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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.06.24 04:39:00 -
[1]
John Turbefield waited. The lights above him blinked and did not correctly conform to screen-space ambient occlusion. There were microtransactions in the game. He could not afford them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to CCP Hilmar had not been listened to, and now it was too late. Far too late for now anyway.
John Turbefield was a CCP employee for four years. When he was young, he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy!". Dad said "NO YOU WILL BE FIRE FOR MICROTRANSACTION"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of CCP, he knew there were microtransactions.
"This is Hilmar!" the telephone crackered. "You must fight the microtransactions!"
So John gotted his internal memo, and blew up the thread.
"HE'S GOING TO KILL OUR PROFITS!" said CCP.
"I will fire him!" said Soundwave, and he deployed the Incarna patch.
John argued with him, and tried to show him up, but then the graphics card overheated, and they were frozen and unable to move.
"No! I MUST FIGHT THE MICROTRANSACTIONS!" he shouted.
The telephone said "No, John, you are the microtransactions"
And then John had a monocle. ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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Yoshitaka Moromuo
Distant Light Galactic Apocalypse Now.
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Posted - 2011.06.24 04:41:00 -
[2]
I approve.
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Cuja Ituin
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Posted - 2011.06.24 04:42:00 -
[3]
Changed my life.
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Vin Hellsing
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Posted - 2011.06.24 04:43:00 -
[4]
Originally by: Yo****aka Moromuo I approve.
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Lhanisa Khinan
Amarr Morning Glory Media
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Posted - 2011.06.24 04:44:00 -
[5]
Glorious.
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.06.24 04:51:00 -
[6]
Also, $60. ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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Taleron Yasuhira
Caldari Perkone
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Posted - 2011.06.25 03:00:00 -
[7]
A captivating, and emotionally moving story.
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Benri Konpaku
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Posted - 2011.06.25 03:40:00 -
[8]
I approve.
Just needs a Monocle bald guy pic above the text so it feels more like a Chronicle. |
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.06.26 03:43:00 -
[9]
Bamp. ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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kestrael nanahara
Caldari Wrecking Shots Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2011.06.26 03:48:00 -
[10]
This thread best thread
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Jason Edwards
Internet Tough Guy Spreadsheets Online
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Posted - 2011.06.26 03:59:00 -
[11]
Microtransistors are people too. Carbonists.. ------------------------ To make a megathron from scratch, you must first invent the eve universe.
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Tugrath Akers
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Posted - 2011.06.26 04:00:00 -
[12]
I bet John wears $20 pants like the average Joe.
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Dardanos Herakles
Caldari Forced aggressions Lawful Insanity
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Posted - 2011.06.26 04:02:00 -
[13]
You sir, have made my day. I salute your efforts! http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1536233&page=1
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Harcosi
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Posted - 2011.06.26 04:03:00 -
[14]
lol
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.06.26 06:58:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Dardanos Herakles You sir, have made my day. I salute your efforts!
We can but try ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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William Cooly
Sol Enterprises
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Posted - 2011.06.26 07:02:00 -
[16]
BUT WHO WAS PHONE? -
I troll stupid people. |
Shadow XII
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Posted - 2011.06.26 07:10:00 -
[17]
I would rather buy your book than a monocle.
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Dakin Chang
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Posted - 2011.06.26 07:23:00 -
[18]
NO YOU WILL BE FIRE FOR MICROTRANSACTION
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.06.26 07:28:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Shadow XII I would rather buy your book than a monocle.
Would you like me to do a spoof of Full Life Consequences or Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction next? ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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Anon Forumalt6858
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Posted - 2011.06.26 07:33:00 -
[20]
I do love a good fanfic.
- His name was John Turbefield!
CCP: We are adults who wage economic, social, and tactical warfare on each other for fun. Don't **** with us. |
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Eno Lacigol
Amarr QQ Continuum
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Posted - 2011.06.28 05:03:00 -
[21]
This thread delivers.
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Irie Irie Irie
Caldari Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2011.06.28 05:23:00 -
[22]
Finally! A new chronicle.
~~~
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Toovhon
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Posted - 2011.06.28 05:24:00 -
[23]
LOL - nice. -- Frog blast the vent core! |
52 MonocIes
52 Monocles
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Posted - 2011.06.28 05:36:00 -
[24]
Originally by: kestrael nanahara This thread best thread
nuff said -- I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Threadnaughts on fire off the shoulder of Orion... |
Mister Smithington
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Posted - 2011.06.28 05:41:00 -
[25]
OP posted this in the Threadnarok earlier. I copypasta'd and saved it for future generations. It is, in fact, made of solid victory.
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Allyria Kylari
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Posted - 2011.06.28 05:51:00 -
[26]
Edited by: Allyria Kylari on 28/06/2011 05:51:50 HIS NAME WAS JOHN TURBEFIELD
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.06.28 06:14:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Irie Irie Irie Finally! A new chronicle.
Lol'd pretty hard sir. You obtained absolute victory. ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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Najian
Noctiscion
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Posted - 2011.06.28 06:39:00 -
[28]
Legendary on many levels.
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Mixed Metaphor
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Posted - 2011.06.30 12:55:00 -
[29]
THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW. ----- Andreus Ixiris CEO, Mixed Metaphor
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Rodj Blake
Amarr PIE Inc.
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Posted - 2011.06.30 13:17:00 -
[30]
MOAR TURBEFIELD FANFIC PLS.
KTHNXBAI
Dulce et decorum est pro imperium mori.
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