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Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.07 21:40:00 -
[1]
Well heres what happened last week my first gf rang me up after nearly 2 years of not seeing me (changed mobile so many times no idea how she got my new number) and asked to meet me this is first person ive ever loved so i went and met her she told me she still loves me and wants to get back together which at first i thought was great (i really do love her) but yesterday she told me shes not ready for a realtionship yet but still wants us to be together(confused the hell outta me) now i know this most prob isnt the right place to ask but all i really wanna know is as the title say what would you do?
sorry for bad spelling/gramma
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HolographicEntrypoint
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Posted - 2006.07.07 21:43:00 -
[2]
ask her out?
---
^ Making Custom Sigs for ISK
My custom EvE Signature Gallery |
Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.07 21:45:00 -
[3]
done that says shes not ready for a realtionship yet but still wants to be together with me
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Anfelina Adante
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Posted - 2006.07.07 21:49:00 -
[4]
Hard to say with no background info as in: who-left-who and why?
Stay friends and treat her like that. By which I mean, if a guy friend called you up and wanted to go out, but you had other plans, you would tell them that.
She calls you up and you have other plans, tell her that. Don't worry about ruining a 'good thing'. After all she looked you up after two years.
Good Luck.
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Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.07 21:53:00 -
[5]
Back story i left her cos she cheated on me after we were going out for a year and a half...soon got over that (god bless good friends)im also still thinking how the hell she coulda got my number
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Xeios
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Posted - 2006.07.07 22:41:00 -
[6]
sounds like she wants a **** buddy. Sorry to sound insensitive but its a compliment really.
I dont like cheating at all personally so i couldnt bring myself to trust her again. Friendship is an option if u really would like to keep her in your life. Trust me when i say tho, if u love her it is not always easy to live with.
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Raven Aure
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Posted - 2006.07.08 02:13:00 -
[7]
It's quite simple:
If you feel that the risk of getting hurt is outweighed by the chance of the happiness that she (and maybe only she?) can provide then go for it.
If you feel that it's going to be less painful to keep searching (or feel that there's someone out there who can be more than her) then a sensitive no is in order.
Trouble is, getting to the stage where you can chose between the above is *far* from simple.
______________________
106 days and still a hijack virgin...
Cherry popped!  ~kieron
Hadron Enterprises |
Ma'lice
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Posted - 2006.07.08 04:02:00 -
[8]
Good advice here so far!
My advice:
The past has past. You can't ever go back. So don't try. It is a true waste of time. Even entertaining the thought is a waste of synaptic activity, to say the least.
Trust, Integrity and Loyalty:
Are the only things a person really possesses that have any worth, if a person does not possess any one of those that person is worthless. IMO
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Xeneis Seabrin
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Posted - 2006.07.08 04:14:00 -
[9]
I'm gunna have to say.... do what feels right....but be careful. People can change alot on 2 years.
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Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.08 10:03:00 -
[10]
thanks for all the advice i think ima go for it only live once and all that any more advice is still very welcome :)
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Lardarz B'stard
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Posted - 2006.07.08 10:20:00 -
[11]
Just have her as your friend but shag her now and again.
Keeps them keen.
Exiles Recruitment |
Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.08 10:22:00 -
[12]
love the sig ^^
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Terraform
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Posted - 2006.07.08 11:39:00 -
[13]
Bah, just leave her and dedicate more time to playing eve, best suggestion ever.. who needs a social life anyway..
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Drizit
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Posted - 2006.07.08 14:02:00 -
[14]
Be happy, be adventurous but above all, be careful 
I have always believed that once a cheat, always a cheat and my last experience of that didn't prove me wrong. When I got back with her, she did the same again. I'd say if you are going to go ahead, keep it in the back of your mind that she might do it again unless she proves otherwise. It will be less painful for you that way if it happens again.
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Laythun
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Posted - 2006.07.08 14:29:00 -
[15]
Bahh..
I always tell my friends to go forwards never backwards.
But my advice would be to just sleep with her till your bored, a little payback never hurt. Also it'll help work it out of your system, its very hard to see an ex after so long cos the attraction IS and WILL always be there. Once its out of your system you'll be aight again.
What strikes me as odd is her saying she doesnt want anything serious but she still took the time to track you down. Like all u can do is take her out and hang out with her and find out IF she still is that person u love. Cos people change bro. 2 years is a LONG time when your growing up.
Btw how old r u/her if u dont mind me asking as it'll help us formulate a solution
See You In Space Cowboy |
Firequill
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Posted - 2006.07.08 17:55:00 -
[16]
ffs...
so typical of women..
dude shes just playing you.. like a one-stringed harp.
The contradiction of the facts:
1: She tracked you down, like a wild animal she wants to bag.
2: She apparently doesnt have it in her to actually work for it, so shes gonna play mind-games with you until you crawl into the cage yourself, broken and begging, like a dog begging to be shot after a car ran it over.
This one is a no-go.. Red light, a f-ing defcon 1 !
Dude, seriously, you will probably fall for it no matter what any of us say, thats our curse (having a soft-spot for gal's).
Heres a couple of advices before you go off with your bleeding heart to face the tip of her lance:
1. make one demand, i.e that she can see you, but only on a certain day of the week, or in one certain enviroment (only in a park for instance). if she truly cares at all about You instead of just her own needs, she will agree given your past.
2. if she tries to control where and when, just say no, that youre busy or something, giving her the sense that she needs to put up an Actual effort to get close to you again.
3. after trying one of those, If she was just trying to play you (99% certainty)
she will either have started some stupid argument with you, trusting that your heart will make you loose your ground, and give her control.
Or she will just vanish again.
4. Or you could just take advantage and charm the hell outta her, give her the illusion of control for a week/day/hour whatever, until she puts out, have your way and be done with her.
Either way, youre bound to take a beating emotionally, so brace yourself for impact.
good luck mate
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Hakera
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Posted - 2006.07.08 18:00:00 -
[17]
messing with you tbh, probably just out of a relationship and wants some rebound love.
ultimatly it boils down to whether or not your right for each other, and if it didnt work first time, not likely to second time.
but hey if you still like her, why not, just be prepared to be hurt again imo
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Wired
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Posted - 2006.07.08 20:18:00 -
[18]
I'm in a similar situation myself (girl i've known ages gets in contact, wondering bout what could've happened).
She might be using you to make herself feel better, if she knows you'd react like this and give her some attention then thats maybe why she got in contact.
Then again she may genuinly be interested but be worried bout what would happen if you got together and it all went wrong.
Now heres the part you may not want to hear and may make me sound like an ar$e but needs to be said. Has she been like this before, because if she has you need to ask yourself "Do i want to get with a girl that messes with my head?". It dont matter how good-lookng she is or how good in bed she is, if shes going to be constantly like this you'll soon tire of her.
What i'd do (and am doing myself cause i'm in similar situation):
1 - Find out why she decided to get in touch after so long and then find out what she really wants. You gotta be prepared to walk away from her no-matter how much you like/love her.
2 - Dont lose any sleep over her (unless she's in your bed and keeping you awake)
3 - Dont stop looking/talking to other girls, chances are you're not the only person she's talking to.
Note to self - stop watching so many crappy day-time tv shows.
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My sig got edited, and all i got was a lousy e-mail |
Silane Daktor
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Posted - 2006.07.08 20:35:00 -
[19]
* she cheats on you, you finish
* 2 years later, she tracks you down
* you meet, she tells you she wants to get back together
* a few days later, she tells you she doesn't want a relationship but wants to "be with you"
If I were you, if you do want her back, I would strongly play hard to get. Show not much interest, don't put her on a pedestal, make it look like your life is so busy you'd have to make time just to see her. Don't be too keen.
In short, find out some background, why the sudden re-interest after so long. And good luck!
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Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.08 22:01:00 -
[20]
im 18 shes 17 18 in one month
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Drizit
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Posted - 2006.07.08 22:24:00 -
[21]
Considering the age, I'd now say the same as others. Play hard to get and keep a distance until you can figure out if her attitude has changed in the last 2 years. At 16, she would still be playing the field but at 18, she may have decided that you were actually the best one.
Having said that, you need to find out first whether she is genuine or just playing you for a fool. If she knows your feelings for her, she may just be using them to get what she wants for now until something better comes along. That's what you need to be sure of.
Don't expose yourself to getting hurt too often, it makes relationships in the future very hard. You never become immune to the pain but you become cynnical and distrusting which will serve only to sabbotage any relationship in the future.
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Kata Dakini
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:06:00 -
[22]
lol how obvious is this? Firequill is right.
Here's the facts...
She cheated on you before. You didn't see her for two years. Now she wants to be with you, but "not just yet".
So in those two years, she probably got with somebody else right? Well, I can tell you she's probably with them right now, but she knows that it's nothing special, so she's setting you up for when that ends.
Think of it this way...
You've got this job that you've had for awhile, and you realize one day you hate it, or will begin to hate it pretty soon. You start looking for another job. You find another job and tell them you can start in two weeks. You go back to your old job and give two weeks notice. All is right in the world because you're getting a new job that you will like, hey it's something you've done before. Plus there is no gap betweeen employment, so you will still be getting a regular "paycheck".
Make sense?
You're only 18, forget her. She's probably gonna get fat in a few years anyway.
___
"And I don't feel any more guilty about liking baseball more than soccer than I do about not using the metric system or speaking Italian or owning an ABBA album."
-Jim Caple |
Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:17:00 -
[23]
Edited by: Nato Xemus on 08/07/2006 23:17:50
just asked her what she wanted from me and why she contacted me and to me sounds like shes bull****ing so told her leave me be thank you all for the advice by the looks of it she was trying to **** me around again.....now for a long period of eve/sleepless nights
Edit: but i do feel much better
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Laythun
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:27:00 -
[24]
Dude! u should have f***** her till your balls were dry then told her its not gonna work.
Works like a charm.
See You In Space Cowboy |
Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:29:00 -
[25]
was going to but...just cant do it...bloody women
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Laythun
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:30:00 -
[26]
 Originally by: Nato Xemus
was going to but...just cant do it...bloody women
I just shed a tear for you. You will grow strong in time.
See You In Space Cowboy |
chris lares
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:33:00 -
[27]
ermm laythuns result to this situation is ermm ok but **** her and whe u get bored u cheat on her **** her best mate or something thats what i would do then she can feel the pain of being cheated on  
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Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:33:00 -
[28]
thanks :)
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Nato Xemus
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:34:00 -
[29]
not that evil.....yet...maybe in 2 years
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chris lares
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Posted - 2006.07.08 23:35:00 -
[30]
**** her mate if shes fit go on son go on HARDCORE :P
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