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shogun1
Gallente
Mortis Angelus
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Posted - 2006.12.08 08:28:00 -
[1]
The day began chatting with my mates on corp, while belt hopping. I come across a system that has no stations, and maybe 10-11 belts. There are only two people in this system. Me, and a 16-day old newbie driving a FEROX.(Yes, my jaw dropped too)
"Im in heaven!" I thought to myself as I warped in-between belts with my rifter. Two things came to mind: "If hes an alt, Im in trouble. But if he's new, I have the luckiest catch of my career."
And,
"..is he at a POS?"
The second concerned me more than the first, so I dwelled on it while warping between belts. Finally, the answer arose in my head like a women in a cotton shirt with high-beams.
"....could it be that this guy is really a newbie? *evil scheme works in head* Well, Ive got nothing to lose, so its worth a shot."
I convo'd the guy, and smooth talked him. Or fooled him. the conversation went along the lines of asking what ship he had at first. He told me. I then asked, how long was he playing? 10 days. Third and final sweet question:
"Im sorry, Im a noob. How do you beat these cruiser-rats? What set-up do you use?"
After massaging his ego for about 6 minutes, I asked him If I could join him ratting. Answer: "Sure, hop on over to belt one!"
BINGO! JACKPOT! UNO!
He invited me, I jumped over, and while he was busy killing rats, the words slipped from my lips: "YAHAR!"
Nos'd, webbed, and scrambled. My tiny frigate plinking away at his shields. Sadly, however, the frigate rats did more damage than I ever could.(at this point I was in tears at my shameless attempt at pirating) His shield was still going down, if bit-by-bit. At this point, I asked for 15 mil. He logged off. Rats STILL killing him.
And then the twist of fate: *pops head through my door*"Get your ass downstairs or I unplug the internet(yes, word-for-word)."
My sister. Oh how I hate her. Sad thing is
she would do it too, without hesitation.(she has done it before, and I lost a brutix. Go figure.)
"*angry face* Can you hold on? *grinds teeth* Im in the middle of something."
"Fine. say goodbye to your game."
*sister runs downstars*
I panicked. I knew I had about 30 seconds before she reached that plug. In a hurry, I warped to belt seven, ran downstairs, threw my sister in the laundry room, locked the door and ran back upstairs to more important matters(I can still hear the screaming...such sweet noise....).
Back in the game of EvE......I rushed back to belt one. The idiots STILL logged off, and the rats now have him into hull(even more damaging my e-peen). I approached him, killed the rats, and pinned him again. He logged back on, and we continued our fight. After he is almost dead, I feel the swift impact of a high-heel shoe fly into my left temple. "GAH" *falls off chair(she plays sports and has the throwing arm of a *******.)
She had a ******* key. Fan-*******-tastic.
I scramble to my chair, warp to a random planet(combination of rage, adrenalin, and shoe concussion), and shove her out of the room. *barrs door with chair*
the ferox escaped.
I come back, listen to newbie talk about reporting me, wait off timer, warp to station(in another system), log off, and get an icepack.
Ever see a grown man cry himself to sleep?
-end
hablaaarg? |
Marcus TheMartin
Gallente
MAFIA
Pirate Coalition
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Posted - 2006.12.08 08:34:00 -
[2]
My dad likes to make me watch movies whenever I seem to be out yarring in a situation where if I went afk that I would get me killed. Murphys law at its best lol
Sig Nerf - Cortes
I declare war on ISD!
You don't stand a chance  -Karl
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Mogubu
League of Gentlemen
O X I D E
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Posted - 2006.12.08 09:44:00 -
[3]
 Originally by: shogun1
...grown man...
Now, there is something not adding up in this story.
Also, next time, bring a bigger gun and he will die.
---
Buy mjolnir javelins or rage infernos? Eve-mail me! |
UBERPWN
Amarr
LDK
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Posted - 2006.12.08 10:59:00 -
[4]
Yup, and no need to warp to all belts. Warp to a planet from where your scanner is scanning him and then use directional scanning.
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Garan Savlar
Gallente
Ascendant Strategies Inc.
The Volition Cult
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Posted - 2006.12.08 12:58:00 -
[5]
Funny story, I enjoyed it ... thanks! 
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Faugh-A-Ballaugh! |
Exogene
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Posted - 2006.12.08 17:04:00 -
[6]
Duct tape is the answer don't listen to the others...Use duct tape, preferably one on the mouth too to avoid distractions 
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Lusimdoor Lighitbrine
Gallente
mUfFiN fAcToRy
Pirate Coalition
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Posted - 2006.12.08 17:40:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Exogene
Duct tape is the answer don't listen to the others...Use duct tape, preferably one on the mouth too to avoid distractions
and rope or tap eonthe hands behind her back....i did that once to a girl and she was nice quite for like 3 hours of eve time....it hurt when i let her out tho :( but she got over it and it was a sweet might of make up ***. telling u nothing like a girl that likes a little rope and tape to spice up a night.
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Kamazani
Minmatar
Republic Military School
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Posted - 2006.12.08 17:48:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Kamazani on 08/12/2006 17:52:44
wow.. you tried to swindle a New player, way to go man! <goes back and re-reads the general discussion 40 page pve vs pvp argument>  fun fun.
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by: GinoShin on 21/11/2006 11:41:44
whats evemon is it like a jamican wiseman? |
Zaphod Jones
Celtic Anarchy
Anarchy Empire
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Posted - 2006.12.08 17:55:00 -
[9]
grown men live with their sisters ?
are you from Wales ? 
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shogun1
Gallente
Mortis Angelus
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Posted - 2006.12.08 18:01:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Zaphod Jones
grown men live with their sisters ?
are you from Wales ?
I come from a hippy family. We are bunched in clans of 5 or 10 per roof.
hablaaarg? |
shogun1
Gallente
Mortis Angelus
|
Posted - 2006.12.08 18:02:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Mogubu
Originally by: shogun1
...grown man...
Now, there is something not adding up in this story.
Also, next time, bring a bigger gun and he will die.
Siblings at any age can be a pain in the ass.
Also, Im tight for cash. The well of ransoming has been dry.
hablaaarg? |
Kamazani
Minmatar
Republic Military School
|
Posted - 2006.12.08 18:29:00 -
[12]
Originally by: shogun1
Originally by: Mogubu
Originally by: shogun1
...grown man...
Now, there is something not adding up in this story.
Also, next time, bring a bigger gun and he will die.
Siblings at any age can be a pain in the ass.
Also, Im tight for cash. The well of ransoming has been dry.
do missions.. or mine. oh wait.. you are a pirate you can't.
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by: GinoShin on 21/11/2006 11:41:44
whats evemon is it like a jamican wiseman? |
rat master
|
Posted - 2006.12.08 18:32:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Kamazani
Originally by: shogun1
Originally by: Mogubu
Originally by: shogun1
...grown man...
Now, there is something not adding up in this story.
Also, next time, bring a bigger gun and he will die.
Siblings at any age can be a pain in the ass.
Also, Im tight for cash. The well of ransoming has been dry.
do missions.. or mine. oh wait.. you are a pirate you can't.
I shed a tear for the truth.
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