| Pages: 1 2 :: [one page] |
|
|
| Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Cameron Freerunner
Long Jump.
56
   |
Posted - 2013.10.11 15:48:00 -
[1] - Quote
It's number 2 on the list. Funny stuff.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-groundbreaking-ways-video-games-are-screwing-players_p2
Several of EVE's previous appearances on a Cracked List are also linked in the article. If only EVE-O posters were as funny.
|
Sexy Cakes
Have A Seat
415
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 15:53:00 -
[2] - Quote
Quote:Something awesome is happening, but most of your life has been boring drudgery and now you're going to be killed by characters who've been here longer.
lol
On a more related note: gates are for plebs.
Not today spaghetti. |
Toshiroma McDiesel
Lupus Draconis
Dragehund
176
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 15:57:00 -
[3] - Quote
Even funnier that we made the list for autopilot for not warping to zero on gates, they see it as a d**k move. 
I"m not really the Evil One, I'm just his answering service. |
Rhatar Khurin
United Earth Directorate
176
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 15:58:00 -
[4] - Quote
Oh all the things to moan about they chose autopiloting... I dunno, just seems a little weak. |
KnowUsByTheDead
Volition.
297
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 16:04:00 -
[5] - Quote
Autopiloting may have been a weak choice, but it was well-written. Case in point...
Quote:You might as well set your ship to transmit "FREE KILL HERE!" and replace the autopilot with a starmoth attracted by enemy laser fire.
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the comedian is the only thing that makes sense. |
Benny Ohu
Chaotic Tranquility
Casoff
1609
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 16:06:00 -
[6] - Quote
Coming soon: 8 Ways EVE Online Has 'Made It' Onto Cracked |
Rhatar Khurin
United Earth Directorate
177
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 16:12:00 -
[7] - Quote
One thing i did get from that site though was this useful infomation - http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/photoshop/3/4/5/209345_slide.jpg?v=1 |
Solstice Project
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym
4033
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 16:37:00 -
[8] - Quote
We are ******* awesome! |
Conrad Makbure
Division One Security
65
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 16:48:00 -
[9] - Quote
"Making the multimillion-dollar EVE Online game functionally identical to a Windows 3.1 screensaver."
Ahahaha
"Bots and scripts are normally evil, but when the game is specifically designed to trap you in a prison of minimalist data entry where you press three keys a minute, that's not cheating, that's psychological self-defense. Altering the autopilot code was less a hack than a basic intelligence test."
Here's a hint: make this part of the game more interesting. Or just automate it outright. |
Rayo Atra
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
2
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 16:58:00 -
[10] - Quote
what a ******** article. Lets write an informative piece on the space shuttle by ranting about the color of one of the radio antennas for the entire article.
waste of bandwidth.
Blink is my isk faucet. |
|
|
Bagrat Skalski
Poseidaon
378
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:01:00 -
[11] - Quote
Autopilot warping to zero, what a luxury it is....
Protect yourself from CONCORD today! Tinfoil hats, quality product. Styled after pirate hats. |
Tuggboat
Oneida Inc.
34
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:03:00 -
[12] - Quote
At least we don't have to pay to increase bustsize, unless of course it a later life augmentation. Hmm. I wonder???? Do these make my head look small? |
Rayo Atra
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
3
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:07:00 -
[13] - Quote
finally a place to spend my AUR. Tell me how much of a bulge increase can i expect for 5000?
Blink is my isk faucet. |
Cameron Freerunner
Long Jump.
56
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:18:00 -
[14] - Quote
Rayo Atra wrote:what a ******** article. Lets write an informative piece on the space shuttle by ranting about the color of one of the radio antennas for the entire article.
waste of bandwidth.
If you'd read the other articles linked from that one, you'd see they cover more than one base. But then, it's a comedy site, not a ******* news site. Perspective and a sense of humor, get some. |
Rayo Atra
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
3
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:24:00 -
[15] - Quote
Well i only read the linked one. And it seemed a typical weakling boo hoo fest. More annoying than funny. I think ill steer clear of the rest. Glad you're entertained by it though.
Blink is my isk faucet. |
Lord Ryan
True Xero
True Zombies
858
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:32:00 -
[16] - Quote
Ha!
Do not assume-áanything above this line-áwas typed by me.
Nerf the Truth, it's inconvenient.
|
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
Self Sabatoge
1421
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:34:00 -
[17] - Quote
The only reason this article was written was for the author to be able to get his employer to pay the cost for an online sex game. The hardest part was walking into the editor's office with a straight face.
See Bio for isk doubling rules. -áIf you didn't read bio, chances are you helped fund those who did. |
Fix Lag
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
564
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:48:00 -
[18] - Quote
Yeah I don't get this "commuting" angle they're going for. Nor is rewarding a player who's actually at the keyboard with faster travel times a dick move.
What a shitty Cracked article. Although I suppose you could say that very same phrase about most Cracked articles. |
YesYes NoNoNo
Karmic Rebalance
11
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 17:49:00 -
[19] - Quote
I completely expected something about the blinkscorps.
Instead found an article on the way gate travel used to work. |
Rich Uncle PennyBags
EVE Online Monopoly
48
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:07:00 -
[20] - Quote
One of the weakest point's I've ever seen.
The point of the 15km is that you shouldn't be able to walk away from your computer an be totally safe.
It punishes stupidity.
Good thing in my opinion. |
|
|
Lykouleon
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
1099
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:15:00 -
[21] - Quote
People read cracked still?
Lykouleon > CYNO ME CLOSER so I can hit them with my sword |
Irsam Samri
The Arbitrators
12
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:17:00 -
[22] - Quote
As a middle aged player. I think clones, and dscan, and possible autopilot should be revamped to make them more automtic. The only people you punish are the new players. Hitting dscan every 10 seconds now is automatic, but could you actually imagine how liberating it would be to have an upgraded system that did it auto every 15 seconds and gave a beep if certain ships appeared on it?
Also I'm really sick of half my training being catch up for forgetting to buy clone and getting podded. Again the only people this mechanism really effects are noobs and people with ADD |
Abdiel Kavash
Paladin Order
Fidelas Constans
1282
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:17:00 -
[23] - Quote
Why don't they mention how you can walk from Stormwind to Ogrimar in WoW while completely AFK?
Oh wait you can't. |
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
3510
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:22:00 -
[24] - Quote
While they focused on the 15KM autopilot mechanic, they did have a point about "commuting".
Imagine how much better things would be if all ships could dial in a system to system warp like we see done in the usual sci-fi genres?
I know I know, we have that class of people playing whose whole life is sitting on a gate and killing everything that moves for no reason. So let's drive people away from the game with crap gate mechanics just for those players, who, lacking targets because people are driven away, can continue to complain about not having much to kill (for no reason).
Yeah. That works.
|
Cameron Freerunner
Long Jump.
56
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:22:00 -
[25] - Quote
Rayo Atra wrote:Well i only read the linked one. And it seemed a typical weakling boo hoo fest. More annoying than funny. I think ill steer clear of the rest. Glad you're entertained by it though.
At least you're willing to admit to laziness and ignorance. Had you bothered to click the other links, I think you'd find something you really like (esp the one on Mittens, which is laugh out loud funny). But like so many other EVE players, you know more than the rest of us.
YesYes NoNoNo wrote:Instead found an article on the way gate travel used to work.
Are you suggesting that autopilot doesn't put you at 15km from the gate? Or is it that you skimmed the article and didn't read closely enough to pick up on the autopilot as the focus? Pretty sure autopilot still works like that.
Lykouleon wrote:People read cracked still?
Is there some reason they shouldn't? U jelly?
Irsam Samri wrote:As a middle aged player. I think clones, and dscan, and possible autopilot should be revamped to make them more automtic. The only people you punish are the new players. Hitting dscan every 10 seconds now is automatic, but could you actually imagine how liberating it would be to have an upgraded system that did it auto every 15 seconds and gave a beep if certain ships appeared on it?
Also I'm really sick of half my training being catch up for forgetting to buy clone and getting podded. Again the only people this mechanism really effects are noobs and people with ADD
You just knew the ranters would show up to post totally irrelevant diatribes.
The next article they do should be: Players Who Take Their Game Waaaay Too Seriously
The best part is most of you use jump clones, jump drives, and jump bridges. If you love the travel so much, commit to only jumping gates. |
John Tomplin
EVE University
Ivy League
7
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:22:00 -
[26] - Quote
I am upset EVE insists you wear pants. Why do we have to put on pants? John Tomplin looked fine in briefs and a dress shirt. |
Irsam Samri
The Arbitrators
12
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:27:00 -
[27] - Quote
Cameron why are you so angry? |
Rayo Atra
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
5
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 18:48:00 -
[28] - Quote
Seriously.
Since dropping the old main and having this old alt now be my only toon, I have traveled all over space, using only gates. Un-scouted. Its part of the fun. It takes no time at all for me to map out 10-15 systems to play in. Really who is traversing the entire map on a daily basis. I love how the article didn't mention, but luckily you did ...all the available options to cover space in an incredibly efficient manner, while still preserving its scope.
I suppose my main gripe from the get-go was this seems to be a featured article on the front page of this site. 10 ways games are screwing you!!!! Followed by a list of complaints. I didn't see any humor, it wasn't written in a funny way. It was simply, this is why this game is a rip off, because you spent so much time traveling that you can accomplish nothing. Which is complete nonsense. Nonsense hopefully not absorbed by anyone who might be interested in the game in the future.
Also when did i say I knew more than everyone?
Though i suppose in a way i was saying i know more than you. :]
/ relevant diatribe
Blink is my isk faucet. |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
6228
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 20:38:00 -
[29] - Quote
Whats an autopilot?
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
Self Sabatoge
1450
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 20:41:00 -
[30] - Quote
John Tomplin wrote:I am upset EVE insists you wear pants. Why do we have to put on pants? John Tomplin looked fine in briefs and a dress shirt.
I am just sitting here naked at my computer touching myself. Where in the TOS does it say we must meet the terms of wearing pants or receive no service?
See Bio for isk doubling rules. -áIf you didn't read bio, chances are you helped fund those who did. |
|
|
Miilla
Hulkageddon Orphanage
732
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 20:42:00 -
[31] - Quote
I should be top of the ******* list :) |
Rhatar Khurin
United Earth Directorate
193
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 20:46:00 -
[32] - Quote
Nothing quite as bracing as riding around in a shuttle autopiloting with a plex, really gets the blood pumping. |
Merovee
Gorthaur Legion
Of Mordor
123
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 21:10:00 -
[33] - Quote
It would be nice if the AB/MWD would turn on in Auto-pilot.
Better yet have warp bubbles on all gates and stations! <---- CCP Puleeeese |
TigerXtrm
Black Thorne Corporation
The Cursed Few
100
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 22:56:00 -
[34] - Quote
Traveling takes hours now? If you go from one end of the universe to the other... maybe... MAYBE 45 minutes on auto pilot. But manual in a fast ship? What a joke.
Though it would be interesting to have some statistics in the game.
Time spent in warp: 50%
Time spent in station: 40%
Number of total ship spins: Over 9000 a day.
Time actually spent doing something productive in space: 10%
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoavH8xbrPE |
Vito Tattaglia
Shinigami Miners
Synthetic Systems
155
|
Posted - 2013.10.11 23:23:00 -
[35] - Quote
I can't believe they actually complain about not having a fully functional autopilot.
You're playing a game aren't you? Then play it, instead of having some lines of code do it for you.
I wonder if all Cracked writers are this lazy. |
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
Self Sabatoge
1460
|
Posted - 2013.10.12 01:44:00 -
[36] - Quote
This is why Eve needs a fuel and food requirement. Imagine freighter pilots running out of fuel halfway somewhere and needing to request a player run refueling service, hoping not to get ganked while he waits for internet spaceship AAA. If he forgets to pack enough quafe and food, he would die of starvation sitting out in the middle of deep null space afk cloaking.
See Bio for isk doubling rules. -áIf you didn't read bio, chances are you helped fund those who did. |
Benny Ohu
Chaotic Tranquility
Casoff
1613
|
Posted - 2013.10.12 03:35:00 -
[37] - Quote
Lykouleon wrote:People read cracked still?
Seanbaby writes for the site still. :P
Quote:So the fastest way to get from place to place is to run the autopilot, turn it off when you're warping, manually arrive at the next gate, then manually turn the autopilot back on to launch the next jump.
I don't think the author ever learned to play |
Inxentas Ultramar
Ultramar Independent Contracting
Home Front Coalition
726
|
Posted - 2013.10.13 00:17:00 -
[38] - Quote
Courier contracting solved 90% of the issue in that article for me. It's not something you can't solve with ISK and going rates aren't exactly terrible or anything. Whoever wrote that article must have had a really bad mission agent on his free trial  |
Cynter DeVries
Spheroidal Projections
630
|
Posted - 2013.10.13 05:26:00 -
[39] - Quote
Rich Uncle PennyBags wrote:One of the weakest point's I've ever seen.
The point of the 15km is that you shouldn't be able to walk away from your computer an be totally safe.
It punishes stupidity.
Good thing in my opinion.
The way the auto-pilot works is one of the most immersion breaking things in the game, right up there with bouncy collisions. Looking forward to the Rubicon interceptors. |
Naes Mlahrend
KINGS OF EDEN
Sev3rance
142
|
Posted - 2013.10.13 06:04:00 -
[40] - Quote
love cracked.com |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 :: [one page] |