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eXarch
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Posted - 2003.09.28 20:57:00 -
[1]
Taggart Transpiratical would like to thank the outgoing members of M3G4 corp for serving as cannon-fodder in Venal for these last few weeks. Since we ourselves are craven and parsimonious, we require others to fight our wars for us, and M3G4 served in this capacity quite well.
The demise of M3G4 is unfortunate. Even we, with our incredible capacity for spin and deceit, cannot attempt to disguise something so utterly obvious.
However, with bad news comes opportunity. We at TTI firmly believe in capitalizing on unfortunate events, and so should you. M3G4's departure from The Northern Alliance has created new openings for the positions of:
Our Shield.
Our backbone.
Cannon-fodder.
All interested parties, please send your applications and corporate resume' to TTI Human Resources.
Qualified candidates will have a minimum of 50 members, 20 of which will have battleships, and an overconfident CEO unable to understand simple arithmetic, so that our offers of assistance will appear to have some profit-making potential.
Ideal candidates will have 20 or more members with negative security ratings and a horrible reputation within the EVE community, so that after you get totally screwed over in Venal, no one will sympathize with you, and our already bad PR will be unaffected.
And the really perfect candidate will forget about the fact that wi have billions and billions of ISK in the bank when times get really bad, and will treat us as an equal, even though we will not represent on the battlefield. After all--if you're stupid enough to fight our war for us, you can't expect US to help you.
TTI would also like to take this opportunity to declare complete and total victory in the Venal region. There are NO NVA battleships in Venal.
Everything is peachy. Ducky!
And for all those reading, please do not hesitate to donate millions of ISK to TTI ASAP. We need the money. The war was costly and we now have barely 5 billion ISK in expendable cash. Please help. 
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Diamond Dog
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Posted - 2003.09.28 21:02:00 -
[2]
OK
this is a really bad joke
SHAME ON YOU !
Diamond Dog
Fighters Of Heineken
New Venal Alliance
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Pact Foreman
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Posted - 2003.09.28 21:22:00 -
[3]
hmm... sarcasm?
Would be funny if it werenŠt true (exept for the 2nd last paragraph).
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TMX
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Posted - 2003.09.28 21:44:00 -
[4]
LoL! :D
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Live fast die young, clone and take revenge! |
Athule Snanm
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Posted - 2003.09.28 21:48:00 -
[5]
What no mention of Ragnar's Magic Hat????
_______________________________
Doomheim - EVE's only hygiene! |
KIAInkZ
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Posted - 2003.09.28 21:50:00 -
[6]
It's been reported that TTI are to hire the A TEAM!
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Forums/Killboard - http://www.kia-corp.co.uk |
TMX
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Posted - 2003.09.28 21:51:00 -
[7]
there for we as N-VA will give full surender to the a-team :(
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Live fast die young, clone and take revenge! |
Cormyat Astara
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Posted - 2003.09.28 21:52:00 -
[8]
...This just in...Ragnar, angered by the neverending, completely unfair bashing of TTI within EVE, is making preparations to deploy his hat, which, of course, is magic. And all the NVA infidels remaining in Venal (there's like 2 or 200 or somthing) will fall under the spell of The Hat. ph34r!
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Jade Constantine
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Posted - 2003.09.28 22:28:00 -
[9]
no idea who eXarch is; but its quite a funny post. ;)
Love and peace
JF Public Forum |
Raven DeBlade
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Posted - 2003.09.28 22:30:00 -
[10]
The A-Team? i heard the tried to hire Charlies Angels, The Muppets and the entire cast of Sesame Street.
"To hunt pirates you need time and patience, because even monkeys fall from the trees"
"Any statements made above this line are my persona" |
Jade Constantine
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Posted - 2003.09.28 22:35:00 -
[11]
I know for a fact they got "the muppets" ... I have been negotiating with "gonzo and beaker" for the last 10 days.
Love and peace
JF Public Forum |
Skillz
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Posted - 2003.09.28 22:37:00 -
[12]
Edited by: Skillz on 29/09/2003 00:11:09
 Quote:
It's been reported that TTI are to hire the A TEAM!
Made me laugh so hard I had to wipe tears of my cheeks.
This is the orignal magic TTI hat in action, don't accept any substitutes!
Keep on flaming, lamers.
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Dianabolic
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Posted - 2003.09.28 22:42:00 -
[13]
Quote:
...This just in...Ragnar, angered by the neverending, completely unfair bashing of TTI within EVE, is making preparations to deploy his hat, which, of course, is magic. And all the NVA infidels remaining in Venal (there's like 2 or 200 or somthing) will fall under the spell of The Hat. ph34r!
hahahahaha, magic hat - never ceases to make me laugh.
A lot.
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Sedsiss
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Posted - 2003.09.29 00:00:00 -
[14]
Magic Hat LOL, made me laugh so hard my roommate thought I was dying.
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eXarch
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Posted - 2003.09.29 00:19:00 -
[15]
Edited by: eXarch on 29/09/2003 00:20:49
I have been informed by my employer, Taggart Transpiratical, that there were certain inaccurate or incomplete statements made in my original press release. I apologize profusely (and with complete self-denigration) to my esteemed employer, and offer the follwing corrections:
1. TTI is not craven and parsimonious. We are cautious and frugal.
2. The demise of M3G4 is not unfortunate. We found them extremely independant and difficult to bring to heel, and much prefer our partners to be lapdogs who leap to do the bidding of our wise and extremely handsome master.
3. There were any number of times (one) when there were numerous (two) TTI battleships involved in gate encampments during the war. This is a clear indication of our military strength, prowess, bravery, and commitment to our lapdo--err--partners.
4. Ideal candidates for enlistment into the ranks of the glorious Northern Alliance will kiss our CEO's hat which, of course, is of the magic variety.
Thank you for your forebearance in allowing me to make these much needed corrections for my handsome, equitable, intelligent, and extremely MERCIFUL CEO. Hehehe. Please.
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vf142rex
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Posted - 2003.09.29 01:27:00 -
[16]
The first post was somewhat funny. The second one killed it, idiot.
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High Priestess
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Posted - 2003.09.29 04:52:00 -
[17]
"Taggart Transpiratical "
Its obviuosly Jade shes the only one who uses that term.
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Jade Constantine
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Posted - 2003.09.29 05:10:00 -
[18]
Since when have I ever been afraid to sign my own copy? You High Priestess, are a flea-bitten mongrel of washed-up lap-dog and a shocking ****-poor bootlicker with a penny-ante line in piratical appeasement to boot!
Love and peace
JF Public Forum |
Orestes
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Posted - 2003.09.29 07:40:00 -
[19]
Please keep the debate to the thread already in place.
Thank you 
Join the IC! |
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