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Donna Darko
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Posted - 2006.04.19 17:20:00 -
[1]
In all my life of hearing computer support jokes and what not, I have never heard of something as weird as this.
A customer of ours contacts us with a pretty strange request. We reply with the info, even though we tell him "it is a pretty unusual thing you want to do". His reply:
 Originally by: Customer
Anyway, I am used to 'unusual' in this job. I'm the guy who figured out that a customer's server crash problem was related to someone flushing a toilet in the office restroom. I am the "go-to" guy for the odd-ball cases around here.
So... What weird things have you experienced?
Integrated modules and cargo modules |
Kurren
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Posted - 2006.04.19 18:18:00 -
[2]
I once heard a guy on a Tech Radio show call in and ask why his computer's cup holder wouldn't close.
Tech DJ's reply: Computers don't have cup holders
Caller: Mine does.
Tech DJ's reply: Does it say CD-ROM on it anywhere?
Caller: Yeah, why?
It's coulda been fake, but it was still f-n funny.
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SobaKai.com
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Donna Darko
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Posted - 2006.04.19 19:17:00 -
[3]
I tend to consider that story an urban myth (although I would not be terribly surprised if it was true).
But this isn't a weird problem.
Integrated modules and cargo modules |
Xeios
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Posted - 2006.04.19 20:08:00 -
[4]
Your seriously telling me you've never slightly mistreated your cd tray when there was no other room? 
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nahtoh
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Posted - 2006.04.19 21:47:00 -
[5]
Spending over 30 mins trying to explain why the back button does not work after closing the browser...
That woman could reduce our entire helpdesk to frothing insaity with a couple of calls...
I kid you not one of our guys was head down on the desk hitting something a manager asked "whats with him?" and was told she was speaking to him manager walked off after saying "poor bastard"...
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"I am not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why can`t we just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem fix its self |
Erosie
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Posted - 2006.04.20 20:11:00 -
[6]
or that story about a guy who called the helpdesk, cuz he coudn't find the "any" key
or about that woman that called the helpdesk and ask why her computer didn't work, helpdesk: asked can you check if all cables are plugged, she replied no i can't we have a power outage and i can't see sh*t in here...
true story(s)
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FireFoxx80
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Posted - 2006.04.20 20:26:00 -
[7]
We regularly get people close to swearing at us (in the uni's web support unit), as they can't access their facourite warez site.
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Meridius
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Posted - 2006.04.20 20:41:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Xeios
Your seriously telling me you've never slightly mistreated your cd tray when there was no other room?
W. T. F.
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Boreaz
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Posted - 2006.04.21 01:15:00 -
[9]
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Raven Aure
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Posted - 2006.04.21 01:53:00 -
[10]
We had a call from a user that we'd just done some work for. She was claiming she could hear voices from her computer. So the engineer went back round to take a look.
Turned out she'd knocked the phone off the desk into a bin and the speakerphone button had been clipped in the process.
We've seen all sorts of strange issues. Some very technical (to do with VLAN tagging on adapters) and some just downright silly (like above). I've seen:
Fibre cables cemented into a 400 year old building
A server NIC sending packets out with a random VLAN tag
A hardware (Cisco) site to site VPN that works for 6 months till the client finally installs the application that is to run over it... so the Moscow IT support technician decides to setup the VPN by wiping the config of the Moscow PIX firewall...
A handbag bringing down a company network.
The usual "It's got to be switched on for it to do x/y/z"
A client wondering why a backup to a USB portable HDD (with the power brick brown-taped to the side) was taking a long time to do 200Gb.
That last client wanted to backup a 1Tb SAN array to USB HDDs each night... The people I have to deal with
______________________
Originally by: ParMizaN
i think ive done it a couple of times and nearly done it a lot.
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Kata Dakini
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Posted - 2006.04.21 02:24:00 -
[11]
I can't remember if this was something that happened to a coworker, or another tech support legend, but a woman calls in complaining that her foot switch dosen't work very well. She was older, it was the mouse, she had a sewing machine as well.
The funniest one I ever had goes something like this (while working at EA, gaming support):
Caller: Yes, I have this error message on my screen, it won't go away (BSOD)
(Error message is meaningless, this was on Win98. I needed him to reboot)
Me: Ok, press CTRL ALT DEL a few times, this may restart the computer.
C: That didn't work, the message is still there.
M: Ok, you need to turn your computer off, wait a minute or so, then turn it back on.
C: I can't do that! I was told to never just turn it off without shutting it down properly!
(I convince him otherwise)
C: Ok, I've turned off the computer.
M: Ok, turn it back on.
(I figure I need to wait a few minutes while his system boots, I hit 'mute' on my headset so I can joke with the guy in the next cube. Nearly immediately after I tell him to turn on his computer...)
C: The message is still there!
M: Your computer has already booted up?
C: YES! AND THE MESSAGE IS STILL THERE (The guy is really getting furious)
M: So you're telling me your computer rebooted into windows in about five seconds?
C: Well yea! It always does. It's brand new, I paid a lot for it, it's top of the line.
(I immediately press 'Mute'. I am laughing so hysterically at this point my eyes are tearing up.)
M: Sir, which button did you press to turn off the computer?
C: The 'Power' button right on the front.
M: On the display?
C: Yes!
M: Sir, that just turns off the monitor, you need to power the system off on the tower that sits on the floor.
C: Oh.
That type of call just HAS to be pretty common, though I dunno, I only ever got it once.
And let me tell you, you have NEVER EVER EVER endured true agony, until you've walked a complete layman through making a boot disk for a DOS game, only to find out, after two hours on the phone with them, they also have a windows version.
I was filling in for one of the email support people one week, and once got an email that said:
"Help!!! It's broken!!! Please fix it!!!"
And that was all.
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Drizit
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Posted - 2006.04.21 02:56:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Erosie
or about that woman that called the helpdesk and ask why her computer didn't work, helpdesk: asked can you check if all cables are plugged, she replied no i can't we have a power outage and i can't see sh*t in here...
true story(s)
Very true. It actually happened to me when I worked on a support desk a few years back. And the best part was that it was an Essex girl who called in  On my word it's true.
She asked me why the computer screen was dead on her office computer so I told her to check the cables and such. She went through about 5 minutes of standard tests before asking me if the lights were all out in the office because of a power cut, would that affect the plug sockets as well.
I told her there was a pretty good chance that it was related.
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Morbius Drake
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Posted - 2006.04.21 03:02:00 -
[13]
"She got totally confused by the fact that we were searching within a web site for other web sites. She kept typing her keyword searches into the Internet Explorer address bar, not into the Yahoo! search bar. Then, when she accidentally typed 'cheesecake' into the Explorer box, it actually worked, because there happened to be a web site called that, so that just confused her even more."
Getting Mom Onto Internet A Sysiphean Ordeal
God bless the Onion.
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kessah
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Posted - 2006.04.21 05:21:00 -
[14]
Friend of mine ran a compy business some years ago most funny story he ever told me was...
An elderly lady had ran him up saying "hi there, my computer isnt working properly i believe theres something wrong with the footpedal it doesnt seem to work?"
My mates thinking righto ok no problems must be one of those driving games with the steering wheel periperal, so heads out there.
Pretty sure you can guess what happend next..
Well he walks in tells her to do what she was doing before, and well she puts the mouse on the floor and was tapping it with her foot and says "see bloody thing aint working, it moves alittle bit and i can makes a little bar come up"
Made me chuckle. Love old people, hope i never get that out of touch tho.
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http://www.eve-files.com/media/0604/Forever_pirate.wmv[/ur |
kessah
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Posted - 2006.04.21 05:22:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Morbius Drake
"She got totally confused by the fact that we were searching within a web site for other web sites. She kept typing her keyword searches into the Internet Explorer address bar, not into the Yahoo! search bar. Then, when she accidentally typed 'cheesecake' into the Explorer box, it actually worked, because there happened to be a web site called that, so that just confused her even more."
Getting Mom Onto Internet A Sysiphean Ordeal
God bless the Onion.
thats would be classed as an "ID-10-T" error 
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http://www.eve-files.com/media/0604/Forever_pirate.wmv[/ur |
Graelyn
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Posted - 2006.04.21 07:45:00 -
[16]
Aye, after a bit of troubleshooting, I think we've localized the problem as a faulty connection between the mouse and the office chair.
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Aegis Militia
Fleet Admiral/CEO - The Aeternus Crusade |
Boonaki
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Posted - 2006.04.21 11:38:00 -
[17]
My computer does have a cup holder and a cigerette lighter in it. 5 1/4 drive with an automatic cup holder and a car lighter, I'll link a pic when I get home.
WTB Sig, 50 mil, eve mail me and I'll tell ya what I want. |
Weebear
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Posted - 2006.04.21 16:21:00 -
[18]
I used to work in Internet Banking for a large UK bank, and our helpdesk came to us for some help with a customer (Business User) who claimed that we were charging extortionate amounts to his company phone bill everytime they checked their business accounts in the office. They were absolutely raging as you can imagine! (Several hundred pounds worth of calls we are talking about)
We had a program we sent out which basically looked at his internet settings, output them to a text file which the customer sent back for us to investigate.
Turned out someone in the office had been surfing for p0rn after hours, and had accidentally installed a **** dialler on the machine which had become the default dial-up connection. Trying to explain that he was using "Red Hot C*m Sl*ts" as his ISP with a user name "f*ck****" while not laughing hysterically was probably one of my biggest challenges in my IT career so far. |
Vladimir Ilych
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Posted - 2006.04.21 17:15:00 -
[19]
this one really happened to me.
women calls up and says there 3.5" inch disk is stuck in its drive. fair enough i think, it happens.
Go down there and sure enough it is. Manage to get it out with a trusty paper clip only to discover it has an elastic band wrapped around it.
WTF possessed this person to put an elastic band around a 3.5" disk and THEN shove it in the drive of her computer.
IDIOT. Give em a piece of chalk and slate and let em get on with it.
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Dalieus Dakarn
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Posted - 2006.04.22 22:52:00 -
[20]
Try selling computers to those kinds of people.
Customer: "Yeah, I want me a monitor."
Me: "Ok, did you know what size you are interested in? I suggest a 17" screen as a minimum size."
Customer: "No no no.. I don't think you heard me right, I want a MONITOR. You know, the thing that gets you on the internet?!? Christ, I would think you'd know what these things were called. Do you even KNOW anything about computers?!?"
Me: "You're right, I was making it up. We don't sell those here. (as I'm standing right next to the modems...on purpose.)"
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#2
Customer: "Do you sell computer towers?"
Me: "Just the empty shell, or are you looking for the actual computer?" (from experience.. asked this specifically.  )
Customer: "What's the difference?"
Makes you wonder if people actually listen to what you say. hehe
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#3
Customer: "I need a keyboard that will work with my Gateway. Do you have those?"
Me: "Why yes I do. They're right over here... *points to the keyboards and ask some questions*"
Customer: "No no.. those all say Compaq and Microsoft. I need a GATEWAY keyboard."
Me: "Do you have USB connections on your computer?"
Customer: "Yes."
Me: "Then these will work. *explain*"
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#4 (tech-based)
Customer: "My computer's running real slow."
Me: "Ok, I'll be happy to look at it for you."
Computer has 2% diskspace UNUSED. Of the 40GB HD, there is 15GB in the Temporary Internet Files folder. 10GB of p*rn. The running applications toolbar takes up from the clock to the start button. Icons all over the screen. over 35,000 viruses (yes.. THOUSAND)....
I told the lady to buy a new computer. With what she would have been charged, I saved her $100.
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