerfed from level 3 to 1. So I waddle along alone in my tanking hauler of life disenfranchised from others. I used to feel very alone a few years ago. But then I realized how social order food chains work. And how they assimilate people into tribal groups with honey in one ear and a dash of poison in the other to create blood pacts. All in all though I far more appreciate the texture of life as I have rolled with the burns.
.................................................. Fortress Of Solitude |
Xenuria
Gallente Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.06.23 17:16:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Miso Hawnee Edited by: Miso Hawnee on 23/06/2011 16:25:56 You got booted from a den of brainwipes. They did you a favor by excluding you from their ***gotry.
Just be glad that as an adult with a disciplined mind, you are better off than 90% of humanity. Enjoy your successful career and life. The kind of guys that voted you out probably have rage issues about being 20 something and still working a scrub job and McDonalds or some other random retail entry level ****** job.
Your intelligence and discipline is both a gift and a curse. It is a gift because you are faster and more focused than most others. It is a curse because that means you will find very few like minds to groove with. Either start smoking pot and binge drinking to slow your mind down to the state of the others or accept the fact that you are mostly alone on this planet.
You make a really valid point. The Channel was Called C&P and had people like Spank,and helicity as moderators so I really should not have gone in expecting people to be civilized. "Sorry, Your Sov Options are Unavailable due to a PSN Outage."
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Frau Klaps
Amarr Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.06.23 23:33:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Slade Trillgon A troll let you into their chat channel and then told you to behave yourself, and then you got banned. Sounds like you got trolled honestly and the only miscommunication was that you felt that Spank was not troll to begin with.
Slade
I love how people think I'm a troll just because I speak a little harshly to whiners and idiots.
Xenuria is a nice guy even if he does have a habit of talking a little too much. I have let him into my corporation and subsequently invited him into the chat channel which I frequent the most since. Unfortunately I have a moderators responsibility to the channel and upon discussion with the regulars it was decided to remove him from the channel.
Unfortunately during diplomatic conversation with Xenuria my internet connection died and I was unable to smooth over the situation successfully. I operate on a stolen wifi connection and it's laggy enough at the best of times. Unfortunately this means I can disconnect at any time and it may have appeared that I have simply quit the client to ignore my corp mate. This is not the case.
Furthermore, Miso Hawnee (an alt); While I fully agree the subforum C&P is overrun with imbeciles, the actual in-game channel is player moderated and as such is actually quite social and informative. We have members from various areas of expertise and varied alliances and welcome both bitter vets and ambitious noobs alike. The situation that lead up to Xenuria's removal is an example of this vigilance.
Kindly,
Frau Klaps - THRoSBO senior diplomat.
~~~
(ಠ_ృ)
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Xenuria
Gallente Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.06.24 02:52:00 -
[12]
HEHE... Vigilance..
I think you mean Xenophobia or should I say "XENUphobia" amirite?
It's water under the bridge at this point. I have my own super secret special Intel channel for like minded folk and I am happy with it. I mostly just make pretend there are other people in there and have conversations with my various alts. It's a very challenging activity to formulate researched and meaningful arguments AGAINST yourself on controversial topics like abortion and politics.
If anything the channel stands as a testimate to my ability to play a role and see things from many perspectives. I don't know why I never thought of doing this before.
"Sorry, Your Sov Options are Unavailable due to a PSN Outage."
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Brujo Loco
Amarr Brujeria Teologica
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Posted - 2011.06.24 04:47:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Frau Klaps
Originally by: Slade Trillgon A troll let you into their chat channel and then told you to behave yourself, and then you got banned. Sounds like you got trolled honestly and the only miscommunication was that you felt that Spank was not troll to begin with.
Slade
I love how people think I'm a troll just because I speak a little harshly to whiners and idiots.
Xenuria is a nice guy even if he does have a habit of talking a little too much. I have let him into my corporation and subsequently invited him into the chat channel which I frequent the most since. Unfortunately I have a moderators responsibility to the channel and upon discussion with the regulars it was decided to remove him from the channel.
Unfortunately during diplomatic conversation with Xenuria my internet connection died and I was unable to smooth over the situation successfully. I operate on a stolen wifi connection and it's laggy enough at the best of times. Unfortunately this means I can disconnect at any time and it may have appeared that I have simply quit the client to ignore my corp mate. This is not the case.
Furthermore, Miso Hawnee (an alt); While I fully agree the subforum C&P is overrun with imbeciles, the actual in-game channel is player moderated and as such is actually quite social and informative. We have members from various areas of expertise and varied alliances and welcome both bitter vets and ambitious noobs alike. The situation that lead up to Xenuria's removal is an example of this vigilance.
Kindly,
Frau Klaps - THRoSBO senior diplomat.
Frau my CQ avatar wants to meet yours, I suddenly have the urge to meet you and know you and care for you. I think I'm beginning to feel atracted to your female avatar, please, A/S/L on you before my CQ Avatar goes nuts over yours? We have so many things in common, like, we play eve. Isnt that a sign? ---Archipelago Theory---
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