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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
610
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Posted - 2015.06.06 08:42:44 -
[1] - Quote
Staggering news reaches Gutter Press, that a campaign exists to nominate the Master of Sansha's Nation, Sansha Kuvakei, for the Aidonis Peace Prize !
Inconceivable !
One of the groups behind the campaign, the Caille City Cybernetic Collective, nicknamed "the foreseers", gave the reasons for this nomination as follows:
"Sansha penetrated the wormholes and beheld the Drifters. Knowing they would be a threat in the future, he nobly engaged in the self-sacrificial incursions. Capsuleers say his motivations are inscrutable and unknowable, but it is clear to the Collective. The Incursions have opened the eyes of the major powers and capsuleers, and have stimulated their military abilities. High Security capsuleers are, by virtue of the Incursions, now measurably and demonstratably more able to withstand the coming Drifter invasion. Master is the Answer!"
Inscrutable !
This theory has met with some support by some, but criticism from others: "While it is true that capsuleers have developed some skills at strategic and tactical co-ordination, while combating the Nation incursions, I find it hard to believe that this is Kuvakei's intent, given his rhetoric.", said a Federal Intelligence Office agent.
"If there's a Drifter invasion, then Kuvakei is one of the prime suspects in provoking it!", said a DuVolle Laboratories researcher.
Opponents of the nomination are numerous and equally outspoken:
"Never has my flabber been so gasted", said one Federation Navy agent.
"Sansha! I knew it was them, Even when it was the Caldari, I knew it was them!", said one elderly Caille conspiracy theorist.
"That's where the Drifters came from! The first ones, that whacked Hilen Tukoss! Reverse-engineered True Slaves ! Just like those Echelon frigates ! The Sleepers found some True Slave stuff, and reverse engineered it, to make 1st generation Drifters, then the Seekers appeared, to find the Jovian body parts for 2nd generation Drifters, now there's the 3rd generation Drifters, built from capsuleer corpses ! It's the End Times !", said one alarmed young Dodixie conspiracy theorist.
"I don't want to live in this universe any more", said a depressed UoC science professor.
"Sure, go ahead, give Sansha the Aidonis, it's not like they haven't given it to other questionable dudes. An Amarr Emperor, that jerk Gallente Admiral that started the Empyrean Wars, it's not like Kuvakei would be out of place compared to them, is it ?", said a UoC politics student.
If Sansha Kuvakei does indeed receive the Aidonis prize, it would be a truly amazing occurrence !
Gutter Press. News, before it happens.
Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
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Samira Kernher
Praetorian Auxiliary Force Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
1579
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Posted - 2015.06.06 08:48:45 -
[2] - Quote
Ridiculous.
"Embrace those who would learn, defeat those who would make mockery of God's way. Through the penance of deeds, the sins of forefathers may eventually be washed away."
-- His Royal Highness the Heir Yonis Ardishapur
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Sinjin Mokk
Stillwater Corporation That Escalated Quickly.
143
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Posted - 2015.06.06 10:51:43 -
[3] - Quote
Down with this sort of thing.
Dark Amarr: Rumors!
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik
787
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Posted - 2015.06.06 11:28:23 -
[4] - Quote
Ordinarily, I'd say that "stranger things have happened".
Except, well, they haven't.
Doctor Valerie Valate, archaeologist. Not the other Doctor Valerie Valate.
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Tabris Katz
New Moon Harvesters
27
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Posted - 2015.06.06 11:34:57 -
[5] - Quote
The very fact that Sansha Kuvakei would be nominated for a peace prize is outrageous! If anything he deserves a trial for war crimes against the citizens of the New Eden cluster. |
Lord Kailethre
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
49
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Posted - 2015.06.06 11:37:19 -
[6] - Quote
I bet they all bought cheap Slave set implants from the bargain bin. This is what you get for skimping on quality, folks! |
Anyanka Funk
Alexylva Paradox Low-Class
96
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Posted - 2015.06.06 12:16:55 -
[7] - Quote
For all the hard work he has put in to giving people eternal virtual paradise, he at least deserves something. Good job on the award, Master Kuvakei!
Signature removed due to inappropriate content - CCP Falcon
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Aria Jenneth
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade
860
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Posted - 2015.06.06 14:36:22 -
[8] - Quote
Muck Raker wrote:Staggering news reaches Gutter Press, that a campaign exists to nominate the Master of Sansha's Nation, Sansha Kuvakei, for the Aidonis Peace Prize !
Inconceivable !
....
"Sansha penetrated the wormholes and beheld the Drifters. Knowing they would be a threat in the future, he nobly engaged in the self-sacrificial incursions. Capsuleers say his motivations are inscrutable and unknowable, but it is clear to the Collective. The Incursions have opened the eyes of the major powers and capsuleers, and have stimulated their military abilities. High Security capsuleers are, by virtue of the Incursions, now measurably and demonstratably more able to withstand the coming Drifter invasion. Master is the Answer!"
Inscrutable !
....
If Sansha Kuvakei does indeed receive the Aidonis prize, it would be a truly amazing occurrence !
Improbable ! |
Random Bacon
Science and Trade Institute Caldari State
5
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Posted - 2015.06.07 12:33:15 -
[9] - Quote
It would be hilarious watching the award ceremony, as a few nano-engineers attempt to insert a full-size Aidonis statue into the implant of a true slave for Kuvakei to receive. |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation
465
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Posted - 2015.06.08 03:01:38 -
[10] - Quote
To be fair, Sansha did accomplish the one thing that was never replicated since: Uniting all the four Empires to deploy against his Nation.
Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
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Frenjo Borkstar
Borkstar Laboratories
70
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Posted - 2015.06.08 22:13:17 -
[11] - Quote
Quite frankly, I have more chance of getting it than Sansha does.
And that's saying something.
Dr. Frenjo Borkstar,
Project Lead for Arek'Jaalan's Project Salus.
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Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
556
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Posted - 2015.06.09 10:04:26 -
[12] - Quote
Sadly, I don't think Nation sycophants have a penchant (or implant?) for satire, which might seem like this falling on deaf ears.
Still, quite entertaining. Keep up the good work, Gutter.
- Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim
Angels are never far...
Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc
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Mika Firestorm
Your Friendly Neighborhood Logistics
8
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Posted - 2015.06.09 18:24:27 -
[13] - Quote
Neither Sansha Kuvakei, nor either of his pets, pilots or so-called "voluntary" followers are humans anymore, they are robots, drones, things. Objects, but not humans. If you want to give Aidonis to this abomination, you could as well give it to a rogue drone hive.
Or just to my trusty Acolyte II drone who served a good service in saving poor civilians from being uplifted by monsters.
State the nature of your medical emergency
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Kalaratiri
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade
606
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Posted - 2015.06.09 18:47:38 -
[14] - Quote
Frenjo Borkstar wrote:Quite frankly, I have more chance of getting it than Sansha does.
And that's saying something.
I actually don't think you do.
She's mad but she's magic, there's no lie in her fire.
This is possibly one of the worst threads in the history of these forums. -á- CCP Falcon
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