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Kietay Ayari
Caldari State
456
   |
Posted - 2012.10.21 07:53:00 -
[1] - Quote
Okay, I have a friend who was dating a girl for 7 months, lately she had been asking him to go to a club with her and her friend but he always refuses and tells her he doesnGÇÖt want her to go either. Eventually they had an argument about it and she said she would do whatever she wanted. He said that if she went he would break up with her.
She decided she would not go, but the next Saturday he didnGÇÖt hear from her all day. Finally on Sunday at 4 in the morning she calls him crying, telling him she was raped and beat up. Apparently she had gone to the club without telling him that day and a boy asked her to go to a party, she left with him and he and his friends took her somewhere and did those things to her.
He seemed to be unhappy this happened to her but also told her he doesn't ever want to speak to her again. She has called him telling him she really needs him now and that she is sorry but he wants nothing to do with it. Several of her friends are sending him hate mail now.
IGÇÖm not sure what to think about this situation or whoGÇÖs side to be on.
Ferox #1 |
Borascus
Red Core
Paradigm Shift Alliance
77
|
Posted - 2012.10.21 09:16:00 -
[2] - Quote
I'd say him getting hate mail is pretty normal.
As for the other stuff would you split up with someone for having a social life? and not talk to them after they say they were raped? its not cool bro, hes missing out on loads of good samaritan sex with her friends. |
Rana Ash
Gradient
Electus Matari
69
|
Posted - 2012.10.21 16:35:00 -
[3] - Quote
Do not choose a side, you'll only be sorry for it.. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
2977
|
Posted - 2012.10.21 16:38:00 -
[4] - Quote
Not trying to be an internet white knight or anything, but a real man would've been there to defend his woman...
just saying... 
So think I can get her number then?
"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff-á |
Destination SkillQueue
Are We There Yet
2830
|
Posted - 2012.10.21 17:05:00 -
[5] - Quote
Why should you choose a side? If someone asks you what you think, say you don't know what to think or don't understand why they're acting like they are. If they talk to you about it for whatever reason, let them talk and listen. If you find their actions questionable, ask them why did they choose to do it and try to understand their reason. You don't have to agree with their choices, but try to see why they acted that way.
Bottom line is, that It's their life and their relationship, so let them do what they want with it. Besides it seems like they were about to break up anyway. That doesn't change just because the event that put the final nail to it happened to be horrific. Or do you think he should be with someone he was breaking up with, as in someone who he didn't want to be with, just because **** happned to her? He certainly isn't a good guy supportive of her in her time of need, but that isn't exactly a bad thing when the guy clearly has no intention of continuing a relationship with her.
Just let them sort it out themslves. |
Micheal Dietrich
Kings Gambit Black
721
|
Posted - 2012.10.21 22:08:00 -
[6] - Quote
Lovers quarrel between friends, to the video games forums! The problem ain't yours, stay out of it.
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Webvan
State War Academy
Caldari State
100
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Posted - 2012.10.21 23:16:00 -
[7] - Quote
Find new friends? |
Rajan Marelona
Hedion University
Amarr Empire
21
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Posted - 2012.10.21 23:27:00 -
[8] - Quote
So this girl gets warned about the club, gets warned he will break up is she goes, she goes alone anyway, and hooks up with a random person there, and ends up getting raped for that ?
Ditch her was the right choice, I am afraid I have to say, even if everybody here gets mad about this oppinion.
If she would not been raped, she would been dumped anyway.
Why should her **** be mitigating circumstance ? It's an aggravating circumstance ! She can not comprehend how grave the situation, she way too careless in lifestyle choice.
Bad luck to be get raped and dumped because of stupid thing you done, but life is not fair.
But refusing to talk to her, THAT is harsh, at least at first sighte.
I think there is nothing good he can say to her that is not to be a LIE.
Instead of saying many platitude and pleasantry, clean break is the best option.
Of course, everything could be much more complicated compared to what you tell us, or his warning to her about the club have been for a different reason, then situation change.
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Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
2980
|
Posted - 2012.10.22 00:52:00 -
[9] - Quote
Micheal Dietrich wrote:Lovers quarrel between friends, to the video games forums! The problem ain't yours, stay out of it.
We should have a lovers quarrel between friends 
"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff-á |
Webvan
State War Academy
Caldari State
100
|
Posted - 2012.10.22 00:59:00 -
[10] - Quote
Or wait until they grow up?
He had a gf that likes to party, go to clubs. He didn't want to go to clubs. They were a mismatch, but maybe young hormones got the better of him/them. Been there done that. Not that a couple needs to like everything the other does, hobbies or whatnot, things that one is happy doing alone, but going to clubs and parties in not a hobby but a life-style. And at that, it can be a very destructive life-style especially if perused alone.
You can't change them, and it was doomed before it even started. She gambled and lost, and now she'll have life-long issues over it. Whether or not he was her bf, it may have still happened eventually, as has happened to girls I've known. Sounds like he would have dumped her anyway, if he had a spine, but even now it doesn't seem like being a **** victim is something that takes precedence over who she is or what she would rather pursue which doesn't seem to include him really; it's not something to build a relationship on in place of the other.
As for you, to takes sides is to loose one of them as a friend, yes, but also in the long-run even both. |
Theron Urian
The Moirae Syndicate
14
|
Posted - 2012.10.22 01:04:00 -
[11] - Quote
Be smart and stay out of other peoples drama.
As for my opinion I would have broke it off with the chick after she continued to press the issue, odds are if a woman continually pesters you about some thing she is going to do it whether you like it or not.
While any case of **** is a horrible thing, it sounds like this girl needs to start making some better choices, because going some place with strangers from a club can rarely lead to any good. |
Harraria
3
|
Posted - 2012.10.22 01:18:00 -
[12] - Quote
At what point can you expect the person to not want to have anything to do with you, if this isn't it? I just don't see how he's obligated at all. |
Micheal Dietrich
Kings Gambit Black
721
|
Posted - 2012.10.22 07:00:00 -
[13] - Quote
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:Micheal Dietrich wrote:Lovers quarrel between friends, to the video games forums! The problem ain't yours, stay out of it.
We should have a lovers quarrel between friends
Quick Robin, to the Quarrelmobile! |
Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
586
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Posted - 2012.10.22 18:54:00 -
[14] - Quote
This is one of those situations with no winners, only losers. |
Jim Era
5689
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Posted - 2012.10.22 18:58:00 -
[15] - Quote
lol what a dumb girl.
she deserved it. |
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ISD TYPE40
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
2210
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Posted - 2012.10.22 19:15:00 -
[16] - Quote
I'm locking this thread as it is rather an inappropriate subject for discussion here and appears to be attracting the wrong kind of attention. I would suggest that such matters be discussed privately and not with strangers on a games forum - ISD Type40.
ISD Type40
Lt. Commander
Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)
Interstellar Services Department |
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