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Evei Shard
169
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 14:24:00 -
[1] - Quote
I've been around a while, but I'm putting this request here because I'm hoping the non-troll answers will help others, not just my wife.
I convinced my wife to join Eve not too long after Incarna, and while she played for quite a while, she eventually left because, in her own words, "it became a second job".
I'd like for her to come back, but I need to be able to show her how you can enjoy Eve without all the spreadsheets and complications that go with fine-tuning fittings and industry.
We're not looking for profit so much as having fun that provides some isk to fund itself.
Can anyone with experience on both sides (fun vs. job) give some examples of how to keep Eve fun without getting loaded down? Profit favors the prepared |

Dyphorus
VC Academy
10
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 14:31:00 -
[2] - Quote
Try going nomadic. Get setup to roam high/low sec for exploration or PvP. If you keep from settling in one spot, it will help you stay out of any routine that might start to feel like a job. |

Daniel Plain
Science and Trade Institute Caldari State
986
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 14:53:00 -
[3] - Quote
it always comes down to the individual person. believe it or not, the things that feel like a job to you or your significant other can be a relaxing pastime to someone else. You should try to understand what (if anything) motivates her to play games in the first place and then see if there is a similar occupation in EVE. chances are there is one.
"I don't troll, I just give overly blunt responses that annoy people who are wrong but don't want to admit it. It's not my fault that people have sensitive feelings" -MXZF |

Praxis Ginimic
304
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 14:54:00 -
[4] - Quote
Trade plex then pvp. I know, I know but its the only thing I can do to not feel like I'm grinding |

Merouk Baas
633
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 15:05:00 -
[5] - Quote
My advice:
Trade PLEX for ISK for her, so that you don't have to do the ISK grind.
You may like the industry game, but perhaps she does not. It's full of spreadsheets, planning, and quite grindy if you're doing it for profit. So, put it on pause for a while and try different things, so that she can find what she likes.
Be aware that it may turn out she likes PVP, which can be fast paced, require no planning, and doable in small play sessions. PVE Exploration sites can also be like that. Missions, if you don't do them for grind, may be fun for a short while. Stuff gets boring, though; PVP is the only thing that may be fun for a long time, and even then it's only if you're with a decent group of people. Join a corp, join a 0.0 alliance, etc.
If she hates industry and likes something else, are you willing to either let her do her thing independently of you, make friends, all that, or give up industry and follow her playstyle? |

Jane Schereau
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
22
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 16:18:00 -
[6] - Quote
I too echo the sentiments that it depends on what she likes to do.
Personally, I started as a miner, and it did feel like a second job (undock, shoot lasers, dock... rinse and repeat). Then I stopped caring about a constant source of ISK and started doing things for the fun of it. My decision upon log in is always "how do I want to have fun today?" as opposed to "how much ISK do I want to make today?" |

Ovv Topik
Tribal Liberation Force Minmatar Republic
401
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 16:25:00 -
[7] - Quote
Most importantly, what DID she enjoy about EvE?
PvP? Exploration? not trading and industry I take it?
Summarize what she liked best, and I'd love to chime in with ideas! "Jita 4 4 spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious ..." |

NightCrawler 85
Phoibe Enterprises Project Wildfire
488
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 16:38:00 -
[8] - Quote
If you dont want EVE to become like a second job, avoid any leadership positions. If there is anything that can kill your joy in the game its this. Sounds glamorous and so on, but believe me, there is a reason that so many directors/CEO's you meet will say "dont become one!" 
Second, try to not obsess about ISK. Buy plex's, do some mindless ratting or missions once in a while, throw away the spreadsheets or just dont think about how you can make optimal profit. As soon as you start thinking about the optimal profit it will turn into a grind, which feels more like a duty, or your job, then a game you can actually enjoy.
Do not force your self to be online! You want some time to play another game? Go ahead and do it! Dont feel guilty because you "have to" be online and go forward as a good example (ok this is mainly director/CEO stuff again). But in simple words... If you are online its because YOU want to, not because you feel you have to. Phoibe Enterprises official recruitment thread The Eve Reader - -áAudio Recordings of Eve Chronicles
|

Josefine Etrange
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
16
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 17:03:00 -
[9] - Quote
Evei Shard wrote:I've been around a while, but I'm putting this request here because I'm hoping the non-troll answers will help others, not just my wife.
I convinced my wife to join Eve not too long after Incarna, and while she played for quite a while, she eventually left because, in her own words, "it became a second job".
I'd like for her to come back, but I need to be able to show her how you can enjoy Eve without all the spreadsheets and complications that go with fine-tuning fittings and industry.
We're not looking for profit so much as having fun that provides some isk to fund itself.
Can anyone with experience on both sides (fun vs. job) give some examples of how to keep Eve fun without getting loaded down?
One way for people that got locked in the isk treathmill:
Ignore ISK mostly. Don-¦t pay via plex. Fly cheap.
Do whatever entertains you. If you keep losing more than you get, just buy one plex per month, 500 million isk should be more than enough pocketmoney to play around. |

Rhivre
TarNec
117
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 17:33:00 -
[10] - Quote
What sort of thing did she like doing in Eve?
Most things, from trade and industry through to pvp can be done extremely casually, or as full on as you want them :)
If you give us an idea of what activities interest you both, then we can give some pointers :) |

Minmatar Citizen160812
The LGBT Last Supper
159
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 17:59:00 -
[11] - Quote
I don't know what she was doing that became a job so I'll give my stock answer for wives and video games:
Buy her the Sims. Once she sees that you can make your own shoe patterns the virtual dollhouse will leave you plenty of EvE time with no evil eyes. |

Rhivre
TarNec
117
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 18:20:00 -
[12] - Quote
Minmatar Citizen160812 wrote:I don't know what she was doing that became a job so I'll give my stock answer for wives and video games:
Buy her the Sims. Once she sees that you can make your own shoe patterns the virtual dollhouse will leave you plenty of EvE time with no evil eyes.
Should be noted that this also works for males. Especially once they figure that you can have semi naked characters popping over to each others houses. |

Untanas Volmyr
Running with Knives Nexus Fleet
9
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 18:27:00 -
[13] - Quote
I've got an hour or so every few days to play while working two jobs. If I don't have time to play I don't. When I can. I mostly keep to myself anyways. I don't have time to really compete. I only have time to play casually. So try the casual method. My girlfriend wants me to spend time reading the books she does. Just last night I told her I was finishing the fifth volume on astrometrics lol |

Minmatar Citizen160812
The LGBT Last Supper
159
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 18:27:00 -
[14] - Quote
Rhivre wrote:Minmatar Citizen160812 wrote:I don't know what she was doing that became a job so I'll give my stock answer for wives and video games:
Buy her the Sims. Once she sees that you can make your own shoe patterns the virtual dollhouse will leave you plenty of EvE time with no evil eyes. Should be noted that this also works for males. Especially once they figure that you can have semi naked characters popping over to each others houses.
Confirming this is true as well as the added fun of hearing your wife say, "Who the hell is this half naked chick named Hoopy Crackhead?!?!? She just took a leak in my living room and won't leave." |

J'Poll
Aegis Consolidated
2131
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 18:47:00 -
[15] - Quote
Well my obvious and not very helpful reply:
If EVE becomes a 2nd job. It's because you choose to treat it like that. EVE is what you make of it. If you don't like to spent 8h a day managing spreadsheets etc. Then just don't do it and go do something in EVE that doesn't require that.
And this is coming from someone who can say "I was there" on the topic.
In the past I was a director of a corp (as one of the 2 EU directors - I was the crumpy one the other always had to fix corp after I did a rage against the corp) as well as part of the officers of the alliance (responsible for recruitment in EU timezone).
So, I was the guy who was the contact for the alliance (as the alliance leader was EU and our CEO was US). I had to manage the corp and keep everybody happy and still active. On top of that there was the alliance jobs I had to do.
So 99.9% of my game time went up in doing leadership related things. And although I like that, I slowly burned me out. Now a days, I really like to help leadership if they need to but all on a voluntary base. So I help out if I think I have fun helping out.
So to your wife. Find something that you really like to do in EVE, something that makes you want to log in and play EVE. Don't do something just to maximize ISK/hour, SP/hour, etc. etc.
The only important thing you should max out is Fun/hour...that's the only real important part of EVE. When a WoW player leaves to return to WoW, the avg. IQ of both games rises. Request to CCP: Please patch stupidity out of the game for Winter 2013. Professional Forum Thread locker. |

Galaxy Pig
New Order Logistics CODE.
749
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 19:22:00 -
[16] - Quote
In my opinion, if you're playing to pay your subscription, you're not really playing at all. Don't play yourself into corner, do what you wanna do, it's a video game. I've been fortunate enough to find a decently profitable profession (killing miners) which is also my preferred past-time, but not everyone (especially not highsec dwellers) can achieve this unity of recreation and profit, and you shouldn't be too bummed out if it eludes you. My advice? Buy her PLEX.
www.minerbumping.com |

Mynutor
Myn Mining
19
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Posted - 2013.05.07 19:54:00 -
[17] - Quote
I am a miner and I like to be one. I tried FW, exploration and small PvP and didn't like them at all.
I am trying to get into hauling/manufacturing maybe research and PI...
-
I like the things most other people think is boring. And I dislike the things other like.
-
There is a chance that this game is just not for her. |

Davith en Divalone
Plate of Beans Incorporated
99
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 20:30:00 -
[18] - Quote
https://evetravel.wordpress.com
Through low/null, in shuttles or disposable frigates. |

Radius Prime
Tax Evading Ass.
36
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 20:43:00 -
[19] - Quote
Don't try and force your hobbies upon your wife. That's a divorce waiting to happen... Giving your partner room to be herself is needed to keep a relationship healthy.
"It becomes a second job" is wife code for: "I am not really into it, let me enjoy the things I like.." She loves you and doesn't want to badmouth/hurt your feelings about your hobby.. She does want to spend time with you but maybe EVE is not the way. Make sure you log off in time for some quality time. Not doing that is a mistake many make in this game.
Take my advice or get ready for a surprise in the future. Your wife is not "that special woman" who is completely different from all the others. They will take a lot before the bomb but that doesn't mean it wont happen. They love you and will keep saying "I want you to enjoy your hobbies" while actually you're sitting on a ticking time bomb. Reset the timer from time to time m8.
Best guy to guy advice you'll ever get and no, this is not a troll!
Like you, I hope everyone reads this. Reopen the EVE gate so we can invade Serenity. Goons can go first. |

ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors Late Night Alliance
2400
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 21:29:00 -
[20] - Quote
Crash course in making EVE not a second job:
1. Find an activity you enjoy that doesn't require large amounts of time invested. 2. Find people or groups that also enjoy this style of play. 3. If you don't feel like playing EVE for awhile, toss on a long skill and come back after a few days. 4. There are plenty of ways to earn ISK in EVE... however if you are not willing (or able) to spend time earning it then you must compensate by being smarter/more clever or have "disposable" real life money to buy PLEX. 5. Remind yourself that EVE is, at the end of the day, just a game and anyone who you meet in game do not own you and cannot force you do anything. 6. Since EVE is just a game... be equal portions blas+¬ and immersed. Do not care what happens as long as you do something you enjoy and rise to whatever challenge that presents itself... as long as you are mood. Change isn't bad, but it isn't always good. Sometimes, the oldest and most simple of things can be the most elegant and effective. |

Dayma Faust
Pax Auxilium
0
|
Posted - 2013.05.07 22:07:00 -
[21] - Quote
I am a newbie here as you may have seen from my past posts. This is a really good thread though for new people as it really give s people an idea on how to ease into the game imo. Thanks! |

Inxentas Ultramar
Ultramar Independent Contracting Home Front Coalition
441
|
Posted - 2013.05.08 09:34:00 -
[22] - Quote
Avoid repetition. Whenever I log in I ask myself what did I do last time in EVE? Then I make sure to go do something completely different. I alternate between lets cause some butthurt and lets make some iskies. Also I subbed ahead for a year to make sure I would not be tempted to buy PLEX with ISK, so I can spend all my money on ingame items and I don't need to grind to play. |

J'Poll
Aegis Consolidated
2133
|
Posted - 2013.05.08 09:38:00 -
[23] - Quote
Inxentas Ultramar wrote:Avoid repetition. Whenever I log in I ask myself what did I do last time in EVE? Then I make sure to go do something completely different. I alternate between lets cause some butthurt and lets make some iskies. Also I subbed ahead for a year to make sure I would not be tempted to buy PLEX with ISK, so I can spend all my money on ingame items and I don't need to grind to play.
This.
Although I dont always alternate when I log I ask myself "Why do I log in, what do I want to do today?" Then just do that. When a WoW player leaves to return to WoW, the avg. IQ of both games rises. Request to CCP: Please patch stupidity out of the game for Winter 2013. Professional Forum Thread locker. |

Fractal Muse
Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic
274
|
Posted - 2013.05.08 14:54:00 -
[24] - Quote
Radius Prime wrote: "It becomes a second job" is wife code for: "I am not really into it, let me enjoy the things I like.." She loves you and doesn't want to badmouth/hurt your feelings about your hobby.. She does want to spend time with you but maybe EVE is not the way. Make sure you log off in time for some quality time. Not doing that is a mistake many make in this game.
I second this.
You need to ask yourself why do you want your wife to come back to EVE?
She tried it out. She played for a long time and she didn't enjoy it.
If she's interested in playing again she'll ask -you- about it but until then do not try to "get her interested" in playing again. If you try you are asking for trouble in your relationship. Remember, Internet Spaceships are nowhere near as important as your real life partner.
As to how to not treat EVE like a second job: only do things that you enjoy in the game. If at -any- time you find yourself doing something because you "have" to then you're doing it wrong. That is the moment to step back and reevaluate why you are playing and how you are playing.
There is no reason, at all, to do things that you do not enjoy in EVE. There is so much in the EVE universe that you can do why limit yourself into something that you do not enjoy? If it turns out that there is nothing in EVE that you enjoy then stop playing EVE.
|

Alaric Faelen
Sabotage Incorporated Executive Outcomes
118
|
Posted - 2013.05.08 21:12:00 -
[25] - Quote
all MMO's are incredible time-sinks. That's just how they work. Anytime you deal with possibly dozens or even hundreds of people just in a single fleet for example- you're just chewing time.
I simply don't do all the industrial, spreadsheet garbage. I run a bit of local PI to keep change in my pocket, but I play Eve to PvP, not gather resources or mine.
Basically- if you wouldn't want to do it in real life, why would you do it in a game? I never wanted to be a miner in real life, sounds horrible, so nowhere does it appeal to me in a game. I never wanted to work in a factory, or be an accountant.
Being a hot shot space ship pilot swirling through a maze of flashing laser fire??? Now THAT sounds like something I would want to do given the chance. Eve lets me be that guy for a bit, so that's what I do. Then I log off and have a life in the real world. PvP certainly has it's grind of staring at a titan for an hour waiting for some poor fool to take a bait ship. But at least there is a light at the end of that tunnel for something fun to happen. I'd rather wake up covered in pod goo every time I logged in than mine. Which is lucky for me since I'm terrible at Eve Online and often DO. Cheers. |
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