Hello guys and gals! And Fedos and rogue drones, and transvestites, etc, etc.

Your dear old uncle Aracturus here to tell you about The Noir Lounge, run by yours truly!
What is The Noir Lounge? It's nothing more or less than the swingingest little speakeasy this side of deklein, that's what!

Do you like atmosphere? Live Entertainment? Sultry lounge singers? Smooth Jazz? Swing? Then come on down to The Noir Lounge!

The Noir Lounge is located aboard the GDV-27 Tempered Resolve, a Naglfar-class dreadnought. We have full connections allowing you to easily get to us via INTERBUS, so no fear! Just look up "The Noir" in your necomm, and all details for getting there will be transmitted to you!

The rules:

- Absolutely Positively NO Weapons. There are weapon scanners, armed guards, and Auto-targeting minigun turrets. Trust me when I say you don't want to be caught with a weapon aboard my ship.
- Leave your problems, and your drama, at the door. I reserve the right to eject anyone who's causing problems (that includes starting fights) at any time. And by 'eject', I mean 'out the airlock'. You have been warned.
- Leave your slaves at home. I don't care who or what you are, but leave the slaves and the fetishes at home, please. (Also, this is a minmatar ship, with a lot of minmatar crew, so... yeah.)
- No soliciting the entertainment. The lounge singers are there to sing. That's it. They are not strippers, hookers, or dancers. Mistreat them at your own risk.
- Happy Hour is from 22:00 to 02:00. Drinks during happy hour are half off.
- Don't whine about the music. This is all live performances, so don't **** and moan about how you don't like the music.
- I reserve the right to eject anyone at any time for any reason from this establishment.


Again, just look up "The Noir" on your neocomm and come on down!
We also allow remote connections and holopresence!

Many people fall under the umbrella of Goonswarm. It's not unreasonable in the slightest to believe that there are legitimate business men and women within the group who wish to host honest establishments such as...

Many people fall under the umbrella of Goonswarm. It's not unreasonable in the slightest to believe that there are legitimate business men and women within the group who wish to host honest establishments such as.

A Goon bar out in their space? This sounds about as safe as jamming large ice picks into ones own ears.

Where's your sense of adventure! Sacrifices must be made to Lord Fun.

I fail to see how this would be funny... for me. I would find it hilarious as a Goon, but not me. :)

My bar, The Golden Lounge, does not require payment from capsuleers for drinks or food. All hours are 'happy hour'. The menu is extensive, and simply my reputation preceding entry has been enough to make those who visit know to be civil. I will not allow harm to come to my guests, and in turn they are respectful of the establishment and each other.

/shameless self promotion

I live-streamed a concert there last night.

While I cannot speak for the the drinks, atmosphere and music was of very high quality.
The security was to be expected on the public deck of a warship. Though next time perhaps, the show will not be put on while on standby for combat operations.

I am recommending the Noir Lounge highly.

- Absolutely Positively NO Weapons. There are weapon scanners, armed guards, and Auto-targeting minigun turrets. Trust me when I say you don't want to be caught with a weapon aboard my ship.

Aw

But i bring my SMG everywhere....Fine, but can i at least bring the tank?

If you can somehow manage to fit a tank aboard our shuttlecraft, then I will applaud you.

you would be surprised...By the way, how strong exactly are the drinks there?

scale on 1-10
1 being normal beer

and 10 being "what the **** did i do last night?, my kidney is missing, i transferred all my money to a guy named Hugo and who is this woman i never met before laying besides me, and Ah **** i'm late for work now, and my wife tried to get a hold of me 20 times last night"