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coolhandnoob
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Posted - 2011.06.30 14:40:00 -
[1]
To Our One-Eyed Overlords.
This pathetic creature begs leave to address your august monocled presences.
I'm sure your household staff's include the usual serfs; maids, butlers, cooks, whipping boys and midget prostitutes. Each peasant plays a specific role in order to support you in the lifestyles in which you've become comfortable.
May it please your highnesses, I offer myself as a solution to an inconvenience that perhaps has not been brought to light; I am a monocle detailer.
These jeweled tubes of ocular envy are delicate and require frequent maintenance. I use only the finest quality q-tips and cleaning solutions. I clean and tune each monocle thoroughly by hand and finish by buffing them using a fine chamois. No one in the Universe offers the same level of quality monocle care!
I am currently offering monocle extended service plans. For a modest retainer, my lords and ladies can assure that their eye-pieces will remain the glossy engorged pixellated envy of the unwashed masses.
All that's required to begin is a token deposit. Please transfer one hundred million ISK to my account to cover cleaning supplies and my people will contact your seneschal to arrange a consultation.
Thank you for your patience.
noob
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Akiro Tukana
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Posted - 2011.06.30 14:45:00 -
[2]
Don't forget to apply the nano-explosives...
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killmc
Gallente
Navajo commandos
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Posted - 2011.06.30 14:48:00 -
[3]
 Originally by: Akiro Tukana
Don't forget to apply the nano-explosives...
rofl that be funny if one could do that
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Doc Fury
Caldari
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Posted - 2011.06.30 14:54:00 -
[4]
Remember kids, it also doubles as an anal bum cover.
That's what yer Mother said last night Trebek.
We're not upset that you lied to us CCP, we're upset that from now on we can't believe you.
/I am not a Golden Goose
/I am not a Cash Cow
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Ingvar Angst
Amarr
Nasty Pope Holding Corp
Talocan United
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Posted - 2011.06.30 15:10:00 -
[5]
Monocle boy: Do not try and wear the monocle. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Monocle boy: There is no monocle.
Neo: There is no monocle?
Monocle boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the monocle you wear, it is only yourself.
FREE Helicity and Niang! |
coolhandnoob
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Posted - 2011.06.30 15:14:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Ingvar Angst
Monocle boy: Do not try and wear the monocle. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Monocle boy: There is no monocle.
Neo: There is no monocle?
Monocle boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the monocle you wear, it is only yourself.
Sir;
While we are quite happy to service invisible monocles, there will be an additional surcharge.
Thank you for your interest.
noob
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